Long Distance Referral

[Daniel Clairoux]

-PLACEHOLDER-​

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[Corey Clairoux]

'Indefinitely separated' was the term Corey used to describe his relationship with his husband to others. They were living in different countries, and avoiding contact all for the sake of growing as individuals. Not to mention it had been nearly a year since the two had made the mutual decision to spend time apart. In retrospect, such a brief umbrella term was the only thing Corey could use when queried about his wedding band without him needing to create an open line of contact with his husband to discuss it and breaking one of the terms of their so-called 'separation' in the process. So why, after spending the better part of a year standing on his own two feet, living alone, and funding his writing career with a job as a bartender, while brushing off every question he got about his wedding ring without a husband to go with it, did Corey find himself scribbling a letter to said husband while fighting his better judgement to procrastinate? He had no idea how to answer the question himself though now that he had begun writing the letter he had avoided for weeks, he thought it better for him to just get it over with. If the letter Corey received from Dan's disgruntled best friend had been completely honest in its words, this was in Dan's best interest anyway. When Corey finished writing the letter, he hastily shoved it into the envelope he addressed to Dan and sent away with his newly purchased pet owl, Emrys, before he had the chance to chicken out.​

Dear Daniel,

Before you start, I know I'm not supposed to be writing to you. I know it breaks the rules we set out, but after contemplating this for weeks, I have realised that writing to you is exactly what I should be doing.

I'm happy to hear that you have a job as a counsellor at your old school. It sounds like the perfect career path for you. Helping others has always been in your nature, and I know more than anyone that you have always been good at putting the needs of others before anything else. Gosh, I'm so proud of you. I love that you are there to help students in need and that you're making your own mark on the world.

But while I am proud of you, I am also worried. Putting the needs of others first always meant forgetting about yourself. And if the letters Jon has sent me are true, you're more focused on the students' problems than your own. I do understand that it is probably part of the job description, but please Dan, if you are having problems, I'm here for you. You don't deserve a repeat of what happened with me and quite frankly, I refuse to let that happen again. You're too good to be plagued with so many problems.

I miss you. Please know that I am here for you, no matter what.

Corey.

 

[Daniel Clairoux]

Daniel completely understood the situation he found himself in, and yet, were someone else in his place the advice he would be giving them would be completely different to what he was doing, which was pretending that it would all sort itself out. His ring had never left his finger, and whilst he had tried to tell himself that it was a possibility that it could be gone for good, the thought of seeing the tan-line it would have created by now made him feel sick. It clicked against his coffee cup as he took another sit, finding himself quite busy with work. Far too busy to immediately read the letter that had found itself on his desk, brought in by one of the librarians whilst he had been gone. He had recognised the handwriting immediately on the slightly crumbled letter, and whilst he tried to focus on the task at had, the letter was tantalizingly close.

He sighed to himself, and closed the folder. Ignoring the letter was impossible, and the five minutes that had past felt like they had aged him. He peeled back the folds of the letter, the parchment crumbling at his touch, and looked at the contains written. It wasn't what he had expected. Jonathon had been in his ear regularly, now that they once again lived together. He had assumed that his friend had been sending letters to Corey, because he had seemed so invested in getting them back together that it was the only thing he could do short of kidnapping them both and locking them in a cellar. He sniffed slightly, pinching the bridge of his nose as he considered his options. He could never leave a letter unattended, and yet he had no idea what to write as a response. He could always send a letter of acknowledgement, some stupidly put together 'thank you', slap his name on it and be done, but that would be cheap. Insincere.

He slammed his head on the desk.

Having a little splodge of ink dripping down his cheek now, coupled with a nice red mark on his forehead, he went about looking for a piece of parchment. Corey's letter folded neatly back within its envelop and placed in his top drawer, he sat back down with a fresh sheet and quill. Blobs of hesitation soon tarnished the page, but the man continued scribbling away, eventually composing a letter, and sending it away using one of the school's owls once he managed to get up to the Owlery. ​

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Spoiler: Letter

Dear Corey,

I'll admit that your letter surprised me, when it really shouldn't have. Jon has been suggesting that I write to you for a while now, but I wasn't sure you would want me to. You're not supposed to be writing to me but, I can't seem to find myself upset about it. You might be right, maybe this is exactly what we should be doing. We've never really been the kind of people that could just go about in our own circles, pretending that we're comfortable. But now that we're writing, I fear you'll have to deal with me rambling a little (sorry about that) and my hand writing. I'll pack a magnifying glass for you, to help out a little.

You don't need to be worried about me. I'm perfectly fine (no matter what Jon thinks). Whilst 'fine' might not seem like much, it's enough for me. I'm having no problems here, and am very happy. I have great work-colleagues, and there's a kitchen that's always open (with so much food I could never eat) and the students here are good kids. Well, most of them. There are a few sour-apples, but nothing that can't be handled. You don't have to worry about me - and I know you won't listen, but it needs to be said anyway. Please don't think I'm happy that you're gone, but I can take care of myself in your absence. I promise. What I'm doing now is the perfect thing for me, and I'm happy. I wish you were here, to be honest, but you were very clear.

How are you doing? In your letter you never told me what you're doing, how you've been. Are you better off? Have you taken steps towards writing? I certainly hope you have - I love reading your stuff. Don't worry about me, Corey, because all I ever do is worry about you.

Dan.​

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[Corey Clairoux]

Corey had never been the kind of wizard that resorted to scare tactics. He much preferred being honest, working things out through discussion and reaching a mutual agreement rather than over dramatizing an already bad situation with something even more terrible. Discussion had been what brought him and his husband to the decision to disband for a while, and explore who they were as individuals without the pressure of a marriage looming over their heads. However as Corey read over Dan's response, he realized that between Jonathon's pestering not subsiding and Dan's adamance to insist nothing was wrong, he had no better option but to react in a way that fit well into the definition of a scare tactic. It was pure manipulation in any form. He wasn't this kind of person, and he knew it. Dan knew it. Everyone knew that Corey would never put someone's emotions on the line and create vulnerability to achieve a goal.

He slapped his palm to his forehead, scrunching Dan's letter into a ball with his other hand and throwing it to the other side of his bedroom as he stifled every urge he had to hesitate writing his response. When he finished jotting down his words, he pulled his wedding band from his ring finger and placed it with the letter in an envelope he sent away with Emrys, retreating to his bed so he could sleep for the rest of the day and keep himself from withdrawing his decision to act completely unlike himself for the sake of his husband.​

Daniel,

I know you are not fine. So does everyone else in the world. If you won't admit that you're not fine, and will continue to not put yourself first, then I will do it for you. Have a nice life.

Corey.