Closed You Didn't Have To

Jamie Derouin

beauxbatons grad; french national team chaser
 
Messages
429
OOC First Name
Emzies
Blood Status
Mixed Blood
Relationship Status
Married
Sexual Orientation
onyx <3
Wand
Knotted 12" Flexible Pear Wand with Erumpent Hide Core
Age
5/2031 (30)
Days had passed since the incident at the bar, with the very drunk crying man, but it had lingered in jamie’s mind for a while. He hadn’t heard anything from either, and though he had asked the man to do it, he couldn’t really blame him for not. After all, for all that man had known Jamie had been the cause of the woes. He was in his Marseille apartment, a close to the waterfront top floor apartment. It had a surprisingly large balcony for its location, and throughout the year had plenty of sunlight, it was a little more muggle central than most others, but it had been a steal, and it let him so often watch the sunset over the blue mediterrean sea. It was at that point morning, the air was cool, but all of the window’s in Jamie’s flat were open. It was a light and airy place, somewhat devoid of many things, but surfaces were adorned with pictures and trinkets from his family and his life. The picture with the team took pride of place in his hallway for all to see. But the January air was cool and he welcomed the breeze.
The man had a mostly free day, some drinks later with friends and friends of friends. He had practice early the next day and he’d been up early that day to buy fresh bread, coffee and some lettuce for lunch. Jamie took care of himself, he went running most days, ate well, his one occasional true vice were cigarettes, but it was only amongst some friends and certain drinks. But, he tried to do it less and balance it more with other things. Since the failed relationship with Mel, he had taken up yoga, something he did in the privacy of his own home, to help clear his mind and keep himself centred. He liked to think the flexibility it provided him, helped the team. But as he was tidying up and putting on a t-shirt that he heard someone at the door. He frowned, he wasn’t expecting anyone or anything..but he went to the door, his wand was in his pocket, so quick at hand if it was someone unwelcome. But As Jamie opened the door, he realised how not unwelcome it was. ”Onyx!”
 
Onyx had been having a rough few days. From spending a night in the bathroom puking his guts out with Uncle James curled up with him, rubbing his back, to spending the next few days mostly in bed both nursing a savage hangover and wallowing in self pity, he'd been miserable. Finally, though, he'd dragged himself out of bed and showered again, forcing himself up and about to both ease his uncle's worry and because he needed to fix some of his mess. He didn't remember much of being drunk, but he did have flashes of a man he didn't know and of him being an idiot. His uncle had told him that a stranger had come to his rescue, and had even left contact information to be sure Onyx was alright.

Sighing, Onyx tried to dress himself up a bit- styling his hair and taking the time to apply eyeliner, some mascara, and a light eyeshadow to make his eyes pop before putting on a light lip gloss. Satisfied that he at least looked presentable, he slipped into one of his nicer outfits- black skinny jeans with chunky boots and a black rock and roll t-shirt that fit him well, before throwing on his uncle's leather biker jacket. Onyx's look was really the only thing he had going for him, and if he was being honest he wanted to at least look cute as hell to make up for this stranger seeing him at his worst.

With the address in hand, Onyx made his way to the address, admiring the location. It was a nice place to live, at least. He swallowed nervously, flipping his lip ring out of habit as he moved to the front door. He kept one hand in his pocket, stuffing the other in his jacket pocket as well once he had knocked on the door. He shifted nervously, unsure what to expect as the front door opened. His eyes widened at the man that answered- or was he an Adonis? He was fit, tall, with soft hair that fell into gorgeous eyes the color of a stormy sky.

Onyx felt himself blush deeply, a familiar thrill shooting up his spine as the man said his name. No, Onyx, merlin, love at first sight is not a thing and you are not here for a date, he scolded himself, lowering eyes to the floor almost immediately. "Y-yeah," He stuttered a little, kicking himself for already sounding like a fool. "That's me," He managed nervously, scuffing his toes against the ground. "I just- um, I came to say I'm sorry," He continued, staring at his feet. "And t-thanks," He glanced up at the man from under his lashes, feeling insanely nervous.
 
