My Unworthy Affections

[Artemis Tuuri]

Tiny footsteps echoed through the tower as Artemis padded down the stones, trailing bird seed and owl treats with every step. Despite having a raven and not an owl to deliver her letters, the midnight black bird liked to keep company with the barn owls who were roughly the same size as it. Art visited the Owlery more often than she needed to for companionship rather than practicality. There was just as many people to write home to as ever but less and less reason to as life became monotonous with inactivity. With slightly less than average grades and her motivation failing by the minute, she began to dream of leaving school and taking to the forests like her brother, Gregory. Still, it was no way to live. The eldest Yearling was a lion animagus and could at least catch his own meals, however unsavoury they were. Artemis was strong and well seasoned to forest life, but even she knew that it wouldn't be long before she'd have been snatched up by a werewolf or other large creature looking for a snack. Then there was the loss of her friends ... still, Artemis was dealing with that even now as people began to drift from her. Their minds seemed busy and separate from hers, especially Landon's.

As always these days, her thoughts turned to the tall and lanky boy whom she had intruded upon in a private moment some weeks ago. Since then, they had seen even less of each other as Artemis was forced to come to grips with Lucy's departure from their lives. Righteous anger made her clench her small fists as she recalled Landon's tears. Art had released him from her hug and left, glancing behind her all the while. She was not ashamed of him, but she knew that he had been ashamed of himself and it was not something that could be remedied with more fawning-over. Still, she wished dearly that he would come to speak with her. Seeing him crumple under the loss of his center of balance in the world sent a deeper pang to her heart than she was willing to admit. It reminded her too much of losing Jareth ... or at least that's what she told herself. Landon's deep brown eyes filled her vision for a moment and Artemis felt the pang hit so hard into her midsection that she squeaked in almost-pain out aloud. It took her a moment to realise that the vision has turned into a reality as she stared up at Landon's handsome, sad face.
"W-what are 'ye doing here?" gasped Art from below, having sat on the floor in surprise. Trust Landon to come upon her in a weak and unflattering moment when she was thinking about him in that manner ... no, not that manner. Not like that.

 

[Landon Dalton]

Landon was smiling in such a way that his features were softened into a warm blur of a face. The last time they had seen each other and spoken properly, had not been such a great time for Landon. He had been sat there, tears down his face, almost grieving Lucy. He had love her so much. Love at such a young age was something Landon had never believed himself capable of, but it had been true. They had only known one another for a year, before Landon and Lucy had shared their first kiss. That had been so magical, so wonderfully perfect. And Landon had also met Artemis. They had begun one of the greatest friendships he had ever known.. And now, as he looked her in the eyes with that vaguely goofy smile on his face, offering her a hand to get up, he couldn't help but feel things had changed between them. Oh, he'd thought these things for some time, but had dismissed them as just peculiar thoughts of no real meaning. It was more and more obvious that this was not the relationship he thought it was.

"I haven't seen you in quite a while," Landon beamed, thinking about the faint outline of stubble, upon his face. Perhaps he would grow a beard, some day. "I was just.." For a moment, Landon had believed that he had cleared his mind of the awkwardness brewing deep inside. He hadn't. He stuttered as he spoke. ".. G-Going for a n-nice stroll." He tried to appear calm, but failed miserably. "So.. Erm.." He stopped offering the hand to help her up, and instead joined her on the floor. "How are th-things?" How were things? How were things? Landon very nearly bowed his head in shame. What was stopping him from talking to her, from telling her what was going on with him and his fragile heart?

