Closed Blame It on My Youth

[Theia Carnahan]

Set on the platform for the NZ Express!​

As Theia stepped onto the train platform, her heart felt overwhelmingly heavy and her stomach swirled with sadness. For her entire life she had anticipated boarding the train to Hogwarts and beginning the rest of her life. It was a step that would lead to the amazing witch she wanted to be, that symbolized the start of her learning and a step she always thought she would take as she held hands with her mother. But she was instead standing on the platform with the handle of her trunk in hand, and the rest of her family behind her. A realization that caused tears to form in her eyes. In the space of one year her entire life had changed and she reminded herself everything was different now. Even if she wished with every fiber of her being for her life to return to the way it once was, her mother was gone and she was made to take this step on her own. To move forward into a new stage of her life trying to be strong regardless of the madness happening around her.​

Sniffling, Theia wheeled her trunk to a stop, and wiped her face with her sleeve as she turned to face her family. Boarding the train to Hogwarts was meant to be a happy moment, with proud families watching as their children left excited for their education. Despite her mother not being with her, and her expectation to be disappointed with the moment that was about to unfold, Theia wanted to feel like the rest of the children going to Hogwarts. She sniffled again as she looked up to her dad for guidance, ready to begin saying her goodbyes.​

 

[Marcus Carnahan]

It was a milestone seeing a child off to Hogwarts for the first time, more so when the child was your eldest. Marcus had been awaiting that day for years knowing it was the beginning of a new phase for all his children, the start of them inevitably growing up. With Theia starting school, it was only one year before Sawyer followed in her footsteps, and a few more years after that before his two youngest would also be on their way to Hogwarts. Soon enough the life Marcus knew, full of silliness and games, and the laughter of all his children would change and it made him want to cherish this time while he could. These moments were precious, and in spite of all the hardship of the last year Marcus was intent on keeping everyone’s happiness while he could.​

Walking a few steps behind Theia and with the rest of the family, while carrying Felix, his second youngest, on his shoulders, Marcus kept a smile on his face, reveling in the atmosphere of excitement buzzing around them. However, as Theia turned around wiping tears from her face and sniffling, Marcus realised the moment was different for her and his heart sank. A new school year meant many things and to have such an important time in Theia’s life be ruined by all that had happened in the last year was the last thing he wanted. At a loss of how else to react, when Theia looked up to him, Marcus placed Felix on the ground and leaned down to Theia’s height. He quickly pretended to pull a galleon from behind her ear, and showed it to her, hoping his small trick would bring a smile to her face. “Don’t spend it all at once.” He joked, handing her the galleon before returned to his full height and smiled, tousling Felix’s hair. Theia, in all the ways she resembled her mother, was driven and responsible, and in leaving for Hogwarts, she deserved more than the burden of her mother’s passing ruining what should be an exciting adventure. His gesture was small but he was optimistic this would be enough for her to feel better.​

 

[Sawyer Carnahan]

Sawyer had been following along behind Theia with Dad, making faces at Felix anytime he looked his way, just in case Felix got any lofty ideas about being taller for awhile. It was a good distraction from staring at the back of Theia's trunk as she pulled it behind her. The trunk had been a steady reminder of Theia's impending departure all winter, and Sawyer would be glad to see the last of it if only it didn't mean Theia going with it.

Finally they came to a halt on the platform and Sawyer tried to focus on lording his regained height advantage on Felix so he could pretend he wasn't watching Theia quietly crying. Or Dad's attempt to cheer her up. "You probably could have held out for more if you cried back at the house," Sawyer said softly, moving awkwardly shuffle his shoulder at Theia's side in lieu of a hug. It sucked that Theia was going away, but, unwittingly or not, Sawyer probably felt the same way Dad did right now; The last thing he wanted was his last look at Theia for the next several months to be of her crying. Placing his hands on Theia's shoulders solemnly so he could quickly mouth "take me with you" while Dad couldn't see his face, Sawyer pulled his sister into a quick hug. "I'll write to you, so you'll know the house hasn't immediately collapsed without you. At least not right away." Sawyer said, trying to at least ease a bit of Theia's probable fears.

 

[Theia Carnahan]

As Theia expected, she was disappointed with the moment that unfolded, as her dad pretended to pull a galleon from behind her ear rather than comfort her how she wanted. It was silly for her to expect differently, and she should have realised this. As if her dad would be able to read her mind and do something to comfort her minutes before she would be leaving for Hogwarts. Instead all she had gotten was a stupid trick and a galleon, a gimmick, to tide her over from feeling homesick and alone. Trying not to show her disappointment, lest ruining her last moment with her family for the next few months, Theia sniffled again, and wiped her face with her sleeve another time before she accepted the coin. “Thanks… Dad.” She uttered, frowning a little as she placed the galleon in her pocket, with no intention of spending it.​

​

Theia snorted at Sawyer’s next comment, but was relieved at the distraction from all that was happening. “Maybe. But one is enough." She answered, a small smile making its way on to her face in spite of the tears. Theia already knew how much she would miss Sawyer, and really did wish it was possible for him to join her at Hogwarts a year early, but she knew it wasn’t, and couldn’t help but shake her head before Sawyer pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around Sawyer, squeezing her brother back and refusing to let him go for a little while. “I’m going to miss you a lot, alright, I’ll write to you as soon as I’m in my dorm before bed.” Theia promised as she pulled away from Sawyer, before she looked to both her other siblings, giving them quick hugs and goodbyes. “I guess this is it then, I’ll let you guys know what house I get sorted into, and everything.” Theia nodded, moving her hand to the handle of her trunk, ready to begin boarding the train. Though she waited for another moment, in case her family wanted to say one last thing before she left.​

 

[Marcus Carnahan]

Theia accepted the galleon at least, which was all Marcus could really hope for. In such an important moment when he was sure the entire family was likely feeling mixed emotions, it seemed as if his gesture had fulfilled its purpose of cheering Theia up slightly, and lightening the mood for everyone as they said goodbye to her, unable to see her until she returned from her first semester at school. Marcus watched on as Sawyer said goodbye to Theia, smiling as Theia then said goodbye to everyone else. When all the goodbyes were said and done, Marcus placed his hands on his hips, proud that Theia was finally setting off on a new adventure at hogwarts, and proud of the person she would ultimately become. He couldn’t tell the future or predict how Theia would grow up, but he could tell he would always be proud of her, and had nothing but high hopes for the next seven years of her schooling “Best of luck kiddo.” He said, nodding his head as Theia got ready to board the train.​

 

[Sawyer Carnahan]

Sawyer let the hug with Theia linger a bit longer, not willing to pull away just yet even if the overt display was a bit much for him. He could feel the lingering urge to make some dumb joke in Theia's ear rising, but could also feel the slight damp patch from where Theia had been crying. Pushing both away, he gave Theia one final squeeze as she stepped back, finding it hard to swallow that he wouldn't be seeing her for at least three months. "Room's gonna be quiet with you," He said, softly. "Maybe I'll finally get some peace," Sawyer added quickly, though he didn't believe it. He gave Theia one last little affectionate nudge before she had to start making her way on the train. He was kind of looking forward to not sharing a room for once, even just a few months, but something told Sawyer he was going to miss having Theia's constant presence sooner rather than later.

Taking his spot with his Dad and the rest of their siblings, Sawyer gave Theia one last thumbs up before waving her off. She would write and they'd see her for the holiday break, she'd fine. Theia was always fine.