Jamie looked at the man in front of him. He looked pretty good, better than he had when Jamie had last seen him, but then the man had been near catatonic so of course it wasn’t a high bar to beat. Jamie took the time to watch him, to take in the clothes, the lines of his face, perhaps he always dressed like this, or he’d just decided to dress up to come see a man, Jamie was sure he didn’t remember. However, he felt his whole body soften and a wide smile remain on his lips as the man stuttered out a thanks and an apology, ”You don’t need to apologise or say thanks, but thank you and you are welcome. You were pretty rough, I’m glad you both seem and look way better.” he replied, in english, with the ever so light french accent on his words. He then held out his hand to him, ”I’m Jamie by the way, I don’t know if you caught it.” he introduced, he hardly wanted Onyx to go away without really knowing his name. After all, If Jamie had his way, this would be the start of something….at the very least a friendship.
The man was not the usual type for him looks wise, but Jamie had always known that his attraction was inexplicably linked to how much he just wanted to be around a person, how much he wanted to help out and just be there. There was something about Onyx, had been something about that night that had truly drawn him in. ”Do you want to come in for some lunch? I was just about to make some?” he offered, opening the door a little and standing in a manner to invite the man in. He waved his hand a little, using wandless, nonverbal magic to get everything in the place to freeze in place in case Onyx was a muggle. The quidditch picture was always explained away as a joke to muggles so he wasn’t worried about accidentally exposing the magical world to the cute guy on his doorstep. ”I won’t take no for an answer,”
 
Onyx gave him a shy smile. Now that he was sober, Onyx couldn't stop noticing how good looking the man was. There was something about his accent- No, Onyx, stop it, he chided himself. He couldn't be noticing these kinds of things. For all he knew this guy was straight, and Onyx was an absolute mess. It wouldn't be fair to do anything when he was like this.

Onyx swallowed nervously, taking the offered hand. "Jamie," he gave the french man a shy smile. He hesitated as Jamie stepped aside and invited him in. Torn between wanting to get to know the handsome man better and not wanting to impose, Onyx slowly went inside. He glanced around, nervous, unsure of how to act, when he spotted a picture on the wall.

His brow furrowed and he stepped closer to it, examining it. There was something familiar about it, but Onyx couldn't place it. He stared a little harder, when the sickeningly familiar frustration of memory came rushing back. He stumbled into the wall, cursing quietly and clutching his head as the familiar headache began. A rush of images flashed through his mind, a confusing swirl of emotion and color and words that he struggled to place and understand. He whimpered softly, curled in on himself as he leaned heavily against the wall.
 
Jamie had almost not expected Onyx to come in, thinking that he would just not want to spend any more time around Jamie than that. After all in theory the man had only come to give him thanks and could then go. It was Jamie that had invited him to stick around. So when he walked into his flat, Jamie couldn’t help the light excitement in his step as he closed the door behind him and began to follow Onyx as he ventured into the place. Jamie could admit that he was pretty pleased that he was pretty tidy, he didn’t have to worry about a mess, all he had to worry about were all the different magical things. But he looked towards Onyx, noting that the man was looking at his quidditch picture and he watched with some curiosity and then panic as the man’s legs seemed to not work as well. Jamie rushed to the man’s side. ”Hey,” he spoke softly, trying to get the man’s attention, ”Hey, what’s going on? You okay?” he moved to get himself close enough to help the man, bring him off the wall and bring him to a chair in his kitchen, where the air would be light but it wasn’t too light itself. He wondered helplessly what had happened and how he might stop it from happening again.
 
It took a few moments for Onyx's head to stop swirling, and when it did he was surprised to see he was in a chair and Jamie was looking very worried. "I'm sorry," Onyx murmured, tears in his eyes again. Why couldn't he just be normal for two seconds around this guy? He took the glass of water from Jamie and downed it quickly- it always helped his headaches a bit. He kept the glass in hand, balancing it on his leg while the other covered his eyes, leaning his head back.

