Closed The Secret Problem

[Miles Flynn]

Miles had been pacing back and forth for most of the afternoon after fleeing from his first Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson, frantically trying to work out what he was going to do. He didn't want to just hide and drop the class, he wanted to learn all kinds of magic and learn how to duel better, and he knew the class would be essential for that. But his fear was taking over, the overwhelming anxiety and constant voice in the back of his head that everyone was going to find out about his lycanthropy, that everyone was going to think he was some kind of freak and a monster. Eventually, he came to the conclusion that he couldn't just ignore the problem, and was going to have to talk to Professor Adler about it.

Which was why he now found himself loitering just outside her office, desperately trying to work up the courage to knock on the door. Maybe he was just being foolish, but he didn't like the idea of more people knowing about his condition. It was bad enough to have Professor Cade and the Headmaster and school nurses knowing about it, but Professor Adler would be the first person he had actually told about it himself. And that thought just worried him. But he knew he couldn't just stand there all evening, uncomfortably swallowing the lump in his throat as he just bit the bullet, quickly reaching out an arm and rapping on the door before he could once again talk himself out of it.

 

[Professor Geovanna Adler-Cade]

Geo was pleased with how her classes were going so far. Asides from her fourth years, her previous students were now aware she was back to stay and she more than excited to be able to get to know them and their journeys in more detail. The woman had been in her office, making the final changes to the room to make it her own, although seeing it without Noel's items in there had been strange at first. Hearing a knock at the door, the professor turned her head to glance in the direction of the sound, "Come in!" the door opening at she spoke. Behind it, one of her third years that she'd seen earlier in the day. "Hi Miles," she greeted the Gryffindor, setting down the photo frame on the now cleared shelf in her office and heading across the room. "How can I help?" she asked, beckoning him in.

 

[Miles Flynn]

Miles very nearly jumped when the door opened. He had been secretly hoping that no one was in, but it appeared as though he wasn't going to get his wish. And so, swallowing once again, Miles awkwardly shuffled through the door, rather quick to close it behind him in case anyone happened to be watching. The last thing he wanted was any... questions. "I, um, I need to..." he trailed off, clenching his hands stiffly by his sides to try and stop them from shaking so much.

Just man up and do it.

"I need to tell you something important. It's about the next lesson. I need to skip it. Or anything, I just... I'm scared because-" A big breath in to remind himself to breathe, fully aware that he probably sounded completely delusional right about now. "I just can't be in that classroom next week. I just can't. Because I don't want to know what my classmates really think about werewolves. About... what they think about me. Because I sort of haven't told anyone yet that... thatimawerewolf." The words kind of tumbled out of his mouth, squeezing his eyes closed because he was too scared to even see the reaction the Professor might even have to that sudden bombshell.

 

[Professor Geovanna Adler-Cade]

It didn't take a genius to know that whatever Miles wanted to tell her, he was uncomfortable in doing so. He looked agitated as he stood in front of the door, as though he was willing himself to take the plunge. Professor Adler didn't push him, he'd already come this far, he just had to make it over the final hurdle. Instead the woman waited calmly, knowing that whatever was about to come out of the third year's mouth was likely going to need a thoughtful response on her behalf.

As Miles tried to tell her he needed to skip their next class, Geo tried not to give away with her expression that she was confused. They were learning about werewolves, so why would he... oh. The blonde twigged what was going on before the Gryffindor had even explained himself. The professor relaxed her shoulders, and by the time Miles told her his secret she was nodding, offering him a seat at her desk before sliding into the one opposite herself.

Geo had known a few werewolves in her time, although that didn't mean she knew what it was like to be present in a lesson while others spoke about her. Even as a Metamorphmagus, Geo didn't have the same challenges as someone who had no control over their abilities. "Sit down Miles," she said, not unkindly, pouring him a small cup of tea and pushing it across the desk towards him. That's what professors did, at least the ones that had helped her when she was a student at the school. They'd been kind to her. "Do you know why we study werewolves?" she asked him, hoping that she'd be able to show him there was a reason they did what they did in class, and to give him a different perspective on the topic.

 

[Miles Flynn]

It felt as though his heart was going to beat right out of his chest, hands all sweaty and fingers starting to hurt from how hard he was clenching his fist. It was the first time since coming to Hogwarts he had openly admitted to anyone what he was. The big secret he'd been keeping deep and buried was finally coming to light. Though not really by his own choice. Because what choice did he have but to finally admit what he was? His friends weren't stupid, the Professor wasn't stupid, they were likely going to work it out. His secret couldn't stay a secret for much longer, no matter how desperately he wanted it to.

Finally opening an eye, he let out the breath he had been holding in as he was asked to sit. Somehow he managed to will his legs into moving, back straight as he stiffly lowered himself into the empty seat offered to him. He didn't move for the tea, and didn't really mention he wasn't much a fan of tea. That wasn't important right now, instead, he sat there, still scared of what might be said at him.

And then, the question. "I know why it's important we learn about it," he mumbled, shifting uncomfortably somewhat in the chair, digging his nails into his knees. "People need to know about this kind of thing and the history and prejudices and how to defend against a werewolf and... stuff. But I just... I don't want people to look at my differently and treat me like some kind of freak." He also didn't really want anyone to find out in the first place, but it was getting a little too late for that. "And I'd rather not know what people might really think," he shifted his shoulders slightly, chewing anxiously on the inside of his cheek all the while. "I can't... I just can't face them."

