And then there was Silence

I

Isabella Ormonde

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OOC First Name
Linda
Wand
Padua - Aoaman Wood wand with essence of Griffin feather 10 3/4 inch
Yema apparated to the hospital and barged her way through still with Isabella’s slumped body in her arms.

“I need help here, Corinne Kolpeck” she called out. Bella groaned coming too momentarily as the pain in her stomach increased and made her cry out even louder. Yema tried to comfort her but knew nothing she could say or do at this point would be any good. A nurse was sending for the mid wife almost immediately while another pulled over a stretcher and helped to lay Bella on to it.

Yema was nearly beside herself, frantic at not being more helpful. Wanting desperately to be able to do more but knowing this kind of thing was out of her hands.
 
Corinne looked up from her desk as the nurse knocked frantically then bustled in without waiting for a reply.
“You’re needed urgently” she ran without waiting for the midwife, her superior.

Corinne dropped her pen and ran after her, her heart almost broke when she saw Isabella on the stretcher.
“ I’ll take it from here” she said and with the help of an orderly took Isabella to the operating room.
 
Yema feeling that she could do no more went back to the shopping mall to retrieve Miss Isabella’s things. It seemed as if only minutes had passed from when she had left, the couple were still there. She chose to ignore them and picking up each item she simply glowered at them both.
“I hope you will both be very happy in your lives together. You’ll soon be free, no ties to the Miss any more” she all but spat at Izaak before turning to look at the whippet beside him, “I hope someday you feel what she feels, the pain and agony she is going through right now. I hope you feel it with double the feeling”
Yema said it as if she were laying a hex on the girl. Refusing to stay any longer in their vile company she apparated back to the Leaky Cauldron to return Isabella’s shopping. Once it was safely ensconced in her room, she gathered some of her things and packing a small bag returned to the hospital.

Yema sat in the waiting room, the hands ticked by slowly on the wall clock. Much too slowly.
Bella was given a potion to knock her out almost as soon as she was brought into the operating room. As the mid-wife worked diligently over her, she was blissfully unaware
That one of the top healers at the hospital was called upon to help. An hour had soon passed and Yema had now taken to pacing the waiting room.
 
Corinne was determined not to lose either of them but the baby was too young, she would never survive at this age outside the womb. She sent for her father, the Master Healer hoping that he could intervene. Time seemed to be against them and by the time her father arrived it was too late. Corinne’s eyes looked up at him and she shook her head. As professional as she should have been she allowed the tears to fall as she went to her father.
 
Samson very rarely received any missive from his daughter wanting him to assist in a case so was mildly intrigued when he got the word that she needed him. Donning his doctors robes he entered the operating room, scrubbed up and masked but it appeared all too little, too late. His daughter was utterly devastated. He wrapped his arms about her, she never allowed herself to get close to any of her patients for this very reason. Samson glanced over at the woman on the stretcher as two of the nurses worked to clean and sanitize the area. The tiny body was wrapped with care, it was barely a palm width. His own eyes began to fill as well. It had been a long time that he had witnessed the death of such an innocent and it tore at him. The mother was still unconscious and they would leave her like that for a while. Merlin only knew how she would be when she did wake to such devastating news.
 
Bella woke slowly it seemed as if she had slept for hours, absolute hours. She felt frail, weak disorientated. Something was different but she didn’t know what, could not put her finger on it. Lying in the bed she glanced out the window, she was in hospital. With minute degrees of realization she remembered the mall, the pain, Yema, the hospital, Corinne. All in that order. Her hand went instinctively to her stomach as her eyes met Yema’s. It was not the same, it still seemed swollen but it was softer. As if someone was trying to trick her, had taken her baby out and was hiding a pillow inside her to make her believe everything was still ok.
“Yema… where is my baby?” her throat was dry, pained, rasping, hoarse, “Cassie, my daughter. Where is she?”
Yema walked forward and patted her hand, she could not stop the tears from falling.
 
“Bella” Sakura moved forward into her best friends line of vision. As soon as she had returned from work Boris had informed her that Yema and Isabella were at the hospital. Without wasting another minute she had gone only to discover that her bestfriend had lost her baby.
“Bella, sweetheart. It’s Saks. Honey how are you doing?” she didn’t know what to do for her, what to say. Her hand reached out for hers and squeezed it gently.

“She didn’t make it sweetie, she wasn’t strong enough. I’m so sorry Bells” a tear trickled down her face as she sat on the side of the bed facing Isabella.
 
