Hiccuping (closed)

[Zazuka Getathorn]

Zazuka had heard or at least gotten a feeling. She hated this. She hated the fact that she picked these things up. She could feel that something had broken. What she didn't know yet. It wasn't the only reason she was out by the lake. Andrew had vanished again. She needed him, she needed someone that she could leaning on. She felt alone among the clouds she usually loved so much and it was starting to hurt. Andrew seemed like the only that could make the clouds feel like home again. Brian didn't even know about her skill. Not that she had never wanted to tell but it just never came up.

Zazuka hiccuped. Anyone that had ever seen her cry knew that this was the only sound she made when it happened. Her face was dry though. All her tears where collected at her eyes and her face seemed to have no emotion to it. All the sound she made was that soft heart braking hiccup that had been the only sound she had been allowed to make after her father hurt her. Willow's Rain. Zazuka allowed herself to think about that place again. She had thought that upon escaping her father and his abuse she would be free of all hurt. Zazuka hadn't counted on things going wrong in other places.

They had. Zazuka could feel everything but never be able to decipher any of it. Everything that came to her was always confused and riddled with secret meaning to the point that when she finally did get a good clue of what was going on it was usually too late. Staring out at the lake, Zazuka let out another soft hiccup as the soft sunshine of a dieing winter shimmered on top of the lake. This had been something that had made her so happy, why was it making so sad at the moment? Zazuka looked up at the school from the rock she was sitting on. Something was broken. Someone was broken. She knew this but she didn't know who. The first tear started to roll down her cheek.

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

Brian saw Zazuka feeling a bit nervous. Something had been bothering him since the tower incident and he hadn't told anyone. Deep down Brian didn't want to tell anyone because he knew that it might only bring trouble and he'd had enough of that. Brian had promised to just be Zazuka and Andromeda's friend and nothing more and that was a promise he inteded to keep. Zazuka was just standing there hiccuping, it was kinda cute in a weird sort've way. Brian took a few steps forwards figureing it wouldn't do any harm to see how his friend was doing.

As he took his steps forwards he stopped suddenly remebering the hallucination, Future Zazuka had been the only one that could see him when they were all in the forest. That was pretty weird but what she had said was even weirder. She had told him that the future he had seen was possible and that she had known that for a long time. It had sent chills down Brian's spine to hear the her say that as he'd never heard her say anything like that before. It was a bit creepy since Brian didn't understand how she could've known such a future was possible or why she was the only one that had been able to see him.

Part of him believed that perhaps she was the one that had seen him because they had a special connection. That part of him Brian had to ignore because he knew it would get him into trouble, it also was a double bladed saber as it made Brian feel that he should confine more in Zazuka so that he could be with Andromeda in the future. Brian didn't understand it and at that moment didn't want too. Part of Brian had changed with the burning of his Grandfather's Journal and he was more than happy for it but right now he had to pretend as if he was sorry for it's loss. "hey Zazuka!" Brian said as he continued his steps forwards.

 

[Zazuka Getathorn]

Zazuka wiped the tear that had fallen then turned to the voice she knew was Brian. She had gotten good at identifying voiced. "Hey." She said with a soft smile. "Funny how the things that should bring joy sometime bring sorrow." She said looking back out at the lake. She knew and had seen some people swim in the lake. She wouldn't it was too cold out right now. That and she still believed that there was a creature in the lake that could take them down.

Zazuka shook her head. "Ignore that. It's just me being weird again." She said her smile getting brighter. The feeling was gone. The feeling of a broken heart. She felt it like it was her own. When feelings hit her she knew they weren't hers. All the time except once. When Andy had gotten bitten. She felt ever bite, every tare like it had been happening to her. Then she woke up to Kailey telling her what was had been going on while she was, she thought, asleep. Nothing like that happened after that.

Again Zazuka let it go. It was better to let these things just go. "What brings you out here?" She asked turning around again. This time she seemed almost normal though her sunshine hadn't come back yet. It was rare to fell that happy as day went by. She didn't know why but every thing seemed heaver than it should be. Zazuka again let her thoughts go.

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

"nothing you do could ever be 'weird'" Brian said with a reassuring smile as he stood in front of her, though the voice in the back of his head mocked him as an image of Future Zazuka smiling and telling him that she'd known about the future for a long time flashed in his head. Brian pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind as he smiled at his friends "I saw you from Ravenclaw tower and figured you could use the company" Brian said matter of factly.

"It's been a long week to say the least" Brian said with a bit of a sigh letting all the air out as if that would make everything better. "I've decided never to go into the forest again, I have a nasty habit of swallowing plants that make you hysterical" Brian lied figuring it was the lawyer inside him that made lying so easy even if he knew it wasn't right. Brian had to lie though in order to protect Andromeda, if Zazuka believed it then it would make everything alot easier in the future.