"About a half a year ago... my sister and I were attacked... she's alright, thank god, but I got my head knocked pretty good," He explained softly, unthinkingly running his fingers over the shaved side of his head. "When I came to, I couldn't remember a thing." He sighed, tangling his fingers in his hair. "I was pulled from school- I'm missing my last year. The dance, the roses, graduation, all of it." He sighed. "Memories are... they don't know if I'll ever remember everything. Or anything. Sometimes there are triggers, I can't really explain it,"

Onyx sat up, unthinkingly bending over to lean his head on Jamie's shoulder. "The picture. I... there were flashes. It's... confusing. I was on a team. But only sometimes? I never saw a game... the captain, I remember a little of him, stolen kisses and chocolate, pulling his hand away, being embarrassed to be with me in public... crying alone in the hall..." Onyx sighed. "My sister. She's the captain... no, she's sharing it, she's co-captain, beater... I would watch her play when she wasn't captain, that was this year, after they took me out," Onyx bit his lip, more colors and emotions swirling in his gut.

But then he came back to himself enough to realize where he was. He sat up quickly, blushing and scooting back. "I- that- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- heh," He rubbed his neck nervously, looking away. "That... that happens sometimes, I get these flashes and I get lost in my head sorting them out, I just- god, I'm such a mess, I'll leave if you want me to," Onyx stood, embarrassed.
 
Jamie was quick to grab the man a glass with water and pressed it into his hands. He was very confused as to what was going on with him. Jamie hoped it wasn’t too serious, or maybe it was just like a flash headache. He could at least admit that the trigger was his quidditch picture, perhaps this man would make the eventually reveal of Jamie’s magic easier given that he himself would be magical. The man however watched she man sent his head back and seem to be covering his eyes. He listened as Onyx told him what had happened. He felt his eyes widen in shock and couldn’t help but feel sympathy for the poor man. Jamie had enjoyed years at school, he had wanted nothing more that for Onyx to enjoy and have those memories too, but they were triggers. He thought it was almost cute when he spoke of what he’d seen with the picture, it meant he was magical, and with a little wave of his hand, Jamie wordlessly and non-verbally dismissed the spell freeze all of his magical items.
But he didn’t once take his gaze off Onyx during it. ”Wow, I”m so sorry Onyx, that all sounds hard and terrible” he told him with an honest tone. ”Full disclosure, I’m a quidditch player professionally, I play for France,” he told him, perhaps this would be a deal breaker for the man, but Jamie really hoped it wouldn’t be. He just shook his head. ”Don’t apologise Onyx, it’s not your fault and god, what sort of man would you think of me, if I just sent you out. Nah, we’re having lunch,” He told him. ”We can have it on the balcony if you feel up to it?” he asked. He didn’t want to force the man into any place he wasn’t comfortable so he knew to ask first. ”How do you feel about quiche?”
 
Onyx blushed when Jamie asked what sort of man Onyx would think he was. "You'd be a sane one," he tried to joke idly, sticking a hand in his jacket pocket and running the other through his hair. "We met and I was drunk as hell and in two minutes of walking in your apartment I nearly fell over." He chuckled nervously, moving to place his glass in the sink. "Yeah, the balcony is nice. Hell of a view, I can help cook if you want." He offered, slipping his jacket off and tying it around his waist. He turned back towards Jamie, unthinkingly trying to tie his hair back but pausing as his fingers ran lightly over the ebony fuzz.

He tried not to pout, distracting himself with an earlier comment. "Professional quidditch, huh? That must take a lot of work. Probably helps with the whole gorgeous Adonis thing you've got going," he stated absently, though realized immediately what he'd done. He straightened, turning bright red. "Not that I think- Not that you aren't- I mean," he laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck and looking around quickly. "Food! We're making food? I can cook," he chattered, heart pounding furiously in his chest.
 
