My Temptation...

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

The world seemed a darker place of late, whenever she thought she would crawl out of the pit she had been wallowing in she remembered everything she had done and said to those she cared about and let go the rim to fall back down again. It was getting late and everyone was most likely finishing up their dinner, Andromeda had skipped another meal to take herself out of the equation. She couldn't bare to look at Kat and Kiera knowing now how she had hurt them with the tongue lashing she had given them but it was too hard for her to go back.

She walked slowly down through the garden towards the lake, taking the longer route than she normally would have just to enjoy the evening some more. Prolonging her thoughts that once again strayed to the only comfort she allowed herself of late. Instinctively she wrapped her arms about herself and breathed in deeply as if holding herself together and waking from slumber at the same time. Often she had wondered why someone she had only met briefly could plague her thoughts, her dreams and her as much as Crispin did. Andromeda was not so shallow to have forgotten Bruin so quickly but she knew now that it could not have been love, perhaps he had known it sooner and that was why he had left her. Given her the space she needed.

Reaching the edge of the lake Andromeda closed her eyes before opening them to look out across the lake. The stars reflected on the water surface, she wished she could simply submerge herself. Wash herself clean of everything. Be something pure and good that could go to Crispin and say 'here I am, I am good enough for you now'. The evening was maddeningly warm and Andromeda had worn only a light summer dress. A muggle gypsy style off the shoulder, palest cream as to be virtually white ankle length dress. The flattest of sandals adorned her feet and draped about her shoulders was a deep blue pashmina. Her hair was loose, flowing down over her back gently blowing in the slight breeze that wafted up from the lake. It would be strange for those she had been teasing and tormenting the past few weeks to reconcile this image of her with the one she had used with all of them. But for once Andromeda wanted to leave her mask behind her.

She was by herself, alone under the night sky blanketed only by stars and the memory of his kiss. Why would she need to pretend to be anyone else now?

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

The night beckoned to him, warm and inviting, almost as if something were pulling him toward it. He had struggled that day. Throughout school work, the blasted whinging of the first years, the forced strained smiles between supposed friends. The hypocrisy had eaten at him until he'd wanted to throw his books to the ground and start screaming. Then the scent of roses drifted by his nose, calmed and unnerved him at the same time. Twice that day he had passed her in the hallways, longing to grab her to his chest and just hold her. Calm her as much as it would calm him. He needed her.

Drawn toward the calm simplicity of the waters edge, he pushed onward. He hadn't changed from his school uniform. Dark grey slacks molded to lean hips and muscular thighs, his white shirt with rolled up sleeves gleamed in the dark night. As he approached the lake he stiffened in shock. She was there. Beautiful, red hair loose and flowing in the wind, dressed like something straight from his dreams. Standing there, vulnerable, so achingly vulnerable. Don't turn from me. Oh don't turn from me. Not now.

Crispin approached her back silently and his hands, those long fingered strong hands, shook finely as they lightly ran down her arms. Traced over the soft flesh of her forearms to cover her crossed hands with his, his arms around her. Finally around her, the girl who had captured his heart, who'd imprinted herself on his very soul. His head lowered in supplication to her divinity, his lips brushed over her bare shoulder and suddenly his embrace tightened. He breathed her in and knew, knew that that wondrous connection was straining, snapping between them like an invisible chord. "Andromeda." His voice, hushed and lowered yet raw with need, whispered her name in adoration.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

The breeze rustled the leaves on near by trees gently, as ripples glided across the lake. The gentle waves breaking on the rocks nearby. She felt almost at peace here so much so that when his arms touched hers there was no shocked reaction. It was almost as if she knew he would come, had wished so hard and yearned so badly that it had become inevitable. Goosebumps trailed her skin where his hands left their mark before he wrapped them around her. Gathering her in, his mouth on her shoulder sent shivers through her. Andromeda moved her head ever so slowly to lean it back against him, closing her eyes she sighed contented.

