Closed Difficult Conversations

[Jerara Tapsell]

The ravenclaw prefect had been a bit in denial about the future. He knew he needed to have a conversation with Ellie about what the future was for them. He liked Ellie a lot, he loved her. He knew that he wasn’t the best at showing it, or was occasionally forgetful about their relationship when he was studying too much. He didn’t think he could ever like anyone else, but Jerara knew that their lives were at different points now. Jerara was going to still be in school and Ellie would be out in the world doing everything that she wanted. Everything that would make the world better. He didn’t want to be the reason that she second guessed herself or opted to not do something on the odd chance that it would stop him or them from happening. So, after work one day, Jerara had sent Ellie a note saying the needed to talk and had asked her to meet him at a bench not far from his work. He had gathered up some of the sweets that he knew Ellie liked and a small coffee for him to drink. He noted that when he got to the bench he was the first of them to arrive. He didn’t mind, he sat down and sipped the coffee, his leg nervously bouncing underneath him. This was an important conversation that he needed to have with his girlfriend about their future. ​

 

[Eleanor Hope]

Eleanor's time at Hogwarts had seemed to come and go quickly. She couldn't believe that she was already out in the real world. This would mean having to spend some time on herself as she figured out what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. It was quite a daunting decision but Ellie tried her best to stay positive. She was only young and there were plenty of opportunities out there for her. However, she knew that it would be hard to focus on herself when she had Jerara on her mind. She was not going to be able to see him as much anymore since he was still at Hogwarts for another two years and he would have to attend the Yule Balls on his own. Ellie was unsure how she would cope knowing that she had to leave Jerara. When she had received a note from Jerara telling her they needed to talk she suddenly felt very nervous. She was happy to meet him and discuss what he wanted to but there were plenty of thoughts that made her believe that whatever he wanted to see her for was not good. He wouldn't have written the note as he did if it wasn't something serious.

Eleanor walked down the cold streets of Brightstone village with her hands in the pockets of her coat, heading towards the place where Jerara had said they should meet. He was already there with a cup of coffee and a bag of sweets in his hand. She felt a bit more comfortable with the presence of sweets and smiled slightly at him as she sat down beside him on the bench. "Hey!" she exclaimed, trying not to make it obvious that she was nervous. "What did you want to talk about?"

 

[Jerara Tapsell]

Jerara smiled when he spotted Ellie. He raised a hand and waved slightly at her. He wasn’t sure how to even talk about it, he didn’t particularly want to break up with her, but he didn’t know if that was the right thing to do. The boy liked Ellie a lot, he loved her, but he didn’t know if it would be right to stay together. He held out the sweets to her, ”Hey,” he said with a soft expression, taking a small sip of his coffee. ”Well, us, really,” Jerara smiled at her, he didn’t know how to bring it up without making it seem like he didn’t care about her or care about them. Jerara took another sip of his coffee almost to stall the amount of time between what he’d said and the conversation that would follow. ​

​

”I don’t want to hold you back Ellie,” the boy kept his gaze on his coffee, ”You’ve graduated, you can go do and be whatever you want, I’ll be stuck in school for the next two years, we’ll be apart,” Jerara sighed a little, he didn’t know if he was explaining what he needed well at all. Afterall, it was a complex issue that he wasn’t sure he was entirely right about. Maybe they could stay together and it would be fine, but maybe them staying together would only cause issues between them? There would be a distance, and if in her pursuit of whatever she wanted post school, what if Ellie found someone else? He didn’t want them to still be together when there was the distance or change of something else for either. ”You know I love you Ellie,” he just ended on, meeting her gaze with a smile, he did think it was important to say, he did still love her, and that hadn’t brought this on.​

 

[Eleanor Hope]

Eleanor was happy that Jerara had bought sweets along. She thanked him before popping one into her mouth as he spoke. She listened to him, nodding as he spoke about not wanting to hold her back and the distance that will be between them for the next two years. Ellie understood, but if letting go completely was the only option simply because they were in different years at school she wasn't sure that she could do that. Jerara was one of the best things to happen to her and she couldn't imagine a relationship with anyone else. "I love you too." she replied to him. "We can still write to each other. I'll write to you everyday, I promise." She took a deep breath, not wanting to say what she was going to say next but knowing that it needed to be said. "I understand though, and you have to study for your NEWTs and everything too, so maybe we could like... go on a break? Not break up, but just... not be together at the same time?" Ellie wasn't really sure how to explain it but hoped that Jerara would understand and they could mutually come to a decision that would be best for both of them.