Jamie shook his head at his words, ”I’d be a callous man, not a sane one. It’s more sane to make sure you are safe.” he told him as if it were obvious. He wouldn’t ever understand why someone would throw someone out of their place especially if they weren’t feeling 100%, especially if that reason was something like Onyx had just said. He shrugged at the summation but assured him, ”The latter wasn’t your fault. The former maybe, but I’m not going to judge a man by how drunk he is when something clearly really terrible happened and he was visibly upset,” Jamie assured him. Before laughing lightly at the offer of help. ”While I would normally appreciate, this is a bit of a cheat, because I bought it down at the local bakery…” he took it out of the cold store, magically so, and held it up. ”Do you like your quiche hot or cold?” he asked.
Jamie placed the quiche down and reached for his wand, giving it a quick wave and the cutlery and plates began making it’s way outside to the table on the balcony. He grabbed some lettuce, some tomatoes and some cucumber and began making quick work of making a salad. He couldn’t help the deep blush on his cheeks at the compliment. Adonis seemed like a bit much...but he couldn’t help but think it might help his chances with this guy. He was of course interested, but he didn’t really to push anything, especially given what Onyx had just told him, but Jamie was always willing to wait. ”But, if I’m Adonis, are you then Aphrodite?” he joked lightly, but nodded, ”I’m making a salad, but if you want to cut up the baguette, it’s in the bread bag, what will you want to drink?” he asked.
 
Onyx hesitated a bit when Jamie tried to reassure him he wasn't bad for being so drunk. "It... Was a while ago, technically. The, uh, the therapist says I'm just a crybaby and I need to man up," he admitted softly for the second time. He almost smiled. "Course, heh, when I told Uncle James that, he ah, promptly fired my last therapist and is off looking for a new one." Onyx shrugged, not really having much faith the new therapist wouldn't just be the same as the last one.

Onyx hesitated again as Jamie asked about his preferences. "I'm not sure... Im not even really sure what you've got, honestly. We aren't actually from around here." He chuckled. "I know I sound more Irish but we live in New Zealand, near Brightstone village. My uncle wanted a place close to the school when I found my sister, and we all sorta settled there once she moved in. She brought Jordie with her, its kinda nice having a little brother." He rambled nervously, before cussing quietly and looking away. He was a disaster, this was going horribly.

Onyx tensed when Jamie asked if he was Aphrodite, automatically laughing nervously. "What, me? No, no way," he moved to the bread bag to grab the baguette so he could occupy himself with something other than being an idiot. "I'm a disaster," he tried to joke, ignoring the shaking of his hands at the memories that flashed through his head. "I mean, I am adorable," he teased lightly, cutting into the bread carefully. "But I'm not anything special, heh, if I was my last boyfriend might not have had so much fun playing with everyone else," he bit his lip, shaking his head. "I only caught him with the one, but after he admitted that it wasnt the first or the last and he'd been at it for over a year, I..." Onyx set the knife down, finished with his task.

"Iiii am rambling," he ran a hand over his face. "I'm sorry, I'm just nervous." He admitted, glancing over to Jamie. "This is the first time I've really been out of the house since... Well, since Izzy..." He bit his lip, wrapping his arms around himself. "I, ah, I'm probably boring you. Did you grow up around here?" He asked, trying to pull his sh*t together and edging a little closer to Jamie, curious despite himself to know more about the other man.
 
