Starved, famished, hungry for eachother... denial is a sad sad thing

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

She sighed with relief as their headmistress came as if to the rescue, if she clutched her stomach any tighter she was in grave danger of squeezing herself to death. Her head throbbed from the weakness that was beginning to steal over her, had she really been foolish enough to have so very little for breakfast. Professor Rambolt or Zhefarovich as she was now called took control of the situation quickly. Who else knew her better or knew what she was going through? She cast a smile in her direction not even managing the words 'thank you', yet why she had insisted on having Crispin escort her she seriously couldn't understand.

Not bothering to look at the remaining centaurs or her DADA professor who left to get Professor Lloyd and the other students back Andromeda moved on ahead in the direction of the kitchens. Not daring to look to see if Crispin was with her or not. Why fate seemed insistant on throwing them together despite his obvious need to be far away from her, she didn't know. And yet when she most needed him he was there, when she least needed him but seemed to think about him he was also there. Usually at a distance but it was always as if her very thoughts simply conjured him up. As another wave of contracting pain engulfed her innards, she groaned squeezing her eyes shut tight. If she didn't get some red meat soon she would probably pass out. The thought of just how she was supposed to eat it daintily, all lady like in front of him was beyond her. The house elves were used to her simply tearing through the slab of raw meat as if it were a jelly bean.

"You don't have to come the whole way, I'll be fine once I get to the kitchen" embarressment overwhelmed her as did everything else.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin followed the flamed haired young woman, his heart aching for her, his fingers itching to hold her close. Tell her that everything would be alright. Yet they both knew it would be a lie. So instead he walked with steady wide steps, the scent of the woods and roses drifting from her perfect skin. He would hold steady, not offer any more of himself than he had. She obviously did not need him as he needed her. He would have been content with his decision had she not begun showing signs of pain. As she groaned and held her stomach, spoke words to him, his mouth tightened, his jaw clenched.

Using his strength, he picked her up, arms beneath her knees and behind her back. His mismatched eyes dared her to say anything about it as he easily carried her slight form toward the kitchens. Staring straight ahead, he broke his silence. "I know Andy." His eyes cut to hers, then away again. "After we spoke in the prefects bathroom, I checked out every book in the library about werewolves. Spent hours in the restricted section." It was foolish, admitting this to her. He had wanted to know everything about her condition. His voice lowered, speaking steadily, almost gently. "I know you're hungry, I know about the raw meat." There was no revulsion in his voice or in his eyes.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda could barely take another step and suddenly she didn't have to. Crispin was effortlessly lifting her up in his arms and carrying her limb body towards the kitchens. Her arms slid about his neck as she leaned in closer to him than what was necessary but it wasn't just her hunger that was raging. Every hormone in her body was screaming for him she was merely grateful that she was too weak to do anything about it. His voice carried softly to her and she looked up in a daze at him.

He had checked out about werewolves, had gone back to the restricted section to find out all he could. Why would he do that? Then she remembered he was in seventh year and werewolves came up on the exam in DADA, hence the reason why she had to do the twenty questions routine in the class for the NEWT years. So he was well read for his exams, she was glad he had been able to concentrate on his studies because she certainly hadn't been able to. Her mind had let her think of nothing else, any essay she had started to write would invariably have to be scribbled out or scourgified to correct the many 'Crispin's ' she would end up unconciously doodling.

The fact that he knew didn't stem her embarressment though. She knew she was too weak to care how she ate the blasted stuff now but hoped he would at least turn away.
"Leave a girl some dignity anyhow will you?" she tried to smile but it seemed too much of an effort so instead let her head rest against his shoulder inhaling his heady scent and filling herself up on that. If he wasn't careful she would devour him straight after she got some decent protein into her system. He smelled much too good, indecently so.
"Won't Lily be wondering where you are?" her voice sounded weak and strained but she still had to ask, surely she would be around looking for him as soon as Professor Rowann returned with the other students.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin's eyes flicked toward her, confusion clear in them and in his tone as he spoke. "Why would she be?" He didn't have any prior arrangement for studying or flying with the Ravenclaw girl. His temple and jaw ached from setting his teeth together. Feeling her pressed against him, warm in his arms, heated his blood. With regret he set her on her feet at the entrance to the kitchen. Opening the door, he kept an arm lightly around waist until he was sure she was steady enough.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda left the whole Lily situation drop, she seriously didn't want to talk about his newest interest anyhow. She blushed remembering how they had kissed in the forest and was for once grateful that the centaurs had come. Goodness only knew what they might have done to one another had they been left alone in the dark any longer. They reached the door of the kitchen and she felt a shiver run through her as her overly heated body left his. Placing her feet first on solid ground he opened the door. Andromeda wanted nothing more than to lean back into him but clutched at the door to steady herself instead. She could feel his hand loosely about her waist and pride over shooting every other crazy mixed up emotion warring inside her, made her push his hand away as she walked in to the kitchen.

