Closed Always My Boo

[Onyx Derouin]

Onyx didnt want to do this. At all. But he couldnt see another option. He'd been crying for days. He felt sick. But today he dragged himself out of his bed and got dressed, making his way down to the hufflepuff hall to wait. He did his best to stay calm. He jumped as Chrys nearly passed him by. Onyx shot forward, grabbing Chrys's arm. "Boo? We need to talk," he didnt let go, already feeling like he was going to fall apart.

 

[Chrysander Kaster]

Chrys had really struggled to get out of bed this morning. Things had been hitting him pretty hard of late and he still wasn’t quite sure what had happened with Onyx. He’d thought he loved him, he’d said he did but the moment he’d been truly confronted with the question it was like all bets were off and he was having really issues trying to identify what love even meant. Surely that was something he would understand by now. It seemed like everyone else did going by the way things were. So he’d had a frustrating week and a very frustrating day, that when he saw onyx he was mostly relieved he could take his mind off of some of it. He frowned though when Onyx grabbed his arm and told him they needed to talk. Well, that couldn’t be good. He couldn’t wipe the frown off his face as he looked at Onyx. “What’s up, Kitty?”​

 

[Onyx Derouin]

Onyx swallowed nervously, keeping his hold on Chrys's arm. "I... I've been thinking a lot about us." He took a deep breath, his stomach twisting. "I... think we need to take a step back. I love you, with everything I am, but I dont think being my boyfriend is making you happy." Onyx couldnt look at Chrys as he spoke. "I just want you to be happy. You've been lying for a while, and that... that isnt good. I think we need to make things more casual between us."

Onyxs fingers tightened on Chrys's arm. "I don't want to stop seeing you. You're still my boo. You always will be. And i... I can be your kitty for always, too, if you wanted me. Or when you wanted me," Onyx bit his lip. "I'm always right here if you need me, and if you decide later that you want to try dating again then we can, I just... I just want you to be happy," he finished, finally daring to look up at Chrys.

 

[Chrysander Kaster]

Chrys' frown only hardened as Onyx started speaking. This certainly did not sound like it was going to be very good at all, it never was when Onyx started thinking things, because it usually meant just kissing him wasn't going to be enough. He licked his lips and brought his hands up either side of Onyx, Onyx's hand still tight on his arm. "Come on, Kitty," he said in attempt to distract him from talking any further, he leaned down and pressed soft kisses to Onyx's jaw and was surprised when he kept talking. He stepped back then and dropped his arms, looking at Onyx's hand on his arm and throwing it off. This wasn't the conversation he wanted to have, today of all days, and yet here Onyx was off thinking his own silly things and coming to Chrys with this. He took another step back, his frown angry now. "Are you f*cking serious right now?" He asked, though he didn't raise his voice. He was annoyed, that after what he'd said the other day, this was the response. "I asked you, the other day, what you wanted and now you change your mind?" He asked lowly, upset, but he supposed he wasn't angry really. This just threw a spanner in his life, he was expecting to be with Onyx for a while, he liked Onyx. He trusted him. "Well, I don't want to see you, maybe, you can't just come and tell me you don't want to be an us anymore and think I'm going to be happy with keeping it "cas" and that you can still be kitty and I can be boo," he said, shaking his head. "Only the people I date get cute nicknames, Onyx, not ex boyfriends."​

 

[Onyx Derouin]

Onyx's eyes widened at Chrys's response, and he had to take a small step back, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart and the twisting of his gut. "But I... I can't figure out what you want," He managed weakly, "You don't want to be exclusive and you don't know if you love me and... and you want other guys, I thought..." His lip trembled and he had to bite it, hard. "And when we talked after... the other day, you never... you never told me you still wanted me, what am I supposed to do?" He asked softly, wrapping his arms around his torso. "You're everything to me, I just want you to be happy, I don't want to lose you," He took a shaky breath. "What do you want from me, Boo- Chrysander?" He corrected, wincing at the sound of it.