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Jamie was making the salad and listened as Onyx told him more. He felt his anger rise at the thought of a therapist calling Onyx or anyone a cry baby. ”You uncle should get his whole practice taken down, for saying that,” Jamie told him with a little shrug though the tone was casual, there was a firmness to his words. He didn’t think all therapists were like that, it had just been a bad match and it was clear that Onyx needed a good match. He decided as Onyx didn’t seem to have a preference, but he laughed, ”Do they not have quiche in Ireland or New Zealand?” he joked lightly but it was interesting to hear about his life and his family. That meant that Onyx had likely gone to Hogwarts. He did decide that they would have it warm, so with a wave of his wand, he put it into the magical oven and would leave it for a little while.
Jamie thought it was kinda cute the way he reacted to the compliment being thrown back. Calling himself a disaster was less so, but at least he could call himself adorable. The information that followed was pretty sad, it just seemed to Jamie that this man had just had a rough couple of years. He definitely deserved this lunch and a little kindness, hopefully it would lead to more. ”His actions aren’t a reflection of you, but of him,” Jamie said with a shrug. But he wasn’t going to push it, instead he passed Onyx a bread basket so he could put in the now cut baguette. He grabbed a little butter and the vinaigrette and brought it all outside to the table, getting Onyx to follow him. He pulled out a chair for him, ”Sit, I’ll grab us napkins and some drinks and then we’ll eat,” Jamie made quick work of grabbing what they needed but he wasn’t sure what Onyx wanted to drink. So he brought a half drunk bottle of wine, some water and some butterbeer. ”I grew up in New Zealand actually. Dad’s french, mother’s kiwi. I moved to france when I was like 12, we lived in Nice for a while, then Lyon and finally Bordeaux. When I graduated I wanted to live south, so I moved to Marseille,” he gestured around to the port they were overlooking. But he moved to just serve Onyx, to get him some salad and some bread. Letting the man decide for himself which of the drinks he wanted.
 
Onyx shrugged. He was just done with the therapist, arguing over it was more effort than he wanted to put in. He shrugged again at Jamie's question. "I'm not sure. My uncle doesn't ever really cook just one type of cuisine. Chinese, American, Thai, Indian, Mexican. He throws together a lot of different things." He smiled a little at the thought. His uncle always made the best foods.

Onyx took the bread basket as it was offered, turning again to move the bread into it. He followed obediently after Jamie, setting it on the table and blushing as Jamie pulled out a chair. "Thank you," he murmured softly, blushing and taking a seat.

He got a bit of water, waiting until Jamie was sitting with him to respond. "That sounds really nice," he spoke honestly, holding the water with both hands. "I'm still... Missing a lot, but I do remember bits and pieces. I know it was just my uncle and me for a long time. He's a photographer for a muggle travel magazine, so we've been all over. It wasn't until my sister moved in... Erm... When we were teenagers, that we really settled down. My uncle bought a place in Brightstone." Onyx sipped his water. "Do you have any family?" He asked, watching Jamie with curious sapphire eyes.
 
”Well, today Onyx we’re having some French cooking,” he thought it was funny that in that list the french food didn’t make it in there. Perhaps it was just less easy to access. But, it didn’t matter, with the quiche warming in the oven he went to the table and sat down. He poured himself some butterbeer and began to spoon some of the salad on to Onyx’s plate. He then did the same for his own and grabbed the vinaigrette, pouring it over the salad. He held it out for Onyx as the man began speaking about his upbringing. Jamie could not imagine what it would be like to lose part or all of your memories. He thought reentering the world after it would be impossibly hard. ”Nice, do you like brightstone? It’s a bit of a pity you never got to finish school and graduate properly, are you doing independent NEWTS?” Jamie asked before nodded a the question. ”I do, both my parents are alive. I have two younger sisters one of them works for social services here in france, Penny, and the other one graduates for Beauxbatons this year, Agnes,” he said with a smiile, ”I’m not as close with my sisters as I’d like, but we have a good relationship. We are a bit scattered, the middle sibling, Penny, she lives in Paris and I know that my youngest upon graduating wants to spend time in Réunion, she’s an interest in geography,” he told him. He took his fork and began eating the salad. ”Is it just you and your sister with your uncle then?”
 
Onyx couldn't help but smile shyly at Jamie. He blushed as Jamie served him salad, thanking him softly and taking the vinaigrette when it was offered. Onyx poured it over his salad like Jamie had, glancing up at the other man. "I suppose, eventually. My uncle hired a tutor so I spend a lot of my time going over schooling."