"I can manage now" her breathing was rasped and her speech heavy, her pupils were dilated now to tiny pin pricks. Sustenence seemed so close, she could smell it. Really she could and all but salivated as she lurched precariously towards the trestle table. One look at the house elf in front of her who all but resembled a funny shaped steak, made him shoot quickly to the fridge and return with the large slab of meat that they always had set aside for the werewolves. He didn't bother putting it onto a plate just clicked his fingers and let it appear in front of her. The kitchen quickly emptied of house elves going about other duties, they knew better than to hang around for feeding time at the zoo.

Andromeda fell on the paper that wrapped the meat and tore it off unceremoniously. Grasping the bloodied raw meat in both hands she sighed with the smell of it before biting effortlessly in. Blood dripped down her chin but she could careless, she felt the goodness filling her already and bit in again. She kept her back to Crispin fearful of the disgust she would see on his face as she savaged the piece of meat like the animal she was.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin withdrew from her, trying to give her the space she needed. His long fingers wrapped around the counter behind him, leaning back against it, head bowed slightly forward. He tried not to look, to not notice but it proved too hard. Blue and black eyes darted up to rest on her back, moving over her figure as she tore the bloody steak apart. Although he could not see her face, he was not repulsed nor disgusted. This was another facet of the young woman he loved, just another thing that she had to do in order to survive what the Fates had dealt her.

Knowledge, cold facts, flooded him. Now that they weren't in such close contact, his mind had cleared from the nearly animal urge to mate with her. Pheromones. Strong, potent and overwhelming. The scent of roses had rose potently to him in the forest because of the full moon. Andy couldn't help putting them off, nor could he help responding so strongly to them. Even now he fought the impulse to grab her by the arm and pull her close, to kiss her soft mouth. He stared at her, eyes dark shadows in his face, knuckles white from grasping the counter tightly.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Each morsel she devoured replenished her, her body began to feel invigorated so completely alive. Andromeda noted that this was the first time she had been left to go without food this long, even in Durmstrang they had fed her. Scraps sure but still it had sustained her somewhat but to be drained physically from hungar and too close to Crispin at the same time which ignited all her werewolf animalistic magnetism, she had felt so raw. So unbelievably primal. As the last morsel past her lips, masticated to a pulp and swallowed she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

She could feel the moons phase in the air, she had a few hours yet but still her body felt heightened, as if on def con alert. Keeping her back to Crispin she crumbled the paper and tossed it in the rubbish bin, as she made her way to the sink. Turning the tap she let the water run, watching the drops as if they fell in slow motion. The tinny sounding plop they made seemed to echo, reverberate about the room. Her senses were becoming heightened.

Placing her head beneath the dripping faucet she drank the clear liquid before splashing some on her face. Cupping her hands beneath she tossed more on her face then ran her hands, long supple fingers through her hair. A deep breath as she stood up straight again, turning the tap off. It was as if she could hear his very breath, feel the pressure of his knuckles as he squeezed the counter he leaned on. She had never been so aware of anyone in all her life. Slowly she turned around. Her amber eyes were so unbelievably vivid, almost golden. Andromeda could hear rather than feel the blood pumping around her body. Could feel the quickening of her heart as she looked at him. The heart wanted what the heart wanted.

She was not weak anymore, was unbelievably strong in every aspect as she walked towards him. What she wouldn't give to simply wipe Lily from his mind, from his heart.
"Why did you stay?" she asked him, moving still closer. His particular scent assailing her senses driving her almost insane with wanting. Biting her lower lip she felt as if any moment a purr would escape her. She wanted him, could feel it in every inch of her. She still had plenty of time before the moon rose to get to the cavern but she didn't think she could trust herself around him any longer and yet, the insatiable desire to be near him kept her there.

