Better late than never.

[Steph Shirley]

Steph had sent a note to Alex's dorm, asking him to meet her in the sixth floor. She wanted to talk to him, mainly about Harri. Steph was supposed to talk to Alex about how Harri liked him, but that was months ago, and alot had happened. Steph never got round to it.
Now Harri was gone, Steph wanted to talk to Alex, to find out if he felt the same. In all honesty, she just wanted to talk about Harri. Because talking about Harri made Steph feel she wasnt so alone, and that she still had one person who cared about her.

She pulled her shorts down slightly, and sat on a window sil. She hadnt got any make up on, and she hadnt bothered with her hair. She looked terrible, but she felt worse. Her heart was shattered, she didnt eat, barely slept, and as a result, she was looking thin, very very thin, and had bags under her eyes. But she hadnt noticed, she had just sat in her dorm, reading her old diarys, and looking through her many photo albums. She just wanted everything back to how it was..

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex had just been sitting in his dorm, studying when a note came to him from Steph. He sighed, wondering what she wanted him for and hoped to all heavens, it wasn't going to be about Harri. Just talking about her made him upset. He shoved on his trainers, knowing he wasn't looking the best right now but he wasn't gonna bother. Walking up slowly, he noticed Steph sitting on a window sill.
As he got closer, he could see Steph looking really bad. Chewing his bottom lip, he stopped before her. 'Hey Steph. You ok?'he asked kindly enough.

 

[Steph Shirley]

Steph was looking down, her eyes hazy. Her thoughts were on Aiden, she had never got over him, and she missed him a lot, almost as much as she missed Harri. When she heard footsteps she looked up, and saw Alex. She smiled weakly. 'Alex, im, im getting by. What about you?' She kept her voice steady, not shaky or too quiet. Steph tried to act as though everything was normal.

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex smiled. 'You sure Steph? It's not good for a person to linger on the past so much'He said, trying to give her some advice. He knew by experience after all. 'I'm fine, as usual'he lied, though he was still better than Steph looked.

 

[Steph Shirley]

Steph looked down again, 'Yes, im fine.' She said, her voice flat. She didnt want to look at Alex when she lied, she was a rubbish liar. It's not good for a person to linger on the past so much, her throat clogged a little, she cleared her throat and looked up.

I'm fine, as usual Steph didnt know whether or not to believe him, but she was lying to him, so if Alex was lying to her, she shouldnt pry.

'I just wanted to talk to you about.. something.' She said quietly, wondering if this was such a good idea.

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex smiled as she said she wanted to talk about soemthing with him. His mood lifted as he was glad someone actually wanted to talk to him. 'Shoot'he said smiling.

 

[Steph Shirley]

Steph looked up, seeing Alex's smile, she smiled also. 'I just, need to know something.' Her smile faded a little, 'It was just before christmas, i was talking to Harri. She told me something, she told me she really liked you. I said i'd talk to you, see if you felt the same. But so much happened, Alex died, Aiden broke up with me and left without a goodbye. I never got round to it, and now i feel so guilty, because if you did feel the same, and you had told me, something might of happened between you two, but i never spoke to you. Its my fault she was unhappy.'
Steph had looked down, rubbing her head, trying to think, trying to get rid of the ache in her chest.

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex suddenly heard what Steph was saying. The smile of his face faded. Oh great, she doesn't know and she thinks she's unhappy. Why does practically everyone I know in this school unhappy with something that includes me. Alex thought, feeling even more guilty now. 'Not your fault Steph. My fault. She told me herself, me and my curiosity.'Alex rolled his eyes at this, shamed. 'But yeah, she was pretty upset I told her no'Alex scratched the bottom of his left jaw bone uneasy from the guilt in his stomach now. Not only had he upset harri then but Steph thought it was her fault that Harri was upset.

 

[Steph Shirley]

'She told you?' Steph looked up, a look of confusion on her face, 'She never mentioned it to me,' She said quietly, looking down again.
'You didnt feel the same?' She asked, still staring at the floor.

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex sighed. 'Maybe she just didn't want to tell you'he offered before shaking his head. 'Harri was a good freind Steph. I never felt anything mroe than that'he explained, wondering why he was having this conversation again.

 

[Steph Shirley]

'But.. you kissed her,' Steph said simply, looking up, looking ight into his eyes. 'If you never felt anything more than friendship, why did you kiss her?'

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex felt uneasy about that. He really had no idea why he had done that either. Maybe it was to make Harri happy. He wasn't sure himself. Just the spur of the moment. He shrugged under her gaze. 'I don't know Steph. It..it just happened'Alex said back to her, shoving his hands in his pockets.

 

[Steph Shirley]

Steph shook her head a little, she was biting her lip, trying so hard not to cry.

'I guess i can understand that,' She said slowly, looking at the floor. 'Alex, im leaving. Theres nothing here for me anymore, i found out ive got some cousins, im going to go live with them. I cant stay here.' She told him, looking up at him. 'I guess i just wanted to tell you, because i know were not close or anything, but your still my friend.'

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex thought she was joking at first. She couldn't be serious, could she? I mean, how many people that Alex knew were leaving now. Alex couldn't, no, wouldn't believe this. 'Steph, you're joking right? You can't be serious. I mean..'Alex said struggling to find out what he was actually meaning. He looked at Steph seeing that she wasn't joking. 'Good luck then. Steph. I'm sorry there's nothing for you here now'Alex said, feeling another balloon popping.

 

[Steph Shirley]

'Im sorry,' Steph muttered. 'I cant stay here, the lonliness is killing me, the memories.. everything is destroying me. I cant take it..' She couldnt carry on, a tear rolled down her cheek. 'Damn it,' She whispered, wiping it away quickly.

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex bit his lip as Steph was on the verge of tears in front of him. 'Steph. It's get better trust me. Over time, the memories go back in your mind and you get on with life. Time though, is precious. Just make sure your not wasting it'Alex told her smiling a bit.

 

[Steph Shirley]

'How is it gonna get better if ive got no one to help me through?' Steph asked him, the question was directed to herself more than Alex, she couldnt see any happiness in her future.
'I dont know whats going on in my head,' She said loudly, burying her head in her hands. She was ashamed of her behaviour, and how she was breaking down infront of Alex, when she had intended to talk about Harri, not herself.

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex sighed. 'Coz it just does Steph. You aren't even gonna give it a try. I lived in the highlands for 3 years on my own. I didn't have any one and it got better'He said, before shutting himself up. Those were years in his life which he didn't want people knowing about. He looked at Steph and felt sorry for her. He hated seeing anyone like that, especially someone he knew. 'Well, I can't exactly help you there, Steph. But things work out. Unless your me of course, who is on the run from St.Mungos'Alex joked at the end, trying to make Steph a bit brighter.