Open ain't no need to rush

Jonah stood nervously around the Great Hall, his hand in Lumos' after he'd once again been dragged from the Hufflepuff Common Room all the way down to the Dance. He wasn't sure if he'd dressed up enough for the occasion, but this was the nicest he found in his trunk, and he really hoped he got the right idea that the Valentine's Dance was not as formal as the Yule Ball. He really probably should have asked his parents for more formal wear, but it didn't feel like his style, and he hadn't wanted to bother them with taking him out to shop, and he didn't want to tell them yet about going to the dances with his friend. There were stories that his dad freaked out when Corey first went to a dance with Roxas. Not that he had the same thing going on with Lumos! Or, well, not that he would be opposed to it! It was just that what if Lumos didn't like him because he was too much trouble? That was honestly why he'd been too scared to put his name down on the rose he sent to Lumos. And then he remembered that he also got a pink rose from Lumos - but it was more a thank you, and he was pretty sure it was different from what Jonah meant when he sent the pink rose. But anyway, he was all nervous because Lumos was definitely going to figure something out because Jonah was an open book even when he tried not to be. "Sweets table first?" was the best he could do as he pointed towards where the sweets were and then tugged on Lumos with their joined hands.​

LUmos felt a little bad about Demi not coming with him and JOnah to the dance. If he’d waited a little bit maybe he would have gone with Demi. Jonah was his friend, but Demi was his best friend and he hadn’t been spending nearly enough time with her, and now that he’d realised he maybe had a crush on Jonah, well, things were probably going to be a little more difficult, he wasn’t sure how he felt about that though, because it was Jonah. He liked spending time with Jonah and he was constantly worried that if he didn’t, Jonah was gonna disappear. They’d been working well on his charms, so hopefully Jonah was feeling a little more confident these days. “Hey look, it seems like your sister dragged your brother too,” he said, pointing them out a little further into the room. “Or do you think he dragged her?” They were in the same house, Hinata and Jonah, he wished he had siblings in his own house. Maybe he would later, when he wasn’t in school anymore, it didn’t count though. How did both Uncle Ezra’s kids end up in Gryffindor and he just ended up in Slytherin, he felt like he was maybe the only one in the whole Cade family - apart from Uncle Ezra, but he’d only been here for like five minutes. He squeezed Jonah’s hand and nodded. “Yeah, sweets sounds like a good idea,” holding Jonah’s hand felt a bit strange now, since he knew how he felt, and knowing Jonah didn’t feel the same. Should they even be holding hands? Did friends hold friends hands? “Do you wanna sit at one of those tables?”​

Jonah had never really thought about what his siblings did during these kinds of events. He knew the Nightrays - Mikael and Eurydice - had someone to go with for everything. Mikael had a boyfriend, and he was pretty sure that Eurydice and William had been going to all the events together since... he didn't actually know. He thought he'd spotted Rose during the Yule Ball with Amory, which he was surprised by, especially after the two of them had shown up together during a truth-or-dare study session. He hadn't really thought that his siblings would have gone together, and there was a little pang in his chest that he promptly ignored. "Hinata did," or at least that was his guess by the way Elijah had shown up with his school robes. "He's her favorite," he said off-handedly, he hadn't even meant to say it, and he'd never really thought about it until now, but obviously that was the case because he and Hinata were in the same house, but he'd never gotten as much as a peep from her about attending school events together. But apparently, she would take Elijah. He banished the thoughts from his mind because it didn't really matter, he was here with Lumos. Lumos, who was also acting weird, and Jonah wondered if he was regretting asking Jonah to the Dance. There probably would have been better people to take than him. "Yeah, that'd be nice," he said with a small smile as they went to the snack table first and tried to fill a plate with cinnamon buns and gummies with only his free hand before he decided to ask, "Are you okay?" Maybe he'd figured out Jonah sent the rose and didn't know how to... Jonah didn't even know. Would Lumos even want to be friends with him still if he found out that Jonah liked him? He didn't want to be not friends with Lumos anymore, and he almost tightened his hold on Lumos' hand at the thought. He was at a loss here.​

Lumos hadn’t really expected Jonah to notice anything was off, he had thought he’d been careful, but he should have expected that he would notice, he’d always been very perceptive Lumos thought. He hesitated for a second, staring down at the plate of sweets they were slowly assembling - or rather the plate of sweets Jonah was a assembling - and sighed. Was he okay? The truth was that he wasn’t sure, but he didn’t want to worry Jonah by saying that. He’d been happy when Jonah had accepted going to the dance with him but now he couldn’t shake the feeling that Jonah might have been cornered into it, or was just being nice, or had nothing else to do. Maybe he’d misread his friend entirely and maybe Jonah wanted someone else to ask him and Lumos had just been the easiest option. He knew that maybe wasn’t a fair thing to think about his friend, but it had been in his head since they’d arrived and especially since the roses and talking to Demi. Everything was so jumbled.

