The gallery of us.

[Linden Kinnek]

It was the first night of Casper's first gallery. There was no way linden would miss this for the world. He was dressed in a plain T-shirt under a smart jacket and black jeans. Smart but not pretentious and was there ready if cas needed him. Not sure who was more nervous. He had no doubts about Casper's ability. But he didn’t want the critics to disagree and drag him into a spiral. He stood at the edge of the crowd. Feeling the skin of his collar itch slightly. A reminder of the fresh ink linking him and cas. He felt himself running his fingers over the spot, a habit he had started doing since he had decided on the tattoo whenever he was thinking of cas. In his other hand was a small pebble. Painted with a buttercup the stone beating a pulse between them reassuring them both that they were there and even though he was on the other side of the room. Even though the room was filled with the most remarkable art linden was not there for it. he thought he had seen it all already each at different stages of completion, some when he urged cas to have dinner or to come to bed. Others when cas proudly showed him the completed piece. it was the people he was interested in. scanning the room trying to gauge opinions. Occasionally having short conversations to people about this piece or that. but every few seconds he would glance at cas. Making sure he was okay. he knew that tonight was something cas needed to do on his own, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't be right there by his side. The second case showed even a hint of needing an out, or needing backup. or just needing him closer.
He turned a corner and it was only now that he was seeing some of the pieces that were unfamiliar to him. one piece of four personified seasons standing around a silhouette. at the next canvas he realised unfamiliar wasn't the right word. he recognised the work, a redo of one of the first pieces of art he had seen cas draw. a dove taking up a whole canvas all soft greys, cupped in a pair of hands that were so familiar to him he would recognise them anywhere. his own hands blown up to at least fifty times their actual size. his fingers went loose against the stone his empty hand rising to rub his collarbone as he looked at cas. a slightly surprised and slightly confused look on his face.

 

[Casper Kinnek]

Casper had been nervous as hell, waiting for this gallery to start. It was beyond bigger than he'd been expecting it to be. Thankfully, though, it was going well. He'd dressed nice, in one of his favorite suits. He kept the stone in his pocket, keeping the stone in his hand as well, running his thumb over it regularly. He chatted with a few people, talking to other artists, critics, a few more well off people that he was surprised to see. He hadn't been expecting to see anyone of any note here.

Casper kept looking over to Linden every now and then, smiling softly. Having Linden there with him made him feel more content. He socialized for a while, answering questions and making a few new connections. When he caught an odd look from Linden, however, Cas excused himself, walking over to his boyfriend. He smiled at Linden, offering out his hand.

 

[Linden Kinnek]

Linden didnt expect cas to leave whichever official-looking people he was talking to and come over to him. he took his hand and held it giving it a slight squeeze. "Cas. you need to be over there socialising, umm, networking. Not here with me. You can network with me any time you want" he said, not letting go of his hand. And giving it a slight squeeze. "I didn't realise that you had redone this one for display" he said looking over at the giant dove. and gesturing at it with a nod of his head.

 

[Casper Kinnek]

Casper smiled softly, lacing his fingers through Lindens. "Hey, it's my gallery, isn't it? I can socialize with whoever I want," He teased, pressing a kiss to Lindens temple. He smiled at the mans statement. "Well... this isn't the only one," He told Linden. "I may have used you as my muse," He confided, slipping his arm around Lindens shoulders. "Would you like a tour?"

 

[Linden Kinnek]

Linden smiled at the man standing confidently in front of him. he thought how much he had changed, hoe much he had grown from the eleven-year-old boy who had been so self-conscious about drawing after his 'mother' had told him it was a waste of time. "It is but you do need to make new connections. talk to important people." he said. Important art people" he added before quickly correcting himself before cas could interject. "It should be about your work, your art." he said though he didn't protest cas moving closer. "there's more? when did you have the time, i only saw you working on the landscapes." he said feeling cas kiss his temple and looking up to kiss his cheek.
Cas had called him his muse before. it was a statement that was hard to believe. He was just him. nothing special, not in a bad way he had been brought up with enough confidence in himself to doubt that. muses were meant to be he wasn't sure, ethereal, graceful, not teenage boys who spent more time shovelling poop and cutting up meat than posing. but hearing that here, that now made it easier to believe. you really have? haven't you?" he was tempted with the tour. and was torn a little. there were two reasons, cas needed to be networking. And he did want to see the pictures. and wanted to see them for the first time with cas and it would be weird to ignore this side of the room especially if someone recognised his hands, or some other part of him from the picture and asked for his feelings on it. but knew that sometimes work that personal could be very raw and sometimes show things that he wasnt ready to see. he thought for a second as he put his arm around Casper's waist and kissed him on the cheek before answering "If you have time i would love a tour now. then maybe a proper look later when it is just us here" he said.