 

[Artemis Tuuri]

Art pursed her cherubic lips in curiosity as she surveyed Landon from the floor. She, like he, was less than impressed with his question and opted to ignore the hand offered to her till he sat down next to her and made her stomach jump again. Running her eyes over his 5'oclock shadow'd chin made her want to run something else over it; namely her nose. Almost imperceptibly she shuddered and tucked her hands beneath her crossed legs. What had gotten into her lately, that she had to exercise supreme willpower around a friend so as to not touch him inappropriately? But fancy having a stroll around the North Tower? Mild irritation overcame her mortification with herself as she considered Landon's greeting. No one just 'went for a stroll' around the drafty and bird-mucked hallways leading to the Tower. Either they were going to post a letter or they were there for someone. Art knew she had a recent habit of coming to visit Percy and feed him some treats and someone like Landon ought to know that. Far from increasing her irritation, the notion that he might have come to seek her out made her stomach do flip flops again. Now irritated with herself, Artemis then said something very foolish.
"I just came here to think about Jareth," said Art petulantly. She did not look at Landon and nor was her intent very clear. Far from trying to ward off Landon's company, she was trying to ward off thoughts of him should they overtake thoughts of her fallen sweetheart. But how were they to ever let go of those they had lost if Artemis kept bringing them up all the time? She shifted uncomfortably and looked up with wide eyes.
"And ... and I wanted tae talk to 'ye," she said, and began to pick a seem on her light blue petticoat. "I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly th' ... th' other day. I didn't mean tae just leave 'ye to yer lonesome, but I thought it was best ifn' 'ye just collected yer thoughts." That much, at least, was true. She could see his big hands on the floor in front of her and her own tiny one crept out to tuck itself underneath his. Art looked back at the floor and refused to look up again. That was as daring as she was going to be, today.

 

[Landon Dalton]

At the mention of Jareth, Landon felt his stomach tensing. He begin to wonder if he should just leave right there and then. He shifted his legs a little, almost asking as if he should leave, but then Artemis spoke again. The way she spoke, the way she said what she did, told Landon that she really was sorry for leaving him. But he didn't care about that. He didn't mind about that, anymore. There were much more pressing matters on his mind. And then, something strange happened; Artemis' hand had somehow slipped in beneath his. Landon stared down at their hands. His mind suddenly went blank but for that one same thought that had pestered him for what seemed to be forever. So far, he had not moved his hand, but he looked up at her face, her beautiful, delicate face. She wasn't looking at him. Had her hand ended up beneath his on purpose? He released it, raising his hand and laying it on her cheek.

As soon as he had made that move, stroked his thumb gently over her face, smiled so purely with his eyes, his hand jumped back as though he had touched something hot. "Artemis, I.." Landon stammered, standing up. But even as he opened his mouth, the words wouldn't come out. He turned. "S-Sorry." He spluttered as he made his exit. Landon had momentarily lost control of himself. He headed straight for the Gryffindor common room. He had to think this through. He had to suss his thoughts out. What did he really feel for Artemis? This seemingly platonic relationship they had, had transformed into something different. Landon wasn't sure if this was right, if his feelings were okay. Deep within him, something stirred, and he knew what he had to do.

 

[Artemis Tuuri]

Artemis looked, if possible, even more miserable when Landon removed his hand from hers. It was a stupid thing to the do in the first place, really. She ought to have tried to pass it off as friendly comfort, but as always she wore her heart on her sleeve and it was plain to see what it really meant. How could she do such a thing to him at such a moment? And if Lucy came upon them ... Artemis hunched her shoulders in shame, just as Landon surprised her for the second time that day. Artemis raised her head with his hand as Landon cupped it in his palm. Her eyes shimmered but no tears fell as she gazed into his smiling eyes. It was then that she truly appreciated what Lucy had abandoned. What she wouldn't give to have someone look at her like that, as if there was no one else in the world but the other. He must surely have been thinking of someone else while he stared at her, for no one had looked at her like that since Jareth. Finally giving in, Art clasped the hand on her face and buried her cheek into it. It could never mean what she wanted it to, but damned if she wasn't going to make the most of his momentary affection. Suddenly, Landon's hand was torn form her cheek and her own hands almost followed it in an attempt to draw it back to her. He spluttered his apology and left so quickly that she hadn't time to echo his words. Clutching her petticoat as if it were life itself, she watched his retreating form and said quietly, "Don't torment me anymore."</COLOR></FONT>

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Lunch at the Ravenclaw table was a listless affair. Artemis poked at her lasagna with an overlarge fork and sipped only the pumpkin juice from the tumblers lining the table. All the while, the same one word rolled like clockwork through her mind and put a stony scowl on her face. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! There was only one thing for it: Art would have to avoid him until he forgot about the 'incident'. How could she have taken advantage of his affection for her and turned it into something romantic in her mind? Two friends who had lost their loves ought not think about each other in such a disrespectful manner. In fact, it was she who was thinking romantic thoughts, not him, Art decided. With a thump that caused surrounding students to jump and stare across the table, Artemis knocked her head onto the wood and stayed there, face buried in her arms. Her moan of frustration belied no pain and only self pity and anger. How on earth could she fix this?