He took a bite of his salad, listening as Jamie talked about his family. The salad was surprisingly good. He sipped his water, glancing at the vinaigrette a moment so he could ask his uncle to buy some later. "Um, no," he set the bottle down before tapping his fingers with each name, more like a rehearsed story than anything. "My grandmother Ruby owns and runs a muggle shipping company, and her brother Chalcedony is kinda... Kooky, he lives alone and spends all his time tending to his gardens. Grandmother had four children. The eldest is my uncle Jayce, he married Auntie Emily and they have three kids. Ember is a musician, and Amethyst and Jasper are still at school."

Onyx flicked his lip ring. "Then there were the twins, Uncle James and my dad, Jackson. He married Sarah and had my twin sister and I, though they died when we were about a year old. I went to uncle James and Sapph went to Aunt Myra," Onyx flinched. "We dont talk about Aunt Myra," he murmured, running a hand automatically over his scar.

He shook his head, glancing up at Jamie. "You, ah, you said you played quidditch?" He asked, wanting to know more about the man he was with but unsure how to ask.
 
Jamie gave a little shrug, ”Yeah, but there’s like stuff with school that are fun. What sort of things does Hogwarts do as celebrations?” He had only spent a year at Hogwarts and he couldn’t remember any of it really. Beauxbatons was much more his speed. ”At beauxbatons there was a christmas dance and a few other celebrations. It broke up the studying and was fun,” He hoped that he might press that it wasn’t maybe important to have fun, but they were still good and nice. He shrugged a little, ”School is more than what we learn,” Jamie was just eating the the salad he listened to Onyx talk about his family. It was just very….rehearsed. It was quite interesting, he seemed to have quite a big and interesting family. He wasn’t sure if it was good interesting or bad interesting but it was a lot. ”Sure,” he said to the last part, if he wouldn’t want to take about his aunt myra. He would remember that. He took another bite of his salad and smiled nodding slightly.
”Yeah, quidditch,” he said, he finished the bite of his family. ”I play as a chaser for the French team. Have for a few years, I graduated a couple of years back,” Jamie took another bite of the salad and then continued on. He wasn’t sure how much Onyx would want to hear about quidditch, given his reaction to the picture but he took pauses to allow the man to stop him. ”I wasn’t particularly studious at school, but I played quidditch and I was pretty good. I thought about just joining a local team, but I got offered a chance to join the national team,” Jamie explained. ”I could do both, but it would be way too much work, I like having time and being able to just relax,” he told him with a smile. ”What are you thinking of doing with yourself?”
 
Onyx ate his salad quietly, considering Jamie's question. "I... Don't remember exactly? But there are... Two dances, I think. One you get really dressed up for, and the other is more informal. There's a halloween feast, I remember dressing up with my sister." He cringed. "And I vaguely remember trying to sing for a guy and it didn't really go well," he admitted shyly. "And... Roses? I think there's a thing where you can send roses to each other and there are different colors and stuff." He pushed his salad around on his plate a little. "I liked the dances," he murmured softly.

Onyx hesitated as Jamie said he'd graduated a few years ago. "How old are you?" He asked, worried suddenly Jamie would just think he was a kid. "I, ah, I'm nineteen. My birthday was in December." He listened as Jamie talked about being Chaser. That was the one that tossed the ball through the hoops, wasn't it? He didn't ask for confirmation, not wanting to seem silly to the other man.

He was about to ask more about Jamie's work when the question instead was directed back at him. Hid eyes widened a little and he blushed, looking down at his food. "N-nothing so impressive as being a sports star," he joked lightly. He swallowed nervously. "I-I, um... I'm into music," he admitted shyly. "I... Used to play a few instruments, b-but um... It hasn't really come back yet and... And I've been nervous to start lessons for it again." He shrugged, drinking his water.
 