 

[Casper Kinnek]

Casper chuckled. "I have been, silly." He promised, pressing a kiss to Lindens temple. He chuckled as Linden spoke about time. "I have my ways," He teased. It meant that he had been slipping out of bed after Linden fell asleep, but Linden didn't need to know that. Cas didn't want to get into too much trouble, after all. He smiled as Linden agreed to the tour, squeezing his arm around the man gently. "Did you notice the one before this?" He asked, pulling Linden back to the painting prior. The painting was one Casper had thought long and hard over. "It's the dorm, see?" He asked, nodding to it. The background was a beautiful blend of golden black, a mix that had taken several tries to acquire a pleasing color balance. The black velvet background shimmered a dark golden.

The figures- "Lucas," He pointed to the warm summer figure, with the sun shining on the lake, shimmering with the green grass of the pitch and the flowers of the wild patch around it. It reflected how he had always seen Lucas- warm, open. "Tiz," He pointed to the winter figure, a more harsh, frozen winter storm reflected in it, reflecting Caspers fear of the boy when they were younger. "Malachi," He pointed to the spring figure, with the warm rains and the streaks of thunder- a call back to when he would hide from the thunderstorms in Malachi's bed, back before Casper had forced himself to distance from the others.

He pointed to the last figure, squeezing his arm gently around Linden. "You," He murmured, indicating the Autumn. It was filled with leaves of all colors, hundreds, that had taken hours to complete, with a few smaller woodland creatures scampering among the foliage. Casper left out the figure- it was probably obvious at that point. If anyone looked closer, hints of color tried to peek out through the black of the silhouette, and safety pins held the silhouettes form. The silhouette wasn't perfect, either- it was wrinkled, flawed, almost as if it didn't quite fit the figure it belonged to, folded oddly every so often.

 

[Linden Kinnek]

Linden nodded as cas said that he had been networking. "Good" he said his tone formal and businesslike until cas kissed him. and he smiled when he said he had his ways. "i guess you were painting it while i was at work, or while you were visiting the beckets" he said. Thinking he knew cas still went to Abner and his cousins often so it sort of made sense that he would be using that time as an excuse to work on things without his knowledge as he often went to his parents the same time.
He looked back at the picture before it. He had seen it of course. the figures, the outlines. But he hadn't SEEN it. Not who the people were beyond abstract personifications of seasons. "I wonder what happened to them" he mused referring to the other boys who had not made it even to their OWLS. He reached forward not quite touching the figure in black, twisted and broken. "I guess this was early on when you were still being stretched and forced into the shape of what the Becketts wanted you to be" he said. moving his arm back away from the painting.

 

[Casper Kinnek]

Casper didn't contradict Linden, just smiling in response. He wasn't going to share his secret; not when he knew it would get him in trouble. Cas let Linden look over the painting, smiling softly at Lindens observations. "Yeah, it seemed fitting," He mused, his thumb rubbing absently against Lindens shoulder. "You saw the next one," He teased gently, nudging Linden back towards it. "I know it's basically a repeat of earlier works- the third installment, actually, but still. It's... well, It's a piece of us, don't you think?" He asked. He ran his hand over his hair, smiling shyly. "You know, this was the first time I practiced my art so openly." He told Linden. "I tried to hide it from everyone else... Lucas knew I drew dragons, I taught him how, but then I was more focused on him than the art." He pressed a kiss to Lindens temple. "This was the first time I really let myself be vulnerable like that, just losing myself in the art and letting myself be..."

 

[Linden Kinnek]

Linden smiled as cas "I do feel more like an autumn than a winter" he said. Moving his shoulder against Casper's touch. "you know it is funny that that memory is so important to you too. That was the first time I remember talking to you. like I know we had been dorm mated for a while and had the usual polite chats. But that day was the first time we actually had a proper conversation, the first time I saw you as a proper friend. i think you must have bumped your head" he said teasing at the end reaching for the top of Casper's head to make a point and running his hand though his hair brushing it off his face. Pretty sure he could remember cas bumping his head that day. He looked over at the next picture seeing another one of his memories spread across the canvas. what is the story of this one" he asked it was interesting hearing Casper's side of how their friendship had grown and how specific moments for him had been shared.

