Sixteen, Going On Seventeen

[Lucinda Dalton]

Lucy had to confess that she'd only ever been to the gardens one or two times in her years at Hogwarts. She'd never really felt reason to, preferring to stay inside and study. Plus, being away for a while had helped.

Though, in recent times, she'd come to enjoy being outside, only for short periods of time. In the last year, her normally very pale complexion had coloured a bit, giving her skin a healthy pink glow. She was careful never to spend too much time outdoors, however, but going outside and walking had really helped her cope since her mother's condition had worsened. While she wasn't exactly the best at coping, she at least looked like she was handling herself and her grief.

It had been about four months now, and she was starting to smile again. In some moments, one could see flashes of the old Lucinda Buckley.

But trials truly made a person, and the young girl who'd left Hogwarts in the middle of her fourth year was now almost an adult. She was rapidly approaching her seventeenth birthday, and it was very easy to tell. She looked older - not in a bad way, she just looked mature.

She was a very different person, but still, the little girl who had left Hogwarts was still in her heart. Just very much repressed.

Today, however, she was going to let her out for a little while. Slipping off her flats, Lucy spun around on the soft grass, a smile crossing her solemn face. Spinning and spinning, until she fell down on her back, her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkling. She was still a child, even if only for one more month.

 

[Edmund Kreuz]

Edmund had just finished marking a stack of homework, and had decided, at long last, that he had earned an hour or two of rest. Only briefly did he poke his head into the Great Hall to dine lightly, before he deemed it time to get some exercise. It was a lovely day and spring was in the air, warming the world up with gentle encouragement. He had not really expected to see anybody else in the Hogwarts Garden, which he soon diverted to for a bit of peace, though his eyes picked out the face of an older student. How old, he didn't know. What caught his attention was her behaviour, which he only just managed to glimpse; spinning. She had been spinning, alone in the garden. Just spinning. And now she was laying down. Edmund, dressed in his usual dark shirt, but with a pair of dark jeans (which was not entirely normal for Edmund when he was at Hogwarts), approached the girl in silence. He raised an eyebrow.

"Having fun?" He didn't ask it in a rhetorical or sarcastic, or anyway aggressive manner, but a genuinely intrigued way. At Durmstrang, Edmund had not been well acquainted with the female of the species, apart from the odd, confidence-ridden flirt who would so easily catch his eye. This girl, however, was not surrounded by a swarm of other girls. Was she alright? There was a hint of a smile upon her face, but Edmund knew that women were very complicated creatures that, for some strange reason, made a point to claim an emotion often inverted of their own.

 

[Lucinda Dalton]

"Oh," Lucy murmured, in almost a dream-like state. Her head felt light, but not in a bad way. It was just an odd feeling. "Hello, Professor."

She didn't know the Professor all that well, but she'd seen him out in the grounds so she assumed he taught Care of Magical Creatures. It had never been a subject that had taken Lucy's fancy, but she could see the appeal. Lucy, however, preferred to take subjects that required textbook learning and staying inside.

The lightheadedness was making her smile, even if her head was a jumble of emotions. Still, no need to worry or burden the professor with that, especially since she didn't even know him and he probably had plenty of other things to do. Especially since he was actually kind of an attractive Professor - the hormonal Lucy was a tad ashamed to admit something like that to herself, but it was true - she didn't want to bother him too much.

Maybe just look a little more.

"Absolutely. It's almost like a combination of drinking and going on a rollercoaster, but at a fraction of the cost. N-not that I would know anything about drinking, Professor," Lucy added, an innocent look on her face.

 

[Edmund Kreuz]

"I should hope not," Edmund said sternly, though a slight twinkle appeared in his eyes. He assumed this meant that she was not yet seventeen. In his youth, Edmund had gotten up to all sorts. Why should the youth of today be any different? Edmund had never been on a rollercoaster. He hardly knew what one was. All he remembered was that he had seen a couple of them; tracks on stilts, a bit like a train over a bridge, except these metal things sped along the tracks, twisting, turning, loop-the-looping. The fact that muggles would ride these things out of choice, did not fail to astonish Edmund. Then again, Quidditch was a bit of a rollercoaster in itself, and he had played that, and enjoyed it.