Still, Jonah’s hand in his was nice, and he thought he could feel Jonah’s grip tighten slightly and for a second, Lumos thought that maybe - maybe - Jonah didn’t want to let go either. “I’m okay,” because okay sounded better than fine. “Just… thinking too much, I guess.” He popped another cinnamon bun onto the growing pile of things from the snack table and kept his eyes on it. “Do you ever do that? Think so much about things you start making your own problem in your head for like… no reason?” he laughed a little awkwardly, maybe this was all in his head or maybe it wasn’t, he had no idea, but it was ruining his evening.​

Okay, so Jonah may have been filling his plate with too much gummies and cinnamon buns. But what else was he going to do? It had been the only distraction he could think of, so now he was stuck with holding a plateful of the things until Lumos finally answered. "Okay," he breathed out. He bit his lip, almost asking him right then and there, what was he thinking about so hard. He was glad he stayed silent a little bit more though as Lumos asked him a question. "Yeah," he said quietly. Jonah... Jonah thought a lot about things. More often than not, that was what he was left with. To ponder on things and wonder what he should have done instead. Or maybe just... think of how to stop thinking. "I do that a lot I think," he said with a rueful smile before squeezing Lumos' hand. "I... Wha-... Do you want to tell me what you're thinking about? Y-You don't have to b-but I'm here to listen if y-you ever want someone to talk to," he managed to stammer out. He wasn't really anyone that anyone would like to come to with things. B-But he wanted to be one for Lumos.​

He watched Jonah quietly, watching the plate fill more than it needed to as they both tried to avoid whatever they weren’t saying. He didn’t like the shift in mood, it was making him uneasy, but what was he supposed to do in this situation? Jonah was currently stuck in his head just as much as Lumos was for the moment, so how were either of them supposed to pull the other out? He wasn’t sure if sharing his thoughts would help, or would it just give Jonah more things to worry about and agonise over, since he was annoyingly good at that. Lumos didn’t always know how to pull him out of his own head, not that he would ever stop trying. He scratched his arm absently, more of a nervous habit than anything and shrugged. “I think I was mostly just overthinking thing, you know, wondering if I was saying the right things, making the right choices, spending time with the right people, that sort of thing,” he said sighing. “I’m probably just being stupid, but you…” he steadied a little, his grip on Jonah’s hand getting a little firmer. “You’re already someone that I can talk to. You have been since we met, so… you don’t need to worry about that at all.”​

Jonah wouldn't have been able to explain the pang in his chest when Lumos said he'd been wondering if he'd been spending time with the right people. It was hard for him to think sometimes that he could be anyone's person since he could be too much sometimes. Too dumb, too energetic, too chaotic, too emotional, too.... too much. He'd almost tried to let go of Lumos' hand then, but then the Slytherin held firm. And then Lumos' words. Was it too much to think that he wasn't too much for Lumos? That he wasn't lacking either the way he was for others? That he was just enough as too much and too little as he was? Before he could even think about it... he leaned in and pulled Lumos gently by the hand, all so Jonah could press his lips on Lumos'.​

Lumos was watching Jonah, trying to process what he was about to say next and barely managed to catch the shift in Jonah’s expression before he was being pulled in, his hand still wrapped around Jonah’s. He barely even noticed they were closer until Jonah kissed him. Lumos stopped breathing, and for a second he froze, his brain struggling to catch up with the events of the last half second with the sudden rush of emotions. There were a lot of emotions, evidently, and a lot of them were aimed at Jonah specifically, some of them more fleeting to the back of his mind where he kept things he wasn’t very interested in analysing right now. Jonah was kissing him. He was kissing Jonah - was there a difference?

He pulled back slowly, blinking, his face growing steadily hot in a way he wasn’t sure how to process. His grip on Jonah’s hand tightened instinctively, afraid that if he let go right now Jonah might run away, or he might run away himself, he wasn’t sure. “I-” he swallowed, unsure what to say right now. Was he supposed to ask Jonah why? Was Jonah trying to get his attention? Maybe he’d just imagined it… He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say, or if he was supposed to say anything at all. But was that a nervous flicker in Jonah’s eyes? He’d always hesitated over doing things he wanted to do - like he was afraid it wasn’t going to be enough. So instead of pulling completely away, he squeezed Jonah’s hand even tighter, heart racing, mind spinning, tiny smile on his face. “Okay. Me too.” Somehow he knew Jonah would understand.​

The kiss hadn't even lasted long before Jonah's brain finally caught up with what he'd just done. But... But he refused to pull back in panic or surprise because... Because he didn't want Lumos to think Jonah hadn't wanted to do that. Jonah may not have intended to do what he had done, but he'd most obviously wanted to or else he wouldn't have even done it without so much as thinking. Still, he blinked slowly as he pulled away, Lumos doing the same and Jonah watched him intently for any reaction. Any indication that Lumos didn't want to have anything to do with Jonah anymore. It wasn't like this was their first kiss. He'd kissed Lumos before in truth or dare. More than once even. But this was different. This wasn't surrounded by their friends or cousins and being egged on. No one had even told them to show up here holding hands, and certainly, no one had told Jonah to kiss Lumos. That was all him. And he'd done it just because he wanted to. And it was a scary thought that he could lose his friend just for that. He'd be losing more than just a friend even if the pain in his chest was anything to go by. Still, he tried his best not to show any of it on his face. But he was sure that his relief had been palpable when Lumos finally held his hand even tighter and Jonah could almost cry just from that alone. But that tiny smile and Lumos' assurance, his words - that was enough. And the biggest, most sincere grin since the school year had started made its way on Jonah's face. Yeah. This was okay.​