Bella stared off into the distance, released her hands from Yema and Saks and pulled the bed clothes about her.
“Leave me, please. I just want to be alone” there was nothing left for her. She had her best friend and her job just like before but she had no Cassie, no more ferocious kicks in the middle of the night as she tried to sleep. No cravings for bizarre foods like tomatoes with ice cream. No more wanting to wear ten layers of clothing when it was nice and warm outside. No more sleeping through the day because her baby was too restless at night. No more singing songs to her bump, no more glancing in the mirror at how much bigger the bump had grown and trying to guess how big Cassie was. No more trying to picture who her daughter would look like more. There was no more. No more baby, no more Izaak for any excuse he had needed to be with her was gone now. No more dreams. As she turned over in the bed, leaning deeply into her pillow she saw the tiny figurine of the fairy and taking it from the bedside locker held it tightly in her hand, closing her eyes and closing herself off.
 
Morning had risen and was now hung in tangerine hues over Obsidian Harbour as Izaak Finch paced towards the room that he had been told was Isabella’s with a lump lodged uncomfortably in his throat, fighting all urges to break into an undignified run. By a stroke of luck he had caught Corinne on his way in and with the heaviest of hearts she had told him what had happened. He was shaking inside with all the ferocious power of a quake, his heart breaking over and over again, he felt as if his stomach were lost somewhere on the floor. And his mind kept telling him that it wasn’t happening, it couldn’t be happening to him, to them. But it was, and it was absolutely awful. Death was something Izaak had never come into contact with before but now it had winded him sickeningly with a vicious blow. Because although he had never physically met his daughter, he had already fallen hopelessly, and very much to his own surprise, in love with her. Ever since that first moment he and Isabella had heard her tiny heartbeat. Isabella… Izaak cried painfully through his mind as if he could already see that immaculate head of blonde hair. Would she ever recover from this?

Izaak quickened his pace with undeniable urgency, now set into a frantic mind at least until he could see her and share her suppressing grief. He choked back the painful lump in his throat and furiously blinked away the tears that were pricking the corners of his eyes. But the number of Isabella’s room that had been labelled on the door came before Izaak was ready for it. It hard been hard even then to remain strong in front of the nurse, how was he ever going to be able to do it in front of Isabella? The truth was though that he wouldn’t be able to, neither of them would.

The silhouette of her figure as it was outlined through the sheets was dragged into the full force of his upsetted blue eyes. Not being able to tell if she was asleep or not, Izaak treaded his Converses softly along the hospital floor and then with the softest of movements slipped onto the bed next to her. It would have been more practical for him to take a seat in the plastic chair that had been set up beside the bed for visitors but Izaak needed to hold her close and latch on tight until he was strong enough to grieve on his lonesome. Gently Izaak slid his arms around her waist from behind and felt his heart shattering all over again as he felt the once taut skin beneath the brush of his fingertips. Then he could fight it no longer and the tears began to stream silently but heavily down his cheeks before soaking into the blonde tresses of Isabella’s hair. Trembles of loss and pain began to shudder through his body but his face remained blank with the exception of the silver traces of tears. How could someone so small simply waltz unexpectedly, and admittedly unwantedly, into his life, make him fall so in love with her and then leave, just like that? It wasn’t fair.
 
This hurt, it all hurt too much. Not a single tear had fallen since 2am there was nothing left. Not inside her and not in her world. The emptiness had begun slowly creeping in to engulf not long after the last tear had fallen. What had she to look forward too? If one person told her that she was young and could have others she would seriously do them harm. She had no thought any more for Izaak or Alexis, they were the least of her worries. All she cared about now was the lost life of her little girl, cradling her empty stomach in hands that simply ached to hold her Bella wanted now nothing more than to leave the wretched hospital and never return.

Morning dawned and still she had not moved from her prone position in the bed, the nurses had been in and out throughout the night attempting to dose her with the draught of peace but she refused it time and again. She wanted to grief, needed too and being under the effects of a potion would only deter that. Not knowing how long she lay there for, Bella heard the soft thread of feet across the floor and presuming it was another nurse simply lay motionless. But the person lay on the bed with her, placed warm strong arms about her his body shook with painful sobs and Bella closed her eyes tightly. Not needing to turn around to see who it was, not needing to know that he was in agony as she was. Very slowly she turned around to face him, her hands for the first time moved from her stomach, the fairy still cradled in one. Touching his face tenderly she began to wipe his tears but it seemed as if there were just too many. Her own pain soaked reddened eyes were heartbreaking to witness as she looked at him, amazed that he had even come.
"She's gone Izaak, Cassie is gone" she could say nothing else as she wrapped herself against him they were their only comfort in this.
 