"Is there a reason why you remain unaccompanied and in the garden?" it was a question, if a little intrusive. Beneath the rough German exterior, which Edmund occasionally tried to maintain, there was a genuine and caring man who enjoyed cheering up others, and often yearned for intelligent company. His seemingly powerful stance and unintentional stare, were instantly melted away by his warm brown eyes and very slight smile.

 

[Lucinda Dalton]

Crossing her legs, Lucy leant back on her elbows and looked up at the Professor, the smile on her face becoming that bit more genuine. She had never been the best at reading people, but the Professor seemed quite nice - after all, the tiny smile on his face seemed rather genuine. She liked that, though the emotions she showed at the present weren't exactly truthful.

"No reason, Professor, I just needed to stretch my legs," she replied, simply. "Have I done something wrong?" She blinked her bright blue eyes at the Professor, probably being impertinent but not exactly caring. "Is there are reason you're in the garden all by yourself?"

Immature? Yes. Still, it was almost fun.

"The library, as much as I adore the place, does happen to get rather dull from time to time. Especially when overrun by first years and hormonal teenagers."

 

[Edmund Kreuz]

Edmund listened to the girl speaking. He smiled politely. Putting himself in her shoes for a moment, Edmund could understand that it was, perhaps, a little strange to talk one-to-one with a teacher without a detention being in progress. There was quite a contrast between the two people, if anyone cared to see it. Edmund was a man of the world, knowledgeable of the dark humour life would often throw at a person. This nameless girl, with her bright blue eyes and smile, was surely far too young to know of such things. "No and no," Edmund said casually, "but perhaps you can give me one."

Edmund took life in his stride, and nothing surprised him, anymore. Well, there were possibly one or two things.. He nodded in agreement with the girl. His eyes seemed honestly interested, even if he remained stood quite rigid, thinking it improper to be seen casually laying down beside a student and having a conversation. Still, he seemed pretty relaxed. "Ah, I see.. And you do not believe yourself to fit in amongst them?" an unintentionally bold question, though he said it with a crooked smile. There was definitely something up, Edmund could sense it.

 

[Lucinda Dalton]

Noting the obvious difference in height between them, Lucy thought it was probably best to stand up. She was reasonably tall, about 5'8", no doubt shorter than the Professor, but it was probably a good idea to not have him look down at her as she lay on the ground. She may not have had the best understanding of propriety, but she had a fairly good notion. Swivelling on to her knees, Lucy slowly brought herself on to her feet and stood up to her full height, ignoring the grass stains no doubt coating her uniform.

"I can most certainly try, Professor," Lucy said, a half-genuine smile on her face. Though, with his next question, her face fell slightly. "Being normal's never been one of my strong suits," she admitted. "It's overrated, I know," she added, forcing a laugh, but making it sound hollow and empty. "I suppose you'd think it foolish of someone like me to say they'd been through a lot, so I guess it's probably not the case, but I just like to come out here to cool my head and relax..." she trailed off, before looking at the Professor almost guiltly. "I'm rambling. I have a tendancy to do that. I'm sorry, you must have a million and one better things to do than listen to me," she said apologetically, looking down.

 

[Edmund Kreuz]

Edmund was not entirely sure what was considered 'normal', nowadays. This girl seemed troubled by something, and if that was abnormal, then Edmund knew not a soul who was normal. He smiled gently, waving his hand in a gesture to continue onwards. "Everyone is entitled to express themselves through the freedom of words. I do not think it foolish. Most of my troubles occurred during the age of adolescence. Besides, I am not the sort of person to, how to put it.. 'hang about' if a conversation is of no interest to me. As it goes, this is relevant to my interests." He would never get used to being an adult, responsible for his every action and nearly forty years old. It was daunting, really.

