Closed Unloved

Onyx Derouin

Dramatic- Loyal- Growing- Soft Boi
 
Messages
931
OOC First Name
Jess S
Blood Status
Mixed Blood
Relationship Status
Married
Sexual Orientation
Eternally Smitten
Wand
Cedar Wood, Hippogriff Feather core, 13 1/2 inches
Age
12/23/2033 (27)
Onyx felt like he'd been shredded. He couldn't hide in his house without risking running into Elio, he couldn't think of anywhere in the castle that didn't scream Chrys's name to him. He had slipped Isla a note during the day, not sure if she would even come out to see him, but he'd needed someone, and for some reason he had just been craving her presence when they were apart. It wasn't often... or really, ever, that he made a friend outside of Sapphire's circle, but what he had with Isla, it felt... special to him. Like sh was so unique and interesting and he really felt like she cared about him. He was crying again, but he always was anymore. He sat with his back up against a tree, knees pulled up to his chest and the hood of his jacket pulled up to try and cover his face a bit more as he sniffled quietly.

Izzy,
I'm going out to Avie's rock, it's out by the cliffs, can you come see me when you aren't busy? I really need you...

cat-pawprint-130939-7888507.jpg
 
Isla had been a bit surprised to receive a note from Onyx, asking for her to meet him. She wasn't exactly sure why he thought she would be able to help him of all people, given that they hadn't actually been talking for too long, although it was clear that they had more things in common than met the eye, and every time they did talk, it was clear they got on well which was a lot for Isla who in four year had made nothing but enemies. She came out to Avie's rock, trying to find the Gryffindor, expecting him to be waiting for her in the open but instead she saw the figure of him sitting against a tree, crying. This was new. "The heck are you doing down there?" she asked as she approached, crouching down when she got close enough, resting her arms on his knees. She didn't know whether she was any good at helping people, but Elly had come to her too recently and she felt like she was becoming some sort of advice guru for the older Gryffindors. "Is it that boy again?" she asked, knowing he'd been sad in the arts room too when they'd met.
 
Onyx startled a little when he heard a voice, looking up with wide eyes to see Isla. "Izzy," He breathed, scooting forward and hugging her. "Yes and no," He managed quietly. "God, I'm so pathetic," He let out a choked laugh. "What's wrong with me, Izzy?" He asked, sniffling and trying not to break down completely.
 
Isla wrapped her arms round his neck as Onyx hugged her, "What's going on?" she asked, swiping at his face when they pulled back to clear away the tears. "There's nothing wrong with you stupid," she added, looking into his eyes as much as she could. "This is why relationships are dumb okay. Everyone just gets hurt eventually." The fourth year took a seat beside him, brushing the hair out of her eyes. "Your ex let you go, it's his loss okay. You'll find someone else worth your time that actually cares."
 
Onyx leaned into her touch, curling up against her side as she leaned back against the tree. He shook his head, looking away. "That's just it though- no one will. I messed up, Izzy. There was another guy- he was really really cute, and I thought he would be safe because one of my sister's friends, a really sweet girl, she just absolutely adores him and is always going on about how kind and sweet he is. I just- I tried to flirt with him, and for a minute it was going really well, I thought he was going to kiss me- but I'm pathetic, I don't know what I did wrong, but he just- he got so mad,"

Onyx brushed his hands through his hair. "I was so mortified, I messed up so bad... and then... with the duels..." He bit his lip, curling in closer on himself. "I snuck in to watch my ex. I doubt anyone saw me there. I just... wanted to be supportive, you know? I love him. I hate myself for it, but I do, and... Chrysander's first duel was with the other boy. I... I found out about Chrys seeing other people because I caught him with that guy, and I know flirting later was stupid, I shouldn't have, I just- I just wanted the attention, and I just- god, I'm so pathetic Izzy." He sniffed, the tears more intense. "They kissed. In front of the whole school. I left, I couldn't... I couldn't take it. I feel like I'm being ripped apart without Chrys, and he's just- just kissing cute guys in front of the entire school, and I can't even- I can't even flirt properly." He buried his face in his arms, trying to hide as he broke down again.
 
Isla listened and let Onyx go on about what was in his head. Honestly it all sounded like a mess, an even more complicated one that the Hufflepuff couldn't quite get her head around. She knew who Chrys was, she'd seen him around the common room but didn't realise that was who Onyx was talking about. As he told Isla about how the other guy he'd gone after suddenly got mad, she frowned, wondering what he could have done for things to turn upside down so quickly. Onyx had watched the duels, which was more than she could say herself despite the fact her brother had participated. She wasn't quite sure how well he'd gotten on but she didn't like the idea of duelling enough to bother attending. "What if that's why Chrys did it?" she said, thinking it was cruel to do something like that on stage with everyone watching. "What if, Chrys kissed that boy in the hopes it would hurt you. Did he know about the other guy?" she asked, curious to know whether Chrys was really just playing games with the heart of her friend.
 
