Not My Day

[Sapphire Michaels]

Sapphire sat on the roof of the astronomy tower, idly strumming on a guitar she'd taken from the arts room and watching the stars. Today had generally sucked. She missed Ollie terribly, and now she was mostly certain she'd lost Mervyn as well. Onyx had tried talking to her earlier about the incident in the hall, but she'd not been willing to listen to him just yet.

She tried taking her mind off of things by playing "This Is Halloween," but she couldn't really get into it. Sighing in frustration, she laid back on the roof. "Ugh, this isn't working," she grumbled sadly.

An idea popped into her head then, and she sat back up. Maybe she just needed to vent and she'd feel better. She pulled the guitar back into her lap and began to play again, not hearing the door below her open.

She began to sing, soft and sweet.

I threw a penny in a well for wishing
Prayed for all the things I think I'm missing
A little time is all I really need

A second chance to give you something
It takes a lifetime to come from nothing
I refuse to believe in running away, no

I am doing the best I can with everything I am
Don't you know nobody's perfect
Do you understand how hard I'm trying for you
I am doing the best I can with everything I am
Don't you know I think you're worth it
Do you understand how hard I'm trying to do
The best I can
The best I can

I got a picture of what matters
and I keep it close to my heart
It's a little faded but so am I...

Sapph trailed off, looking up at the stars. This just wasn't helping the way it usually did. Sure, she had mixed up the song a bit, not starting at the beginning and not even technically finishing it, and she had skipped the chorus and combined verses, but still. It had never bothered her before.

She sighed in frustration. Nothing was going her way tonight. She let her head fall forward to rest on the guitar, agitated. She couldn't even really put her finger on what exactly was bothering her.

She heard a rustle then, but didn't bother looking up. "I'm still not in the mood Onyx," she warned darkly.

 

[Mervyn Strangewayes]

Mervyn had tried to forget about what he'd said to Onyx - what Sapphire had overheard him say to Onyx - but the stupid remark kept churning around in his head, rearing up while he tried to study, or over breakfast, or in class, where he'd suddenly look up and realise he'd missed half of a lecture. He didn't know why it bothered him so much. He'd meant what he'd said, after all; he didn't like Sapphire in that way (for what reason he didn't know), and nothing was ever going to happen between them. But the way he'd said it - it had sounded so cruel out of context, like he hated Sapphire, and had some personal problem with her. That wasn't it at all. She was a nice girl, pretty, maybe a little dramatic at times, but fun to hang around with. So Mervyn resolved that the next time he saw her, he would apologise and put things right - even though he maintained it was Onyx's fault for writing him that stupid rose.

He didn't expect to find Sapphire out on the Astronomy tower that night, and might not even have realised she was there had it not been for the faint singing drifting down from the roof. He crept quietly across the dark space, straining his ears to the cool autumnal breeze, the words becoming clearer the closer her got. The voice was sweet, and Mervyn didn't recognise it at first. Only when he accidentally stood on a stray piece of parchment and the voice spoke out to Onyx did he realise, with a jolt, who it was. He looked back the way he'd come, wondering whether to sneak away and down the stairs; then remembered he meant to apologise to Sapphire, and convinced himself to stay. "It's me," he called out, timidly. "I wanna talk to you." Down here. Not on the roof.

 

[Sapphire Michaels]

Sapphire winced when a voice replied. Not her brother. Of course not. Her luck was supposed to change now? After a moment, she stood, leaving the guitar and walking a bit closer to the edge. She didn't come off the roof- she tried to stay just out of sight.

A million different things ran through her head, before she managed to settle on one. "It's... You don't have to worry Merv." She was surprised at how she almost sounded normal. There was still that slight twinge of sadness in her voice but it wasn't immediately obvious.

"I've not been delusional or nothin'. What happened was more than likely Onyx's doing. You don't need to feel guilty or nothin'." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I know I'm just the stupid kid you just hang around when Leda's busy. I never thought nothin more." The sad part was slightly more obvious now so she fell silent, staring down at her feet. She wasn't sure what to think, or if she would get a response.

 

[Mervyn Strangewayes]

Mervyn had the perfect opportunity then to throw Onyx under the bus - and Onyx probably deserved it - yet somehow he could not bring himself to. Onyx had written the rose that had prompted Mervyn to confront him, but Mervyn's words had been the hurtful ones. "Nah, you got it wrong," Mervyn called out, taking another step towards the rail. "I said them fings cos I 'ad to get 'im off me case. I fink you're great, Sapph. I really like you. You're me friend." He paused, hoping she might come down. "I ain't got a lot of friends. Come down, will ya? I don't want to shout about it."