"I became a professor for several reasons; one of those reasons is that I am keen to learn of the troubles that today's youth must suffer through," Edmund was used to talking to crowds, performing and presenting himself in a way that would make him seem tough, yet relaxed at the same time. In this case, he was throwing in some genuine interest. "The greatest cause of upset for my generation, was the opposite gender." Again, his eyes twinkled. He had a feeling that not a great deal had changed. "So, tell me what troubles you, young .. I'm terribly sorry- how rude of me- I have not yet asked you your name."

 

[Lucinda Dalton]

Lucy had really lucked out. Better than coming across someone like Landon, who just made her heart ache, or Artemis, who...well, she frankly had a lot of stern words she wanted to say, but not the heart to say them. Or Professor Styx, who would've just yelled at her or something. This professor seemed really nice and friendly, although he had a stern exterior. She didn't feel particuarly intimidated by him, which was something. Though she couldn't help but wonder how he'd react if he found out her blood status. That was a true test of character in a witch or wizard.

"I suppose you do have a point, Professor." He was incredibly understanding. She liked that. It added to his attractiveness, as terrible as that was to admit. "The opposite gender is often a source of problems, this is true. If it's not thinking they're horribly yucky at a young age, it's affairs of the heart." Lucy sighed. "My...ex-boyfriend...well, I had a year and a bit away from the school, my mum was very ill. We broke up because I wasn't sure if or when I'd come back here. It didn't look like I would." She decided not to mention more about that, for fear of crying again. "He's now dating a girl in my dorm, it's kind of painful. I guess it sounds silly," she added, dismissively. "But you know, when you're a stupid teenager, and you have your first boyfriend or girlfriend, and you think you're madly in love and it's going to last for the rest of your life..." Lucy gave a light chuckle. "It just sucks to be proven wrong, to put it simply, I guess."

"My name's Lucy, by the way," she added, realizing she'd ignored his question of her name. "Lucinda, really, but pretty much everyone calls me Lucy." The blonde extended a hand to the Professor, in order for him to shake it - if that wasn't improper. Lucy didn't care much for doing the right thing at this point. She was just glad to be able to make a friend, regardless of their age, status, gender or looks.

 

[Edmund Kreuz]

Edmund listened attentively to what the girl, or rather, Lucinda, as he soon learned her name to be, had to say. She seemed remarkably mature in comparison to the girl he had witnessed upon his arrival. "What a lovely name, Lucy," he began with a compliment before tackling the rest of the conversation. He decided it would be alright to shake her hand, and he did so very lightly, not wishing to be in trouble for breaking a student's hand. Being madly in love was precisely what Edmund had once been, and he had thought it would be something to go on forever. It didn't, of course, and he ended up causing more trouble in a bid for revenge. Still, his past was behind him and he had since moved on.

"I'm sorry to hear about your mother," he momentarily inclined his head respectfully. His own mother had never seemed to find the time to fall ill. Mrs. Kreuz was a very house-proud woman, and nothing could slow her down. "As for this boy, I can only assume that he was not blessed with the best of brains or eyesight. You seem like a perfectly charming young lady and any man of sound mind should be seeking your affections." Edmund could agree that the situation was at least awkward, if not torturous for those involved. "I take it that it is not simply the carelessness in which the situation has come to be, but also your feelings that are bothering you?" He may have been wrong, but perhaps she still had feelings for her ex-boyfriend. This got Edmund reflecting upon his own romantic life; how had those women felt when he had ended the relationship? It was the first time he had really bothered to think about their emotions, and it was thanks to Lucy that his life was beginning to make a breakthrough.

 

[Lucinda Dalton]

Lucy couldn't help but blush when he complimented her name. She'd always seen Lucy to be a very ordinary, run-of-the-mill name, but the professor seemed to like it, which brought a smile to her face. Mentally, she slapped herself for her typically teenage behaviour, but at least she could come across as very intelligent and mature. At least, she certainly hoped she could.

