Closed Look across the way

[Elio Zephyr]

When Elio was on his own recently, he’d found himself more and more up in the North Tower. As long as he didn’t get too close to looking over the edge at the plummeting death trap that was the concrete floor and instead focused on what was above him, then it was relaxing rather than a panic. Elio was in a predicament with his relationship, one that had barely reached its third week. How was this already happening? Was Elio just bad at being a boyfriend, that even after being interested in someone for over a year, he just didn’t have what it took to be able to be what someone needed? He knew he was never going to be able to give just one person every part of himself, but it was something the prefect was struggling to come to terms with. He’d just never pictured things turning out the way they had.
​

With everything going on, Elio wanted to spend some time with Marco; fill him in on some details and try to understand more about what both of them actually wanted. After sending a note to the Hufflepuff to meet him in the towers, Elio nervously waited for Marco and just kept reminding himself that he was doing the right thing.​

 

[Marco Mariani]

Marco realised it had been a while since he had written home, and to his sister Alice. It wasn't often that he was up in the north tower so when he was, he ensured that it was a planned trip, only coming here when he needed to use one of the barn owls to send his letters. On his way out of the common room, however, the boy had received a note from Elio asking to meet him in the towers, Marco had beamed, it was the perfect timing. Halfway there however it dawned on him that he had forgotten his letters but he shrugged, continuing to climb the staircases. When the boy was almost there he paused, suddenly thinking that maybe Elio wanting to see him now wasn't good news. He swallowed a little nervously, hoping that it wasn't a serious thing. Maybe Elio needed to tell him what was going on, which was high time he did so in Marco's opinion. Once he arrived and he spotted the Gryffindor he smiled at him. "Hey," he greeted, unsure if to give him a hug, or something. Was he meant to? "What's up?"​

 

[Elio Zephyr]

Elio felt a bit sick as he waited for Marco, and as he heard him arriving, it was a strange sense of impending dread. The Gryffindor smiled at him warmly, every time he saw the Hufflepuff again he remembered exactly what hold he had over him, but it wasn’t fair of Elio to do anything about it until Marco knew what was going on in his head. He felt more than awkward, unsure. “Hi,” It was all the came out at that point, wondering why Marco seemed a little hesitant too. Did he already know? “I just thought we should chat,” It all seemed so formal between them, especially since they were meant to be a couple. He took a deep breath, slowly and quietly as he tried to calm himself down. Where was he meant to begin with explaining something so complicated to someone he felt he never got to see properly? It wasn’t like talking to Rowan, easy and open. It wasn’t Marcos fault of course, but Elio didn’t know how to talk to him. “How..have you been?” It was small talk and Elio knew it, but maybe it would give him time before he ripped the band aid off.​

 

[Marco Mariani]

Oh. Elio just wanted to chat. But what about? Marco was really curious, they had barely gone out for three weeks yet, so this was all new to the fifth year. He wasn’t sure how relationships worked at all, he hadn’t exactly expected him and Elio to happen, it wasn’t planned, at least not for Marco. "Okay," he nodded, admittedly not sure of what else to say. This conversation already seemed a bit awkward, unnatural, which was something that hadn’t happened between the couple before. Unless it had and the prefect hadn’t noticed. "I’ve been good," he replied slowly. Why was he asking him this? They hadn’t spent a lot of time together the past few days but it seemed much too formal seeing as him and Elio were in a relationship. "What about you?" Maybe Elio needed some time to gather his thoughts about...whatever he wanted to talk about. Marco would wait. ​

 

[Elio Zephyr]

Every time he was near Marco it was so easy to get distracted, but he had to focus if Elio wanted to actually get the words out. He smiled with a nod when Marco said he’d been good but he was sure he could tell there was tension in the air right now. “Yeah, erm, listen I need to tell you something,” It wasn’t as though he was going to be able to beat around the bush about it, and the sooner he told Marco what was going on the sooner he could work on resolving it. “I, really like you, I do.” It was almost cliche of a break up conversation but Elio didn’t know how else to start it. “I have for ages and I just, I’ve realised that I’m not going to be able to be who you want me to be,” he felt bad that he’d waited until they were an item to figure it out, but it had just been a case of bad timings. Elio was still looking towards Marco, trying to calm his heartbeat down.​

 

[Marco Mariani]