They say that if a child is silent then something is horribly wrong. And Izaak Finch in every piece of his playful demeanour was very much the same. There were no words that fell from his mouth as Isabella shifted in his arms and seconded Corinne’s heart-wrenching news, there were only tears that fell from his glistening blue eyes. Some wishful part of him had held onto the possibility that there had been a mistake between patients and Cassie was alive and kicking but that’s all it was, wishful thinking. Izaak cocked his chin against his friend’s soothingly warm palm, that and the distress welling unbearably in the blue of his irises were the only gestures that acknowledged her words.

There came a stage in one’s grief when their bodies became drained of tears. And for Izaak it had come for the first time in a long time last night, hours and hours after he and Alexis had officially ended their battered relationship. But after the tears there was still the struggles for breath, the splintering break in his heart that so desperately needed mending and the emptiness that felt as if it would last a lifetime. And he had dragged himself all the way over to Saint Mungo’s only to experience it all over again. Izaak pressed his mouth to her shoulder, yet not a way that hinted a kiss of any kind, and allowed himself to sink pathetically and helplessly into their embrace. “I can’t- I can’t do this again. This isn’t f-fair Is…” The nineteen year old shuddered against her body as his screamed in pain at the gaping hole that was only being ripped further in his broken heart.

lame. i'm tired.
 
She did not understand his words and was not sure she wanted too. The emptiness inside her was too raw, too deep, too new to be able to take on the pain of someone else as well even if that someone else was Izaak. He had his Alexis to cry too, to turn too for comfort and she would be thrilled to give it to him now. Especially when she discovered that the child no longer existed, the reason Izaak stayed any where near Bella was now gone. Surely his girlfriend would be thrilled by this? Her hands clutched first at his chest before putting them up as a barrier. She needed her own feeble attempts at a barrier, how much more pain could she endure?

"Again?" her tear streaked face looked at him as she attempted to push herself up from the bed, the pain that shot through her made her even more acutely aware of her loss. Her usual glowing skin seemed just pale and pasty now, a ghost of her former self. How could a human being feel hollow? Slowly she slid from the bed and walked unsteadily to the window gripping it tightly to keep her balance. Her legs felt so weak, as did the rest of her. Would being cruel help to make her feel anything? Without looking at him she spoke with the level of barrenness she felt.
"No you're right this isn't fair. Nothing in life is fair but at least you have your Alexis, please go to her. Leave me have my pain in peace. Your happiness was always tied to her, never to me. Never to Cassie" she did not believe a word of it of course but could not bare for him to lie in her bed crying about the unfairness of all of this, when in her mind the unfairness had been his doing in the first place. He should have left her alone, should have simply left her alone.
 
The emptiness that Isabella left as she struggled from the bed drove much deeper than the nerves in his muscles and for once Izaak was not afraid to admit it. He needed her, he did not know in what way or how but he did, just as much as she probably needed him. The loss of their daughter simply couldn’t render the pair broken, they needed to get through this on each others shoulders. Izaak threw his hands up to his face and stopped the streaming tears with a rough rub of his balled up fists. The whites of his eyes were tainted with a raw red colour, taking some lustre off of the brilliance of his eyes. But it did not stop the blue from deepening with misery as they swung to the unenthused girl by the window.

Izaak moved his legs from the thin mattress and hung them over the side of the hospital bed, bracing the soles of his Converses against the linoleum floor, ready to exhaust the last dregs of his energy by leading his friend back over to the bed, surely she needed her rest. But as the words that she spoke left him both speechless and motionless. She was so off the mark that it gutted him. Izaak didn’t have Alexis anymore, she wasn’t his and he didn’t know if she ever would be again. She’d never been there at the end of the day when all he really needed to do was collapse beside her on the couch and talk his woes out. There would be no one to lighten his day with something as simple as a smile, no one to hold at night anymore and no one to wake up beside. Alexis Richarde had been his lover for almost a year and his friend for even longer. And now she was just nothing? It went unsaid that they wouldn’t even be able to return to the way they had before they dated, not after everything they had been through together as a couple. But it ripped him up inside and he didn’t think he had ever felt so lost in his entire life.