Still, she had to fight back a choke at the thought of her mother. As long as Lucy could remember, it had just been the two of them. Her dad had hardly been a part of her life, having a family of his own on the other side of the country. Her mother was very much a bohemian artist type, but she was a teacher, and a very good one at that. Her grandmother was looking after her now, but Lucy figured she'd just spend as much time at Hogwarts as she could, so as not to be a burden. Besides, in about a month's time she'd be an adult - in the wizarding world, at least. Then she'd be able to go wherever.

She blushed harder, though, as the Professor complimented her some more. "You're awfully kind, Professor," Lucy replied, graciously. "I fear I may be too much of a wallflower, however. It's of no consequence. As always with these sorts of relationships, it feels like the end of the world, but it's getting better. I-it's just...after the funeral..." The funeral - she'd never mentioned that to anybody, and she almost wanted to stop herself from talking right there.

"I'm just lonely, that's all it is."

 

[Edmund Kreuz]

Edmund felt himself tense slightly at the mention of a funeral. He mentally heard himself questioning as to who was caring for this girl, now. Was there a father in the picture? He had not really cared, as such, for others, but Lucinda seemed to have awoken something deep inside of him, something caring and fatherly. Being lonely was something that Edmund had not given himself the time of day to feel, kidding himself into believing that the occasional girlfriend was all he needed in life. But he wanted a family, a wife. The clock was ticking and if he didn't buck up his ideas, he would run out of time.

"I am sorry for your loss." What more could he say? It wasn't as though he could just put his hand on her shoulder and tell her that everything would get better, was it? Strangely, that was exactly what Edmund did without thinking. "Everything will get better," he promised, "time is the greatest healer, and I know that is not much consolation, but it is the truth of the matter. Time and friends." Edmund closed his mouth quickly: Did she have friends? Did she have someone to talk to about her upset, about the failure of a boyfriend and the funeral? He didn't wish to further question her aloud, though his eyes spoke every word. What support could he offer, other than that of future meetings?

"Do you sing?" he asked suddenly, moving on to explain himself, "When I get lonely, I like to sing. It's very good for the soul." He was talking so openly with Lucinda that it was as though they had known one another for many months. This was as close to an attempt at honestly comforting someone as Edmund had ever been.

 

[Lucinda Dalton]

Lucy moved a hand up to her mouth, mentally slapping herself harder for blurting something like that out. It had been a rough time for Lucy, but she was working through it, she told herself. She had trouble but she was throwing herself in to her studies and trying to ignore everything else. It was sort of working...sort of. She'd been keeping her heart walled up, and while she often caught herself musing over everything and tearing up, she was steeling herself and trying to get on with her life.

"Thank you," Lucy whispered. "I am sorry to bother you with my issues, I'm sure you deal with that enough with your own students," she added lightly, trying to maintain a relatively cheerful view. As for the friends part...well, she'd become acquaintances with the other witches in her class the year away, but never anyone she could ever properly talk to. The only friends she'd ever really had at Hogwarts were Landon (and to a lesser extent, Artemis), but she was doing her best to avoid him. It seemed to be working pretty well, actually.

"Only in the shower," she joked. Lucy, while not exactly tone-deaf, had never been much of a singer. She could hold a tune, but she preferred to hear others sing rather than use her own fairly mediocre singing voice. "Are you a good singer, Professor?" Lucy suspected that question was impertinent, but she meant no harm. She loved music and knowing people who loved it and made beautiful music made her quite happy.

 

[Edmund Kreuz]

In truth, Lucinda was doing more good than harm, and Edmund was beginning to see the world in a whole new light. He shook his head in reply. No, he did not have students who sought his advice and guidance. After all, in classes, he wasn't exactly the friendliest of teachers. "Hmm," he replied, looking Lucy over as though expecting to see the shimmering star dust of talent pouring out of her arms. Many people who shied away from the light, were the real singers, and those who dwelled in it, were often mediocre. As for his own musical talent, Edmund decided not to blow his own trumpet. "I do practice when I get the chance, so I hope that I am somewhat decent." He smiled a gleaming smile. It wasn't staged. The smile inhabiting his face at that moment, was real.

