Open Out Of A Little Desperation

[Renata Stepanova]

Renata had returned to Hogwarts for her second semester with a plan. She didn't know if it would be a successful plan, but it was a plan nonetheless. She liked Hogwarts a lot - the people, especially those in her own house, were so nice and friendly and made her feel welcome, and the classes were enjoyable with good professors - but she couldn't help but feel a very strong case of imposter syndrome. Or perhaps it wasn't even that, since she understood that to have imposter syndrome you had to be good at something but feel like you weren't. That might have been how she felt about Quidditch, at least, as she was a servicable player if not a good one. It didn't really explain how she felt about the other groups she was in. Especially the arts club. She liked the arts club a lot, it was filled with all sorts of people she enjoyed hanging around with. But she didn't exactly contribute anything to it. It seemed like it was for people with talent, and Renata didn't have any. She'd resigned herself to this fact long ago, really. She and her father were best off supporting the people they cared about, standing to the side and letting them shine, as it had always been with her mother. Sometimes it was hard for a now fourteen year old girl to accept that she was never really going to shine on her own merit, even one as sweet natured as Renata. But maybe it was easier, knowing she didn't have to try.

But she did have to try, really. At least if she wanted to be liked. And although she couldn't really perform music, or dance well enough to justify showing it to anyone, and she certainly couldn't do art, what she had done ever since her birthday over the break was practice baking. She'd borrowed her nonno's computer to watch some tutorials for baking and decorating, had her nonna standing over her while she attempted to cook (although the Italian measurements of 'feel it with your heart' and 'it's a secret I'm carrying to the grave' weren't exactly helpful) and after spending pretty much all of her allowance on ingredients and decorations, she felt she had at least something she could bring to the arts show. After all, who didn't like desserts? And after pleading with a couple of house elves, she was sat in a quiet corner of the kitchen where she wouldn't make a nuisance of herself, trying to master royal icing. Now this was the hard part, she thought, shaping globs of stiff sugar into what she hoped would look like what she wanted them to. She was starting to get somewhere, maybe, now she'd scaled everything back to the simplest ideas she possibly could. Everything was looking rather misshapen, though.

 

[Salem Lee]

Despite being at Hogwarts for her fifth year now, Salem had never quite gotten the hang of the scheduled meal times. She liked eating when she liked eating and she figured if she was going to be stuck eating the same food at the same time in the same place day after day she was allowed a little snacking to get her through the day. Plus the house elves often had funny stories or cool recipes if they weren't too busy which made stopping at the kitchens whenever she was on the bottom floor of the castle a must do.

She'd sidestepped some of the elves already, on the hunt for something savory that wouldn't put her in their way while they worked when she spotted another student busy with some sort of icing, peering over the girl's shoulder speculatively as she did something with a piping bag. "Oh I get it, they're ghosts right? Or maybe like.. a snidget?" She said, squinting at the blobby shapes the girl was working out of the icing.

 

[Renata Stepanova]

Piping was hard. Renata had nice handwriting, really - if a little extra loopy and cute than it needed to be - but unfortunately her handwriting did not translate to piping. And she was trying to do some music notes and symbols but it...really was not going very well at all. The paint pallet of icing had been put aside, as kind of a brown lump with other coloured lumps on top of it. Renata sighed, jumping slightly at the sound of another voice but giving the older girl an apologetic smile. She'd been so focused she'd hardly noticed her approach.

"Maybe if I say it's a ghost I can pass it off as Halloween themed? ...in January?" she pondered, frowning at her works. At least this was all just practice and she still had enough icing materials on hand to do more before she had to put the real thing together. Which was now feeling more and more like a terrible idea and maybe she should just stick to cupcakes. But even then she'd have to make them look pretty to justify bringing them to an event. "It's...supposed to be...something. A bass clef maybe? I'm not sure what I was going for, there, honestly," Renata admitted, putting on a smile anyway. It was quite plain art was not her thing, but one couldn't fault her for at least trying.

 

[Salem Lee]

Salem joined the girl as she frowned in concentration, dropping down so she was eye level with the counter to contemplate the icing in front of them from a new angle. "I mean, I like Halloween. And it's nearly Autumn here anyway," she offered hoping, glancing at the girl before returning to the mystery blobs. "That's like a music thing, right? Are you making something for a musician?" She asked, shrugging before standing back up straight. "If it makes you feel better if it tastes good I doubt anyone will care what it looks like," she offered brightly. Salem had never been very good at making food look good, and if she was being honest, making it taste good wasn't exactly her forte either due to a distinct love of red chili flakes and a distinct lack of restraint, but her family had always assured her presentation wasn't everything. "They're kind of charming anyway. What's the word people use sometimes uh... Rustic?"

