Closed A Small Step

Sapphire Michaels

Clever- Mischievous- Snarky- Photographer
 
Messages
2,231
OOC First Name
Jess S
Blood Status
Mixed Blood
Relationship Status
It's Complicated
Sexual Orientation
Who Cares?
Wand
Pear Wood, Unicorn hair core, 14 inches
Age
12/23/2033 (27)
Everything in Sapphire's world was so... uncertain right now. Being a captain. Being a prefect. She didn't deserve... any of the good things people just kept... throwing at her. She stood up on the towers, watching the stars as she leaned on the rail. The most surprising thing, she thought, had to have been Chrys's... almost sweet reaction when she had informed him of what had happened. She had expected him to blow her off, to ignore her. After all, wouldn't this turn of events be better for him? She shut her eyes, letting the wind tousle her ebony hair. It was too much, almost. Onyx wasn't coming back. And it was entirely her fault. She didn't open her eyes when she heard the door open behind her. "I didn't think you were actually going to come," She stated plainly, not turning to look at the boy she had once considered her brother.
 
Chrys was... uncertain. Which wasn't the usual kind of feeling he dealt with. He'd been feeling increasingly more disillusioned and unsure though as the weeks wore on. After what had happened with Onyx last year and subsequently Sapphire, he'd realised some things, or rather, he was starting to try and understand some things about himself. He definitely felt sexual attraction for people, there was absolutely no disputing that, but, some other things didn't seem to be working in his brain. He'd told people he loved them before, but, he had begun to wonder how much of that he actually felt and how much of it was just words. Yes, he missed people when they were gone, but, the whole physical affection aspect of a relationship just wasn't right for him. He had no desire for anything romantic from what he could tell and he didn't know what that meant. He'd started to get to know himself more, but that had to take a back seat now as he tried to learn more about what he was going to do in his future. Being friends with Elsie meant he'd seen her work incredibly hard for an uncertain future. Chrys had always though that working for something like that was stupid, because you just didn't know what was going to happen and it could have all ended up in the trash heap in the end. Yet, still, despite knowing that everyone he knew, Elsie, Rowan, Marco, Elio, Zennon, Abian, Alice, they all were actually trying to make something of themselves and Chrys had nothing to his name. Nothing but his looks and though he knew they'd get him pretty far in life, he needed something more, there was a void he couldn't explain and he needed to fill it with something. Anything. Hearing about Elsie in the holidays and then Onyx, well, Chrys knew he had to do something and he thought speaking to Sapphire was the first step. He couldn't say if he was ready to apologise, because he stood by what he'd said last year, but, he knew it wasn't right to pretend she didn't exist. He liked Sapphire once, and he still did, despite everything. "I wasn't sure I was going to, to be honest," Chrys said as he stepped into the tower, walking across the floor and leaning against the wall beside her, foot against the wall as he leaned back into it. "Almost talked myself into turning right back around."
 
Sapphire couldn't deny the dull ache in her heart as she heard him speak. She had never expected Onyx and Chrysander to last. Chrys had always been... well, himself, and so had her brother. She had never thought they would be able to get past that. But she hadn't expected Chrys to be so public about it, or how he had betrayed her as well. At least when Jake and Onyx had ended... whatever it was they had been, it had ended after that one incident in the hall. A bitter smile crossed her lips at his words. "Well, looks like everything has worked out in your favor." She spoke plainly, an edge of pain clear in her voice. "You'll never see him again. And hey, you don't even need to worry about me hating you anymore." She shook her head, pushing up off the wall and turning to leave. "I'm too busy hating myself to bother kicking your ass," She tucked her hands in her pockets, letting her ebony hair fall to cover her eyes as she began to move away.
 
Chrys wasn't quite sure why he was here, except that he'd told Sapphire he would come, though he wasn't entirely sure why. Maybe it had something to do with the fact he was losing friends faster than he was gaining them, or he'd turned a new leaf, either way, he'd come and now he had to make sure Sapphire stayed too, because they needed to talk, or something, probably. He frowned when she spoke, because he didn't have an intelligent quip or witty comment to make back. It was an unnatural feeling to the Hufflepuff who almost always knew what to say, but this whole year had thrown him off balance and he wasn't quite sure what to do about it. With Elsie's passing, his brother and sister now in school with him, Elio no where to be seen and his Uncle now in the school, Chrys could admit he didn't know what to do anymore. He could almost have considered he was nervous, except that Chrys as never nervous, not once. Maybe when he was eleven, but certainly not at sixteen. "Everything work out?" He asked, as she turned to walk away. Immediately he pushed himself off of the wall and grabbed her arm. "Sapphire, what the f*ck? Elsie is dead, and your brother was attacked!" He said, shaking his head angrily. "If you think I'm happy about any of this, clearly we were never friends in the first place and not being friends now shouldn't have hurt you as much as you claim it did!"
 