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Jamie hadn’t really realised the extent to which the memories of Onyx’s life were gone. He had of course only just found out both about it and the man, but it was tricky in his mind, where he wanted to get to know him but where it was clear there were large gaps in the memory. He felt a little bad for pushing about what the school had when it was clear he didn’t remember much. He thought it was rather sweet that he had sung for a guy, perhaps not something he would’ve ever done but Jamie wasn’t a singer, so to him it just made sense that he wouldn’t do such a thing. He thought it was cute that there was an events for flowers. ”That flower thing is cute, is it like a spring thing or a valentines thing?” Depending on when it was did then depend on if he had the time to maybe get a little rose for him. ”What did the colours mean?” he knew he was pushing a bit, and hoped that this didn’t trigger anything but he was curious about it, about the event.
”I’m turning 21 in May,” he told him, he felt a little old comparatively with Onyx, he had perhaps noted the youthful face but it hadn’t occurred to him that he’d be younger, they’d met in a bar. That clouded his view, but it made everything that had happened to him all the worse. Just in his mind imagining how terrible it would be to lost of you are just on the cusp of being able to figure it out. He shrugged at the statement, ”I throw a ball into some hoops and narrowly miss being hit with bludgers,” he told him, it wasn’t much. But he thought it was pretty cool that Onyx was musical. ”What did you play?” he asked. He could understand being nervous to play again, to relearned it in a way. ”I’m sure once you get started on it, it’ll come back. But I say this as someone who has never once picked up an instrument.” he finished his salad and gave a smile. He took his glass of butterbeer and gave him a little smile. ”I can tell you about the time I almost quit quidditch? It’s not a similar situation but it made me nervous to get back into it…”
 
Onyx ate his salad, thinking about Jamie's question of the roses. "Well... I... remember it's just before the dance, so it's a valentine's day thing I think." He looked down at his food. "I was never really popular, I remember I got one or two? I think, I don't really remember the roses but I remember a few people delivering them. I think the captain I had a thing with was my roommate? And he delivered one once by laying on my bed," He smiled a little. "I only really remember getting a red one once, and... it's kinda embarrassing, heh," He sipped his water, blushing and rubbing the back of his neck once he set it down. "I ah, didn't really get how bad it was at the time, but uh, my ex had sent me a red rose with a note that read 'ILY'."

Onyx chuckled nervously. "I mean, now I can see how thoughtless he was, but back then I just... well, I'm a sucker I guess, it still got me," He admitted with a shy smile. "I ah, might be wrong, but there were... three colors," He flicked his lip ring, thinking it over a moment, "Yellow is for your friends, pink is for people you admire or have a crush on, and red is love," He nodded. "Yeah, that sounds right," He murmured half to himself. He shook his head, coming back to the moment and chuckling. "I mean, hey, bright side of the whole 'pulled out of school' mess, at least it makes it easier to think there's a valid reason for not getting any roses. I was always more of the add on twin, so since things went sour with my ex I doubt I'd have gotten any roses anyway," He tried to joke lightly.

Onyx bit his lip, looking down at his salad again as Jamie said he was 21 soon. That was two years apart. It wasn't really that big of a difference, technically. He knew Colin was a lot older than his uncle, but still... Onyx didn't really see much hope for Jamie liking him and everything seemed to stack against him. He shook off the thought. "In May? That's not too far away," He rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe, um, maybe I could get you something," He offered shyly. He was maybe just looking for an excuse to see Jamie again after today. "Is there anything you'd like?" He asked.

Onyx bit his lip at the mention of bludgers. That sounded painful. And dangerous. "If you're a professional player, I'm sure you're good at it," He ate the last bite of his salad. "Maybe, ah, maybe I could go to one of your games," He mused softly. That wasn't technically seeing Jamie. But it was still something, he supposed. When Jamie asked about instruments, Onyx shrugged. "Well judging by the drum kit and the guitar and in my room, I'm going to say both. I sing a bit, but I prefer the drums." He might not be able to play, but he was sure of that.

Onyx's eyes widened a bit when Jamie offered to tell him a story. "What?" He was immediately intrigued. Unthinkingly, he leaned forward. "Of course I do, I mean, if you want to tell me. I'd love to hear about you- I mean, about that, heh," He chuckled nervously, biting his lip and glancing up at Jamie from under his lashes.
 