Brian didn't like thinking of the future anymore and yet he seemed to be thinking about it alot, in fact hardly a minute went by without him seeing the three sixteen year olds smiling and having a good time, two of them deeply in love and the third having saw the future before it had happened. That wasn't all that was bothering Brian however, he had a conversation with his Grandfather that revealed a dark secrete one that only his father could verify and unfortunately there wern't any telephones nearby and his father hated Owls, Brian didn't think it was something he could put in a letter anyways.
"you ever just get tired of Divination?" Brian asked wondering what her answer might be on the subject that was all about the future and picking out signs and grims.

 

[Zazuka Getathorn]

Zazuka shook her head. People told her that she wasn't weird all the time. They why was it that she felt out of place more often than not? Zazuka knew that she could fit in anywhere with her seemingly easy manner but most of the time she felt like she didn't really belong there. Like she was just pretending to be part of crowd. "Yeah, I guess I do. It was strange just now I felt like my entire world had crumbled." She said. Zazuka was used to talking like this with Andrew so she didn't find it that strange.

With a soft laugh Zazuka nodded. "Long and tiring for most of us." Zazuka looked in the direction of the looming woods. Part of her missed them because they reminded her of the only good thing she had while under her fathers' dominion. Part of her reminded her why she couldn't go in there again "I can't go in there anymore. Too many bad things have happened in the forest for me to go in there without feeling sick." She said honestly. Zazuka would start feeling dizzy the moment she stepped onto one of the paths.

"Enough about that though. I don't get tired of Divination. I guess it will do me some good for when I go to the Ministry and take the test that will give a title to what I've been feeling." Zazuka said with a slight smile. She figured that Brian being the brilliant person that he was could figure out what she meant. Zazuka didn't often like to call it Seeing because she very rarely Saw anything. The things she did See she couldn't often remember.

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

Brian looked at her a bit questionly "you mean like seeing the future?" he asked a bit timidly, Brian didn't know how he would react if she told him that she could see the future. What would that mean for Brian's dream? Brian honestly didn't want to think about it. "I haven't really heard of anyone actually telling a prophecy, though the Quibbler in the commonroom had an article that the ministry keeps thousands of prophecies hidden in some room and are plotting to use them to ensure the public is kept ignorant about Nargle infestations and secrete organizations" Brian rambled slighty hoping to change the subject slightly as he stared at Zazuka. His heart seemed to be beating faster and harder and he wasn't exactly sure why.

"How's Andrew been?" Brian asked trying to find something that might help him at that moment, he regretted saying Andrew because a part of him mocked him flashing images of Andrew and Zazuka together while he walked along in the background ignoring the two, could he do that now? Brian wasn't sure but didn't like thinking about it as he tried to think of something that would help him but failing to come up with anything. Inside his brain was racking with things that he couldn't say and now he felt his palms begin to persperate... he didn't understand why he was having so much difficulty getting a grip over himself. Brian tried to think of something else anything else that could help calm his mind down.

Why was everything starting to be like this? Would he be like this forever, or would he simply have to get use to lying all the time about his feelings even if he wasn't sure what those feelings were exactly. Brian realised there was something that could help him talk to Zazuka without feeling like he was going to die of frustration. At first Brian was a bit angry at himself but it helped and in a strange way Brian understood why, the thing that helped him talk with Zazuka was thinking about Andromeda which seemed to bring up similar but different feelings that seemed to cancel out the ones he was feeling for Zazuka and at the moment he would take what he could get.

 

[Zazuka Getathorn]

Zazuka could see, or tell that Brian was getting uncoftable but he had to know sometime. She didn't want to drop in the middle of class and have him wonder why. "Not the far future and not in a while. I was the first to know that Andy had gotten bitten. I dremt it. Felt it like it was me being hurt. Kailey woke me up and told me what had been going on while I was a sleep. It's the early stages. Dream telling, acute Empathy, scattered visions. I couldn't tell you what it all means though. I either don't have enough information or I don't remember." Zazuka said the turned way. Brian was usually so logical and upright. Would he believe anything she was saying?

Zazuka kept looking at him. She often told people that her eyes saw more aided by glass than those of people that didn't need them. This was one of those times where she was noticeing more. Why was Brian acting like this? Her attention was brought back by Brian's question. Zazuka wrapped her arms around her stomach while looking down. "I wouldn't be able to tell you. I rarely see him outside of class anymore." She said then bit her lip. Here was would come the 'I told you so' Zazuka now was so sure that he was spending time with that ginger haired Pez that it made her sick.

