Thinking back to Hoggies

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

The madness that was the Yule Ball had finally ended, and for some reason it seemed like it was a tabooed topic of conversation, so Abbey more then willingly did not bring it up. As much fun as she had with Theodore that night, it did remind her that she would be away from one of her closest friends over the break. She had been to Bulgaria for a little more then six hours, and found out that she had a family, the Lorka's or something of the sort.

They were not willing to adopt her into their family, which seemed quite wealthy, and Abigail assumed this was because of what she had said to some complete stranger, on the day of her trip. Could she help it that he had brought up a touchy subject? Could she help it that she had snapped at him? Him being Hadan's grandfather.

Abbey let out a bewildered sigh as she walked aimlessly. She was so confused, and all she wanted to do was to be with her sister, to have some sort of comfort, but she could see that that was not going to happen. Asher was never coming back, and Abbey would have to live on the streets with Alex Cullen. Who was a kind boy, but she really didn't want to live on the streets.

She blinked her eyes, as they were greeted by bright golds and silvers. When her eyes had adjusted to the lustrous objects she scowled, seeing that she was in the trophy room. The young girl quickly remembered everything that had happened with her sister in the trophy room back at Hogwarts Scotland.

Two violet eyed girls walked along, and the taller of the two stopped short, spotted yet another violet eyed woman, the two both knew to be their mother. Abbey's heart skipped a few beats as they saw the young images of their father and mother holding up the quidditch cup, basking in the glory with their team mates. The girl's father holding a snitch in his hand and her mother with a beater's bat in the hand that was not firmly grasped on the cup.

The two girl's exchanged a few words before the youngest, and more foolish of the two wiped her wand out and opened the lock with a charm she had learned. And reached into the now opened trophy case to take the picture before the graceful, sisterly, almost motherly girl grabbed the picture from her sister's hands and said, "Don't they'll know something's missing if we just take it." She tapped her wand on the photo while murmuring a word the younger girl swore she would learn when the time came up. Another one of the magical images appeared and then Asher Lurken switched the images with a cool smirk.

Abbey's heart dropped at the memory, almost instinctively taking the image of her parents out of her pocket. She walked over to a wall and sat down silently. Just looking at the joyful images of her parents. It was clearer now that Abbey had inherited her father's looks and attitude, and only the eyes of her mother.

As she looked at the photo, placed neatly in her hands she heard footsteps come her way. Abbey's stomach churned and she flicked her violet eyes over to the left side of the corridor, which was the way she had been headed, hoping who ever it was, was not going to join her.

sorry.. lame ^^

 

[Willow Holland]

Alex Cullen was exsactly her problem. He had forced Willow to dance with him in the first floor corrior. She had finally caved when she realized that she couldn't beat him. Willow was so mad! She shook her head. Willow needed to cool off. Not that it would that hard. She could empty out of emotions just as easyly as she could empty a cup now adays. Willow ran though the library of songs in her head and picked the one that she thought was most suited for herself. She started to hum. "I see the doors that I can't open, adding locks from time to time."

Willow dragged her feet though the trophy room, her eyes slipping over all the all the cups and things that could have very well been her's in a previose life. A life where she had been happy. A life where she had a family. Not a whole one but she had never known her father. One could not miss what one never had. Willow moved though the Trophy room her voice no louder than a mummer. When it opens something blocks me, and I'm asking myself why, Did I take the step I wanted, was it just a state of mind, I feel sorry for myself evey time I close my eyes.

The last words rang true. Willow on some level blamed herself for all that happened. If she had been stronger, if she had been smarter, if she had been better than she was at the moment her mother would still be alive. Willow put her hands in her large from pocket and started to move a little to the beat in her head then she cought sight of a small girl. She knew that girl they had become friends this year. Sharing in tragity. "And I fall into a hole and I can take no more, and I fall into a hole and I can take no more" She murmered the last part as she leaned on the glass looking at Abbey. She was waiting for Abbey to say something to her. If she said nothing than Willow would be on her way know that she much like herself did not want to talk at the moment.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey looked up at her friend, Willow Paradox and forced a weak smile. "Hello Willow," she said with a raspy tone to her voice, swallowing her pain as much as she possibly could. When she had regained control over herself she looked over Willow with distance in her eyes. If I become close to someone they leave, she had decided the night earlier, laying on her bed, but not sleeping, she wasn't sleeping, and the small bags under her eyes showed it.