 

[Casper Kinnek]

Casper chuckled softly. "I did, I was halfway under the bed when you came in, you startled me." He told Linden, smiling. He listened as Lin spoke, nodding and squeezing his arm around the man gently. "It is one of the earliest memories I have of you," he admitted. As Lin looked to the next painting, Casper smiled. "For this one, I really leaned into the autumn metaphors," He told Linden.

The painting itself was the big tree out by the lake, having lost a good deal of leaves to the autumn. The lake was serene, peaceful, the same bird from the last painting sitting in its branches. The distorted shadow was curled up on the ground in front of the tree, resting. The leaves covered its lower half, a few scattered over its torso. He'd even taken the time to add more detail to the shadow. There were new leaf shaped imprints covering the shadow, swirls of color and light peeking out through them. The scene was very relaxed, warm and comforting in its color palette.

"It's a representation of our friendship in those early years." He told Linden softly. "A little more of myself coming through, wrapped up in the comfort and warmth of you." He explained almost shyly, turning his head to press a kiss to Lins temple. "You've been the closet thing I've ever had to a home, Lin. Not even the apartment compares... My home is wherever you are." He hid his face against Lindens hair.

 

[Linden Kinnek]

Linden smiled at Caspers comment "I know buttercup, " he said gently. He looked at the next picture he initially was bit obscure a little more symbolic however as cas explained it it makes more sense "I like how you are getting comfort from the tree but the tree is totally unaware of how much comfort it is giving" he said. He was pretty sure that was a rather realistic representation of the way things had often been between them.
when cas kissed him he turned and put his arms around his shoulders holding him in a way that he hoped felt like a blanket and made him feel safe and comforted. "if that is the case. We will both always have a home together, you are home to me too" he whispered. He certainly thought of the unit as his home now even though it technically wasn’t. But in truth he was pretty sure the main reason it was home was because Casper was there.

 

[Casper Kinnek]

Casper chuckled. "It is rather accurate, isn't it?" He teased gently, falling into the hug with no hesitation. He nestled his nose into Lindens hair, sighing softly in content. Casper smiled as Linden spoke, a thought popping into his head for a Christmas present. He tucked it away for now, nuzzling into Linden a bit longer before pulling back gently. "Shall we continue the tour, snowflake?" Cas murmured, bringing his hand up to tuck Lindens hair back again.

 

[Linden Kinnek]

Linden smiled as casper nuzzled into him. he could feel quite clearly the extent of the slight height difference between them. How cas had grown into himself standing straighter and taller. More confident in himself here than he had ever been at school. it really is. Though I had never though of it like that he said.
after a moment cas moved his face away from Lins hair and he let go moving his arms from around his shoulders and taking his hand again as Casper directed his attention to the next painting. This one looked like a castle hallway. Not like at the school but a dark medieval one. In the middle of the hall was a figure. It was hard to tell of it was a knight in a suit of armer, a statue or a ghost most of the scene was dark the only light coming from two places a window letti by in the moonlight it’s effect seeming to make the figure seem cold and illuminating it almost like a cloak over the shoulders but also made it seem less solid and less real. and a single candle that illuminated the man for it was a man but most of the warmth was gone other than where it hit a single yellow rose in his hands. That seemed to draw hot only the viewers attention but also the figures. rose giving?” he asked. Looking away from the painting and over to cas.

 

[Casper Kinnek]

Cas chuckled, pressing another kiss to Lindens hair as they moved along. He nodded slightly. "Mhm. One of the earlier years," he gave a little bit of a bittersweet smile. "I felt like I was fading. You were wrapped up in Lucas and the team, Sebastian was... not around, really, this was the year he was pretending I didn't exist. Just after my aunt died but before I spent the break at your house," He ran a hand through his hair. He snuggled a bit more into Linden at that, resting his cheek against the top of the mans head.

 

[Linden Kinnek]

linden listened to the information about the picture thinking back to when that would have been. "hmm, so the first half of fifth year" he said trying to get the years from school straight in his head. he had broken up with alexei and started to develop a crush on lucas which had taken almost a year of work to get into a date. the year he had attended the blind dates and ended up asking Finn to the ball for the first time. cas had been there too of course. but not necessarily in the forefront of his mind. he reached up and brushed caspers hair from his face. "You are never going to fade again. every part of you is important to me, every inch of skin and every freckle" he said looking up at casper running a finger down caspers back and around his waist as he leaned into him.

