- Messages
- 11,820
- OOC First Name
- Camilla
- Blood Status
- Half Blood
- Relationship Status
- Divorced
- Sexual Orientation
- Straight
- Wand
- Rosewood Wand 14 1/4" Essence Of Hair From The Mane Of A Unicorn
- Age
- 48
((Okay. Firstly, this whole thing is meant to be taken as a joke. I never write fanfiction seriously, I usually write it as parody. So please don't be offended by anything, just laugh. 
Secondly, it is set around the TriWizard tournament, in Goblet of Fire, just so you know. And thirdly, I wrote this really quickly this morning so it's nothing spectacular. I've written plenty of better things.))
Harry still couldn't believe his misfortune. "Picking me for the second Hogwarts champion," he moped. "Some nerve that Goblet's got. I'm Harry Potter. I should've been first...I mean, I didn't enter my name, I shouldn't have been chosen," he clarified, in case anyone nearby (e.g. Ron) happened to be listening. "I mean, it's so not fair..." he began to whine, followed by a mundane stream of whinging that I will not bore you to report here. "And I wish Cho would notice me, I mean, Ginny worships the ground I walk on, but I like Cho more...at this point in time, anyway."
Suddenly, out of nowhere...well, not really nowhere, it was right next to him...a suit of armour that had been drinking just a little too much (they can drink, apparently) started to topple over, on the verge of squashing Harry flat yet Harry, in his emo state, did not have the will nor the speed to move away.
"Now this suit of armour is going to squash me. Life's not fair," he whined, folding his arms.
Suddenly (again), in a burst of sparkles, Cedric Diggory appeared, pushing the suit of armour aside. "Cedric? How did you do that? You weren't even in the corridor!"
"What are you talking about, Harry, I was right there," Cedric muttered, confused.
"No you weren't! There was nobody around me because I was alone in my downward spiral of despair."
"Okay, whatever. I was standing right next to you...I was going to ask you about the third task, but I guess I won't. Um, see you around, I guess. Hey Cho, let's go hang out by the lake," he said, grabbing her hand with an extremely pale, white arm.
Seeing this, Harry pushed his fringe across his face, and stomped off to write some more bad poetry in his dorm...however, there was something about Cedric...
---three weeks later---
After being pushed in to the Library by Hermione ("but books are for nerds, Hermione...") and finding a strange book lying around, Harry decided it was time to confront Cedric about what he'd seen.
He found him, after stomping around the castle for about 3 hours, in the Forbidden Forest, showing Cho how good he was at climbing trees.
"Cedric," Harry began, in his whiny voice (never mind the fact that Cho's standing right there...). "You don't have to hide it from me. I know what you are."
"That's right, Harry," Cedric responded, jumping down from the tree in a burst of sparkles. "I...am a vampire."
Of one thing I am certain, Harry thought to himself, looking pensively forward. Cedric...is a vampire.
Cho, who had been standing right there, rolled her eyes. "Oh my God, you two. Seriously? Were either of you paying attention in Defence Against the Dark Arts?"
Both Harry and Cedric looked at each other, shaking their heads. "We haven't had a proper teacher yet," Cedric reminded her.
"Then you've both fallen under the spell of that book. It hasn't been published yet, but that doesn't matter, because you're acting just like the characters. Cedric is sparkly, and pretending to be awesome..."
"I am awesome," Cedric interjected, casting an annoyed look at Cho.
"Yes, babe, you are...and Harry is being an annoying whiny...girl."
"I'm manlier than Mr Sparkle here, that's for sure."
"You aren't!" cried Cedric, brushing the sparkles out of his hair.
"You couldn't take me."
"You're on!"
"Name a time and a place, sparkle boy..."
Frustrated, Cho walked away from the two, little to know that she would never see Cedric again...
((wow. that was appalling. I am soooooo sorry.))
Secondly, it is set around the TriWizard tournament, in Goblet of Fire, just so you know. And thirdly, I wrote this really quickly this morning so it's nothing spectacular. I've written plenty of better things.))Harry still couldn't believe his misfortune. "Picking me for the second Hogwarts champion," he moped. "Some nerve that Goblet's got. I'm Harry Potter. I should've been first...I mean, I didn't enter my name, I shouldn't have been chosen," he clarified, in case anyone nearby (e.g. Ron) happened to be listening. "I mean, it's so not fair..." he began to whine, followed by a mundane stream of whinging that I will not bore you to report here. "And I wish Cho would notice me, I mean, Ginny worships the ground I walk on, but I like Cho more...at this point in time, anyway."
Suddenly, out of nowhere...well, not really nowhere, it was right next to him...a suit of armour that had been drinking just a little too much (they can drink, apparently) started to topple over, on the verge of squashing Harry flat yet Harry, in his emo state, did not have the will nor the speed to move away.
"Now this suit of armour is going to squash me. Life's not fair," he whined, folding his arms.
Suddenly (again), in a burst of sparkles, Cedric Diggory appeared, pushing the suit of armour aside. "Cedric? How did you do that? You weren't even in the corridor!"
"What are you talking about, Harry, I was right there," Cedric muttered, confused.
"No you weren't! There was nobody around me because I was alone in my downward spiral of despair."
"Okay, whatever. I was standing right next to you...I was going to ask you about the third task, but I guess I won't. Um, see you around, I guess. Hey Cho, let's go hang out by the lake," he said, grabbing her hand with an extremely pale, white arm.
Seeing this, Harry pushed his fringe across his face, and stomped off to write some more bad poetry in his dorm...however, there was something about Cedric...
---three weeks later---
After being pushed in to the Library by Hermione ("but books are for nerds, Hermione...") and finding a strange book lying around, Harry decided it was time to confront Cedric about what he'd seen.
He found him, after stomping around the castle for about 3 hours, in the Forbidden Forest, showing Cho how good he was at climbing trees.
"Cedric," Harry began, in his whiny voice (never mind the fact that Cho's standing right there...). "You don't have to hide it from me. I know what you are."
"That's right, Harry," Cedric responded, jumping down from the tree in a burst of sparkles. "I...am a vampire."
Of one thing I am certain, Harry thought to himself, looking pensively forward. Cedric...is a vampire.
Cho, who had been standing right there, rolled her eyes. "Oh my God, you two. Seriously? Were either of you paying attention in Defence Against the Dark Arts?"
Both Harry and Cedric looked at each other, shaking their heads. "We haven't had a proper teacher yet," Cedric reminded her.
"Then you've both fallen under the spell of that book. It hasn't been published yet, but that doesn't matter, because you're acting just like the characters. Cedric is sparkly, and pretending to be awesome..."
"I am awesome," Cedric interjected, casting an annoyed look at Cho.
"Yes, babe, you are...and Harry is being an annoying whiny...girl."
"I'm manlier than Mr Sparkle here, that's for sure."
"You aren't!" cried Cedric, brushing the sparkles out of his hair.
"You couldn't take me."
"You're on!"
"Name a time and a place, sparkle boy..."
Frustrated, Cho walked away from the two, little to know that she would never see Cedric again...
((wow. that was appalling. I am soooooo sorry.))
)
:
Are you okay?
