Save me from myself

[Taylor Mercer]

Continued from: I've never really liked you anyway.

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Taylor lifted her head off her knees and tentatively touched her eye. Hissing in pain, the Gryffindor moved her fingers away from the sore skin. Taylor wanted to cry, but the frustration dried up all her tears before they even thought about falling. She only had a single tear track on her face, that had skated down her cheek while she had been running. Glancing down the hall, Taylor was thankful there wasn't a student to be seen. She let her head fall back onto her knees again.

An image of Jenna popped into Taylor's head, laughing at her as she ran. Mocking her. Slipping away to latch herself onto Scorpius' arm. All the memories Taylor had of herself and Scorpius were suddenly flying around the Gryffindor's head, but instead of seeing herself, she saw Jenna in her place. Jenna in the Dungeons, exchanging gifts and taking moving pictures. Jenna in the Hospital Wing, with Scorp coming to see her every day. Jenna on the beach in Australia, Scorpius' lips on hers...

Taylor felt dizzy. She clenched her eyes shut to try and block out the images, but winced as her sore eye throbbed with pain at the action. The momentary distraction had allowed the thoughts to stop buzzing and Taylor huffed out a breath. These past months had been ridiculous. They say the first cut is the deepest, but Taylor felt as though she had been ripped in half. Scorpius, her Dad, Raffael, Hoshi, Avory, Jenna, the baby. Everything piled up and Taylor knew she had to snap eventually. She just didn't expect it would be over a rumour, or end in a black eye. She had isolated herself too much. Let herself dwell over the events too much. She just missed how things used to be too much.

 

[Sam Prince]

Sam hurried into the Great Hall in a slight frenzy, he didn't really know how he felt at that moment, it was a mixture of basically every emotion a fourteen year old boy could feel. Sam stood at the foot of the staircase that would lead him to the never-ending sets of stairways to corridors that wouldn't have Taylor in them. His best bet was that she was in her dorm, but being a guy and a Hufflepuff completely obliterated that option. Sam shook his head and took the stairs two at a time. He had been a horrible friend to Taylor all year but that didn't mean he couldn't mend that now, in the closing weeks of term. Sam arrived onto the first corridor. His blue eyes scanned the busy corridor looking for the blonde head of his friend. But she wasn't to be found. He continued his search and climbed the next stairway.

The comparision in this corridor and the first was incredible. It was silent and a meloncholic atomosphere filled the emptiness. Another difference was that there was just one person here. Taylor. Sam slowed his 'frantic-searching-walk' to a normal pace, he made sure to be quiet as he closed the gap between him and his friend. It pained him to see her like this, as a friend it was his duty to pull her through something like this, but he had barely spoken to the girl all year. Sam wanted to smack himself. He sat down slowly beside her without saying a word. He didn't think there was any words to say at a time like this. Nothing seemed to fit but silence. Sam wrapped an arm around her in a protective yet comforting way and still not a single word escaped his lips, he wasn't good with words, but being there for someone didn't necessarily require words. Sam just hoped that maybe it would be Taylor who would talk, he would be there to listen. As always.

 

[Taylor Mercer]

Taylor heard footsteps along the corridor. She curled herself tighter around her legs, hoping that she could sink into the wall and the person walking past wouldn't see her. But she had no such luck as the footsteps got closer. She didn't move, preparing herself to smile and say she was okay, but it turned out to be unnecessary as Taylor felt comforting arms wrap around her and she recognised the familiar scent of her best friend. Turning her head slightly and cracking open her good eye, the figure of Sam was confirmed.

"Sam I'm sorry." She said as she raised her head a little, but kept her eyes firmly on her knees. She shook her head as she continued, leaning into Sam's hug. "You always seem to catch me at really bad times." She attempted a laugh, but it was sad and weak. The last time she had spoken properly to Sam was when she had just broken up with Scorpius. She had been a mess and Sam had been there for her. Now she had punched two of his best friends and he was still here, even though the year had been hectic and they had rarely spoken. Taylor was surprised he wasn't with Jenna, why had he chosen to come after her instead of stay with the Hufflepuff? Taylor's questions dropped, not caring about Jenna, simply glad that the weight of Sam's arm rested comfortably around her. He had always been good at making Taylor feel better.

 

[Sam Prince]

Sam shook his head slowly as Taylor started to apoligise, "You don't have to apoligise. Well..at least not to me." He said in his soft velvet voice. Taylor apologizing to him was crazy, if anything it should have been him apologizing to Taylor. Or even better Taylor apologizing to Jenn and Jenn apologizing to Taylor, but these were teenage girls afterall and the chances of that happening were slim. Sam pulled Taylor closer into his hug, his warm hand rubbed her back soothingly. He couldn't believe that this was how bad things were with Taylor, if he had only known, he would have been up at Gryffindor Tower weeks ago. Sam smiled softly at Taylors words, "Only because you've been having really bad times." Sam said slowly, it was true, Taylor seemed to only have 'really bad times' this year and it certainly wasn't fair. Especially for it to happen to someone like Taylor.

"I'm sorry...I wasn't around more often." He said and rested his head on hers. It was his turn to apoligise and his apology was nothing but the truth. He didn't see how he could lie to her, how he could simply avoid the truth that he was a terrible friend to her. At times like these it was when she needed a friend most and Sam was most likely lazing about his dorm doing absolutely nothing. The guilt began to settle once more in the pit of his stomach, Sam almost wished that he stayed with Jenn so he wouldn't have to see Taylor like this. He knew that being here with her, was more important. He was still surprised at Jenn's casual attitude to the whole thing. It peeved him greatly that she didn't seem to care that she just punched a friend, well, his friend. Taylor and Jenn never seemed to have gotten on well. But that still didn't make it right, it still wasn't okay that the pair could just go around fighting. Sam was reminded that he still had to find out what had actually sparked off the whole fight, however as he looked down at Taylor; his arm wrapped around her body, his head perched comfortably on hers, he knew that it was far too soon to ask.