 

[Chrysander Kaster]

Chrys shook his head. He was angry and annoyed, because despite it all, he wanted to be with Onyx, he was sure of it. So maybe he didn't know what love was, or how he was supposed to feel about it, but that didn't mean this didn't hurt. "Yeah, sure, you don't want to lose me so much you literally just said you don't want to be together anymore, what am I supposed to think about this Onyx..." she asked, crossing his arms and taking a couple of steps back. He didn't want to be in Onyx's space right now at all. "I don't know how you're expecting me to respond to this, because who knows what goes on in your head, but, I'm not just going to let you change your mind, you don't know how to do this without feeling Onyx and if we're not dating I wouldn't treat you any differently to how I treated Elio, or..." he didn't bother saying any other names, because really, Onyx didn't need to know.​

 

[Onyx Derouin]

Onyx bit his lip, heart breaking more in his chest. "I do want to be together, Chrys, but I want you to be happy with what we are!" He tried again. "You wont tell me what you want! You know what I want- I want us, I want you! I love you, Chrys, but this has to go two ways, that's how relationships work. If you arent sure of your feelings, okay, but you've been lying to me for so long... I dont know what I'm supposed to do. I thought you would want me to back off, give you space, even if it killed me..." Onyx bit his lip again. "I'm your kitty... I can't stand thinking I might be hurting you... you need to talk to me, Chrys, please," he pleaded, stepping forward and reaching for him. "If you dont want to break up, we won't, I just- talk to me, please, tell me what to do to make you happy...." he pleaded, trying hard to fight back the tears in his eyes.

 

[Chrysander Kaster]

Chrys rolled his eyes at Onyx, stepping back away from Onyx again. He didn’t want to touch him right now, he didn’t want to be anywhere near him. “Can you just, like, not?” He asked annoyed, almost smacking Onyx’s hand away. “You’re not my Kitty anymore, not if you’re breaking up with me. I’m not just going to be okay with you asking that and then deciding you don’t want to break up if that’s not what I want. Bloody hell, Onyx, you should have figured your shut out before you came to me with this.” He said, pinching his forehead in the acceptance of the headache he was about to deal with. “I’m so f*cking done right now, with you, with this situation, with everything.” He said, turning to walk away. “Leave me alone and don’t follow me.”​

 

[Onyx Derouin]

Onyx drew his hand back, wrapping his arms around himself. "I dont want to break up, I thought you did!" He replied, voice cracking. When Chrys turned to walk away, Onyx broke. "Why cant you just give me a frigging answer!" He half yelled. "You dont want to be exclusive but you dont want to be casual and all I f***ing want is to know my boyfriend is happy being with me!" He rubbed his eyes. "You promised that I was your kitty, I'm supposed to take care of you, how can I do what you need me to if you cant tell me what you want?!" He demanded, hurrying after Chrys and grabbing his arm. "Stop running away and help me figure this out, Chrys, please, I need you," he begged.

 

[Chrysander Kaster]

Chrys was angrier than he realised how to be. He wasn’t someone that yelled often, so this was a new experience. “Get the f*ck, off of me.” He yelled at him, really not caring now who overheard or saw them. It wasn’t like Chrys didn’t like drama. “I don’t have a f*cking clue what I want, obviously, that was obvious to everyone but you,” he said in answer, absolutely livid with Onyx. “I have no idea, not a single f*cking clue what I want, if I did, I’d tell you, because I thought we were a team, clearly we’re not, Ive learned my lesson today,” he said, moving away from Onux to head inside the common room instead, where Onyx couldn’t get to him. “I don’t know what I want, but right now, it isn’t you, so piss off.”​

 

[Onyx Derouin]

Onyx fell back as Chrys yelled, the tears he'd been fighting as he had tried to save what he had with Chrys finally falling. He had tried so hard to make this work, to be the best he could for Chrys. But he wasnt enough. He was never enough. Chrys had lied, cheated, made onyx believe they had a future. He sniffed as Chrys stormed back towards the common room, wiping his eyes. "I'm sorry, boo," he managed brokenly, a gut wrenching sob escaping his lips before he turned and ran the other way. He needed Sapphire. Now.