Sapphire froze when he grabbed her, and what little control she had kept over her emotions snapped. She turned quickly, her fist connecting with his nose as she punched him in the face. "He wasn't attacked!" She yelled. "I was! He was just a f-ing idiot and pushed me out of the way!" She pulled her arm free from Chrys's grip, tears building in her eyes as she took a step back. "I never thought you two were going to last!" She ranted, shaking and hating that she cared so much. "He tried to give you what you wanted, in his own stupid, clumsy way, but you were embarrassed, and you tore everything down. He might not remember anymore, but I do! I needed you, I trusted you, but you got your panties in a twist and you just- just-" She bit her lip, hating that she was crying a little as she backed away. "Onyx was the only one," She managed, voice breaking, "He always stood by me, and I nearly got him killed. Everyone else has walked away from me- and maybe they were right to do it," She scrubbed her sleeve over her face, struggling desperately to pull herself together.
 
Chrys had never been good with emotions, especially not the emotions of a screaming girl. He could deal with jealousy and flirtiness, but not anger or sadness. He didn't know what to do with those. He was very uncertain in this situation and so he didn't even realise what she was doing until she turned and punched him in the face. He heard his nose crack before he felt it and reels back, clutching his face, the blood covering the front of his robes and his hands. Despite his personality, Chrys had never actually had a broken nose before and so the shock of it all had him staring at Sapphire for a solid minute before he finally cried out at the pain he'd just experienced. His beautiful face! "Sapphire! What the f*ck!" He yelled, holding his hands to his face to try and stow the bleeding. He had a wand, but didn't know enough about healing spells to even try to fix it. He needed to go to the hospital wing and he needed to go now. He couldn't even really focus on what she was saying because he was focusing on the throbbing on his face. "Sapphire you broke my f*cking nose," he said, glaring at her.​
 
-godmod approved-

Sapphire sighed in exasperation, pulling her wand from her pocket. She reached for his hands, pausing only a moment as he flinched away. "Just hold still," She glared right back, moving again to take his hands away from his face. One murmured spell and his nose was fixed. She reached into her pocket, not letting go of his hands as she wiped the blood from his face. She felt marginally better after having hit him, but only slightly.

Sighing, and feeling utterly defeated, she let both hands slip from his. Shoulders slumped, she stepped away. "I'm sorry I hit you," she murmured, wiping at her face and moving past him to lean against the railing again. "I get it if you want to leave," She spoke quietly. "It's probably for the best." She sighed softly, "My aunt was right. I'm nothing but a curse." She murmured, half to herself.
 
Chrys stared at her wand as she whipped it out, telling him to hold still. He didn't like Sapphire being armed whilst he was still wandless with his in his pocket. He heard an audible crack as he nose was moved back into place and he dropped his hand from his face as Sapphire cleaned the blood off of his face. He moved away from her, looking down at his bloodied robes and hands. "Yuck," he moved to pulled his wand out of his pocket, cleaning off his hands as he did so by running them down the front of his robes. They were already bloody anyway so what was one more really? "F*ck you, Sapphire," he said, pointing his wand at himself before waving it slightly and attempting tergeo. It wasn't as successful as he'd like, only the bigger sections of blood cleaning up leaving the smaller drier sections there, but it was better than his whole chest being sticky. Better than nothing and considering he was in no means adept at the spell, only really learning it this year through Ofira, he supposed to was not going to immediately be a expert. He put his wand back in his pocket and gingerly pressed his fingers to his nose. He was sure it wasn't fixed properly. He was absolutely convinced that it was crooked or something. He'd always liked his nose and now he ws definitely sure it wasn't right. To prove his point, he turned and pulled his wand out again, calling a mirror and waiting as it came to him before grabbing it out of the air and holding it up to look and looking at his nose. "I'm sure it's crooked. It's definitely crooked." He said, scrutinising his appearance in the mirror. It was never going to be the same ever again. He looked over at Sapphire as he heard her talking to herself, hearing the tail end of what she was saying. He dropped the mirror, hearing it clatter to the ground as he walked over to her and sighed. "Sapphire, you're not a curse, alright? None of what happened was your fault, you know Onyx kept you so high on a pedestal he would do anything for you, you're like a God to him. That's not on you, that's on him and you know that." he said, reaching out to touch her but deciding against it. He thought back to what he heard her saying as he'd cried about his nose. "Onyx... would never have forgiven himself if something happened to you, and, you know, he's going to be okay... maybe not for a long time but, he wasn't killed Sapphire. He's going to be fine eventually. That's what they said right?" He didn't know because he wasn't there, but he had to assume that was the truth, since he'd only heard about a loss of memory and not loss of life or anything more horrifying. Chrys really wasn't in the right place for this and it wasn't like he wanted to compare tragedies but he almost wanted to say, at least she still had her brother. Rowan had lost her sister completely and she'd never get her back. Chrys didn't say that though, because it wasn't what he was here to do.​
 
