Don't Look Down

[Stefan Archer]

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A third year. A teenager. Another year. It was unreal, it was happening, and it was unlike anything that had ever crossed his mind. There were doubts in his mind as to if he could handle it. This year, would be good. Hard, and he knew he'd have to work twice as hard as he did already to just be able to keep up with all the work he would have. That and he was taking three new classes. Overall, the slytherin knew the term would be difficult. How difficult, he would just have to wait and see, there was just a part of him that said, it was impossible. Most of his brain held strong to the idea that he would make it through. That he would pull through, that just everything else that faced the boy, he would come out the other side, fighting and breathing. Even though he believed little in himself, when it came to school, there was little doubt in the teenagers mind that he wouldn't be a success. Since his first year, his writing had improved greatly, and his right hand was almost as strong as the left. He only used the right, he knew he should use the left, but a part of him, was constantly reminding him, that using his left hand was forbidden, and no matter where he was, the boy would not go against a direct order set by his father. Despite being far away from him, there were just some things that he didn't do. His father would find out somehow, and being pretty perified of his father, the blue eyed boy would never do anything to go against him. Not even something that would in the long run probably help him. Unlike how he'd first planned, the Slytherin boy had not yet been to the hospital wing. He'd avoided the place like the plague, which meant his early thoughts of finding a cure for his sight had never been addressed. And he had no intention of addressing them. Being completely colourblind had it's disadvantages, but he was living with it, dealing with it. And while he knew it was hardly something hmost would want to keep a hold of, Stefan had grown used to it. He was close to claiming that he didn't need see colour. The Slytherin boy had thought that he'd ever want to keep the colourblindness, but he knew it wasn't going to change his father's opinion of him. That was one thing he'd given up on.

This was the start of a new term. Stefan Mason Archer was once again pleased to have lasted the summer. It was the first night back. And while he'd enjoyed the sorting ceremony, the boy had skipped out after starters. No one had noticed, or he believed no one had noticed. Coming back from his father's grasp at the start of each new term. He was always sent back to square one. But this year he had to make it different. He had to act less like he did at home, and more like a thirteen year old boy, who only had to worry about school, and girls. Not like his life at home, where school and girlswould probably get him seriously hurt. The start of a new term was always hard. He could barely eat anything. Because when he tried to eat he felt sick, he stuck to soup. And the smallest bits of bread. But anything was better than what he had at home, or more often what he didn't get. The Slytherin moved slowly. The intakes of breath were short, his ribs were sore, he was cure they were bruised. Underneath the Slytherin uniform, his front and back were a patchwork of brusies. He was glad for the uniform, it didn't hide how thin he was, but it hide everything else. However, his left hand had a large bandage around it. Which covered his palm, and wrist. On his fingers were a whole selection of tiny little cuts. His father had pushed his and in the process, Stefan Archer's hand had slammed into a mirror, that had smashed into pieces. Which Stefan had then had to clean up. Other than his hand, the only other thing visible, was bruise around his eye. it was a deep purple in colour, but there was no real swelling. It looked painful, but it really wasn't. Stefan didn't know why he'd decided to go to the North Tower. It was far from where he belonged, but the school was empty, and though dinner would now be over, he knew he would be undisturbed. Well, he thought he would be.

Walking towards the window, Stefan took a seat on the ledge, and let his eyes glance out. For a brief moment they looked down, and his heart hammered in his chest at the sheer height. All the colour from his already pale face was drained. His eyes snapped away from outside, and to the wall in front of him. He just stared. It was fairly dark, so he was having a little problem making out teverything in the corridor. but there was sufficient light, that Stefan wasn't completely blind. HThe deep blue eyes of the boy, stared blankly, as if not really seeing what was in front of him. Which would odd to most, but felt normal to Stefan. Sure he saw things, but the stone wasn't brown or Sandy coloured like it would be for others. It was a dark shade of grey. Stefan didn't mind that, it just meant he didn't always see. Like the houses, he could barely tell the difference between them. Which made things hard, since they knew what he was instantly, and he had to ask. It was why houses mattered little to him, but being Slytherin, he tended to be avoided. However his mind ignored the houses, and moved to how good a year he would make it. With his friends, and new friends. With his best friends. He would work hard, and be able to step closer to the freedom he so desired. Stefan Archer was ready for 3rd year.​

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[Alice Hills]

(OOC: I will let you know now, this post made me cry. I am having a bad day, but it was so well written.... )