“We broke up.” The words sounded so blunt and confronting as they left Izaak’s lips that his could felt himself recoil. But his voice surprised him because although its timbre was croaky, it did not waver. It took a long moment and a deep breath to compose himself once more before shaking his head unnervingly. “That’s not true and you know it. You make me happy Is. Cassie made me happy.” And I need you now more than I’ve ever needed you before. It was an urgent thought, communicated only through his eyes as they settled on Isabella, praying that she’d see the plea behind his last sliver of dignity.
 
She should have been happy with this news, should have been dancing cartwheels but somehow she knew that it had just been the last straw for Alexis. Gripping the window sill as she sat herself into a chair she hid her face in her hands, shaking her head slowly. There was no one left to blame, no reason to feel anything anymore. The man she loved was distraught because the great love of his life could take no more of Isabella's interference in their union, was distraught because his first child was now no more. His girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend was most likely crying herself into oblivion somewhere hating everything about Isabella; while she tried desperately to hold herself together after the loss of her baby girl.

"I never made you as happy as she did. I am so sorry Izaak. I've managed to ruin everything for you. Everything" just when she thought she had no more tears left, some tore themselves from her wrought soul and poured out to drench her heart anew. It felt as if whatever pain she thought had numbed her completely had only been giving her its opening act, now the full show was in swing and her heart wrenched in agony. She stood up to walk back to the bed but stumbled as she reached it, grasping the sheets and allowing the sobs to tear through her.

She could not think a single rational thought in that moment, everything just hurt too much.


[sorry for lameness :( ]
 
Izaak could not find the words to return to his friend when she claimed that the happiness she brought him could not measure up against the one he felt when he was with his girlfriend. Being with Alexis before their relationship had spiralled out of control had put him on Cloud Nine. But after he had found the letter, after the drinks and the lustful night of Cassie’s conception, the strain it had placed on the young couple was tremendous. As Izaak thought back to it and the constant urge to force the simple happiness that had once adorned them right back around them again, he found himself wondering how the both of them had made it so far. Yes he loved Alexis, more than what was probably deemed healthy, but it was not enough.

Izaak sat in uncomfortable silence as his azure blue eyes warily followed Isabella as she moved from the seat by the window sill and towards the bed, towards him. But she barely made it and in the space of a frantic heartbeat, Izaak had his arms around her. A swift exertion of strength was all it took to pull her gently sideways onto his lap. “Don’t talk like that, please don’t.” He spoke in a voice so soft it was almost a whisper as he tucked his friend safely against his chest, any louder and he feared it might break on him. Right now Izaak didn’t want to dwell on what pain they suffered as a cause of one another, he didn’t want to play the blame game and he certainly didn’t want to hurt anymore than was he already was. A rough sigh rose from his chest, as he allowed himself to relax into the embrace and try to focus on comforting Isabella as opposed to falling into the nightmarish loss of both his lover and his baby daughter in one weekend. “I don’t know much right now but I know I can’t lose you Is, not as well. Promise me I won’t okay?” His eyes were closed now but he was still holding onto to her so tight that his life may as well have depended on it and was showing no signs of ever (physically or otherwise) letting her go.
 
She never fell for his arms were there, pulling her to him, comforting her keeping her from falling further into the abyss than she had already. She did not know how long they sat like that for, how long they seemed to hold one another. It seemed like an eternity before the pain numbed enough for her to speak again, before the tears dried up and she felt utterly barren once more. Exhausted beyond anything she had ever felt she clung to him.

"You'll never lose me Izaak. I love you too much" the honesty tore from her before her eyes closed and sleep finally took her. It seemed like days since she had been able to sleep at all but it was just over 24 hours, 24 or the longest hours imaginable for either of them. The dreams that came to her were happy ones, where herself and Izaak were smiling over their little girl all happy and deliriously in love. Afraid to wake from it Bella twisted and turned fitfully in her sleep, knowing deep inside that reality was too harsh to return too, too lonesome even if she had fallen asleep in his arms.
 