 

[Taylor Mercer]

Taylor took a deep breath as she was pulled further into the hug. She rested her head on Sam's chest and knew that he was right, that she should probably say sorry to Jenna. But Taylor knew she wouldn't be able to, because in truth she wasn't sorry yet, not when the images of her and Scorpius together were still rattling around in her brain, so apologising to Sam for catching her punching Jenn would be enough to satisfy her guilt for the time being.

Taylor's first and second year had gone much smoother than everyone else's had. Sam, Toni, Scorpius and even Jenna had been bombarded with drama and Taylor had escaped all of it. Even the little things like the Gossip Magazine couldn't bring her down. Maybe she was paying for that now? "So much for a drama-free year, right?" She said with another sad laugh.

When Sam apologised, Taylor furrowed her eyebrows together and went to look up at her friend, but felt his head on hers before she could manage. She sighed and let her arms slip around his waist, hugging the Hufflepuff tighter. Her frustration seemed to drain out of her, leaving only an empty dull ache in it's place. "Sam, it's not your fault. You don't have to apologise." She said softly, repeating his words. Sam was Taylor's first friend at Hogwarts and still the one that meant the most to her now, Taylor knew that they could not talk for years and still be as close as ever when they saw each other again.

She knew she should probably tell Sam why she had punched Jenna. Even if it sounded stupid, Sam would probably understand. He had been the only one she had spoken to about Scorpius and he had understood. She opened her mouth to speak, but realised at the last second that it was probably better to start at the beginning. "I punched Hoshi as well." She confessed, her arms around Sam tightening for a split second as the urge to pull her arms around herself and hide passed. She felt the back of her eyes sting with the desire to cry, but no tears came. "She's changed." Taylor said softly. "She insulted me, my house and Scorpius in one go. I snapped. And punching her felt good. It's horrible I know." Taylor shook her head, not sure she was making sense and feeling more ashamed saying it out loud to Sam than when she had done it. "And then Jenna..." Taylor trailed off, her eye throbbing momentarily, so she let her lids close. She would let the news about her fight with Hoshi sink in before she started on the crazy story that was today.

 

[Sam Prince]

Sam agreed with a nod and heaved out a heavy sigh, it was shocking that the group of friends couldn't make it a year without having any sort of drama. Sam stared at his knees in thought, maybe it was for the best that the group was falling apart? Maybe it was just the way things were supposed to be? It was a hard thought for Sam to come to terms with, knowing that in the future his 'best friends' would become just familiar faces in a crowd? Knowing that there was absolutely nothing he or anybody else could do about it? But Sam quickly changed his train of thought, he was with Taylor now and somehow he just had a feeling that he would always be close to her. Sam felt like he knew Taylor his whole life, Sam even seemed to feel close to Taylor when he first met her all those years ago. He didn't know what had kept them so close this whole time but he knew that it wasn't going away anytime soon.

Sam let silence settle into the corridor once more as Taylor repeated his words. He appreciated that she was so forgiving of his absence as a friend. He really counted himself lucky to have a friend like Taylor. When she broke the silence by diving straight into the confession of punching Hoshi, Sam had to laugh. It was short-lived and sort of inappropriate but it just came as a shock to Sam that Taylor had not only punched Jenna but Hoshi too. "Jeez, you're on fire!" Sam added in a light-hearted tone. Again, probably inappropriate but Sam could only laugh at a time like this. However he remained quiet as she continued to explain the reason why she punched Hoshi. It was a reason Sam could understand. Although it wasn't right for Taylor to have actually punched her, Sam understood why she did it. "I wouldn't say horrible.." He began as he tried to think of a word or words to replace it, "..its just.. unlike you." He finished. His tone of voice was gentle but had a hint of seriousness to it. "I honestly don't know who Hoshi is anymore." Sam said with a small shake of his head. He had noticed that change in Hoshi a long time ago and it tore him apart seeing her as this 'new' Hoshi. "And then Jenna." Sam repeated Taylors words as he lifted his head off of Taylors and leaned it against the cold wall.

 

[Taylor Mercer]

Taylor let out a genuine laugh at Sam's response to her punching Hoshi. She punched Sam lightly on the arm for the comment, "Your next." She countered playfully, her smile lingering for a moment before falling off her face. Heck, she had punched two of her other friends, Merlin knew what she would do in the near future. She hardly knew who she was any more.

"I know." She said. "I'd never thought I'd be like this. I'm not even sure why I'm like this." She explained, her eyebrows furrowed. She thought back to the note Hoshi left in her pocket. The real Hoshi. The one Taylor remembered. It had said 'Help Me'. Someone was making Hoshi act this way and although Taylor had attacked her, she really wanted to help her. She still cared about the Hoshi that once was, even if she wasn't the same now. Taylor knew the bright coloured prankster was still in there somewhere, wanting to come out.

Taylor swallowed and looked up at Sam when he leant his head against the wall. "I overheard people talking in the Great Hall this morning. Did you know Scorpius and Jenna were together?" Taylor asked through gritted teeth. Saying it out loud left an acid taste on her tongue. "I guess-" Taylor stopped, not wanting to damage her pride by admitting the next piece of information. But it was Sam and Taylor figured it didn't matter. "-I'm jealous. I guess me and Scorpius have that trait in common. Just... just the thought of them makes my blood boil. She practically asked for the punch when she called me a b*tch though." Taylor admitted grumpily. It was a stupid reason to punch Jenna, but at the time she had been so annoyed by the news and then Jenna had showed up right after. Talk about bad timing.