Andromeda was barely inches from him now. What was it about Crispin that made him so different from everyone else?
Why was it she wanted him so badly, like an itch she couldn't scratch, an ache she couldn't heal?
"The heart wants what the heart wants" not realizing she was speaking aloud as she looked at him, pure desire etched on her face, in her eyes.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin barely heard her words. Her nearness, her scent, her eyes burning into his, set him aflame with the undisclosed desires of his heart. "I stayed for you." The words tore from his throat, rough edged and dangerous. His eyes reflected the madness within him, madness that gripped him within its claws as the power surrounding her hit him like electricity, setting off his skin. A fine tremor began to shake his limbs. She'd never looked at him this way, approached him so freely. Not even that time by the lake; she had offered him her body, not fully there in that moment. Now though. His eyes closed, head lowered, fingers clenched painfully into the wooden counter.

He was in front of her before he knew what he was doing. Hands gripped the sides of her head, fingers buried in flame red hair, mouth fused hungrily to hers. Breathing her in, taking her into him, letting himself go; not thinking, only feeling, only being.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

"I stayed for you."
She heard his words and this time did not shy from them, no matter how she would have normally wanted to there was barely any of herself left. Andromeda was giving herself up to the rawness of her desires, the deepest instincts that had awakened within her. Her skin crawled with electricity, a vibrancy from being so close to him and no matter how close she strove to get, he broke the last teasing distance. His hands cupped her head, burned through her as if he were on fire. Feeling the slight tug through her hair she tilted her head back as his mouth scorched across hers.

Reaching up her fingers tangled with his jacket, pulling him closer. Needing him closer. He had not been disgusted by her, the brief thought that perhaps he had read all those werewolf books for her and not for studying entered her mind briefly but she squashed them all. No one had ever gone out of their way for her like that, no one had ever put her above and beyond. She would not believe now that someone would. She was still after all a monster. One that was tormented daily and nightly by the beauty of the young man before her.

Her hands stole up over his shoulders, clasping the back of his head as her mouth lay siege to him. Her hunger seemed to know no bounds. Her breathing becoming ragged, quick and necessary. Pulling her mouth from him she looked into his mismatched eyes with her almost feral ones. What was different about her now? Why did he want her today? She knew why and hated the reason yet could not resist him. He was driving her mad. She could still see him dancing with Lily, arms all over her as they gyrated together. Jealousy streaked painfully through her as she pulled him closer once more. Her mouth wanting to simply erase every thought of her from him, hungrily, wantonily but instead Andromeda kept her lips, her so perfect lips swollen from his kisses just above his mouth.

Ever so slowly she let her mouth brush his as one thought claimed her. She loved him. She didn't just love him, she had fallen like the dark angel from the graces of heaven. She had surely fallen hard and unconditionally, madly and deeply, truly in love for the first time in her young life. The thought sent it's own pleasurable shiver through her as her lips continued their slow dance across his beautiful mouth. Wanting to take every inch of this memory with her, for she knew that once away from him the effect she had would cease. Once the full moon was over, she would be 'normal' again and he would feel nothing for her, nothing probably but a revulsion for how he had behaved today.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Her eyes, beautiful molten gold, staring into his; matching his longing, his wanting. Crispin's breath left him in ragged bursts, his voice a tortured growl as her name escaped his kiss battered lips. In a switch that left him baffled, he felt the difference in her kiss, in the way her hands held his hair. His heart jumped, shuddered. Defenses lowered, he let it speak to her. I love you Andy. From the moment I first saw you, I knew you were mine, put in my path to heal my soul. You will be the one I'll always love. Everything he felt was mirrored in his eyes, in the way his mouth returned the slow, gentle carress of hers. His hands, large of palm, slim of finger, touched upon her flesh, handling her with the utmost care.

Degree by degree, inch by inch, the gentleness turned savage. His hands, once gentle on her, gripped her to him tightly. His mouth feasted on hers, starving for the contact.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

She heard her name, her name and no others from his mouth and dared, blatantly dared to believe that he cared for her. A tear etched its way forward, afraid of the emotions that were scaring, healing, destroying, validifying the hearts of the two teenagers. Gently it made it's lonesome journey down the pale cheek of its owner, knowing that its kin were flooding her very heart. Andromeda would either burst with complete happiness or drown in the sadness that would surely come. When was she ever allowed to simply enjoy such happiness?