 

[Professor Geovanna Adler-Cade]

Professor Adler listened as Miles told her of why it was he didn't want to be in her lesson, waiting until he'd finished explaining himself to speak. "I can't imagine what it's like to be sitting in that room, while others are discussing what you are," she began, looking at him straight in the eyes. "With everyone in that class, we all come from a different background. We have different opinions and different levels of understanding. When we learn about werewolves, yes, it's important that look at the history and how we can prepare ourselves, but it's also about how we can help." It wasn't always about the prevention. Sometimes it was about understanding, too.

"You have rare perspective. An insight into this that the rest of us don't," the woman continued. "Besides, carrying these genes of a lycanthrope doesn't define who you are." Geo needed to make sure that if Miles was going to stay in her lessons, it wasn't going to make him uncomfortable. While she may have wanted him to be part of the class, it would likely do more damage than good if she pushed him too hard. "By the end of these discussions in the next lesson, the goal is that students aren't just more equipped with information, but that they don't have a prejudice. Werewolves walk among us. You're proof of that. We just need to ensure that everyone understands that at any time this could be the case, and that everyone is ready to support werewolves if they do come across them," she gave the Gryffindor a raised brow. She wasn't going to say anything, if that's what concerned him too.

The professor sat back in her chair, thinking for a moment. "Is there anything.. you believe the students should know?" It was unusual, to have a werewolf in their class. Perhaps this was precisely why Geo needed to make the most of it if she wanted to get across to her third years that werewolves were just like everyone else, 95% of the time.

 

[Miles Flynn]

As the Professor tried to look in his eyes, Miles couldn't help but stare down into his lap to avoid her gaze however he could. He wanted to floor to just open up and swallow him whole. He wanted to stand and flee before it went any further. He just wanted to pretend this never happened and to hide under a rock until this all was over so he wouldn't have to face the possibility that people were going to find out. Because it didn't feel fair that he should have to face the possibility of someone working out what he was because they had learned about werewolves. He should be able to keep it a secret until he was ready to tell someone about it. (Though he knew he would probably never feel ready for that.)

"One lesson isn't going to change years of prejudice against werewolves if people already have opinions," if people already had it in their heads, then just one discussion wasn't going to change their minds. And he was scared of finding out if anyone he thought was his friend really thought he was some kind of monster. He already had a feeling he knew what Logan thought after the argument they had at the Halloween feast. Though, he did finally look up from his lap as the Professor insinuated she wasn't going to tell anyone. "You're not... going to mention it to anyone? Not that I think it matters," he added quietly, "People are going to work it out anyway with all the new information. They're going to find out what I am regardless of whether you mention it or not."

And then, a question. Was there anything he thought students should know? "I... I just..." his voice got quiet as he slouched slightly in his seat, "I don't think people should treat us any differently. I don't want pity or people feeling sorry about it. That doesn't help. We're just... like everyone else. I'm not some kind of monster just because I turn into a wolf every full moon, I can't change what I am even if I want to. I didn't choose this."

 

[Professor Geovanna Adler-Cade]

Geo knew he was right, at least in some cases. Not everyone was going to change their mind after one lesson although that didn't mean Geo didn't think it wasn't a good starting point. The lesson opened up the discussion in the first place, gave them the space to talk about it. The blonde shook her head, "It's not my information to share," if Miles wanted his classmates to know, she knew he'd be the one to tell them. She wasn't sure how accurate it was that someone would necessarily find out on their own either, but she didn't know enough about the subject to be able to confidently say as such. "Wouldn't be it be more obvious that something is up, if you didn't come to class?" If Miles didn't want to be treated differently, why should he be allowed the pass to not attend?

That being said, Geo still could understand that it would be a difficult few weeks ahead. "You are just like everyone else," the professor agreed. "I can make a point to the others in the class that that's the case, that those who are affected by this didn't choose to be this way," she already planned to tell them that didn't make them a monster, but it didn't hurt to reiterate. The woman sat a little taller in her chair. "If you really don't want to be there, you can skip week two." She told the Gryffindor, the alternatives swirling in her mind. "But I want an essay turned in by the end of the week, about how you can support werewolves." Miles would still earn himself an O if he put in the work outside the class. He wasn't the first student she was giving exceptions for after all. "I would prefer it if you attended, but the choice is yours."

 

[Miles Flynn]

He was starting to calm down just a little, though still couldn't really help the way he continually shifted back and forth in his seat. People always said that you felt better after getting things off your chest, but Miles couldn't really say he could agree with that statement. The fear was still there, lingering in the back of his head, and that was after just telling one person about this. And it was a Professor, he couldn't really imagine what it would be like to have to tell his friends. Though just thinking about that was making his heart beat a little faster and the worry really starting to make his stomach hurt. "I can just lie or something," he mumbled with a small shift of his shoulder, "That I wasn't feeling well and had to go to the Hospital Wing or something." Maybe not the best lie he could come up, but he thought it was pretty believable, and he'd probably be able to pass it off as the truth.

Probably.

Maybe there were werewolves out there who chose this, maybe they begged a werewolf to turn them. Then again, Miles didn't really think that anyone could actually want this. The constant tiredness, the mood swings around the full moon, having to worry about getting wolfsbane potion every month. Not to mention the prejudice and people assuming that you were some kind of monster. But there was relief as he was finally given permission to miss the second lesson, quickly followed by a small frown as he was asked to write some lame essay instead. "I just... I don't think I can sit there without freaking out and tipping everyone off," it was probably a lot safer if he steered clear of the classroom while any discussions about werewolves were going on. "I'll just write the essay."