Abbey looked down at the photo once more, through cold, frustrated eyes and emotions. Finding only hatred towards her dead parents, hatred in the fact that they had died, she was mad that they had left her and her sister to fend for themselves. That they had left her because they had loyalty towards some man that had been dead before they were in school.

She put the image away and glared at the trophies behind Willow, as she waited for the girl's response. Her breathing became more labored as more angered thoughts came upon her. It's their fault I have to steal, it's their fault I was abused, it's their fault I'm living on the street, it's their fault I'm scared all the time, it's their fault I can't sleep.. She glanced over at Willow and mumbled, "Happy Holidays."

Yeah right, happy holidays, I swear to god! she thought as the meaningless words were uttered. Her cold eyes hit the floor, and they burned as she waited for some sarcastic remark to come from Willow, almost daring her to say anything. Abbey was not in a good mood, she hated holidays, in fact there were very few things she liked now. She had adored music, but it just became another sound in her bleak life, it brought no joy to her any longer, nothing did.

wow.. wrong there/their/they're 's eh?

 

[Willow Holland]

Willow only gave Abbey as side smile. It was rare for Willow to smile fully. She couldn't fake it like Abbey could. She had been alone because she hated what she had become. An empty shell of a girl that didn't even blush when a boy wanted to have contact with her. Eveything was meaning less, poinless, lost. "You know just as well as I do that the only thing happy about theis holidays is that we don't have to go to a home neather one of us has." She said in her monotone of a voice.

Abbey may not have had a phisical home but Willow had no home for her heart. She was left wondering in her dispare. Her aunt's house wasn't a home, it was a place for her to stay. Hogwarts as warm and inviting as it was even in the winter months was not her home. She would have to leave it as soon as she finished her seventh year. If they got that long. "As you probobly have heard music has become my only refuge. If you have talked to Brandon that is." She said agian her voice a monotone. She was starting to hate it when she head it comeing out of her own mouth. She wanted something with some sort of emotion to it.

"What's behind the door I wonder, Must be brighter than my past, Will I feel a little diffrent when I take myself across, was it really worth the jorne, was it just a foolish task, I feel sorry for myself every time I open up my eyes." She actually sang out loud. It was better than her drown of a voice. Willow stood for a moment looking at Abbey. Her disparing brown eyes seeming to study the girl she called her best friend. "I will be seeing you I soppes unless you want me to stay in which case I will. Don't worry I wont sing the rest of the song if you don't want me to. I just needed a brake from my emotionless voice. I think we all do." She said.

Willow scraped her feet as she moved from the glass. She knew it wouldn't brake but really it was starting to hurt her back. She could see that Abbey much like herself had decided that if they didn't get close to anyone then no one would hurt them. It seemed to be working. For her anyway. Abbey looked like she needed someone. Again her sharp eyes caught the signs of missing sleep. All Willow could do was sleep and hope that when she woke all this would have been a nightmare. Only to have those hope dashed with the light of morning.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey rolled her eyes, as if she didn't know what Willow was talking about, when in reality she knew all too well, they both knew that they were acting, but they both knew that they had to do this. Other wise other children might be a little scared of reality, she thought coldly, almost mockingly. "I haven't spoken to Brandon in a little while," she murmured in response.

She looked up at Willow as she sang, faking another smile and then continued in a monotone, "And I fall into a hole and I take no more..." Abbey's few words seemed to drag on forever, even after she stopped speaking. She pulled her legs up as Willow spoke, and responded with, "If you'd like to stay.. stay, if not.. go." Misery may like company, but I'm not miserable, I'm lost, she thought boredly.

 

[Willow Holland]

Willow gave another half smile. She slid down the glass to take a seat on the cold stone floor. "So you know the song. Seems fitting for the moment don't you think?" She said giving a bit of a hollow laugh. "Others may not see though our fake smiles we give every day but we can't lie to each other. No matter how hard we try." She said looking up. Willow pulled one leg up against her while leaving the other out streatched.

