Closed It All Fades to Black

[Melanie Holland]

Melanie was happy Eric was back home, even though she knew he was saving up hard to move out as soon as possible. She understood why, he wanted to build a life with Minnie. Melanie was still so glad her son had found someone so perfect for him, Minnie was the perfect match for Eric's temper. It was amazing to see how much of an influence she had on him. Melanie had just finished some shopping, mostly picking up some sweets to send a care package to Connor at Hogwarts. After her shopping, Melanie took a shortcut through the park, it was a nice day. She was a bit lost in thought, she was so proud of Connor, being head boy. It was easy to remember how he had been as a first year, terrified of his own shadow, crying at the drop of a hat. A small smile appeared on her face as she imagined the look on his face as he got his favorite sweets in the mail, he'd probably send her a letter back to thank her. Connor was a sweet boy.

Then, it was almost like her body noticed something before her brain did, as she froze entirely, the bag of sweets tumbling out of her arms. Melanie stared in muted shock at the all-too-familiar face of the man sitting on a nearby bench. It was a face she had once loved more than anything, a face she still saw every day when she looked at her oldest son. Ryan. Her ex-husband still looked just as he had the last time she had seen him, before he had walked out on her. Somehow, that little fact awakened the rage that had been lying dormant inside her for nearly two decades. Without realizing what she was doing, she blindly reached for her wand.

 

[Ryan Marshall]

This was fine, Ryan tried to tell himself as he leaned forward on his knees to watch his kids on the playground. This was fine, and good, and happy. This was how happiness worked. Wife, kids, good job. All the things you were supposed to want in life. So the daydreams about just getting up and walking away, starting over, those were nothing. They didn't count. Ryan was happy. He told himself over and over, a mantra ringing in his ears as he pretended he was keeping an eye on the playground, making sure nobody got hurt.

He had run once before, and it had solved everything. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he almost thought he was imagining Melanie coming towards him. But he hadn't seen her in years, she had looked much younger. It was only when she reached for her wand that Ryan realised with horror that this was real. He jumped to his feet, putting his hands up in a calming gesture. "Mels, how've you been?" He said quickly, already mentally planning his exit strategy. He could just apparate away, but the kids...

 

[Melanie Holland]

Melanie grabbed her wand and was just thinking she should put it away when Ryan had the nerve to call her by her old nickname and ask how she had been. All thoughts of ending this peacefully disappeared and she pulled out her wand, pointing it at him as she strode forward. "Don't call me Mels. How have I BEEN!?" She yelled, not caring that she was drawing attention to herself. "You walk out on our family FIFTEEN YEARS AGO and you ask how I've BEEN!?" She yelled. "I should turn you into a cockroach and STOMP on you! I'd be doing the world A FAVOR."

 

[Ryan Marshall]

Ryan winced at the volume of Melanie's voice, keeping his hands raised in front of him as her wand pointed right at him. "Mel-Melanie, please!" He hissed, trying to get her to quiet down. "We can - let's talk privately, please." He whispered, glancing nervously over at the playground. He hoped the excited shrieks of children playing would be enough to keep his kids from hearing this. "This is... it's not... something the public should know."

 

[Melanie Holland]

Melanie knew she had to calm down, if she didn't she really would hex Ryan into oblivion and get herself in trouble. She reminded herself of the things she used to say to Eric when he was young and got into his blind rages. It turned out that counting to ten still worked when you were in your forties. "Why not? Let them know you're a piece of sh*t who leaves his kids." She snapped at him, though her voice was already a lot lower than it had been. "Ryan, what the f*ck are you even doing here?"

 

[Ryan Marshall]

Ryan was almost more terrified when Melanie went silent, wondering what hexes were running through her mind. It was a relief when she spoke more quietly, though the vitriol hadn't changed at all. He winced further at her question, mind scrambling for a... cleaner answer, an easier one, but... nothing came. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to find the words, before finally just croaking them out. "...My kids..." He said weakly, gesturing to the playground. "Mels, Melanie, please, let's do this somewhere else..."

 

[Melanie Holland]

Melanie didn't think this whole situation could get more surreal, until Ryan opened his mouth and had the nerve to tell her he had kids. She stared at him in stunned disbelief. "Your kids." She said slowly. "You.. have kids, more kids." She took a deep breath. "Then tell me. Were you just not going to tell us you have f***ing kids, that my kids, our kids have f***ing siblings!?" She asked, her voice rising to a shout again.

