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Ava hesitated as he fell back. Oh no, what had she done? She bit her lip, her stomach churning and feeling just... Completely devastated. She sighed, trying to ignore it. She only got to see Zephyr for a little bit, she didn't want to leave things this way. "I brought you and Rowan some lunch." She spoke softly, trying to offer an olive branch. "Its, um, a vegan veggie wrap. No nuts." She bit her lip.
 
Elio didn't plan for their day to take this turn, but as Ava changed the subject (which he had to suppose was a given after his last words) he felt like he may as well just go back to the castle now. He had nothing left to say here, which was a shame because he'd been looking forward to this day since he'd started school. More than anything he wanted to just go and find Rowan, silence or not at least he was comfortable. "Thanks," he said flatly, although made no effort to move. He did appreciate the snacks, although Ava probably appreciated having a distraction too, and something to work towards given she wasn't around them anymore. ​
 
Ava sighed softly, turning to face Zephyr. "Hey," she tried, hesitantly touching his hand with her fingers. "I'm sorry," she tried again, less flippant this time. "I acted brashly and didn't consider how you felt, before or after, and I shouldn't have disregarded your feelings like that," she bit her lip. "I truly didn't mean it," she sighed softly. "Please, Zephyr? I know I messed up...." She bit her lip to keep herself from chattering.
 
The only time Elio had ever jolted away from someone was Rowan when she'd caught him off guard that one time, but he found himself doing that again now, almost snatching his hand away as Ava tried to hold it. "AVA, IT'S NOT ABOUT ME," he found himself suddenly shouting. This now felt like that day on the cliff's which was not a day he felt like repeating. He took a moment to try to calm himself down, reminding himself that Ava probably didn't know why what she was saying was even affecting him this way. "I don't care that you kissed me. Merlin I know why you did, I know why I kissed you back." That hadn't been the issue, "Except that you're seeing someone. What is Christian meant to make of this? Hell, would you even tell him? Clearly our morals lie on different sides of the lake Ava and if you can't see that.." Elio shrugged, "I can't help you." ​
 
Ava jerked back, scrambling back a little at his reaction. At the mention of what was really going on, it clicked, and Ava couldn't help but crumble. "Zephyr..." She sighed, pulling her knees to her chest. "Christian... Isn't going to care. He's going to break up with me anyway," she looked away. "I thought... If I pretended I didn't know, if I just... Tried harder to be happier I could stop him, but I don't think that will help." She sighed. "Its the only reason I didn't think of him first. I just... Everything has been a bit topsy turvy emotionally for me, and I just... Felt safe with you and I forgot everything that was hurting me, I..." She sighed, swiping her eyes. "I couldn't make Tyler like me, he insulted me and rejected me really harshly, and everything with Philip, and now Christian..." She pulled her knees tighter to his chest.
 
Elio had to shut his eyes to avoid rolling them. Ava went on to say that she was convinced Christian would break up with her, but if that was the case why had she just told him barely a few moments before that she was seeing someone? He knew more than anyone what it was like to have a lot going on, but hearing Ava list off all the people she couldn't convince to "like her" wasn't helping, it didn't excuse it, and besides, kissing someone else wasn't exactly going to help if she really did want to make things better between them enough to avoid a break up. Maybe if he said all of that out loud though he would be seen as being arrogant, and while he was sometimes, he could hardly talk about doing the right from wrong thing. The realisation of what was happening hit Elio like another tonne of bricks, and hearing Ava's words only confirmed it more. He didn't trust her. Not in a sense that he could trust she wouldn't put peanuts into his snacks, but in the way that even after everything they'd been through she still wasn't open enough to tell him things as they were. He'd had similar issues with other people too. Was he really that hard of a person to be honest with? "Stop..lying to me." This was one more frustration that Elio did not need. "You spend all your time worried about whether or not people like you that you're losing yourself Ava." Maybe it was harsh to say, but he couldn't stop himself. "You're better than this. Stop worrying about whether or not you can make someone like you. You're meant to be with your dad this year and you're worried about whether we forgive you for leaving. Do what you have to do. It's not about us. And if you really wanted to put the stops on a break up, kissing me is not going to help that." Elio could barely stop the words pouring of his mouth as he'd begun, "I've been friends with you since first year and that's because of who you are, not your need to please people." As he said it, he occurred to him again that she was just scared of people leaving her. "Worry about yourself, and what you're doing, and people who love you for you will find you." It felt stupid, at a time like this trying to reassure her that she'd find a boyfriend one day, but if she was trying to force it it was never going to work. It wasn't the first time he'd said it but it wouldn't have hurt to say it again. Her mask of happiness was just that, but he didn't think she'd still have held that up for him.​
 
Ava was quiet as Zephyr went off on her, silent for a moment after he was done. She really couldn't argue with him. She was bright, and bubbly, but she was also so very tired. Tired of trying to be Vaders person. Of trying to be someone everyone liked. She sighed, her shoulders slumping. "Alright..." She agreed gently. "Alright. Be mad if you want, I know you're right. Honestly... I dont even want a boyfriend." She sighed. "I wanted someone to need me. You and Rowan have each other. Vader has never trusted me..." She sighed. "I just wanted a person of my own, that wouldn't leave," she admitted, shifting her bag. "I want to stay and cuddle, I've really missed you. But I'll go if you're still mad." She told him plainly.
 
Elio had to pinch the bridge of his nose when Ava's response was that he had Rowan and that she had issues with Vader. It was like she was proving her point to him all over again. He did not have the energy for this, not now. Not with everything else going on. "Fine, you know what. Add me to that list while you're there. The point is flying straight over your head," Elio had by this point jumped up, barely looking at Ava right now. He did love her but she'd come to learn that even the strongest friendships and relationships had to take a step back every now and then. And heck, maybe Vader was on to something, if that was actually true. "I am mad. I, can't even remember the last time I was this mad. And not just because of this but everything. I can't do this."​
 
Ava sighed. Right. This was why she didn't tell anyone anything. Who was she kidding? Zephyr Elio didn't need her. She had tried so hard- but it wasn't enough. Try, don't try, what did it matter if he just hated her no matter what she did? Why even come back to school at all? Elsie was gone. No one else in the dorm liked her, she was sure the other Ava hated her. Alice was surrounded by people and Vader was replacing her already. And Elio... Well, she had tried to let him close to her, almost closer than Vader, but it had been a mistake. She didn't speak, feeling numb as she turned and began to walk away. Tears filled her eyes. Why did she even try? Philip, Vader, Zephyr. Her dad. Ava just... Wasn't good enough. She felt her heart breaking, but didn't know what to do.
 
Watching Ava say nothing and walk away only made him realise that maybe he'd done the right thing. She wasn't even going to fight for their friendship? Maybe she did need time to herself. He'd done nothing but talk honestly to her and if she wasn't even going to give him the same gratitude then what more could he do? The prefect was too exhausted to chase after her, tell her everything was going to be alright. And even if he did, how was that going to help if Ava refused to acknowledge what was between them. Frustrated and angry he turned on his heel, heading back to the castle in even more of a state than he'd left it.​
 
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