 

[Jerara Tapsell]

Jerara felt reassured a little that Ellie didn't just want to break up. He had been a little fearful that she would take the opportunity and out he was giving to her and run with it. Which he wouldn't really be able to complain about really. He had opened that door for her to do so, and wouldn't have really stopped her if she'd taken it, but Jerara felt reassured that she didn't want to take it. He smiled softly at her as she said she loved him too, and felt his shoulder sigh a little from it. He didn't know if writing every day would help them, he was often forgetful and he didn't want Ellie to feel like she would have to write to him if she was busy too. "Maybe not everyday, but we should still write, I'd always want to know what the wonderful ellie is doing," he said to her sincerely. He was more than certain that while he was stuck in school she would be out making all of the difference in the world. They would and had to discuss what happened between them, leaving things up in the air with no clarity wouldn't help them even if they were a couple who loved each other. ​

​

Jerara took a sip of his coffee and she continued. A break, that sounded good. He wasn't sure what it meant, did they just stop saying that they were together, were they to stop with the exclamations of love, go back to being friends until a time when they could be sure they'd be able to continue. "A break?" he repeated, "So we're no longer boyfriend and girlfriend, but when I graduate we can sit and talk about if we want to get back together?" he hoped he was understanding it right. He didn't have much interest in dating anyone else. He liked ellie and Jerara didn't think he would end up dating anyone else regardless, of if this whole break allowed them too. "I don't want to break up really, but if a break means that when I graduate we could get back together, if we both felt the same way, I'd like it," maybe in the two years things would change for one of them, but he knew this was the best way to break up without having to in that instance. ​

 

[Eleanor Hope]

Ellie nodded as Jerara said they shouldn't write to each other everyday. She was silly to think that the pair of them would even have time to, especially considering Jerara would be in his last years of school and Ellie would be off doing Merlin knows what. "Oh, yeah. I guess writing everyday would get boring too, and we wouldn't have much to write about each time if we do it that way." Ellie said with a shrug. She wanted to know what Jerara managed to get up to as well and maybe if they sent letters every few weeks there would be more content in one letter and more to get excited about each time she opened one.

Ellie nodded in response to Jerara's question. "Yeah, if we both still feel the same way then I would like to get back together too. But for now we can just send letters and we don't have to worry about each other as much." Ellie told him with a reassuring smile. She knew that she would still worry about him nonetheless, but if they were on a break then maybe it would help to get her mind off him more. "I really don't want to break up either, so I think this could be a good idea." she added. "But I will miss the candy." Ellie chuckled as she reached for another one, popping it into her mouth. Free candy was definitely a perk with Jerara and being apart from him was going to be hard, but Ellie was sure that the both of them could get through it.

 

[Jerara Tapsell]

Jerara would’ve happily read a letter from Ellie every day but he knew he would unable to return anything as frequently, he had so much that would need done and focus on. He could promise an every other day letter, ”I’ll be sure to keep you up to date on everything that’s happening,” Jerara smiled at her, ”I’ll even go to the quidditch games just so you know who won,” the teen chuckled lightly, he knew that Ellie hadn’t been the world biggest quidditch fan, but he could imagine that hearing a little about it would help move on from it a bit. He had never cared for the sport, but without Ellie to spend the time with he knew he’d need to fill some of those hours somehow, god how lonely was school going to be without her?​

​

Jerara nodded as she answered the question. He didn’t think he would ever not worry about her a little, not while all of his feelings for her lingered. He’d need to just deal with it. The teen smiled softly at her, ”Okay, I’ll miss you though Ellie,” He wouldn’t not miss her and he put his arm around her as she talked about the candy, he held her close, they could probably enjoy this last moment before they went their own ways, ”What are you going to do with yourself now?” he asked curious, ”Are you applying for jobs right now?” Jerara hadn’t asked these questions nearly as much as he might’ve had had he not somewhat feared that it would mean the end of them. But that discussion had already been had, so all they could do now was talk about the future and before they parted, on a break from each other. He knew he’d hear about it whenever she said letters, but he thought it would be nice to have one last nice conversation.​

 

[Eleanor Hope]

Ellie was happy that Jerara assured her that he would keep her up to date with his life. She never cared much for quidditch and didn't think Jerara did either, but was excited to read Jerara's thoughts on it. "I would love that." she told him, figuring she might as well know about it anyway. She couldn't help but feel relieved that Jerara had understood what she wanted and that meant they could agree on it mutually. She smiled as he told her he would still miss her. "Well yeah, I will miss you too." she said.

Ellie felt comfortable as he put his arm around her. It felt safe and like there was nothing to worry about and Ellie was thankful for this assurance. "I don't know." Eleanor replied with a shrug to his question. "I want to keep growing plants... maybe become a Herbologist or something. But it's kind of a dangerous job, don't you think? And I'm not sure if I can do it." Eleanor was completely unsure what she wanted to do with plants and becoming a Herbologist seemed very far fetched. It seemed like such a big job and Ellie only wanted to start off small to begin with.