For Alice, the thought of becoming a 2nd year was exhilerating. It seemed that everything she had ever started in her first year hadn't even been finished before the year was gone and she was whisked away into another one. It was amazing, her summer had been great, and right at the end, she had been accepted for a job at Ollivanders. This in itself was lovely, a good way to earn some more money, and also a perfect opportunity to meet new people. The amazingness of how quickly it had all gone by, made her smile every time. She knew that not everyone had had such an amazing break as her, and trying to be understanding about this was hard, but she was trying. She had already met a few new students and was trying to be as good a person to them as the older people were to her. In her first year, she had met a lot of people, but this had sort of faded. She knew people yes, but catching up with them had proved strange and hadn't seemed to work out. Then came the pressure this year of keeping up her excellent grades and continuing to be the outstanding Ravenclaw that the house expected of her. This year wasn't particularly big, but Alice knew that from the moment she arrived, it would bring challenges of its own to the table, and those she would have to deal with so as to not take forward to the next year she had.

The sorting ceremony had gone by quickly, and having watched all the new students be sorted, Alice had had a few nibbles, but decided to wander back to her common room before the rest of the school arrived. If there was one thing that Alice liked to be, that had to be organised. Scuffing her feet as she made her way slowly down the winding tower from the common room, she manoeuvred her sketch book in her hand to keep it from falling. Alongside the book, she also had her personal diary, one that her mother had brought for her that summer. The first entry was in August, and from there on, had one entry for every day/two days. It was encouraging to keep a diary, and recording her thoughts in it only inspired her to reread what she had already read later and see how she had matured she hoped. It was beautiful the diary, pink and purple threads woven into the cover to make the letter A. Her mother had been experimenting, and although she pushed it aside as a small gift that hadn't taken long, Alice loved it for the effort that had been put in. Running her fingers along the A, she found herself stopping at the bottom of the steps. If anything last year, alongside learning about magic, Alice had learnt that the stairs to the Ravenclaw tower weren't for the weak or tired. Laughing the thought away, she turned and mused on which way to go. Just as she was about to go back to another empty corridor, she found her gaze wandering to the North tower. Feeling an impulse to head over, she shrugged and wandered over.

Climbing the stairs to the place she knew so well, she began to think on what she would learn this year. Hopefully some new spells, and something that she could use when she was older. The time would one day come when she would have to choose special other subjects, and having the thought of these spinning around her mind, she continued the climb. Reaching the top, she paused at the sight of the open door, unsure of why someone else was up here. Pushing the thought aside that the door was the culprit to it all and the wind had blown it open, she rolled her eyes at her own paranoia, and pushed the door slightly wider to fit her slender frame through. She had always been small, that was obvious, and had even been mistaken a few times so far for a first year. Seeing as she had been one of those last year, the effect of the comment bounced off her, but she wished it wasn't so. Looking around the draughty area, her gaze fell upon a boy who looked a few years older than her, standing near the window. Wandering closer, she hovered near. Clearing her throat quietly to draw attention to herself, she smiled weakly and began to talk. "Im sorry, am i interrupting something? Do you want me to leave?" She rambled, taking a few steps closer to the door whilst her brain tried to figure out why someone was in here at this time. She didn't recognise him, but only seeing his back for now, she wondered who he was and what he was doing. Perhaps he was trying to avoid someone. Perhaps she was in the way. Perhaps she needed to go. Or perhaps he needed her to stay.

 

[Stefan Archer]

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There was a silence in the room, all that could really be heard, were the shallow sharp breaths of the small Teenager. A silence, he enjoyed far more than the one which he had grown used to in the past six weeks. Hogwarts was a place where silences didn't really last. There were so many people in the school, it was hard for people to not run into each other and start up conversation. It was why he actually liked Slytherin. There was little doubt in his mind that in any other house, the silence and the calm wouold not be there. Slytherin was odd like that, Stefan could spend hours sitting in his dorm room, and not a soul would care. Not one would even know he was there. He could blend in and be a part of the furniture. And not only would no one know, but no one cared. They were completely in different to him. He could be picking at a rather horrible cut and people would not bat an eyelid. It was just the way Slytherin was. And although they had a pretty poor reputation, he knew that he'd found the one thing that made it a good house. Something that most others didn't notice. Knowing that if he'd been a Gryffindor, or a Hufflepuff or even a Ravenclaw, there would've always been someone, who would see him, and force him to deal with everything. There would be constant noise, and questions, that he didn't feel comfortable answering. That line of thought was most likely unlike most. They would desire the company that the other houses gave. Find friends and allies within their own house, instead of deciding that silence was what they wanted, but then, he also knew that no one, was probably in the same situation as he was. No one was in a situation that was pretty much dire. It wasn't like his dad had money, so one part of his life could be okay. Money would mean warm sheets and heating, a little bit of food, but that wasn't his situation. He had neither a good home, or the money to make it bareable. His father had never really worked. And for this, Stefan knew he was the one that came out worse because of it. His father somehow managed to make a little more, enough to buy himself food and drink. But never enough so that Stefan could have a proper meal. His home life was very unlike everyone elses in this school, He knew that, and no one would have a life remotely like his.