The silence that dropped across the pair in that lonely hospital room was not awkward, nor was it painful. Despite the fact that what was the most meaningful relationship Izaak had ever had in his entire life had ended so miserably yesterday and that his baby daughter had made a pass on the world, the nineteen year old felt oddly peaceful with Isabella in his arms. It may have helped to know that he was not the only one who had to try and pick up the shattered pieces of his broken heart. But as his still blue eyes focused relentlessly on the day breaking outside, and his hearing was brandished with nothing but the sounds of his friend’s subsiding sobs, Izaak felt his pain begin to numb with the inactiveness of his mind.

But Isabella’s words roused his mind from its dormant state and the heartbreak returned, causing the young man to square his shoulders as if such a gesture may fight off the pain or in the very least brace him for it. Izaak did not want to remember the clear finality of the kiss he had shared with Alexis, or the news Corinne had wearily brought to him this morning. So as he felt the fragile girl in his arms begin to slump with slumber, Izaak drew her closer to his chest. “I love you Is.” He breathed in what he judged to be her last few conscious moments in which one, although they may be perfectly aware of the words spoken around them, was simply too far gone. Once upon a time those words had counted for nothing but friendship but in his last visit to the hospital with Isabella, Izaak had realised an edge of something more was beginning to cut through. Though now after losing Alexis, his beloved Alexis, Izaak was in no place at all to admit this to himself let alone Isabella. Would he ever be able to move on from his most significant other? Would he be able to forget the smell of vanilla as it worked through his senses each and every morning he woke up with her in his arms or the varying shades of red that flushed her cheeks whenever he called her beautiful? Would the hours and hours that they spent lying in bed together, speaking about anything and everything until the sun rose again just fade into a distant memory? No, the answer was no. Alexis Marie Richarde was truly written into Izaak forever.

The growing restlessness of the beautiful young woman in his arms worried Izaak perhaps a little too much than it should have though. She deserved an uneventful sleep, she needed it and if there was something disturbing her then to hell with it. If Izaak could personally reach inside of her mind and draw these disturbances out he would. But as this obviously wasn’t achievable, Izaak grazed his palm gently against her shoulder before sliding it right down to the very tips of her delicate fingers, hoping to rouse her slightly from her sleep to rid her of her bad dreams. “Hey, hey,” He cooed softly, before pressing his lips to her temple and leaving them pursed against Isabella’s soft skin as he waited for her to calm.
 
As sleep stole over her she heard his voice utter words she had often dreamed him whispering to her but though part of her knew that they were real, Bella did not place any solace in them. He loved her like a friend and always would, life had dealt them all unfairly and as her dreams tore her this way and that Bella finally woke up with one realization. His arms were about her and she would have loved to have stayed there but she wasn't the one who belonged there. How many times would she have to let him go, cut him from her heart so that he could be with someone other than her. His lips against her forehead felt amazing, she was so tempted to lift her head to taste him one last time before trying to do the 'right' thing again, before trying to write or meet up with Alexis and explain how much Izaak needed and loved her. She had apologies of her own to make to the young Gryffindor and though she knew they would most likely be unwelcomed, an apology had to be made.

The lure of the young man beside her was ridiculous, stronger than any sirens pull and she wondered not for the first time would it always be like this for her when he was near. Movement in the corridor signaled the approach of a nurse and Bella clutched to Izaak as she entered, busying herself with Isabella's file as she absently asked her questions about her state of health and mind. After answering them all as best she could, she asked one of her own. When she could leave. The nurse merely smiled at her, informing her then that it was not her decision to make but her mid-wife would be along later in the day and to get plenty of rest for now. She left again and Bella slid herself upwards so she was sitting against the pillows.

She held the blanket close to her, her eyes gazing off into the distance.
"I just want to go home. I don't want to be here any longer" her voice still sounded as empty as her womb now was, "It's alright for you to head away Izaak. There's no need for you to stay."
The gentle smile that played across her perfect face seemed still too pained, as if it took all her energy to perform it.
 
Izaak reached for Isabella’s hair with a steady hand and threaded his lithe fingers through the lustrous strands as she clung to him. The silk soft feel of them beneath the skin of his fingers made Izaak wonder who it was soothing more. His other hand coasted to the space between her shoulder blades and his arm circled her protectively as the nurse asked questions of a number so tedious that Izaak pondered on their necessity. Though taking into account that Bella had just lost their baby, he knew the reason behind the notion was an exceptional one. But as she herself piped up with one, Izaak sped his curious blue to the nurse, hoping for her sake that it was sooner rather than later. But the older woman’s answer was not the one that had been sought and he returned his gaze faithfully to the girl in his arms.