Willow let her eyes slip from glittering gold to suttle sliver with little emotion in her eyes. "Ever wonder when it was exsactly when this was all we wanted? The trophies I mean. I remember wanting more than anything to win the house cup for my house. It may only have been last year but it seems like a life time ago." She said her voice becoming more of a sigh. Abbey could listen or not, she didn't care. It was what was going though her mind at the moment. She didn't often have anyone to talk to so having Abbey here to be ther even if her words where falling on deaf ears was a welcome change.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey shrugged her shoulders coolly at Willow's obvious statement. "Of course we can't, only some one in the same state is completely aware to others in it, that hollowness isn't something one can easily hide," she muttered distantly. She then blinked at Willow's next words, then smirked and rolled her eyes once more.

"I remember thinking that if I did exactly what my parents did they would be proud of me even though they're dead, silly dream, is it not?" She responded with a sigh, feeling the weight of the photo in her pocket. It felt heavy, it seemed so heavy to her, that she thought that if she was in the water it would surely drown her. Abbey's dull eyes looked down at the pocket that held her photo and glared coldly at it, as if she was yelling at her parents, as if they knew what they were at fault for, because they had died. If a baby can survive the killing curse you'd think two fully able Death Eaters could have, she thought angrily.

 

[Willow Holland]

Willow stuck a hand in her pocket and took out something that she had been carring with her since she set foot in Hogwarts. "What's silly is keeping a hold of a ring that doesn't fit only because it reminds you of the person that you want back the most." She said putting the ring on her forefinger. Even then it was too big for her thin hands. Willow had not been eating much. "It was my mother's. Her mother gave it to her when she became the right age and it would have gone to me when I turned fifteen." She said looking at the spanish inscription that was almost faided with age.

"She will never see it. Like yours will never see that look you giving whatever is in your pocket." Willow said. Willow let her eyes slip from the ring she had been staring at to Abbey again. "Do you hate me again?" She asked. It was that smirk that made her ask that. The smirk that made her feel like Abbey thought she was better than her even when they both attended Hogwarts Scotland. It was that smirk that made Willow want to back make her scream and laugh. So loosen some of what made her seem so stiff and set in her ways. It almost made Willow laugh again.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey's smiled gently at Willow's words, it was really...nice.. just nice though. She reached into her pocket and took out the photo of her parents and explained lamely, "It's a photo of my Mom and Dad when they were in their 7th year, Asher and I found it last year."

Abbey let out a soft sigh, then raised her eye brows at Willow's question. "That was a little random no?" she asked rhetorically. "No, I don't hate you, and I didn't before, I was just annoyed with you," she said bluntly and crossed her arms against her chest and shrugged softly, not really caring what was to happen next.

so lame.. sorry

 

[Willow Holland]

It's ok.

Willow gave Abbey one of her half smiles. "I must have doens of pictures of my mother and I. I don't have even one of my father. One would think that my mother had breed by herself by how he's not been in any of my life. Your lucky to have had parents that seemed to have loved each other." She said looked at the picture. Willow shrugged.

"I only asked because you where giving me that lemon sucking smirk again. Like you would rather be anywhere else than in my presence." She said looking away. Willow was being honest. She didn't care anymore what reactions people had to it, her words just came out of her mouth like that. This was one of the resons that she ended up keeping her mouth shut most of the time.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey decided that she would not respond to Willow's words about their parents, she didn't like being on this subject. Besides she had more recent things to think about. "I've just got a lot on my mind, and to be honest they aren't as trivial as winning the house cup," Abbey said with a shrug.

"I found out that I have two cousins at this school, I've met one of them, he's in our year and in your house," she murmured delicately. "Not very nice," she added with a shrug, it really didn't matter to Abbey if he was a jerk or not, she didn't want to be in the Lorka family. Not if they stayed around Asparuh's family. Should be interesting when Hadan get's back, she thought with another roll of her eyes.

 

[Willow Holland]

Willow looked to the side. "A Gryffendor that seems out of place. You would be talking about the Lorka boy would you? I met him once. I would rather be stabbed with a guitar pick than meet him again." She said her voice cool now. Not out any particular dislike for the boy but because tired of the monotone. She was trying to brake it. Willow placed her head on her knee.