"Practice is key. Practice whenever you are alone, and sing as though the entire castle is empty. Of course, if you can't find solitude within the castle, I am sure there is somewhere else you can go to. I, personally, sing to myself as I am preparing for a lesson within the forest. It wards off dark creatures." he said, jokingly. His face turned a little stern, "But this does not mean that I am encouraging you to venture into the forest when nobody is around, find a nice tree to sit in, and sing yourself hoarse." Her interpretation of his words were, as he had attempted to make clear, her own. The forest was a dangerous place when a student was unaccompanied, and a forbidden one. "How about we have a practice now?" This sudden suggestion was so spontaneous that even Professor Spontaneity from the little village of Spontaneous, who had studied spontaneity at the highest level and had received an honors degree, would have been surprised, if only mildly so.

 

[Lucinda Dalton]

Although Lucy may have been brave enough to spark up casual conversation with this Professor she barely knew, she certainly wasn't brave enough to sing in front of him. He probably was some sort of lyrical genius with the voice of an angel, and she was nought but an awkward teenage girl who could sort of play piano and sing but not really. Still, she kind of liked singing - in the sense that karaoke was fun at parties, and singing in the showers was nice, but she certainly wasn't brave enough for this. She felt as though doing such a thing would be almost like exposing herself to the Professor, leaving her feeling naked and embarrassed.

"I-I wouldn't do anything of the sort, Professor." Lucy hadn't stammered in a long time, but every now and then, when she felt incredibly nervous, she'd start to stammer or hesitate. It was a terrible habit that she'd worked hard to break out of - she wanted to at least appear semi-confident, but the Professor had caught her off guard. "But practice now? Are you serious?" It wasn't the right way to talk back to one of her superiors, but she was too stunned to remember her manners.

 

[Edmund Kreuz]

Edmund knew it was probably a lot to ask, but singing had been a distraction for him when he had struggled to cope with the ups and downs of life, however severe. He hoped that it would do the same for her. He was tempted to call off the whole idea, but now that he had said it, now that he knew it would function as a probable distraction, he would go through with it. "As serious as my passion for magical creatures." If she wanted to run from the scene, she could easily do it, but something told Edmund that Lucinda was made of stronger stuff, and that with the right encouragement, could be convinced to sing. "A little strange to just burst into song in the silence, I know. The first few times I tried singing, I nearly buckled under the silence, but then I began to hear beyond the silence. Everywhere, all the time, there is a rhythm to be heard, a background noise to enchant the soul. Listen."

The sudden absence of Edmund male voice meant that the volume at which nature could be heard, seemingly increased. There was an insect nearby, buzzing as it passed. And, somewhere, there were students laughing. Edmund withdrew his wand, murmured something, and caused a brief shimmer of a spell to create an audio barrier between them and the rest of the world. Nobody would be able to hear them properly. Edmund nodded to Lucy. "As the intelligent young lady I suspect you to be, I suppose you know what I have just done," A soft smile, an encouraging one. "I believe it is time we began." Edmund had no idea what either of them would sing, but this did not bother him in the slightest. "If you cannot think of a song, think of words that express the way you are feeling. You can speak them, if you so wish, although it is singing that conjures up 'the buzz'." He nodded at her to try something.

 

[Lucinda Dalton]

Lucy swallowed. On one hand, she just wanted to flat out deny him and run back to Ravenclaw Tower, but on the other hand, she was willing to give it a go. "Well, if you're sure, Professor..." Lucy awkwardly replied, trailing off shyly.

At least a girl who grew up living in relative silence could appreciate hearing beyond the silence. Her home had always been quiet, but at the same time, there was always something going on. Footsteps on the road, trains in the distance, birds singing in the garden...even silence could be deafening at times, as cliched as that sounded. And even though Hogwarts grounds was a bit different to the inner city, the same principal still applied.