 

[Casper Kinnek]

Casper chuckled, shutting his eyes and leaning down into Linden, nuzzling his nose against Lindens soft hair. "I should hope not," He murmured, content to just rest against his love. "I'd be awfully cross with you if you changed your mind now," He teased gently, shifting slightly to press a kiss to Lindens temple. "And what would Lapis think?" He chuckled, leaning against him. Cas was fine to rest there. The night was a lot, especially for a shyer man like Cas. He spent a lot of time on his own, most of his free time spent with Linden or his cat. Having the spotlight on him in such a major way was sure to wear him out for the next week at least.

 

[Linden Kinnek]

linden smiled as cas returned the action the two of them leaning close to each other. always felt right. they could be in a crowded school hall, the middle of a market or even an art gallery where everyone was there for cas nad his works. but when they were close all that melted away and the world was just them. "be assured that i would be even more awfully angry with myself too" he said. sighing at Caspers kiss "ahh yes. the main second i stay with you is i don't want to upset the cat" before running his nose against Caspers's jaw hoping cas liked it even half as much as he did. "shall we move onto the next picture" he said turning his gaze to one that couldn't be more different from the last. it was a warm summer scene. their house at the dam. but it wasn't just the open landscape that filled up most of the shot. there he was, waist deep in the water droplets flying off his skin and from his hair as he threw a ball for an excitable bjorn. he remembered the afternoon well it had been a very hot day, and they had been sitting on the bank near the dam chilling listening to music and throwing an occasional ball for bjorn until lin had given up stripped down to his boxers and waded into the water bjorn joining him for a game of water fetch. cas had been sitting on the bank next to the water propped up on Willow inflatable doughnt sketch pad in hand. and head tried to encourage im into the water but cas had just sat there drawing away.

 

[Casper Kinnek]

Casper laughed lightly, shaking his head. "Lapis would never forgive you," He teased, moving along with the man and looking over the next painting. "This one had to be redone a few times," He admitted. "I really wanted to make sure it looked right." He admitted, leaning his head against Lindens. "This seemed to capture the feeling of that break really well... warm, carefree... though I did feel like more of an observer, I think this shot in particular captured both the memory and that feeling, being on the outside looking on, close but not involved."

He admitted, almost shyly. "Being on the outside looking in was a fairly common feeling back then. I could see these scenes, but... I was never really involved," He It was especially apparent then... I could see the life you had, the world you lived in, and I was sure I would never have that... never be more than just a passing face, never find a place where I could just... belong." He sighed, shutting his eyes and nuzzling his face against Lindens hair.

 

[Linden Kinnek]

linden chuckled as cas said that lapis would never forgive him. "and nor should he. i would deserve every scratch he gave me" he said. thile their cat loved Casper he was never quite as keen on lin and while they had got on better together, especially now he was practically living at Caspers house there were still days where he would play fight with just a few too many claws to be truly playing. he looked at the picture, the warm light of golden hour captured in paint. "It looks perfect. The landscape, the lighting, the water flying everywhere. i love it" he said not thinking what it meant that his favourite of the series so far was a picture of him and Bjorn. "I thought you didn't want to come in, that you were happy just drawing. i am pretty sure i asked you to join" he said.
as cas said that is what he had felt like back then. a spectator to life, not a participant in it he looked up at him "do you still feel like that? not right now. right now you are right in the middle of this room, everyone is here for you. but in life do you still feel like a spectator who doesn't belong?" he asked.

 

[Casper Kinnek]

Casper chuckled. "Such a shame. You're Lapis' favorite, too," He teased, knocking his hip gently against Lindens. At the question, he ran his hand through his hair. "You did. I just didn't want to intrude," He replied honestly, his voice a bit more gentle. He considered Lindens question seriously, rubbing his thumb against Lindens shoulder. "I... suppose I do." He offered slowly. "Though... I'm not sure if its because I'm just used to being that way, or if the world is still the same as it was." He ran a hand through his hair. "The apartment is rather comfortable... it's like a little haven, I think." He smiled softly, pressing a kiss to Lindens hair. "Especially when you're around."