 

[Landon Dalton]

Landon sat in his dormitory for what felt like, and probably was, hours. He stared at the pictures on his side table, at the single photograph of him, Jareth, Artemis and Lucy all smiling and waving at the camera. Jareth was looking fashionable in a shining green waistcoat and loose white shirt. Lucy was positively glowing as she smiled at Landon's shoulder. Landon's hair was fiery red and neat. Artemis, however, was different. Oh, he had seen this picture many times before, but he had always been focussed on Lucy or on Jareth. How had he not noticed what he now saw? She was a warm breeze on a mild day, the first crisp frost in winter, the twinkling star that sat atop a decorated tree.. It had taken him a year to realise his feelings for Lucy. And it had taken even longer to realise them for Artemis. No matter how he looked at the photo, the only person who stood out was her. Tiny Artemis, so wise, so kind, so brave and beautiful.
Landon sat the picture back down. His eyes darted around the room and landed upon a guitar; it belonged to Jay, the muggle-born who Landon often spoke to, so curious about his way of life. He was sure that Jay wouldn't mind if he borrowed it for a while. After all, it was an emergency.</COLOR></FONT>

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The Great Hall was teeming with life. Landon rolled up his sleeves and slung the acoustic guitar over his shoulder. He allowed himself a long, deep breath. This was it. This was the solution he had been seeking for so long. He stepped through the open doors, ignored the questioning eyes upon him, and arrived at the Ravenclaw table. He recognised Artemis instantly, her head on the table. He felt terrible for leaving her like that, and now he was about to make or break their relationship. He readied himself, gave a light cough and was greeted by the nearest Ravenclaws turning to look at him. He gestured the guitar, removing it from his shoulder and letting it hang by its neck like a dead chicken, as he realised what a stupid idea this was. "I.. I can't actually play the guitar." He swallowed awkwardly. And then, Landon did something he had never done before, something he had never thought himself capable of. He sang.

The song jerked shakily from his lips as though he hadn't done this in years. He hadn't. And yet, as he warmed up his vocal chords, the tune echoed out with more confidence. It was obvious that this song was for only one person, though many others were now listening to it. And still, Landon went on, singing his message to the girl he now knew he loved.

 

[Artemis Tuuri]

The general hubbub at the Ravenclaw table died a bit and Art recognised the footsteps of the one and only Landon. Her sensitive ears twitched a bit but she did not look up as she expected him to pass by and head towards the Gryffindor table. But he did not. She heard the soft clearing of a throat and Landon saying 'I ... I can't actually play the guitar.' Finally she lifted her head and her ears drooped over as she looked at him. There was no time to say anything, to apologise or even question his being there, before he began to sing. She was frozen from the moment the first note left his lips and she was startled by the tremulous baritone that emerged. Its husky purr left her shivering and trembling on the bench, her little legs swinging and shaking. Why was he singing in front of all these people? Everyone was looking now, from the Hufflepuffs on the left right over to the Gryffindors half-poised with scoops of pasta. Art's face began to flame. How could he, oh how could he draw such attention to her? She was mortified, embarrassed ... yet entranced. Landon's voice grew stronger with his confidence and her shaking hands closed softly in her lap as she stared up at him, her mouth parted in a silent 'O'.