At any moment one of them would speak and break the spell that seemed to surround them, that always seemed to be there. It was becoming more and more fragile as if whatever could have been between them was losing its only chance. She felt heartbroken by it more so when he said her name as if saying a prayer.
“Crispin” the amen, the ending and her beginning Andromeda turned to him. There was no space between them nothing but the walls she put up, the locks she fastened. Desperately she would try to tear them all down but it was not the time, it was never the right time. She wasn’t ready and she knew it.

Her mouth found his an urgency tearing through her as if she would never know his kiss again, as if she knew that this moment might be all they had. He could only take so much of her rejections, someday she would be ready but by then it would be too late. Her fingers curled into his hair pulling his face closer, she had nothing to give him but the body he held. As much as she knew her heart would be his if it were whole, her soul would be his if it weren’t cursed these simply weren’t gifts for her to give. Her mouth moved from his to begin leaving a trail of blissful destruction down his neck and back up to his ear lobe. The slightest pressure of teeth before she breathed softly into his ear, as if she were sharing some deep secret that the rest of the world should not hear.
“Crispin” again his name more urgent, as her hands slid across his shoulders coming to lie on his chest. Feeling the heart that pulsed beneath. Her eyes heavy with unconcealed desire, she could no more hide her feelings than she could voice them.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Surrender. Heady, sweet, possessing. He felt it take hold as she turned in his arms and pressed warm lips to his. Everything in him surrendered itself to her. Her lips on his neck coursed goose flesh across his body. Breath, warm and sweet, aroused a fierce need. His legs shook against hers. Crispin brought them to the ground slowly, oh so slowly. His knees hit the grass, his arms pulled her close as they kneeled. His mouth fed from hers hungrily as his hands gripped her back. Inside his heart sang. Right now, for this one moment in time, she was his. Time lost all meaning as the wind picked up pace and whipped against them.

There was no need for anything but this moment. No need for anything but her and him. He brought her closer, his mouth trailed down her neck to nip against shoulders gleaming white in the faded moonlight. Her name slipped from his throat. Everything he felt for her in two syllables, bearing him before her. His mouth claimed hers again as his heart tried to claim hers. Hands roughened by years of hard labor traced along her body. Give your heart to me Andy. I promise to do no wrong.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda felt herself moving downwards as if she were being dragged down to hell itself but her devil was so glorious, so beautiful that she didn't mind at all. As she clung to him she felt the shawl she wore slip from her shoulders and drift away, it didn't matter where, his lips were on hers and she kissed him back as hungrily as he kissed her. Finding herself kneeling on the grass before him did not bother her, they were not directly in view of the school but rather off to the side of the lake, away from prying eyes. Andromeda had often come here for sanctuary but she knew that after today, she would come here only as rememberence.

His mouth trailed like lava across her shoulders, her fingers fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. There was nothing that had not been used before, nothing save the flesh on her bones. She would give herself to him if he truly wanted her, Andromeda had nothing else to give, nothing else to offer him. Hearing her name from his lips sent a shiver through her and she searched for the source. Finding it eventually she kissed him again and again, until heady with desire she slowly lowered herself to the ground.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Warm air brushed his skin as Andy's fingers parted his shirt. He followed her to the ground and kept her tight in his embrace. Their lips sealed, moving unabashedly against each other. He raised his head, seeking breath to fill his burning lungs, resting his forehead against hers. Her urgency had driven him, pushed him to a place he had longed to be. Alone in his dormroom he had sat awake many nights just staring at the sky thinking of being with her, kissing her, lying with her. It was finally here, the opportunity had presented itself. So why did it feel so wrong?

To take what she was offering would only bring them both hardships. Crispin did not lie to himself. He'd not let her lie to herself on this night. Softly he kissed her, stilling her hands with one of his own. He brought them to rest on his chest. Propping himself up on an elbow he stroked strands of hair away from her beautiful face. "Andy, we can't do this."