 

[Sapphire Michaels]

Sapphire was startled that Mervyn answered at all. But what he said surprised her. After a short pause, she turned and went back to grab her bag and guitar. With a deep breath, she walked over to the edge and jumped down next to the older boy. She looked up at him with a half-smile. "So, uh, what did Onyx do anyway? I was still a little... Agitated when he tried talking to me before." She grinned sheepishly, though she didn't regret punching her brother in the face.

 

[Mervyn Strangewayes]

Mervyn relaxed a little as Sapphire came safely down from the roof. He didn't like the idea of her sitting up there, even if there were probably charms to keep anybody from falling. 'Agitated'. Mervyn wondered whether Sapphire had had anything to do with Onyx's sore face, then decided he didn't want to know. "'E sent me a rose," he said, figuring that since Sapph had asked, he wasn't exactly grassing Onyx up. "Wiv your name on it. I knew it wasn't from you cos 'e signed it wiv love, or summink, 'n' it weren't even your 'andwriting, so I went 'n' found 'im 'n' I was just gonna tell 'im to leave out of it but then I said all them stupid fings cos I fort - well - I fort if I said I didn't like you, 'e'd stop tryin' to... get us togever." Mervyn blushed and looked away. He wanted to tell her again how great he thought she was - how he regretted telling Onyx that she would never be anything more to him than a friend, because actually he sort of wanted to kiss her again - but in the end, all he could manage was, "Sorry."

 

[Sapphire Michaels]

Sapphire listened to Mervyn, waiting until he was finished before she responded. She scrubbed a hand over her face. "That boy," She griped, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Maybe I should've hit him a bit harder. I told him..." She sighed, walking away from Mervyn a bit. She was feeling a touch vulnerable tonight and she didn't want him to see the tears starting to form in her eyes. It wasn't often the girl was anything but unshakable, but since she came to school everything had been changing. She had been changing.

She set her things down and leaned on the rail, looking morosely out over the dark grounds. "Why isn't he listening?" She asked softly, more to herself than to Mervyn. "Is he just... I know I'm not always the greatest, but... I've been trying." Her voice broke a bit and she swiped at her eyes. "I've never bothered with anyone before. I know I'm not good for people. I've never been. That's..." She paused, almost seeming to forget she wasn't alone. "That's what cost me my friendship with Lidiya, and then Ollie... He found me after a bad fight. I was beat up and bloody, and he never found out why, but he just... left. I don't even know if he knows about Onyx."

She was quiet a moment, trying hard to keep her cool. "Is he just trying to get rid of me or something?" She asked Mervyn, speaking a bit louder than before. Not that she really expected an answer, but she felt the need to ask anyway.

 

[Mervyn Strangewayes]

Mervyn didn't usually condone violence, but he didn't protest that Sapphire should have hit Onyx harder. The boy had no sense of personal space, boundaries, privacy, or just about anything else - especially when it came to his sister. Mervyn understood he was excited to be reunited with her after all this time, but he was going to push her away if he kept being so clingy and controlling. Sapphire was her own person. Why couldn't Onyx see that?

As Sapphire began to open up, Mervyn felt a pang of empathy. He knew what it was like to be left out, bullied, different. But since coming to Hogwarts, he'd had something Sapphire hadn't: a constant friend, there to pick him up when he was down and to tear him down when he got a bit too big-headed. Mervyn's legs stepped forward before his brain could approve it. He just wanted to comfort her, to help her see that someone cared about her - and not because he wanted to control her. "If 'e is," Mervyn said quietly, his voice tremulous, "'E's an idiot." He took one of Sapphire's hands in his, which felt stupid and cheesy as soon as he did it, but not enough to let go. "Some people... they can't 'andle it if you're cooler than them. Makes 'em look borin', doesn't it? And you're well cooler than any of the uvver girls in your year - and the boys." At this point, Mervyn ran out of things to say; but instead of letting the silence settle, he leaned in to kiss her, embracing the fear and the excitement and the way the world ground to a halt, and hoping that Sapphire would do the same.

 

[Sapphire Michaels]

Sapphire jumped a bit when Mervyn took her hand. She hadn't heard him come closer. She would never get used to all the touching in her life lately, but she couldn't deny that it felt... nice. She readjusted her hand a bit so that it rested comfortably in Mervyn's. She glanced up at him, eyes wet, unsure of what he wanted. She couldn't help but smile a little at what he said, even if she couldn't help but feel he was wrong. She knew she wasn't a good person, that she wasn't worth his attention- or Onyxs, or Jacobs, or anyones.