 

[Linden Kinnek]

standing there with casper so close he wished that he had waited until after the even to let cas show him the tour. or that he had had the chance to come early and get the tour before everyone arrived because he wished that they were not in a room full of people who ere inevitably looking at cas and by extension him. of course if it was just the two of them he had a feeling that they would have somehow gotten distracted and not be this far around.
he listened as casper said he hadn't wanted to intrude and still felt that way sometimes. "Casper. if you are invited. it is generally not an intrusion. and you are not an intrusion" he said leaning in as cas played with his hair. "I am glad that you find your apartment a safe haven." he said. as casper kissed his hair. he smiled at the comment. "it's a haven for me too. especially with you there" he said looking up at cas before kissing him. for a couple of seconds longer than what he figured was appropriate for the situation but he didn't want to pull away. "I love you and i am so proud of you. but please don't let me distract you if you need to talk to people and shake hands. we can continue later" he said. it was okay for cas to distract him this wasn't his work, his show. but he didn't want to be the one distracting casper or embarrassing him when he had so many people here wanting to see him and he could have caspers attention whenever he wanted.

 

[Casper Kinnek]

Casper smiled softly at Lindens words. He wasn't surprised by the mans attempts at reassurance. He wasn't sure if he believed it, but still. It was sweet all the same. "You're such a sweetheart," he murmured, pressing a kiss to Lins temple. "But I'm all yours right now. Should we continue on?" He suggested, knocking his hip gently against Lindens. "I'd like it if you saw all of these before my mom gets here. I'm eager to show her around, too," His heart skipped a little as he thought of his mother being here, seeing all of his work, judging it. Would she be an artist, critique his paintings, or would she act like the mothers he'd read about, praising every piece and wanting to hang them on her fridge? He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly nervous again.

 

[Linden Kinnek]

linden rolled his eyes. "I'm not trying to be sweet." he said bumping caspers hip back. "and I'm going to be all yours later" he said a cheeky grin spreading on his face. he couldn't help it casper seemed to wear confidence tonight like he knew how attractive it made him. but as conversation turned to martine he could see some of that confidence falter. a nervous twitch returning to his man. he reached up and put his hand on top of caspers against the back of his neck moving in closer noticing every part of the three inches cas had on him. "don't stress. it is all going awesomely and she will love them" he said kissing him "now buttercup. what do we have next?" he asked looking at the next questions that certainly didn't look as happy as the last ones.

 

[Casper Kinnek]

Casper chuckled at Lindens words, stealing a quick kiss. "You better be," He countered softly, squeezing his arm around Linden before straightening again. He was drawn from his fretting as he felt Lindens hand over his, looking down just as Linden leaned in. Cas could feel the blush on his cheeks, and cleared his throat quickly. He sighed as Linden asked his question, and lead the man over to a new painting. In this one, the figure was hidden in the darkness of the treehouse. The walls were wooden and the window was covered with a thin veil that blocked out the light. The figure itself was cracked, blurred, back against the wall as it curled in on itself. The other side of the wall, however, was a stark contrast, bright and warm. It was a perfect autumn day, with roots and vines slowly breaking into the wall and starting to saturate some of the darkness the figure was hidden in. "Nothing very fun," Casper countered with a shy laugh. "I didn't hold back with these," He offered shyly in way of an explanation.

 

[Linden Kinnek]

Linden smiled slyly at Caspers words oh I will be ba- he said being cut off by Caspers kiss. The next few pictures were. Not particularly happy ones. He could place a few. When they had fallen out iverbquidditch and Lysander. Until cas stopped them at what could only be described as a haunted treehouse. And that is when you ran away. I remember that break. I had mum and willow scouring the countryside for you” he said. It was also the break when he had first met Tara, and when he and Lucas had got together. They passed through a few more one following sixth year. They were sad. Ones that represented stories he didn’t know well. Lysander, then one of roses. A token red rose and a yellow rose crafted so beautifully and so sad it made him pause this was the start of the end for me and Lucas he said smiling it hadn’t been a good memory at the time. But it was that that had also been the catalyst for cas moving into the arts room leaving him to find him which while he didn’t admit it at the time was the beginning of him liking cas. Then came one of a beautiful cat with a collar which he was not supprised had already been marked sold. The first time he would actually admit to starting to like cas just a few days before Lucas had broken up with him. And then he stopped at the next one. A two figures sitting at the bottom of a tree shillowetted against the lake. Barron in winter. He could feel the cold through the canvas but also the warmth and beauty of the moment. ”and this was when I realised I loved you not as a brother or a friend. But I really romantically loved you as you” he said blinking to try and not let his emotions get the better of him. But this show of pictures, Casper laying out his feelings that he knew he would have struggled to vocalise out not just to him but to the world to see was so much and so brave.