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda felt elated, as if the black hole she had become was finall turning in on itself. She wanted him so much, could that be so wrong? Her heart hammered loudly in her chest and she thrilled to hear it, it sounded refreshed, unbroken, renewed. As if waiting now for him to claim her, a long slender leg raised up to curve alongside him as her mouth moved along with his. Never had her body reacted so violently, so wantonly yet so possessively of anyone. She felt his hands hold hers against his chest, not to excite her further but to still the tide that threatened to engulf her. Her eyes widened, unsure of what was happening.

Did he not want her? Wasn't she good enough? What more did he want from her? Any other boy would be happy to claim the body she offered on a platter but Crispin was simply brushing stray wisps of hair from her face.
"Andy, we can't do this."

She stilled, looking at him suddenly. Her breath catching in her throat. The breeze blew about them and from her peripheral vision she could see her shawl blow very slowly closer and closer to the lake. Take me with you. She wanted to beg it, tug at it so it would have no choice. Andromeda attempted to move him from her, her eyes filled slowly, fighting back tears of humiliation. She always knew she wasn't good enough, had always known. This slap in the face from him was simply the last nail in the coffin she had made for herself.
"Fine.. get off me... just... get off me Crispin" she wriggled some more before lying completely still and staring up into the strange eyes of the boy who possessed her, owned her and she had yet to figure this out.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin refused to budge when she tried to displace him. He would not be shoved aside so easily this time. Even as her tears moved him his mismatched eyes hardened against them. "You'll not run this time Andromeda." His voice became hushed, absent. "Do you know how often I've longed for this moment?" His gaze touched along the strong yet soft body he laid beside and hovered slightly over. His long fingers traced a burning path along her leg, slowly along her hip, until his hand rested warmly on her heart. Its strong fast beat drew his eyes back to hers. "You're not ready for this. Not now, not with me or anyone else." His thumb moved slowly back and forth, as if seeking to memorize her skin before he caught her chin with his fingers. "I'm not ready."

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda wanted nothing more than to run for cover, she had been stupid. Foolish to believe that he could feel anything for her. His hand trailing its way up her leg sent shivers coursing through her, he wanted her too. Mixed emotions raged within her, she wanted this and she didn't. She wanted him but not like this. Crispins voice like a seductive prayer telling her how he had wanted this for so long made her close her eyes. Had he changed his mind? Was he now ready to touch and consume every inch of her here. Her breathing came in short bursts as his hand came to rest over her erratic heart, his thumbs movement creating chaos all over her.

But he was telling her she wasn't ready not now, not with him not with anyone. Opening her eyes she wanted to glare at him defiantly but knew in her heart that he was right. There was nothing of her left but that one precious gift, could she really squander it so easily. As he touched her chin and looked at her, she smiled to hear that he was not ready either. Her heart felt elated, as if it was ready to break out and do some kind of victory dance. Andromeda reached a hand up and gently touched his cheek, looking into his beautiful mismatched eyes. For the briefest of moments she had the strongest urge to tell him she loved him but it wasn't long before the wall came back. The shield she used to protect herself from feeling that deeply, switched on and she let her hand slip away. Her voice when she spoke sounded as if she were in control of herself again, as if the tempest had been a silly passing phase. She was over it and wanted nothing more now than to walk away to lick her wounds. For conceal them as best she could, she was only flesh and bone, she was only a sixteen year old girl with a heart that could encompass so much but had lost her ability to trust.
"How can you not be ready for a moment you've seemingly longed for?" amber eyes met his without resistance, "You can move now the hysterics are over. I won't touch you again".

