Where Do We Go From Here

[Katalina Harker]

After a day of dancing and partying the day before Kat wanted some time to herself just to walk around and think. She was dressed comfortably in black pants, white tank, and tennis shoes. She wasn't really much to look at, but she didn't have anyone to impress...not anymore at least. There wasn't really anything that she had wanted to look at so Kat found a nice bench just along the edge of the bustle of people and sat down. Pulling a book from her bag she pulled her feet up under her and started into her new novel.

 

[Chace Harker]

Sixth year was going by smoothly so far; unless Chace counted, of course, the incident with Kat. It wasn't that he hadn't enjoyed what he could briefly- what sixteen year old boy wouldn't want a moment like that?- but it had been extremely overwhelming. And at that point in time he was glad that he hadn't ended up in the hospital wing. Sumner was a mean bastard that had raised fists against the Slytherin more than once.

Chace sighed softly as he ambled through Brightstone Village. He'd had plenty of time to think about what had happened. Oddly enough, he was never able to catch Kat. He barely noticed her hiding behind a book. The Slytherin nearly walked past her before turning on his heel. Figuring this would be as good a time as any to talk, he flopped onto the other side of the bench, crossing one leg over the other. "Hey, Kat."

 

[Katalina Harker]

Feeling someone sit down beside her Kat pulled her book down into her lap and froze when she heard his voice. Closing her book and placing it beside her she looked straight ahead, afraid of what she'd see if she looked at him. Kat hadn't talked to Chace since 'that' day. The day when she'd confessed to him how she felt. The day when she'd kissed him and meant it. The day her world had essentially ended. The day that he walked away from her without a word.

"Hey," she said finally looking at him, her bright blue eyes searching his emerald ones for some kind of answer. Any indication that he felt the same for her, letting her know that what she had done had meant something to him. "So how do we do this?"

 

[Chace Harker]

Good question. Chace could only really shrug in response, turning his torso towards Kat. It was strange. He'd had feelings for so long for this girl, and now that he had been in a situation that he had dreamed about for ages, he was oddly calm about it. The Slytherin wasn't sure what he felt anymore. Sure, he still liked Kat, but the attraction to her wasn't as strong, not as solid. Maybe the affections he had craved for so long had been the cure to his lovesickness?

"Beats me. I'm sorry I ran off on you. I didn't know what to think."

 

[Katalina Harker]

At first she couldn't look at him. She was afraid of what his expression would tell her and worse...what her eyes would say about her. Kat wanted Chace to make her feel like her decision hadn't been a mistake, that taking the stupid chance she'd taken had all been worth it. She wanted to hear that he still felt the same about her as he always had...she wanted him to help her get over Sumner.

Finally looking him directly in the face she just stared for a minute. "Um, yeah. No that's fine. I didn't expect you to stay and have to..." Her voice trailed off as she thought back to that day. She cringed at how horribly wrong everything had gone. Kat had tried lying to herself, saying that the kiss had meant nothing, but it was simply that...a lie. It had definitely meant something, probably more than it should have and now she didn't know how to make anything she was feeling stop. Yes, she was still in love with Sumner, but somewhere over the course of their love a small piece of her heart had held out for another. The Slytherin sitting next to her.

"What do you want to happen," she asked with some glimmer of hope in her voice, but then a thought hit her like a ton of bricks. What if things had changed for him? What if he no longer wanted her the way her once had? Just...what if? "I mean, I just, hell, I don't know what I mean. I was just hoping that maybe you...well maybe," she couldn't even finish what she was trying to say. Her gut was telling her to run for the hills and never look back, but her heart was saying let's wait and see.

 

[Chace Harker]

Biting down hard on his cheek, Chace was silent as he tried to figure out what to say to Kat. How was he supposed to respond to a question like that? He'd trailed after her for a good year now, a puppy forever waiting for his owner to turn and acknowledge him. Now that she was offering the opportunity, he was hesitating. Maybe he didn't need her as much as he thought he had. Maybe he was scared. Maybe, just maybe, he didn't want to be the rebound boy.

"I'm- not sure," he said honestly. "I mean, you and Sumner..." He was quiet. The feelings were still there, still trying to force themselves from the surface, but honestly, would they even be at this point if there hadn't been a break up at all? No. The Slytherin swallowed hard. "I really like, you, Kat, I always have. I just don't know what I want. Not anymore."

 

[Katalina Harker]

And there she had her answer. What he said was he didn't know what he wanted and what she heard was I don't want you. So it really all had been for nothing. Kat's heart fell into the pit of her stomach and she stared straight ahead, not looking at the boy sitting beside her. Her mind drifted back to last year. Would things had been different between the two of them if Sumner had never been in the equation? No Kat you can't think like that...your time with Sumner wasn't bad she berated herself harshly.

"There is no me and Sumner...not anymore...not ever again," she whispered, willing herself not to cry...refusing to cry. "Can't say I much blame you I guess. I don't guess I did much to make things easy on you for the last year and for that I'm sorry," she said still not looking at him. They sat there for a few minutes in silence, not looking at each other. Finally she broke the quiet and turned to look Chace square in the eyes so that he'd know she was telling the truth. "I don't regret it, just so you know. Honestly as horrible as it sounds if I had it to do all over again I wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't something I wanted," Kat said slowly, making sure that he understood every word.

 

[Chace Harker]

Chace was completely silent as Kat spoke. Each word was like a bludgeon, a painful reminder of what they once had and lost. What he had allowed to slip through his fingers. Part of him wanted to hold Kat, console her, tell her that everything was going to be all right. The other part desired nothing of the sort.

Sighing, the Slytherin leaned forward, resting his head on his hands. "I'm sorry too." Chace had contributed a great deal too. Kat shouldn't have to be the only one apologizing. He fell quiet again, staring at the rest of Brightstone without really seeing it. His gaze gravitated to Kat when she turned hers on him. He knew that what she was saying was honest and heartfelt. And it made him feel even worse. Despite that, he managed to force a small smile.

"And I wouldn't expect anything less, Katalina Vanderhol. That's what makes you such a great person."

 

[Katalina Harker]

Kat looked at him confused. "What are you apologizing for? You didn't do anything wrong," she said sincerely, knowing that Chace had nothing to be sorry for...he hadn't done anything wrong. When he said she was a great person a lump formed in her throat and she couldn't stop the few tears that escaped her eyes. Wiping them away quickly she said, "I can pretty much guarantee that their is at least one person who doesn't think I'm so great."

She knew good and well what Chace's answer was and he didn't even have to spell it out for her. He didn't want to be with her, plain and simple. It was a fact that she was going to have to live with and she'd do her damnedest to do so. Kat didn't know if she could take much more right now...surely she'd break if she had to continue sitting here conversing with the one that her heart felt for and couldn't have. Standing and placing her bag over her shoulder Kat faced Chace. She bent slightly and brushed her lips lightly across his. "Thank you...for everything," she said with her eyes closed as she pressed one more light kiss to his jawline before whispering in his ear, "I'll never regret a single moment of it." With that Kat turned and walked away from the Slytherin, her heart wrenching as she did.