Sapphire rolled her eyes as Chrys cussed at her. She felt a little guilty about his nose, but still, of all people, he should know not to grab her. She shook her head as he spoke, staring off into the distance. "He might not ever get his memories back," She murmured. "I cost him everything." She shook her head. "Do you know what that's like? I was so relieved when he woke up, but then he looked at me, and he didn't even know me." She rubbed a sleeve over her eyes. "It was my fault he caught you with Elio, I was the one that introduced him to Jake, I was the reason he's... the way he is now." She sighed. "Everything bad in his life is always my fault,"

She hesitated a moment before turning and brushing his hair from his eyes, her fingers trailing lightly down his face. "Enough of that, how are you? Are you okay, boo be-" She froze, entire body tensing. She pulled her hand back, stepping away and crossing her arms over the railing before looking away. "Chrysander," She corrected herself softly, ignoring the little twist of her heart. He wasn't her boo bear. Not anymore. He had made that perfectly clear. Onyx wasn't the only brother she had lost. She just seemed to drive away or hurt everyone that mattered to her.
 
Chrys had so much going on in his own life, and somehow he was connected to two tragic events. How was it that he knew three people that were going through stuff and yet he could do nothing about either of them and two of them were connected to the same thing. He supposed that was what happened when people went to school together, things happened and people go involved. "Look, Sapphire," he said softly, finding he had a lot more tolerance for people's emotions these days than he'd ever expected to. It wasn't like he was about to tell Sapphire he was sorry for what happened, because he wasn't really, well, not in the way she would expect, but he didn't want to be cruel for cruelty sake, he wasn't that person. "I know you're hurting, and I know you're scared. This sucks, and you blame yourself," he said, sighing. Because it was so obvious. Maybe he hadn't spoken to Sapphire in months, but he still knew her, she'd been a close friend for a time. And more, sometimes. "Elio wasn't your fault, it was mine, I should have told him ages ago how I felt and things ended because we weren't right for each other, it happens. I don't know what happened with Onyx and Jake, alright, but that's not your fault either. That's between Jake and Onyx, okay, you can't blame yourself for every little thing. Onyx is his own person, even now," he said, bending slightly so he could focus on her face. "You know that, I know you do. He was without you for years, you didn't raise him." He reminded and he knew it was a bit of a low blow to remind her that they hadn't grown up together, but maybe that was what she needed. "Your Aunt is responsible for all of this, you can't beat yourself up." He had enough to say to her that he could ignore her question to him. He might have been talking to her, but he still wasn't a sharer. Not right now, not whilst he was barely hanging on himself. Maybe one day, but not right now.​
 
Sapphire shut her eyes, knowing Chrys was right, but knowing it didn't help ease the guilt that twisted her stomach. She knew everything he was saying- Onyx's crappy taste in guys was his own doing, they hadn't always been together, and yeah, her aunt had been responsible. But that blow had been meant for Sapphire, not her brother. She sighed, shaking her head. "You're ignoring my question, Chrys," She gave him a half a smile, not expecting an actual answer. She turned, one hand keeping a tight grip on the railing, and she placed the other very lightly over the nape of his neck, standing on tiptoe and touching her forehead to his shoulder- a very light, very open, very cautious hug, one she fully expected him to reject, to pull away from.
 