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Finally he had reached her, he had cracked through that shell to touch the woman within. Yet even as he elated over it he felt her slipping, falling back in. No no no. If his heart had fingers it would be scrabbling bloodily to entangle with hers, to hold tight to that spark of emotion he had caught within her eyes. The soft hand on his cheek, even as he turned into her sweet touch, she took it away. When would he reach her? His head slowly fell forward, forehead rested on her shoulder as she spoke. Was he fighting a losing battle? How could he win or fight against this, when it was his love he was fighting for?

No. His head raised, eyes bored into hers. Her body, as beautiful as it was, wasn't what he fought for. "I want your heart Andy." His warm hand covered her breastbone, trying to infuse warmth inside her lonely heart. "Don't hide it from me."

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda sighed as he lay his head on her shoulder, closing her eyes her hands ached to touch him. To hold him close and keep him but it was useless, pointless. He raised himself up to look at her, as if his soul was trying to merge with her own but he should have known. He had read her journal after all, she was not complete. She was tainted, classification to be found under magical beasts, magical creatures, anywhere where the wild things were. There was no soul and there was no love. Andromeda felt his hand over her heart, could feel the heat penetrate through the light material of her dress. His words should have warmed her even more but it only made her slide further from his grasp. She let her head turn to look out upon the lake.

How was she expected to believe in love when everywhere she looked it fell apart, it stopped existing, people only got hurt from it. Her father had cheated on her mother; her uncle had divorced his wife; Kiera had cheated on Alex; Kat had cheated on Sumner; Brian thought there was nothing left between himself and Zuka. If she waited long enough perhaps Aries would come running to tell her that himself and Violet had crashed and burnt as well. She wanted the happy ever after but had not found it in the one person she had been certain of, Andromeda turned her head once more to look up at him. Her hand slid over his.

To save herself she had to push him away, couldn't risk the pain of getting hurt or hurting someone else. Love didn't work, hearts were stupid fickle things. She knew that now and knew that at some point she would have to apologize to Kat and Kiera, who was she to judge them? Her voice was almost lifeless as she spoke. it wasn't a lie...
"My heart is taken"
He had read her journal and would or should make the presumption that she still felt strongly for Bruin but she could not lie. Her heart was taken, bit by little broken bit, fragmented scrapes had garbled themselves together to meld into something that could beat for him. Her heart was taken by the very one who was touching it but she would be damned to let him know.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin recoiled as if she had struck him. Taken. Her heart was taken. While she held his, firmly in her hands, and crushed it. Coldness settled over him, sunk into him until he stood up as if pulled up by strings. With wooden movements he fetched her wrap and gave it to her. He didn't know how his legs carried him. How his heart still pumped blood through his cold limbs. The cloth slipped through his fingers into hers as he grasped her hand and pulled her up with a strong yet gentle grip. He released her and as her hand left his, so did his heart leave his body. Crispin was an old soul, he felt deep, he scarred even deeper.

"I'll bother you no more." He turned, never looking back as the night swallowed him.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

She felt the coldness creep over her as he left her and stood up, pulling her up she thought he would pull her to him once more, almost yearned for it but knew there would be no more. No more kisses stolen under starry skies or in prefects bathrooms. No more warm arms embracing her, no more roughened fingers gently caressing her cheek. Andromeda felt the cloth touch her hand and let it slip as she heard his words. Every syllable was like a nail being hammered deeper and deeper into her but he was not the one wielding it, it was herself.

She watched him disappear into the night and wanted so badly to run after him. Had she learnt nothing from the mistakes she had made with Bruin? Was she destined to repeat it all time and again. Holding her hands up before her she looked at them, they may appear smooth and flawless but to her they were now the hands of a murderer. She had killed love in its purest form, before it had time to blossom. Andromeda deserved no happiness after this but had always known she deserved none.

Turning slowly back to look out at the lake, she neither cried nor shook with sorrow, nor fell in a weakness to the ground, wailing at her own stupidity. She simply stood there, numb. Cold and numb inside and out, he deserved better than her, he had deserved a real heart, a real girl, someone with a soul and capable of loving him in return.