Onyx shook his head. "No. Chrys didn't even know I was there. I doubt he's even thought about me since we broke up." He swiped at his face, even if it was pointless. "I caught them really getting into it in the student lounge, I thought if I stepped back and gave Chrys a little bit of room he would be happy, but he just- he got so mad, he tore me apart." He shook his head. "I just... I just wanted to feel wanted, you know, even if it was just for a minute, but I'm not... I'm not good enough. I wasn't enough for him and I wasn't enough to even keep Elio's attention for more than two minutes. And the duel- they were so good together, Chrys has always been so magnetic, but god, I almost thought they were going to start making out in front of everyone." He shook his head, tangling his hands in his hair.
 
Isla was more confused when Onyx said Chrys hadn't known about him or that he was there, so maybe that wasn't it. The Hufflepuff wasn't sure what to suggest. As Onyx kept talking about not being good enough, her found one of his, squeezing it tightly as though that would have done something to help. It was true Isla didn't make friends very often but it was clear that Onyx needed someone to turn to right now, and she was strangely glad that her presence was needed. "What?" she said, almost not catching the last part of what he'd said. "That was Elio?" she asked, a small smile appearing on her face and she had to turn away and cover her mouth with her free hand, "oh jesus." Just to throw that into the mix, she now had images of her brother up on stage with Chrys, and she did not want to think about what had gone on in the student lounge. She knew Elly had issues of his own at the moment, she'd been the one to tell him to go and find himself after all, but she hadn't thought he'd take on to that quite so quickly.
 
Onyx had just moved to intertwine his fingers with hers when she spoke, and he looked to her, brow furrowing a little with the way she spoke. He unintentionally drew his hand back, confused. "W-what? I... yes? He... he kinda flirted a little with me before and... and Ava just says he's the sweetest person ever, I thought..." He shook his head, looking away and drawing his knees closer to his chest. He swiped his sleeve over his face, looking at her through his hair. "W-why?" He was almost hesitant to ask.
 
"What are you doing?" she asked, looking as he moved away from her. She retook his hand as she looked back to Onyx. "I have.. no idea who Ava is," she admitted, although it wasn't a surprise, she didn't know many people in the school and she wasn't someone Elly had told her about. Onyx almost looked nervous at her reaction, although really the only way she could put his mind at rest was to tell him the truth. "I don't usually tell people this. Not unless it comes up," she sighed, knowing that the moment Onyx found out she expected it to change the dynamic of their friendship. "My name is Isla.. Zephyr." she said, looking at him closely for his reaction. "Elio's my brother." She hated people knowing that, because then she had to live up to some kind of expectation. Elio was better off without her holding him back, and she didn't need to be compared to him either thank you very much.
 
Onyx relaxed as Izzy took his hand again, cuddling back up against her side. He shrugged when she said she didn't know Ava. "She's really bright and bubbly with crazy curly blond hair. She's one of Elio's classmates." He explained softly, though he wasn't sure if it mattered. His eyes widened as she said she was Zephyr's sister, and he brought his other hand up over his mouth. "I'm so sorry," He gasped out. "I didn't mean to- I've been going on about- I'm so sorry, please don't be mad at me," He pleaded softly, more worried she would be upset with what he'd said about Elio and the things he'd done- or not done- with her brother than he was about them actually being siblings.
 
Isla tried to picture who Onyx was talking about, and while there was a girl she could think of that she'd seen around the arts room, the Hufflepuff didn't know if it was the same Ava. "Elio and I don't really.. talk much." she explained, hoping it would make sense that he didn't really know who his friends were. "I recently found out about Rowan? And I knew about Marco, but that's all," she shrugged. In all honesty she was glad to keep it that way for the time being. "Of course I'm not mad at you, it was just a bit unexpected, that's all. Doubt he'd told anyone about me either so I don't think many people know." The fourth year didn't mind, at least not on the surface. She'd become used to being overlooked by Elio and didn't expect that to change any time soon. "Whatever is going on between Chrys and Elio, I doubt it will come to much," Isla didn't know much about her brother these days, but after their talk recently it was clear that Elio didn't really know what he wanted.
 
Onyx relaxed visibly as she said she wasn't mad at him. He curled up against her side, sniffling. "I don't expect it to be anything," He shrugged. "Chrys doesn't... he never wants anything serious." He let out a choked laugh. "That's the entire issue. I was and he wasn't. I wanted a future, Izzy, I wanted it to be me and him for a really long time. I wanted an apartment, a life. And he... wanted everyone but me." He swiped at the tears again, calming down as he relaxed into the warmth of her side. "It's not fair... I just want to be someone's kitty. I want to be petted and loved and have a pretty collar," He sighed, shutting his eyes and sniffling.
 