Stefan Archer was no upset at this fact. Most of the time he was fairly pleased about it. It wasn't like he would wish is life upon anyone that he knew. MOst of the people in his life were good peple, and he knew they deserved more than what he had. Most people did. He thought that he would maybe deserve something more, but he didn't know. His father was always pretty clear, that everything Stefan had was already too much, that his father was too nice to him already and every punch he deserved. Stefan's mind was more a mess than before. He was glad for school, it would be the place where he could set it straight, his mind. His mind tended to fade into more thoughts of how he was going to be able to cope in school. How he was going to manage his time. Thoughts of his father were slow to fade, but as they did things were easier. They felt lighter. He was able to create memories, so that if he didn't last the next holiday, someone would remember him. They didn't have to care, or want to find him, they just had to remember him, who he was. It wasn't to hard to ask. He'd met many people. There was Kate, and Sara, and Willow. His three best friends, and Kate, felt like so much more to him. Like she more than just another friend. He liked her a lot. A lot more than he would say. But, he knew he could never say, he was pretty sure she would not feel the same way as he did. She was beautiful to him, and she was perfect. And Stefan, was colourblind, from a bad background. She was too good for him. Why he was happy to be best friends, nothing more. but, he hadn't seen her in a while. He'd pretty much taken a large step away from the world, and just worked. Now as a third year, he needed to do more. Be more a part of the world, he'd eventually become a part of. If not now, in years to come when all others would be enjoying not having to attend school, he would have to face the entire world practically alone. Moving on to the next after school, Stefan had a feeling he would be able to cclose the chapter on his father. However right now, he wass okay with pretending that his life was a little more perfect than it actually was. However his mind quickly stopped everything when a voice sounded in the room.

Stefan Archer had been so lost in his thoughts he had forgotten wheree he was sitting. He glanced quickly outside, and like before his heart raced, and he felt a small surge of panic within in. He took a few deep breaths as deep as he could take them, before looking round to where the voice had been. Standing just near the door was a girl, a little younger than him. She seemed nice, by the look of her, but, with the shock of no longer being alone and the mistake of looking out the window, the dark blue eyes looked scared. His heart was hammering away at his chest, and his ribs felt stiff. As he attempt to control the breathing. Stefan, glanced the girl over once as she spoke. Stefan shook his head. "You don't have to." Was all he said, his voice was soft, he didn't really know what else to say. He looked at the girl briefly meeting her eyes, before returning his gaze to the ground around his feet. The silence returned to the room, the only thing he could hear, was his own sharp breaths. Stefan looked round to her, and attempted to smile. "How come your not at the feast?" Stefan asked, knowing she could ask him the same thing. But he didn't why she was there, and who she was. Small conversation would be best. Make things feel less awkward. He tugged at the bandage around his hand nervously. He kept his head down, only meeting her eyes every so often. Hoping she wouldn't notice the bruise around his eye. He didn't know how visible it was. To him it was a dark grey colour, but in this light he had no idea. He just sat waiting, hoping the girl would have more to say than he did.​

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[Alice Hills]

(OOC: Sorry its not much, im in a bit of a rush.)

Standing awkwardly in the corner, Alice began to wonder what year or house the boy was in. She didn't recognise him from her own house, but perhaps he wasn't in her house. Perhaps he was in another house. He could be anyone from any year, but there was something about the situation that made Alice think she knew him somehow. As the boy turned around, she stood there, her mouth open in shock. There was a purpleish bruise across his eye and he looked weak and tired. A wave of sadness overtook her, and biting her lip to stop her saying anything, she nodded and stopped moving towards the door. The question he asked reverberated around the room until Alice realised she had to say something. "Um i wanted some peace. Somewhere to write or draw, before everything falls back into the full swing of school life. If you know what i mean..." She stopped, her voice falling away as she tried to think of what else to say or do. Her dark eyes darted to his hand where he was fiddling with something, recognising it from her dads profession as a bandage, she bit her lip before twiddling her own bag. She didn't have much to say today, and unsure of whether he would want to talk or not, she smiled weakly.