Izaak spoke not a word as the nurse left the room, not even one as Isabella slipped away from the embrace of his arms. He simply grazed his eyes over the stitching in the denim of his jeans, searching for an imperfection, a distraction from the pain that would blunder down heavily on his shoulders should the silence consume them again. Alexis and Cassie never strayed too far from his thoughts at any given time, but with Isabella they seemed to dare to wander that extra bit further. Relief circulated through his weary mind as a dampened conversation was started on her part but it soon dissolved at the lack of emotion in her once so musical voice. “I know Is,” He sighed tiredly and absentmindedly rubbed the pad of his thumb across his cheek, slowly losing himself in the anaesthetic smell lingering in the air and the sheer whiteness of it all. He would want to be out of here too. But Izaak snapped back to himself in sheer disagreement as Isabella assured him that he was fine to leave. But he wasn’t, not at all. “Don’t you know that you’re just about my everything right now?” Izaak laughed weakly and skimmed his hand over to her foot, squeezing it tightly with another nervous chuckle. “I have every need to stay.” Most suddenly and unexpectedly a thought thundered through his mind. “You should come back to Bondi with me one day soon. God knows that you need a break Isabella Ormonde and it’s definitely the place for it.” For a fleeting moment, a genuine smile seemed to shine through on his worn expression as he gazed into the silvered gray of her eyes, pleading her through the intoxicating blue of his own to just say yes.
 
Sakura entered the hospital wondering how long it would be until her best friend could come home. She was afraid to go into her room, the ghost of Bella would be there instead of the person she had always known and loved. She had wished fervently all night long that Isabella would get a break, simply be given a chance at happiness. Whenever it was shown to her life invariably stepped in and removed it again. James had been the beginning of course, then her mother, eventually her school life had suffered, Izaak and now the baby. Sakura smiled sadly as she came face to face with Corinne Kolpeck. Both spoke for some time before they made their way to the room.

As she entered she was stunned to find Izaak there. She had never of course been introduced to him but Bella's love of drawing had sketched many a picture of him and she marveled at the the likeness of everyone of those sketches now as she looked at the real thing.
"Hello" she nodded her head politely at him, not sure what to say or do. She certainly had not expected him to be here at all, walking to the bed she put her arm about Bella and kissed her forehead.
"Bells, Corinne says you can come home today. I am going to go back and pack your things ok. We're going to head off for a while. I think you need the break. Thorine won't mind especially with Hollace there" she stroked her friends hair gently before looking over once more at the boy that her friend had fallen so hopelessly in love with.
 
Corinne had spent the night in and out of the various wards with four successful births and one heart break, she was shattered. Just about to sign off for the day she had every intention of calling into see Isabella before she left. Meeting her friend Sakura Gemini on the way, she spoke for a moment about allowing the girl to go home. The rest now was what she needed and being on a floor full of other pregnant women and hearing the cries and cooes of newborns was not conducive to that. She entered the room behind Sakura and checked through the notes on the girls file, signing off on a few parchments.

When there was a moment of silence she regarded them all before looking at Isabella.
"You may leave whenever you're ready. At this point I think it best for you to get as much rest as possible at home. I will need to see you again in a month to make sure you're alright" she patted the girls foot gently before nodding her farewells to the others and leaving the room.

She may be signing off for the evening but she knew her mind would be whirring constantly about how difficult it must be for these women, these young girls. With a gentle smile she waved to the nurse on reception before leaving.
 
His words like a balm to her soul, how could she give him up when he was literally telling her that he wanted to be with her. Of course she was no fool she knew it was only to salve whatever pain he was experiencing and this she could not deny him. He had not said after all that she was his everything, she was merely 'just about'. Always second best, always on the fringe of everything she sighed gently. Cassie would have loved her unconditionally. Her baby would have needed and wanted her like no one else could have or ever would have. It was soul destroying to go from knowing she could have had that to having nothing once again.

His offer was kind but she could not accept, it was like charity at this point. It didn't matter that she would have loved the beach, to feel the sand beneath her feet and to simply be away from the magic world for a while. Bells was about to answer when Sakura entered with Corinne, their faces were enough to make her look away concentrate on anything else in the room but their sad expressions.
Sakura was as adamant about her need for a break as Izaak had been and even Corinne seemed to think it necessary. Bella moved carefully from the bed after saying farewell and thank you to her mid-wife, she gathered up the clothes Yema had brought the day before. Was it really only yesterday? It seemed like such a life time ago now.