His name tore from her as his hands gripped her tightly. The once gentle kisses turning savage. The tear drop was lost as only the slender streak of its passage was left to bear witness to it ever existing at all.
"Crispin" a throaty whisper as she leaned her forehead against his, fighting for breath into her starved lungs. Was love really this consuming? This aggressive? She kept her eyes closed, trying to calm her breathing but those precious seconds away from his lips felt like torture and cupping his beautiful face in her hands she kissed him again.

Every heartbeat now was strong and verile, potent and powerful. She could no more be gentle with him either, her hands sliding down to grip the front of his jacket once again she all but pushed him back against the counter. Her amber eyes flared dangerously as she looked at him, desire written all over her for him. Could she breath the words? Could she admit finally that she loved him? The thought made her stand back, her hands still holding his jacket. As if they were alien to her she looked at them then quickly dropped them to her sides. Even there they felt all wrong, she clasped and unclasped them instead. If she bore her heart to him ... it was too much of a risk. One she wasn't ready to make. Her mouth opened to say something, anything.

Her gaze strayed to his mouth, to his hands, to his eyes. The loud pounding of her blood pulsing through her almost deafened her, another tear drop in search of its brethren fell morbidly down the same pathway its predessor had.
"I think I better get to the cavern".

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin felt the shift, could see something -a promise- in her golden eyes before tears began to fall and once more his arms were empty. Cold frustration hit him like an icy dagger in his chest, the feeling that he had just lost in a monumental way staggered him. Saddened him. Crushed him. He knew she desired him, wanted him. But the feeling was empty, as she did not love him. Not as he loved her. When would he stop destroying himself, stop letting disappointment fleck away at his flesh, at his soul.

As his hands rose, cupped her cheeks, thumbs brushing away the tears, he knew he would never stop loving her. Although it tortured him, this nearness, he came to the decision that he had to stay away from her. Had to stop tormenting himself with the promise of 'one day'. He wasn't even sure he could be simply a friend to her. It was too painful to look upon her and know that another had stolen her heart. Hands falling to his sides, he nodded.

"You should." His eyes searched hers, his laced with pain. "Goodbye Andy."

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

She wanted nothing more than to simply throw herself back into his arms but lust was not how she wanted to remember him with. Knowing that her feelings for him were as pure as the driven snow and his were built on longing meant they were invariably worlds apart. Even now their kissing had been hidden away in the depths of the empty kitchens, the house elves having fled. Once just once she would love to walk with him hand in hand outside in the bright sunshine, would love to kiss him as others passed by and know he wasn't embarrassed by who it was he was with.

His thumbs rubbed the tears away before he moved from her. His words were so final, so terrible for her heart to hear. Another tear fell.

"Goodbye Andy."
She opened her mouth to expel the pain that tightened her throat, willing every other tear to stay put until she was far enough away from him. He would never know and she could not tell him. This was it then? All there was left of them, never having a chance to properly begin. Andromeda zipped up her thin jacket and ran the back of her hand across her cheek quickly. She wouldn't mind being able to change into a werewolf tonight, anything was better than sitting in the cool cavern thinking about him. Moving to eventually stand just a few inches from his side she cast a glance his way, she didn't have to commit any of him to memory. She knew his face like it was her own.

She didn't know why perhaps it was the biggest cop out of her life but the words fell from her in Irish before she ran to the door of the kitchen, yanked it open and was gone.

"Slán mo chroí, mo ghrá"

Spoiler: translation

"Goodbye my heart, my love"

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin stood there, unable to move long after she left. Was that all there was for them? Stolen glances, heated kisses, nothing above the lust that had thrown them together hours before the full moon. Pain exploded within him until he felt he couldn't breathe. Ignoring the pitying glances of the curious house elfs who bustled into the kitchen, he left, fleeing to his dorm room. He wanted to be left alone, knowing he'd reflect on what had happened for hours until hopefully he would fall into a deep sleep. Crispin would be grateful when the sleep did finally come that night. He would not dream of her. He wouldn't dream of anything. When he awoke the next morning, her name on his lips, he wouldn't know that for the first time since he was nine years old, he had dreamed of a flame haired girl running toward him, a smile on her pink lips, love in her golden eyes. He would touch his face and stare in confusion at the tears coating his fingertips.