She very nearly corrected him on it, but she couldn't quite find the words. Something in the way he looked at her... did he want to kiss her again? What about everything he had said? A little part of her wanted to turn and leave, told her it was a bad idea. But the larger, more dominant part of her mind couldn't resist the look in his eyes. She leaned in a little closer, leaving the choice to him, not wanting things to end the way they had last time. It was the most restraint the girl had ever shown.

She shut her eyes, breathless, heart thudding wildly in her chest. She really, really wanted him to kiss her. Only this time, she didn't want him to regret it immediately after. All she could do was wait.

 

[Mervyn Strangewayes]

When Sapphire didn't pull away - when she shut her eyes, leaned in - Mervyn delicately planted a kiss on her lips, as if testing to see what would happen. He couldn't have been the only one thinking of their last kiss, and how it had gone wrong so quickly. But this time, he didn't want to stop or move away. He squeezed her hand gently, unsure where to put his other or what to do next. As a boy, Sapphire probably expected him to lead and to be confident, but the territory he was falling into was foreign and scary difficult to navigate. He had never been so conscious of his body, nor been so scared to make a mistake. Was that normal? Or was he just awkward? Closing his own eyes, he dared to kiss her again, this time lingering in spite of his light-headedness; and when he finally stopped worrying so much what Sapphire thought of him, he realised that it felt nice. Kind of magical. Like if Lumos could be cast on the inside, in his chest, beneath his skin. Now he understood why people liked to kiss. Yet something told him that the only reason it felt so special was because it was Sapphire. That he could kiss any other girl in the school, and he would not come close to feeling so happy. But did Sapphire feel the same? Or was he falling by himself?

 

[Sapphire Michaels]

Sapphire's breath caught in her throat as Mervyn's lips touched her own. Whatever restraint the girl had before vanished with the pounding of her heart. She took a step closer, kissed him back, her free hand coming up to rest on his chest. She clutched at the fabric of his shirt, feeling that if she opened her eyes, or let go, she would go tumbling off the tower. She was starting to feel really lightheaded. That wasn't good. Being so close to Merv felt really nice. He was warm, and soft, and everything she wasn't. She couldn't deny it. She really liked him. It took her a moment to realize she wasn't breathing. She broke away from Mervyn with a gasp. She laid her head lightly on his chest, struggling to catch her breath. "Okay," She managed after a moment. She started to step away. She didn't want to push too far, as she often did. Hopefully, this didn't end the way it had last time.

 

[Mervyn Strangewayes]

Mervyn opened his eyes with a start, immediately worried he'd done the wrong thing, upset her, made her feel uncomfortable. What had he been thinking?! He had no idea whether she even liked him or not; he should have asked for permission, or at least made sure it was something Sapphire wanted. He couldn't even relax when she rested her head on his chest, because worrying about her being able to hear his racing heart made it race even more. And then she pulled away. Mervyn dropped her hand as if holding it were a crime, his face bright red with embarrassment. "Sorry," he said, slipping in and out of his native accent as he continued. "I mean - not that I'm not - glad I kissed you, 'n' that. I just didn't mean to. You don't 'ave to say anyfink - maybe I should just go." Because for all he acted as if everybody ought to love him, he didn't actually believe anyone could - least of all Sapphire. "You're really, really great," he added, avoiding her eye. "Whatever people say, it's wrong - it's rubbish. And I don't just 'ang around with you when Leda's busy. I 'ang around with you because I like you..." He shrugged weakly. "I don't want you to think that." Even if the kiss meant nothing to Sapphire, he wanted her to know that.

 

[Sapphire Michaels]

Sapphire listened to Merv with growing surprise. Wait... did he think she didn't like him? But that wasn't it! Not even close! "Hey, Merv, Merv," She managed after she got over her initial shock, "Hold up a bit, yeah? Look," She grabbed hold of his arms, trying to catch his eye. "Mervyn, I swear," She realized she grabbed him and slid a step back, folding her hands harmlessly behind her. "It's not whatever you're thinking. You don't regret it, do you?" She scrambled, trying to get him to look at her without touching him again.

"I- I know I overdo, well, everything, and you said you ain't ready for, well, stuff, so I'm trying to be good, I swear," She chattered, blushing furiously but still determined to make him understand. "B-but, ah, I... I really like you, probably more than I should, s-so, um, it's okay if um, if this happens, you know, again, I really liked it, I- I just," She laughed nervously, running a hand through her hair. "I'm really bad at this, I know, it's just, Merv, I... I only pulled away because I forgot how to breathe and I needed air." She smiled shyly before biting her lower lip.