"I know what you mean. The house cup and any of the school activities seem so small now. I'm sure you went to the Yule Ball though. And I bet anything that the Snow boy asked you." She said moving her head form side to side slightly. She would have gone maybe. No it just wasn't her thing. She would have liked to be on stage once upon a time but that too seemed like so long ago.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey nodded her head once and said, "Yeah.. " She rolled her eyes at the memory of the boy, she hated him a lot. "I yelled at one of my friend's Grandfather when I was away as well," she added anxiously as she looked on the ground, she felt bad about it but she stood by her words.

She nodded her head when Willow asked her if she went to the Yule Ball with Theodore. "He's sweet," she said gently. Abbey shrugged her shoulders gently and said, "I would've gone up to the North Tower to find you but I was having a decent time with him." That's a bit of an understatement, she thought with a smile.

 

[Willow Holland]

Willow shrugged. "I still say that you could have gone to the house my aunt bought. I'm sure that it's been empty for months now. I had to stay, Penelope sent me a letter saying she had business to take care of and that I had to spend the winter here. I don't care." Willow said her voice sounding hollow again. She couldn't put all of what she felt for her aunt into her speech. She hated the woman so much that she feared making something explode if she did.

Willow shook her head. "How did the friend take it? Yelling at her grandfather I mean. It couldn't have been a pretty picture." She said trying to imagen what it would have been like. She would have probably just stormed out before her words got her in trouble. That what she did at her house when ever Penelope and her where in the same room. More often than not things got as far as trying to curse each other. They spells missed because of the strange Paradox family protection that made it impossible for another Paradox to do damage to another. She gave Abbey as side smile. It was the best she could offer as a way of showing that she was happy that her friend had a good time. "Brandon showed up so it's no big deal." She said shrugging her shoulders. Brandon was a good guy she had concluded that night. A bit arrogant but good.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey shrugged her shoulders gently and said, "I was originally going to stay here." She shrugged gently then said, "Not sure, I asked my Aunt to bring me back to Hogwarts before she reacted to it. I think her Grandfather is a Death Eater because he knew my parents, and then I got a little defensive about the whole thing." She smiled sheepishly and looked down until Willow mentioned Brandon. "Brandon's great isn't he?" she asked nicely. She quite enjoyed his company, and wanted to see him soon, she decided she would go find him later. "I saw that he went with some girl, do you know who?" she asked curiously. She smiled, Brandon was like her brother.

 

[Willow Holland]

Willow raised an eyebrow. "If it was about your parents I can imagen your reaction being like mind when someone says they know my family. Not good. Either way I'm sure it will pass with whatever time you give her. Things like this always do for people that don't understand." She said looking up. The subject turned and Willow allowed herself another half smile.

Brandon had managed to make her laugh. She could have seen herself liking a guy like that in another life. Now he was just a good friend. A good guy. "No he wouldn't tell me. But I know that things didn't go to well with her. He came to the North Tower looking little distraught. We talked, he walked in on me singing again. I think he likes it though." Willow said again there was a half smile on her face.

 

[Abigail Lurken-Mckay]

Abbey shrugged her shoulders deciding not to make a response on the whole Hadan issue, then she gently smiled as Willow spoke about Brandon, truth be told Abbey thought they would be good together. But she knew that Willow wouldn't date, at least not now, it was too early, and Abbey knew this, though she wasn't dating anyone for a way different reason. "Hmm.. I'll have to go find him later," she murmured thoughtfully, wondering what exactly happened with the girl.

 

[Willow Holland]

Willow nodded. "Maybe you can get him to tell you what really happened. Use some of that Lurken charm to get Brandon to talk." She said joking but the note of hummer was not in her voice. Willow looked off to the side again. Why did she think of Brandon in this state? Surely there where few people in the world that could understand what she was feeling even if it was to early in her life to even think of such things. With that Willow got up. Her butt was starting to go numb and she felt like wondering again. "I'll be seeing you around I guess. Keep safe Abbey. You know you can come to me with things right?" She said. In that in enigmatic note. Willow started to walk out of the Trophy room. She made her feet scrap across the floor as she walked. A different song was going though her head but this time she didn't sing it.