Hadn't Andrew told her he loved her? Hadn't she show time and again how much that meant to her? Zazuka even with all these feelings and clues that she got could not piece together if this was the end for her and Andrew. He kept ingoring her, canceling outings, only talking to her in class. On top of all the attacks that she had been getting and the death in the Great Hall. It was a wonder that frail lookling Zazuka was still standing. But then she had been taught all her life to keep going even if she was in the worst of pain.

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

"oh..." Brian said as Zazuka told him everything "sorry" Brian said as he thought about everything that had just been told to him, Kailey had known and didn't say anything. They had gone to the Yule Ball and all that time she couldn't say 'how's your friend, she been seeing the future anytime recently?' Brian didn't really think about it though because he didn't want too, they all seemed to have alot on thier plates recently "I'm sure he's just busy, you know school's been getting pretty rough" Brian said a bit doggedly as he kicked the ground slightly. Even though he didn't like Andrew that much he figured it would be better that they were together at least it would keep Brian and Zazuka apart, romantically speaking anyways.

"did you know Njord?" Brian asked trying to make sense of the recent trajady that had befallen the school, if his parents knew half the things he knew Brian was sure they wouldn't let him attend the school. Brian wondered if wizards mature faster than muggles, they had to be surrounded by all this magic all the time. With the magic however came witht he consequences that it brought like when man was given fire by the gods. "Do you wonder if sometimes it would have been better... to not have recieved our letters?" Brian asked wondering what Zazuka's honest opinion, she hadn't grown up the way Brian did and deep down Brian knew that it was alot better that she had recieved her letter rather than stay with her horrible family.

Brian however didn't come from that bad of a family, sure he was an only child that still didn't get alot of his parents attention but was that so bad? His parents had worked hard all of his life and had spent their nights going over cases but still teaching Brian things, like how to lie for instants or catch when other people are lying. His mother had taught him how to ballroom dance and they always celebrated his birthday, even if it wasn't always on the day of his birth. Brian's muggle life hadn't been bad and if he had never gotten his letter he'd probably be attending some private school that would prep him to be an outstanding muggle lawyer. Brian felt the slight pain in his head and heart as he wondered if he had made the right decision, if he'd ever made the right decision when it was his choice to make.

 

[Zazuka Getathorn]

Zazuka shook her head and smiled softly. "It's ok, a lot of the time it's not all that bad and I can push everything into the back of my mind so that it becomes white noise of sorts. It's just that resently..." Zazuka trailed off looking at the sky. Her eyes seemed to shimmer with the stars that would be up if it where dark but they seemed sadder them usual. Zazuka could feel the changed around her which would have something to do with the dark cloud she had been feeling lately. Could it be that she had felt this comming before anyone else did? Zazuka kept looking up until she seemed to realize that she wasn't alone again.

Njord. She had known him as a Prefect and talked to him from time to time though there was a time that she would crash into things every time she saw him. He had been a crush. It lasted about a week, giving up once she realized that Kailey was intrested in him. After that they had just been sort of professional friends. "He was Kailey's boyfriend. She's devestated, more than the rest of us are. We are practicly family her loss again is also as if it where my own." Zazuka said shaking her head. The Paramores where like family to her know. They had taken her in when Andy was away and treated her like she was one of thier own. All exsept the father who seemed to like to act like she wasn't there. Zazuka thought of how the family would take to Kailey's loss. Zazuka thought of what would have happened if she hadn't gotten her letter. "I would probobly be dead. Or worse I would have lived in fear of my father forever. Even if that wheren't the case I wouldn't trade meeting you or Andy for the world." She said letting a smile slip on her lips.

It was true. She treasured her friends. Brian and Andy where the first ones to teach her that life wasn't all that bad. That she didn't have to scared of the people around her. It was at Hogwarts that she lived the best times of her life and none of them where in her head. At Willow's Rain, she had lived in her imagenation because it was better than her reality. Here at Hogwarts she could live, really live, only going back into her mind when she was alone shivering from nightmares at night. She was greatful for this. It was because of them that Zazuka found the confidence to tell others her ideas. "Would you?" She asked. Brian had been her prince once upon a time and some did wonder what would have happened if she had kept that image of him. Would he trade thier friendship for life as a Muggle?

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

Brian paused for a moment not sure what he wanted to say, he of course didn't wasn't going to tell her that he'd spoken with Kailey shortly before she found out that the boy she had been dating had been killed by stupid pranksters. They had in fact talked about quite a few things that Brian for some reason did not want to bring up with Zazuka or Andromeda for that matter. Brian wondered if it was wrong to keep those that he claimed were his friends in the dark on such matters. Brian figured that things like these were best left up to him and that he would have the knowledge to make the right decision the information justified his decision not to tell Zazuka since the conversation Brian had with Kailey had been personal and it wouldn't be right for him to tell anyone else especially since Kailey was already feeling horrible.