Thankfully, the Professor had the sense to put up an audio barrier, too. That was nice. Now she was just singing for herself...and for him. It felt strangely intimate. Which was odd, considering he was her superior - she was only a student, and he was a Professor, but on the other hand, though she'd only been speaking to him for a little while, she already trusted him and saw him as a friend. "Bearing in mind Professor, you'll be the first person to have properly heard me sing since I was a very little girl..." she admitted, blushing again at this revelation.

Taking a deep breath, Lucy started to mutter underneath her breath. Barely comprehensible, but something that turned in to a sort-of chant. Her voice trembled - she was not a strong singer, not to mention her lack of confidence, but it slowly started to resemble a tune. She wasn't even sure what she was singing, but she let the music carry her along.

 

[Edmund Kreuz]

Edmund eagerly awaited the notes and the words that Lucinda would produce. He felt honored that she was even doing this, and even more so that he would be the first person to hear her sing since she was a little girl. He continued smiling, though for a moment, it looked as though it would disappear. Was she going to sing or would she fall silent? The answer was soon revealed to him, and his face lit up, practically glowing with encouragement and pride. And it wasn't pride in himself.

The tune had began to flow with the words. In many ways, this was all irrelevant- she was singing, which meant her mind would need to be devoted to the music and not whatever thought may possibly plague her mind. Edmund waited until she had finished, before he unleashed his praise. "Truly magnificent. You have clearly had some formal training that you have avoided telling me about." He winked cheerfully at her, waving his wand and removing the audio barrier. "Perhaps you ought to go into the music business, professionally. No doubt you have a favourite wizard-rock band that you would some time like to meet. Singing for yourself could get you that chance." He had no idea as to her blood status, and had assumed that she was well acquainted with the wizarding world, what with her seeming so intelligent.

 

[Lucinda Dalton]

Blushing profusely, Lucy hunched over in embarassment. Did he honestly think she was a decent singer? He was probably just saying that to be nice, but still, it was terribly kind of him to lie for her sake.

"Thank you," Lucy said in earnest. It did feel as though a weight was off her shoulders, and all it had taken was someone to cheer her up, to listen to her problems and give her a nice little distraction. "Only piano lessons before I went to Hogwarts, Professor," she chuckled. Honestly, she knew nothing of wizarding music. After all, she was a muggle-born, who lived in a muggle house when she wasn't at Hogwarts. "Maybe, Professor," she shrugged, straightening out again. "Maybe not, though. I haven't decided what to do with myself, so we'll see." She winked back at him, playfully. It was true, she didn't know what to do, but she'd never seriously consider music. She enjoyed it, but it was definately not a career option.

"I suppose I ought to leave you be, Professor..." Lucy muttered, awkwardly. She was rather enjoying spending time with the Professor - he was kind and attractive, after all - and she resented having to leave.

 

[Edmund Kreuz]

Edmund respected the fact that perhaps Lucinda had had enough of being around him; after all, it wasn't the most settling of things to be talking to a professor you hardly knew. If Edmund had been spoken to by a professor he didn't really know when he was at school, it was usually due to the fact that he had a detention to serve. He smiled and nodded. "Very well," he said, still pleased that she had sung and with a voice he felt was brilliant. "Don't feel that you have to part ways, although.." Edmund suddenly muttered, almost wincing as the memory of something came back to him: Parchment. Stacks of it. Oh, he had marked a lot of homework, but he had failed to remember the stuff within the confines of one of the drawers. "I am sure we both have things that need to be done." He turned on his heel, briefly smiling at her one last time, "Goodbye, Lucy. Keep practicing. Good luck with everything." And with that, he walked away, heading to the small office in which waited many sheets of parchment smothered in ink, asking to why they had yet to be noticed and marked.

Edmund may have been the tutor, but it was he who had been the conversation's pupil.