Chrys wasn't friends with Sapphire and there was a very good personal reason for that. Keeping himself sectioned off from certain people in his life was an important point for him and the only reason he had even come up here today was as a favour to the memory of the relationship they'd once had, but had no longer. Since then, he'd been physically assaulted by her, made to feel inadequate and very much like his own emotions and feelings didn't matter because all he'd been able to do was try and make her feel better about herself. And she'd given him nothing at all. Chrys' hand went to his nose again, he still didn't feel right about it, and how could he know if she even knew anything about healing magic anyway. As she moved her hand to his neck, a very intimate move he only associated with people he was still friendly with, he went rigid and stared at her. She was trying to be affectionate with him right now? Really? Chrys immediately felt very stressed. He wasn't entirely sure why he didn't want her to touch him, but he really didn't. He really, really, just wanted her to let him go and so without quite meaning to, he twisted out of her grip and stepped away. "Really? Are you serious right now? I already told you I didn't want anything to do with you, and you're trying to be friendly with me. F*ck sake, Sapphire, I don't want to be your friend, okay!" He said, shaking his head and immediately heading out of the tower. Why couldn't people just leave him alone.​
 
Sapphire winced when he pulled away. She couldn't say she was surprised. She bit her lip for a second before trying to follow after him. "Chrysander? Please, wait." She didn't try to approach him again, keeping her distance.
 
The north towers was somewhere that Elio found himself most of the time, or at least comparatively since the rest of his time was spent in his dorm. He was on his way back from the owlery when he heard the voices up ahead in the corridor, and it wasn't until he turned the corner to see Chrys shifting out of Sapphire's grip that he placed the sounds. Elio had enough on his plate as it was, between trying to look after himself and Rowan, that his prefect duties were somewhat overlooked. That was, until he noticed the shade of red that was splattered on the Hufflepuff's shirt. Was that blood? He was coming towards Chrys but glanced over his shoulder to see Sapphire trying to catch up with him. It was concerning because Elio hadn't known Chrys to walk away from anyone before, and while he only knew Sapphire as another prefect, he couldn't help but wonder what had been going on here. He moved past Chrys, pausing in front of the Slytherin, "Hey, stop. What's going on?" he asked, not wanting to be biased although the smears on the Hufflepuff's shirt were somewhat alarming.
 
"Sapphire, just stop!" He said, moving away from her again. The distance she was keeping just wasn't enough for him. "Look I'm sorry that things are sh*t for you, but you can't just crawl back into my life, you -" He stopped, turning to look at Elio as he appeared and immediately cutting himself off. He looked down at his shirt and immediately pulled his robes closed so as to hide the evidence that Elio had probably already seen. "Nothing, it's fine." He said, looking at Sapphire. He didn't need things to heat up right now, he just needed to leave and be left alone, that's all he needed. Though he couldn't stop his subtle movement to be closer to Elio than Sapphire.​
 
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Sapphire was surprised to see another kid appear, one that was vaguely familiar. She sighed, rubbing a hand over her forehead. She let her shoulders droop a little as she turned to leave, though after a few steps she paused. "I don't understand people; I was forced to raise myself and I've never understood social rules or how to interact with anyone..." She hesitated a moment. "I don't know what I'm supposed to say. How I'm supposed to act. But don't think I tried to come crawling back when my life went sideways." She bit her lip. "I've never understood why you shut me out, or how you could just throw our friendship aside. I thought I mattered to you. That if I just... waited things would be okay again. If this is really what you want then... fine," She shook her head, turning again and walking away, hugging her arms over her torso. She needed Zennon, but she knew she couldn't turn to him. She couldn't turn to anyone anymore.
 
Elio's eyes hadn't lingered on the Hufflepuff, he didn't want to make him even more self conscious than he already clearly was, which was strange to see given it was Chrys, but in that second Elio felt the need to look out for him. After everything Ava had told him about how she wore a mask of being happy to cover up the fact she was scared, it made him wonder if he'd been blind in the past to what Chrys really was feeling. He caught on to what Sapphire was saying, although she seemed quick to get out of there now Elio had shown up. "Sapphire," he called out, keen not to just let this ride as it was. Isla had told Elio about what happened to Onyx, although getting that information out of her was like trying to get the juice out of a rock, so he was vaguely aware why the seventh year hadn't returned to school. He'd not thought much about Sapphire though, given he'd not had a reason to speak to her before, but it was obvious she was struggling too and if Chrys' shirt was anything to go by, more so than she wanted to admit. "Can we talk?" his face for the most part remained neutral with the exception of a very light frown on his forehead. "Prefect lounge. I'll be down there in a moment." It would probably be empty around this time anyway, and it was probably a better option to talk to the older girl by herself before anything else happened.
 

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