 

[Ryan Marshall]

Ryan knew that Melanie had only ever gotten the worst of him, but he was still somewhat stunned at just how effectively she could make him feel small. This was exactly why he had never made contact, and it took him a moment to find his words, gushing her again quickly. "Shush! You didn't want to hear from me!" He hissed, moving closer to try and get her to stop shouting. "You would have reacted like this! I'm married, Mels, it's... it's been a long time, of course my life is different now. It's... you didn't want to know, the boys wouldn't...." He trailed off, stomach twisting at the thought of his sons. Eric and Connor had been so small when he left, they must be almost men now, and... "You're all better off without me. I'm just... going about my business, and you can... go about yours, it's... better that way."

 

[Melanie Holland]

Melanie had to closer her eyes and count to ten to keep herself from exploding. She took a few deep breaths, letting Ryan's pitiful excuses wash over her. "You can't tell me what I wanted." She told him angrily. "I wasn't that heartbroken about the divorce, Ryan. We could have made it work, being separated, the boys could have had a dad." She snapped. "Since you're apparently capable of being one." She added, glancing at the playground before looking away. She didn't want to see his kids, she couldn't take it. "The boys needed you. Do you even want to know what they grew up to be? Do you even care? Eric just graduated, Connor is Head Boy. They managed it all without you, but that doesn't mean they didn't need you. It hasn't been an easy road, especially for Eric." She said, her voice shaking a little. "You don't really believe that we were better off without you, it's just a cowardly excuse." She spat.

 

[Ryan Marshall]

Ryan couldn't help a wince at Melanie's words, looking away. His boys had grown up without a dad. Ryan had never wanted that for them, of course not, but he had been so young and scared and stupid, it had been so easy to convince himself that they were better off without him. As Melanie went on, a stone of guilt settled in his heart as he heard that they had been. "I... it's not an excuse." Ryan said, voice shakier than before. "It's - look at what you're saying, Mels! You did an amazing job, they're doing so well. I wouldn't... I would have made things worse. They didn't need a dad like me, they needed a mum like you. Do you really think Connor would have made Head Boy with me as a role model? You were all better off without me, I had to leave."

 

[Melanie Holland]

Melanie wanted to scream, she wanted to punch Ryan in his stupid face. Only the awareness that his kids were nearby was stopping her, even if she still couldn't make herself even look in their direction. She took a deep breath. "You don't get to do that." She said through gritted teeth. "You don't get to make yourself the victim when you left us." She stepped closer, her wand clenched in her fist. "Stop it before I hex you in front of your kids, I'm this close." She told him with a glare. "You have no idea how hard it was for us, for me. Eric got kicked out of two different schools and a sport club for fighting all the time before he went to Hogwarts, and it's a small miracle he didn't get kicked out of there as well. That's because of you. You abandoned us, you cowardly piece of sh*t." She said, before gesturing to the playground without looking there. "I guess we weren't better off without you since you're apparently perfectly capable of being a good dad." She added, her voice shaky.

 

[Ryan Marshall]

Ryan opened his mouth to defend himself as Melanie started, but as she continued he couldn't bring himself to actually speak. His voice came out croaky when he finally managed it, shaking his head. "That's... you don't know that. I wasn't... I wasn't ready to be a dad yet. I... I'm sorry Eric was so difficult, I really am, but I wasn't... in any place to make things better. It probably would have been worse if I was there. I'm not.... I wasn't a good person to be around. I wasn't ready. I'm sorry I left like I did, I really am, I just... I couldn't stay."

 

[Melanie Holland]

Melanie scowled and crossed her arms. "You weren't ready to be a dad yet, and you figured that out after we had two children?" She shook her head. "Spin it however you want, you left me alone with two babies." She snapped at him. "You're right, you're not a good person. But that's not an excuse. You always make excuses, it's never your fault." She told him, taking a deep breath. "But now that you're apparently ready to be a dad, did you ever... think about them?" She asked, her voice slightly brittle, to her annoyance.

 

[Ryan Marshall]

Ryan couldn't help cringing at Melanie's words, determinedly not letting them sink in, however true he knew they were. His face twisted and he looked around, half-hoping Penelope or Holden would fall off the playground so he would have some excuse to escape this conversation. Her last question was the final knife in his heart, the vulnerability in her voice twisting the blade fiercely. "Of course I did." Ryan said quickly, justifying to himself that trying not to think about someone was still a kind of thinking about them. "All the time. I just... it was too late."

 

[Melanie Holland]

Melanie couldn't help following his gaze to the playground before tearing her eyes away. The little girl with brown hair, could that be his kid? She didn't want to know. She swallowed when Ryan admitted he had thought about them. "It was not too late." She said quietly. "You were just telling yourself that, so you didn't have to feel bad." She paused, then pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket. She scribbled down her address and thrust it at him. "Here. We need to talk, sometime when your kids aren't here." She said. "You can come anytime in the evening, Eric works then so he won't be home." She met his eyes. "Don't bail on me again, Ryan." She said quietly.