It was her turn to look away. "I- I know you said we ain't more than friends," She stuttered, "So I won't do nothin, I swear, I just, ah," She swallowed, trying to figure out what she was saying. "Whatever we do is okay with me. Does that sound weird? I'm being weird again," She winced and bit her lip again to keep herself from blabbering more. She really needed to figure out what was going on with her, but she had a hard time thinking over the pounding of her heart.

 

[Mervyn Strangewayes]

Startled by Sapphire grabbing his arm, Mervyn pulled away a little. But nothing could have startled him so much as the absurd thing she said next. Regret it? Of course he didn't regret it. He opened his mouth to disagree, but couldn't get the first word out before she continued, stammering over her words, blushing, fidgeting. His eyes widened. She liked him. She was being careful because of what he'd said last time they'd kissed. It was such a thoughtful thing, and such a silly misunderstanding, that Mervyn suddenly began to grin. Happiness and relief overwhelmed him, and for a moment he let Sapphire babble on, revelling in how embarrassed she was. She liked him. "Sapph, you're really weird, and it's adorable," he said said at last, still grinning like an idiot. "Could you, like, forget about what I said to Onyx? Cos - I mean, only if you wan'oo - I was just wonderin' if... maybe you'd wanna be me girlfriend?" Girlfriend was such a grown-up word that Mervyn didn't feel qualified to use it. But it was a word he could definitely have gotten used to - if Sapphire wanted it.

 

[Sapphire Michaels]

Sapphire could count each beat of her heart in the deafening silence that followed. She was about to turn and leave when Mervyn finally spoke again. She winced when the first thing he did was confirm she was being weird. She glanced up at him from under her lashes, starting to rub the back of her neck and pausing when he said she was adorable. Wait, what? She raised her head to look at the boy as he continued. He wanted her to forget...? Why would he...?

The next words out of him shocked her. For the first time... well, ever, Sapphire was speechless. Mervyn Strangeways wanted her to be his girlfriend. She looked at him with wide blue eyes. She blinked a few times. "Wait... what?" She managed after a moment, and she could feel her face burning as it hit her what he had said. She started to talk then, too fast, like being struck speechless had thrown her into overdrive. "You... wait... me?" She furrowed her brow a bit. "But I'm just... me. I'm odd and screwy and I have really bad luck and my brother is crazy and my mind is whoo but you, you're more... smart and fun and way, way, way outta my league why would you...?"

She shook her head quickly, as if coming back to herself. "You really are a loony." She grinned at him before stepping forward. She reached up and grabbed hold of his collar with both hands, standing on tiptoe as she pulled him towards her and kissed him. This bloke would be the end of her, she knew it, but she didn't care right now.

 

[Mervyn Strangewayes]

Mervyn was dizzy with anticipation, but somehow he knew Sapphire was going to say yes. She wouldn't have put herself through the embarrassment of admitting she liked him if she was going to turn down being his girlfriend a few seconds later. Her speechlessness was the most endearing thing he'd ever seen. How was it possible for somebody to be so utterly adorable? Mervyn grimaced inwardly as he realised Onyx was getting what he wanted. Mervyn was almost tempting to ask Sapphire to keep their relationship a secret, but that would have sounded as if he was embarrassed of her, which he most definitely wasn't. He didn't bother responding to her gabbled comments (though a couple of them were very flattering), but he did respond to her kiss - by wrapping his arms around her. And suddenly he didn't feel so alone any more. Because whatever he or Sapphire had to face, they could face it knowing the other was there to comfort them. Well - Mervyn hoped that was how relationships worked, anyway.

 

[Sapphire Michaels]

Sapphire swore her heart was going to burst out of her chest. She would have never have guessed this would happen when she got her letter saying she was a witch. She still thought he was a loon- who in their right mind would ever want to be with her? She couldn't figure out why Mervyn of all people would even look twice at her, but she planned to enjoy it for as long as she could. He would get bored of her eventually, she was sure, but for now, he was up here, with his arms wrapped around her, and she couldn't deny how warm and nice it was.

A thought struck her then and she couldn't help but laugh. She pulled back a bit, smiling like a fool. "Hey, not a word to Onyx. 'E's got a big enough head as is." She didn't care if everyone in the school knew- but she didn't plan on running around shouting it either. Especially not to her obnoxious brother.