 

[Renata Stepanova]

Renata couldn't help but giggle a bit at the other girl's assessment of the situation. Had she been a bit more self conscious about it she would've possibly been offended, but Renata knew that her art was...terrible, to put it bluntly. She could kind of draw stick figures sometimes but they often came out pretty misshapen. "The arts club is apparently putting on a show of some sort? And, well, I'm not really any good at music, and really not good at art," she admitted, with a light shrug. She wasn't really selling herself short in this case. She could keep a beat on drums but that was about it for music, and art...well, the proof was in the pudding. Almost literally. "But I wanted to try and do something for it anyway otherwise I'll feel really bad about being there like I shouldn't be, so I thought I could make cakes. That bit's fine, they taste okay, but the decoration..." she trailed off, vaguely gesturing at the half musical half ghostly blobs of icing. She smiled at the suggestion they were rustic. "Rustic...that makes sense. Italian family," she justified. "We just feed everyone and don't care whether it looks like art."

 

[Salem Lee]

“So you decided to combine the two things you’re not good at?” Salem assessed happily as the girl explained what she was working. A show sounded exciting though, especially if there would be food there too.

Salem leant against the counter as the girl explained a bit more, nodding as she listened. “Why join the club if you’re not good at art stuff? Are you learning? That’s pretty cool,” Salem said, raising a hand before retracting it, barely resisting the urge to stick a finger into one of the icing blobs. “I always get bored of learning new things before I get very good at it, but it’s still pretty fun. I nearly fell out of a tree once cause my roommate tried to teach me some acrobatics stuff,” she said, perking up when the girl mentioned she was from an Italian family. “Oh that’s cool. If you tell everyone the icing is Italian style maybe they won’t know what it’s supposed to look like,” she offered with a cheeky grin.

 

[Renata Stepanova]

((when you only get motivation at work and just have to suck up the bad formatting...))

"Well when you put it that way..." Renata replied with a self-conscious giggle. She couldn't really help but laugh over it - it was quite silly when she thought about it. In truth, there wasn't really a lot she was good at. She could cook decently, if not incredibly, and she could understand a few different European languages. That wasn't exactly something she could show off, or necessarily wanted to. "Most of my friends are in the club," she admitted. There wasn't any point in saying she had thought she might be adequate but realized very quickly she was out of her league. No need to feel sorry for herself. "Acrobatics? Wow, that's really cool! Except for the falling out of the tree part." Realizing she hadn't properly introduced herself, she held out the mercifully cleaner hand (her left being coated in food colouring and icing). "I'm Renata, by the way. It's nice to meet you."

 

[Salem Lee]

Salem nodded in understanding when the girl explained why she'd actually ended up joining the club. "Ah yeah, that's kinda why I joined the Wild Patch Club. That and it was boring being inside all day," she said with a sigh. She'd definitely gotten used to being in the castle for months at a time now, but sometimes the wanderlust still hit Salem just as hard as it had in her first few years at school.

She smiled at the girl's enthusiasm about the acrobatics, nodding in agreement. "Elara, my roommate, assured me falling out of trees is an important part of learning," she said sagely. "Plus I got pretty good at not falling on my head after the first time," she added sheepishly.

Salem started some when Renata introduced herself, realizing they'd been talking awhile without names, before taking her hand brightly. "Renata, I like that name," she said, sounding it out a few times to get used to the syllables, the T sound sharper than a lot of words she was more practiced with in English. "I'm Salem, like the place," she said proudly.

 

[Renata Stepanova]

Renata nodded. "The Wild Patch club seems nice," she agreed. She had joined it but not done a whole lot there yet. Maybe next year she'd do more, especially because the rose deliveries would happen. She liked the idea of giving roses to people and sharing love around. And being in the castle all the time did get pretty boring.

Renata stifled a giggle at the comment about acrobatics. It felt a bit mean to, but at least the other girl wasn't hurt from trying it out. "I guess there's probably at least some charms to protect you from hurting yourself. My mama said that it's important to make mistakes. Except that was about singing so after a while she told me to just give it up," she joked. It was sad to her that she couldn't sing, but not everyone had that talent and Renata was a little tone-deaf. It had probably just skipped over her, wasn't anything she could do about that. She'd just keep trying other things. "Salem, that's a really nice name! It's good to meet you. I'm sorry it's over some terrible art."