She entered the bathroom adjoining her room and slowly and methodically washed herself and changed her clothes. If she was allowed to leave here then she wanted to do it now. After a while she emerged, fully clothed but still looking completely washed out.
"I want to go home now" she looked at Izaak not sure what she should do or say really, "thank you for your offer but .... " she was stumped. Not knowing how to refuse him and not sure if she really wanted too.
 
Izaak darted his azure eyes across her expectantly, waiting eagerly for the answer that was lingering on the tip of her tongue. Hopefully she’d say yes, and she didn’t necessarily have to go with him right at this moment, but whenever she was ready to. Whether that be days, weeks, months even. But he wanted her to come, he wanted to show her the place that meant the world to him, that was a part of him, that without he simply wouldn’t be the Izaak that she knew and loved. And not only that but whenever they were together it made it all seem that little bit easier. But he never got an answer, not even the one he didn’t want to hear because suddenly a girl entered, one he quickly realised was her best friend, with both news and a request, but perhaps a statement was more correct. He passed her a smile as she glanced at him, grateful that Bella had a friend so concerned for her and her wellbeing. She needed it like nothing else right now.

Corinne was next to join the group, confirming the news that the friend had brought. Izaak sought out his friend with those brilliant blue eyes of his, knowing that she’d be glad to hear it because a hospital was definitely not the most uplifting place to be. Once Corinne had left and Bella retreated to the shower, Izaak made idle but easy conversation with the girl he soon found out was named Sakura. It didn’t take him long to realise that the best place Isabella could be right now was with her best friend. It seemed now that their situation was still too raw to spend however many days with one another.

Izaak stood from the bed as Isabella slid back into the room, looking not much better than what she had before. "thank you for your offer but .... " Izaak gave a quick, dismissive shake of his head as he came to stand before her and reach out to envelope her dainty hands within each of his own. “Go with Sakura, you do need a break and I know that if you go back to the Leaky you’ll wind up doing lunch hours. But you’re coming to Bondi in a few weeks and I’m not taking no for an answer, okay?” Izaak smiled through his words just enough so that she’d know he was serious before leaning forward to touch a light kiss to her cheek.
 
She smiled at him then, possibly the first real smile she had made since losing her daughter. As he kissed her face her hand reached up to touch his cheek, looking into his blue eyes as she wondered what their daughter would have looked like. She couldn't help it and knew deep down that quite possibly for the rest of her life she would make little notes like these.
"I will go with Sakura I promise" she smiled over at her, winning a bright smile from her best friend as she did so before turning back to Izaak, "but I will join you in Bondi in a few weeks as well. I promise that also. I ... I just need time right now".
She also knew she did not have to explain herself further as she leaned forward and returned the kiss he had given her. The brief contact was all she allowed herself before walking slowly to her bed thanking Sakura for the foresight of packing up her bag while she had been in the bathroom. It seemed there was nothing of her left here, all she had to do was leave now. Walk out the doors and hope her life would pick up slowly and carry on in some shape or form. Sakura gripped her hand lightly as they walked to towards the door together. She looked back only once at Izaak, the small tear in the corner of her eye hidden by her sadness and her heartbreak twinkled before losing itself completely. She had cried too much already but she knew that over the coming weeks there was going to be so much more, the pain would be excruciating but somehow with Sakura's help she knew she would pull through and perhaps when she did meet Izaak again, she wouldn't be the shell that was walking away from him now.
 
The natural smile that curled her coral hued lips stirred something deep within Izaak. It was unfamiliar, yet it wasn’t unpleasant. The feeling was consoling and comforting but Izaak knew that wishing too hard on it was not healthy. Hope, that was what it was. It seemed like forever since he had felt it but it had really only been yesterday, after he’d slid that promise ring onto Alexis’ finger. Perhaps they could have made it through together and maybe he could have had the opportunity to get down on one knee once she had done with university. And maybe, just maybe they could have been forever. Izaak gulped down the horrible feeling of bile rising in his throat and dismissed his thoughts as he wrestled them back to Isabella’s fleeting radiance. Maybe they had a chance of getting through this, and maybe it would be together.

“I’ll hold you to that miss,” The blue-eyed boy grinned once Isabella had promised him her visit and once she had reciprocated his kiss. And as Izaak watched her and Sakura walk away he thought that maybe, just maybe he was right this time.
 
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