Finally his deep voice paused and she pressed her lips into her fists, speechless. She hardly dared think what it could mean that Landon was singing to her in front of everyone in the Great Hall, singing to her and her alone. Fearfully she glanced around to see if Lucy was there to bear witness but there was no sign of her strawberry blonde waves. Beautiful Lucy. Perfect Lucy. Tall, clever, Landon'-girlfriend-Lucy. Everything Artemis was not and yet he sung to her, Artemis, with such daring and feeling. After all this time ... could she really seek solace and allow herself to be loved by this man? Looking around fearfully to the faces peering at them from across the tables, her gaze met only encouraging faces and students whose hearts had been touched by Landon's brave gesture. Finally the tears wobbling under her lids slipped out and over her knuckles, and she dropped them from her face. Artemis could say nothing, so she stepped forward and pressed her head into Landon's waist.
"Ye can hold me," said Art. "Please."

 

[Landon Dalton]

A watching silence had fallen over the Great Hall. Landon had stopped singing and Artemis was now speaking to him. And she was requesting something he hadn't expected. Something he had wanted to do for so long. He didn't really know what he was doing as he wrapped his arms around her. It was odd being so physically close now that he had made his feelings obvious, but it was a good odd. Admittedly odder than with Lucy because Artemis and Landon had been friends until now. Friends until now. Landon opened his mouth to speak. He could feel the warmth of another being, the heart beating out of time with his. "Well?" He said with a curious tone, beaming at her. "What do you say? Can we give it a go?" He hadn't even stuttered as he had spoken. His mind seemed to have been freed of his worries, his confusing thoughts. Now it was just Artemis and him. Nobody else existed.

 

[Artemis Tuuri]

Artemis could not believe that Landon still wanted a scrawny little thing like her. Perhaps she could understand Jareth as they were of similar blood but not Landon, who was so different to her; tall and strong. Art was strong too, only it was hidden beneath her spindly arms that barely made their way around his waist. She did not understand his choice, but nor did she have to. He offered nothing more or less than the purest escape from her loneliness, insecurity and pain. It could have been no one else but Landon: she wouldn't have trusted anyone else to take no pity on her or to think of her as weak and small. Landon knew exactly who and want she was after these many years and if he still wanted her, then who was she to deny him? She adored him.

"Yes, please!" said Artemis eagerly, before the blush reappeared on her face. Composing herself, she lifted her arms a bit higher and managed to shimmy her way up to his neck so that they were face to face. It was a sweet sight, to see the part goblin girl cradled in the Gryffindor boy's arms. Something wild must have possessed them both for the thought of so many other people watching also disappear for Art. With one arm hooked around his neck, her other hand came to rest on his cheek, finally able to touch it as she had longed to for some time. His chin prickled with stubble but his cheek was baby soft under her little fingers. Her eyes followed the lines of his face till they came to rest on his lips that hers were so close to. Looking almost pained with want, Artemis glanced up at Landon with the question in her eyes. Please.

 

[Landon Dalton]

That was that. Landon and Artemis were no longer just the closest of friends, but they were now courting. Once upon a time, there had been four of them; Landon and Lucy, Artemis and Jareth. But then Jareth had been taken from them, and since then, the world had seemed to fall apart. Landon had lost Lucy. And yet, maybe it was destiny? Maybe this was how everything had always been due to turn out as? Maybe, even if Jareth was still alive, Landon and Artemis would have ended up together? Everything was a possibility. But Landon didn't dare think about what could have still been, but focussed on what was. At long last it was him and Artemis, at long last he felt his heart relaxing, experiencing pure bliss. He found himself incapable of wiping that smile from his face. She was not of a muggle background, she was not tall and her hair was not blonde, but one thing she was, was Landon's dream girl. The one.

The guitar lay on the floor, forgotten and slightly dented. Landon had set his heart free. The people watching were still silent. Landon allowed the flow of life to guide him- And it guided him straight to Artemis, his lips to hers, smiling into the most unexpected kiss he had ever had. In a distant sounding world, someone was clapping. And then another person joined in. And another. Landon hadn't even noticed Jay sitting at the Gryffindor table, but he was not looking angry, on the contrary, he too was clapping. Not everyone seemed to know what they were applauding, but neither did they seem to care. Landon was in love and he wanted the whole world to know it.