"How about you?" The lame words fell out mechanically. She didn't mean them to be some robotic, but unsure of what sort of a person he was, she hovered quietly near the corner. Her confidence starting to return a little as he didn't speak much, she took a small breath and smiled warmly. "Im Alice. Im a first year Ravenclaw." She began, before realising that that didn't make sense. "No, im a second year Ravenclaw. Im sorry, i still can't quite realise that i am a second year, it feels like only a few weeks ago that i was a first year, and i still am not sure how to get my head around it." Realising that she was rambling, she cut herself off suddenly, leaving an echoing silence around the area. Looking down, she waited for him to say something. Wanting to ask about his bandages and injuries, she stepped froward a few steps to stand in the light where she could see him more clearly. "Are you alright?" She asked, her voice full of concern and pure worry. Pointing to his face subtly, she realised that it hadn't come out the right way. "I mean.... I mean..." Stopping herself suddenly again before she began to ramble, she paused and looked down, the barrier of awkwardness arising between them again. She wasn't normally that shy or confused, but the lack of things to say made her so and this seemed to make her become what she wasn't. If only he would say a little more, if only she could read peoples minds then all would be well, and there would be no need for the awkward words.

 

[Stefan Archer]

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Obviously in his time at Hogwarts, certain things had become pretty clear. There were people who could care. That not everyone had nothing. And were willing to try to help Stefan. But Stefan had one major problem with this, he didn't think he deserved the help they offered. Like this girl in front of him, as much as he wanted to trust her completely. To not second guess himself and wonder about his own worth. He didn't have people to care for him, no helping hands. New people for him, were often scary. He never wanted to admit it, not to people. They wouldn't understand. How could a boy at his not trust those around him, especially when they tried to help him. It was like Hogwarts itself, even though he'd spent the past two years at the school, and experienced so much at it, there was still a part of him, that didn't believe it to be true. That something this good couldn't happen to someone like him. And then another part of him, was deathly afraid of it being taken away. For him to lose everything that he had at the school. The people, the education, and the tunnel to freedom. A taste of the sweet life. But as a third year he was still at the school, and if it was somehow possible his father seemed to not even care about it. They were in a routine. He'd go to school, and then return, his father would be angry about something, or just upset and take it out on Stefan, then Stefan would return to school. Picking up the pieces of what was left of his life, soul and hope. Stefan Archer spent the first of school, getting used to everything again. Putting himself back together. Because no matter how hard he tried his father seemed to just be able to break everything down, and drag Stefan back to feeling like nothing. Like he didn't matter. This was why, at school, when faced with new people, Stefan waited until he knew he could trust them, that they wouldn't try to go behind his back and hurt him. That they would be loyal. Stefan didn't need halfhearted friends.

But as the girl spoke, at first and then asking him, he realised that she was probably no threat to him. She was just a young girl, who through sheer bad luck, had ended up in the same room as Stefan Archer. Not something to be particular happy with. Stefan was not anti-social, but he knew that when others saw him, especially in the state he was in. Thin, weak, tired. Bruised, and clearly hurting. This wasn't what they looked for in friends. Stability was one thing he could not offer. His home life so turbulent that trying to keep the two separate took up most of his energy. And there was not much of that. Stefan glanced to the girl, and gave a light shrug. "I wasn't hungry." He muttered quietly. His voice was soft, as if he was unsure of it. As if he hadn't heard it in a while, and wanted to be sure the right sounds came out. As much as the girl would probably not believe him, consider his very thin frame. He wasn't hungry. He had to slowly ease into it. But no one understood that. No one knew what it was like. No one would ever know. He hoped that. But, he could in the small moments of silence that were caused solely by him, that she was at least friendly, and growing in confidence. The girl introduced herself. Alice, a ravenclaw. Second year. He smiled weakly at her. Although he showed no signs of actually being happy. Or pleased. Stefan was in pain. And he had to fight through it to appear normal. And then Alice, asked the inevitable question. Are you alright. The short answer that was honest and right, was no. But, his answer, would always be yes. No matter how bad it got or how awful he felt. The people around him, they could never know. He didn't want to break the illusion they had of a perfect world. Where parents didn't care. And that hope was they only thing keeping a person going. Through the cold months of winter, and the nights when the pain was just unbearable. "Yeah, I fell down. Yesterday. It's nothing serious." He lied. His problems were his, and though he was not a good liar. He couldn't talk about it. It was just not something he could just openly was a random person. He was ashamed that he could let something happen to himself. And he deserved it. But people wouldn't understand.

"I'll be fine. It looks worse than it is." He nodded. As if telling himself rather than her. "I'm Stefan, Stefan Archer. 3rd year Slytherin." His eyes briefly looked up and met hers, waiting for the reaction about hearing his house. He was sure the worry that had been in her voice would instantly fade. "I still can't believe I'm a third year. It's surreal" He looked away from her and back to his hands. The sharp breaths, making it painful for him. It was clear to him, however surreal third year felt, that he had to make this year the best year possible. So that the memories would help him through his summer, and lead him on the path of freedom.​

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