Isla got what he meant, but thought it was a bit strange that someone would already want that in their life. "You're only.." she began, suddenly realising she actually had no idea how old Onyx was. Was he in Elio's year or older? "You're young okay, you can have all of that, but why is it important you have that now?" she asked him, leaning her head against his. She didn't understand the pet reference so much as maybe he just wanted someone to look after him. Isla had been by herself her whole life and didn't really know anything different than looking after herself. "Right now you can do anything you want to. No ties, nothing. And one day you can do all that stuff, but, why not just make the most of being wild while you can?" she asked, only realising after she said it that actually it wasn't a bad analogy of independence, if Onyx wanted to see it that way.
 
Onyx stayed curled up against her, running his fingers over the back of her arm lightly. "I'm almost 17." He told her softly. "I'm in sixth year." He sighed. "My parents died when I was little. My sister and I are twins and we were separated. We lost her for years because of my aunt. I went to my uncle. He's a photographer for a travel magazine." Onyx bit his lip. "I saw the world traveling with him. He did his best, and I adore him, but I... I've always been alone. We only adopted my sister in third year. I've spent all my life alone, taking care of myself. I just... I don't want to be alone anymore." He admitted softly.
 
So, he was a little older than Elio. Hearing about Onyx's past though made her feel sorry for him, he'd never really had anything stable, even his sister he'd been separated from. Isla knew hers hadn't been easy either but at least it had always been consistent. "Really?" she asked, thinking about his uncle and the uncanny resemblance he had to Elly. Isla didn't think it would do well to tell Onyx that Elio was also a photographer that planned to travel after Hogwarts, thinking it probably wouldn't help. "You're not alone." she said quietly. Isla of course wasn't going to be everything Onyx needed, but that didn't mean that he had to figure it all out by himself. Isla knew what it felt like to be disregarded by most, "Look I get it. I've spent my whole life in Elio's shadow. Even my parents would over look me because he would always do things bigger, or better. Until you, I had no friends here." she admitted, looking towards him, "But that doesn't mean you have to lower your standards to meet someone," she added, turning in her seat to face him properly, she needed him to understand. "Most.. boys, and girls really, they're stupid. Yeah there's exceptions but it's rare." At least that was the case in Isla's experience, "most people only care about themselves. That's what I meant when I said you have to make yourself valuable. Make yourself the best version of yourself so that when someone does come along, they'll see you for who you are, not what they want from you." Isla didn't have her own history of this so much it was things she'd overheard people talking about. She was good at listening. "Onyx, you're like the coolest person here, and trust me I don't say that a lot okay. But you can't just go after anybody because you don't want to be on you're own, and Chrys certainly sounds like an anybody if he can't see that," she said, swiping some hair out of his face.
 
Onyx listened to Isla, paying close attention. He leaned into her touch, shutting his eyes. Without thinking, he started to purr softly. He just felt really... Safe, in that moment. After several moments he opened his eyes, no longer crying though his eyes still shimmered with unshed tears. "It might not mean much but I think you're pretty special." He told her softly. "I just... Don't know what you see in me. I'm not bold. I'm not really good at anything. I just... Know how to rock eyeliner and blood red lipstick," he joked lightly.
 
Isla's hand at some point had found its way to Onyx's hair, gently stroking his jet black locks as she spoke, eyes watching him closely just listening. Honestly she'd never found anyone who seemed to trust her as openly as the Gryffindor did. Isla found herself wanting to help him, and it wasn't just because of their shared interest in music. The fourth year chuckled to herself, "Yeah you do," it was true and she was a little envious about how well he could apply both, "You have to be bold, you just have to be yourself," Isla wasn't a fan of pretending to be anyone she wasn't. She knew she wasn't to most people's liking but she was too far beyond the point of caring. "Hey if I can make a friend, you'll have millions," the brunette smiled, knowing that Onyx was far more outgoing and far more friendly than she ever would be.
 
Onyx sighed softly, readjusting so his head was in Isla's lap. He shut his eyes, running his thumb lightly along her knee. "Don't be so sure," He murmured. "I've always been alone, Iz. Everytime I've tried to be close to someone, it always ends badly. Chrys was the first person that saw past my sister to me," he smirked a little, hating himself. "And I managed to ruin that pretty good." He turned, looking up at Isla. "Are... you going to leave me, too, Izzy? I'm dramatic and clingy... I'm... worried you'll decide I'm too much trouble." He looked up at her sadly.
 

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