As for whether or not he regretted receaving his letter Brian was once again placed in an aqward situation. His life would probably have been diferent if he had not attended Hogwarts, he probably wouldn't believe in Werewolves or magic. Brian would've went to a Private School in London and learned about pratical muggle things like math and English. Nobody at his school would've been attacked on a yearly basis and most likely nobody he knew would've died while attending the school. Brian wondered if he did regret ever opening his letter or allowing his parents to be talked into letting him come by the ministry representitive. Did the ministry lie by not telling his parents everything about the wizarding world? Brian could never be sure however he couldn't change the past and admitting his mixed feelings would only make Zazuka feel bad.

"No I don't regret recieving my letter at all" Brian said trying to believe it himself. Brian would've been different he couldn't deny that but in the end he also couldn't lie and say that he didn't like the person he had become. After all a great man had once said 'It is the challenges we face that makes us who we are' If Brian had not had to deal with everything that had occured in his life he probably would've gotten into trouble. That wasn't true on second thought Brian was a pretty good kid and never got in trouble but still, he definately would've been ignorant and Brian didn't enjoy that. "So what happens next?" Brian asked wondering if Zazuka had an answer for him, Brian had been searching for alot of answers recently and it didn't seem fair that he had to do it alone.

 

[Zazuka Getathorn]

Zazuka's eyes scanned Brian. She had been looking for an honest answer and she could tell when people where ling to her. Especially now that she seemed open to everything around her. It was tormenting her. Kailey's sorrow, the depression around the school, the feeling that things where only going to get worse. It all put a knot at her throat. Zazuka could tell that something had changed in Brian. Not all the changed where good. She could feel torment. Not as huge as hers but still it was there twisting like many whirlpools, confusing, conflicting and making him lie to her. She could understand why though.

"You would have had a good life had you not come to Hogwarts there is no doubt about that. It would have been a lonely one but still a good one. Had there not been magic in your veins you would have probably been blissfully unaware of death, magic, and things like Seers and Werewolves. I don't blame you for thinking what if you had never gotten your Hogwarts letter. You would have had a future either way." She said basing her risponce on what what Brian and her had talked about while they had still been talking. She was also reassuring him that he could tell her anything and she wouldn't take it the wrong way. She knew that Brian would never hurt her or never try to hurt her.

Zazuka laughed shaking her head. "How would I know? Even with this thing that plags me constantly I don't have all the answers. I do know one thing though." She said getting closer to Brian. Zazuka placed her hand on Brian's shoulder and whispered so no one else could hear. She didn't really know what it meant but she felt that if she didn't say it that things would never get resolved. "Whatever you choose to do. Things will turn out well in the end." With that her old sunshine smile came back for a moment. The stars in her pitch black eyes seemed to shimmer with secrets untold. Zazuka started to make her way back to the castle feeling strangely better now. She had to go look after Kailey anyway. She needed them and Zazuka couldn't be so selfish as to be out here mopping over something that she didn't even know what it was about.

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

Brian looked at Zazuka with a bit of frustration, Andromeda being a werewolf was a pretty easy thing to deal with since it really only effected the group once a month with the occasional moping, Zazuka being a seer was something different. Brian wanted to be able to keep things secretes yet how do you do that with someone that can see the future and possibly read minds? Brian felt a bit nervous as he was pretty sure that Zazuka wouldn't buy everything that he had said not if she truly was a Seer. Brian felt a bit stupid but couldn't say anything about what he and Kailey had spoken about or what he thought about when he thought of his 'other life'

As Zazuka spoke Brian felt nervous and an unusual heat appear in his head, here she was talking about what had just been in his head. Brian had to wonder if this was how every conversation would be. Had it always been like this and he was just too short sighted to notice? She had felt this for the past few years and hadn't told him anything about it while he had been relatively honest with her about everything. She had kept this hidden and Brian had no idea about it, he had thought that the pair of them were somewhat the same but now things had changed. Zazuka was a seer and Andromeda was a werewolf. Bran wondered if he was attracted to girls that were different and felt a bit weird about the whole thing.

Zazuka shrugged everything off by saying she didn't have the answers and yet Brian knew just how dead on her ability seemed to be, was she always using it? Then she whispered something that made the back of Brian's spine ice over. Zazuka could see the future and somehow would eventually know that Brian and Andromeda would end up together by the time they were sixteen, even more crazy is that she would be find with it... Brian didn't know why everything that had once seemed stable had decided to turn into a rattlesnakedragon but it was definately alot more than he thought he be able to handle. It didn't seem fair, destroying the journal was suppose to have set him free and yet it felt like the journal had cursed him with some jinx that was definately more powerfull then any of them.