When Elio smiled at him Marco smiled back, unable not t smile. It was impossible, Elio's smile was contagious. It was easy being around him, talk to him. Well, except for right now. It was a bit awkward and the fifth year Prefect had no idea how to act. It was so...unnatural. Weird. He could sense that something was wrong and he desperately wanted to know what was on Elio's mind. When the other boy failed to answer his returned question about how he was doing, the boy's shoulders tensed. Clearly he needed to get out what he was thinking, and Marco stayed silent as Elio finally told him what was going on. Well, not the full story. It took a moment for his brain to register what Elio had just said. "You...what?" He glanced at Elio. "What do you mean?" he asked. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know, but he had to understand. ​

 

[Elio Zephyr]

Elio knew he’d mentioned Rowan to Marco in the past, although given they had spent a large part of the year not speaking to each other, he knew what he was about to say was going to come as a surprise. The way the Hufflepuff was looking at him now had him on edge and Elios channelled nervous energy was turning into hyperactivity in compensation. The fifth year was standing there, leaning from one foot to the other as he tried to get the words he needed to leave his mouth. “I mean I can be with you, and I think we could have so much fun, but erm, you know Rowan Baros?” He said, shoving his hands into the pocket of his hoodie, subconsciously trying to protect himself even though he knew it was Marco he was about to hurt, “I..I only realised it recently. Yeah she’s my best friend but, it’s like, it’s different,” this was harder than the prefect had anticipated. “I love her.” Elio was watching for Marcos reaction, although after everything that happened with Rowan, he didn’t want him to misunderstand, “I’m in love with her.” Elio looked away at that point, glancing anywhere except towards the boy opposite. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he added honestly. Elio knew that as for as long as he loved Rowan, he wasn’t going to be able to love anyone else in the same way, “and you deserve more than I can give you”.​

 

[Marco Mariani]

Marco was getting a little impatient and nervous as he waited for Elio's answer, his heart racing. There were many thoughts going through his mind right now, all of the possibilities of what the boy standing in front of him now could tell him. As soon as Elio mentioned Rowan, though, Marco's heart sank. Of course it was about her. Marco hadn't been oblivious to the stares Elio kept giving her in class, or him generally giving her more attention than Marco. It might have seemed selfish to feel that way, but was it really? He nodded, of course he knew her. They shared classes and Elio had talked about her, but before the Hufflepuff hadn't minded Rowan at all, because he was happy being with Elio, going on dates and having fun. The fifth year struggled to respond. What was he supposed to say? He loved someone else. He hadn't expected it, and it hurt. He should have seen it coming, from Elio's strange behaviour and distance lately. "Oh..." was all that came out. He was trying to wrap his brain around the fact that he wasn't going to be in a relationship anymore. It wasn't a phase, Elio was in love. That didn't just go away. If circumstances had been different, Marco might've even supported it. But it wasn't another of his friends, it was his boyfriend who...was breaking up with him. "I...I don't know...what to say," he said finally, glancing up at Elio. "I suppose this is it then," he sighed, suddenly feeling the need to sit down, so he did so, settling on a step. It was a bit overwhelming and he couldn't believe it was already over. This kinda sucked. ​

 

[Elio Zephyr]

Just because Elio wasn't in love with Marco, didn't make the situation any easier. He still cared for the Hufflepuff and didn't like to see him hurt or upset, but he could only imagine that things would be even worse if he strung the boy along even further down the line. The prefect gave a reluctant nod of affirmation at his realisation, and watched as Marco took a seat on the step. The guilt in his chest was unnerving, and even though he had done everything he could to make things as easy as they could be, Elio still felt as though he had done something very wrong. The Gryffindor took a seat beside Marco, resting his arms on his legs, "I'm so sorry, I never saw it coming," he admitted honestly, knowing that if he had woken up to his feelings about Rowan earlier, he never would have put Marco in the position he was now. The was a strange tension in the air which Elio could only assume was natural after a break up, but he hated it. He was the sort of person that would break the tension for other people, although now that he was sat here, the cause of it, it was so much harder to know what to do. "I don't want this to ruin our friendship, but I get it if you don't want to speak to me for a while," It was strange. He still liked Marco and still wanted to be around him, but getting his head around the idea that he had to stay back for the Hufflepuff's own benefit was one that was going to take time for even Elio to get used to. Elio was sure that he could hear his own heartbeat in his ears as he tried to find the right words to say, and eventually he looked sideways to.. what was he supposed to be now? His ex? His friend? If Marco would still accept that of course, wanting to wrap him up in a tight hug but knowing that probably wouldn't go down too well. "I've never lied to you. All those dates we went on, before we even got together? I'm never gonna forget them," he said with half a smile, thinking back to the occasions they would go to Brightstone together and enjoy the day out. It may not have ended the way either of them had planned for, but they'd made the memories at the time, and Elio was always going to recall fondly what they did have.​