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Jamie listened to Onyx talk about the flowers of the rose giving. It wasn’t really something he had thought would be a thing but it seemed pretty sweet. He did think it wouldn’t matter about popularity because it wasn’t about getting the most roses. Any decent friend would send friends roses that was just obvious to him, that would need to be how it was done. But perhaps that didn’t help in other occasions. ”Was he your ex at the point when I sent it?” he thought it would be rather cruel to send a red rose with that sort of message to someone who was an ex. From what he could gather about Onyx he hadn’t had much luck yet in relationships and though Jamie was interested in him, he did think perhaps he should hold back a little, there were clear problems that onyx had and he didn’t want to impose a new possible thing on him if he wasn’t ready for it. Jamie nodded along as he told them about what each of them meant, the rose colours. He thought it was pretty cool. He’d have sent Onyx one of all three. But made it clear that his intentions and feelings are this point could definitely not be described as love. Perhaps if this went well he could send him a rose or three. They weren’t quite in season yet but that didn’t altogether matter. ”Well if it helps I would’ve sent you a rose and even more so, if it makes you feel better just by proxy of never having a rose giving I’ve never received a rose,”
Jamie nodded, ”Yeah, I think the team are organising something,” he said, ”It’ll be in Paris at some club where quidditch players get reduced rates,” he wasn’t not looking forward to it but it was likely to be quite a typical night out just with the added edge of it being his birthday. He wasn’t sure where this thing with Onyx might go over the next few months, but he might want to turn up. ”If you’re about I’ll send over details of when and where and you can come? I’ll make sure you’re in the guest list.” and he would. The last thing he’d want on his birthday was perhaps the only person he had specifically invited to get unjustly rejected at the door. He shook his head though, ”Not really, so you know, surprise me,” he wouldn’t say no to a present so often finding that people didn’t listen to that so better to just let them have a little choice in the matter. He could enjoy anything fun. He motioned to Onyx’s plate, asking if he was done as the man listed the instruments that he played. ”Wow so you’re multi-talented that’s very cool, even if you don’t remember it.” he complimented. He took away their empty plates and returned with the quiche, he served them both and then nodded. ”Yeah, when I first started playing for France I was pretty nervous. Like a month into me joining at a training session, I get hit hard with a bludger, like on my side, the pain was immense and so I blacked out and fell from the broom.” he said there was a jovial tone in his voice he clearly didn’t mind talking about this.
”I somewhat remember falling, someone stopped me before I hit the ground but, I got scared, like I’d played for Beauxbatons and that was easy, safe, I thought about how dangerous it could be, how that could happen in game. It took me like two months before I got back on a broom, and another before I could really fly. The team didn’t push it, like we’ve all been there. But you have to try again and if it doesn’t work that’s okay, life will give you something else to do.” he finished with a shrug.
 
Onyx shook his head. "No. We were still together. He was playing around with other people at that point, though, so it wouldn't surprise me if he sent more roses that were more... heartfelt than the one I got," He shrugged, taking a sip of his water. He blushed deeply when Jamie said he would have sent Onyx a rose, glancing down and hating the he automatically hoped it was a pink one. No, Onyx, Merlin, he's just a nice guy, shut up. "Well," He spoke anyway, nervously flicking his tongue ring out of habit. "For what it's worth, I'm pretty sure if you had gone to my school you'd have had so many roses you would probably missed the one I sent you," He offered shyly. The pink one, with or without a note, he added silently, biting his lip. He had no idea why he was so drawn to Jamie, but Merlin, he was so tempted.

His eyes widened a little as Jamie invited him to come to the party, glancing away for a moment and trying to keep himself from looking too excited at the thought he could see Jamie again. "I don't have any plans," He offered instead, giving Jamie a shy smile. "If I'm not intruding or anything, I- um, I would like that," He managed tentatively, biting his lip. "I would really like that," He said a little softer without thinking, before clearing his throat and taking another drink of his water.

He blushed deeply, rubbing his neck and stammering out a thank you as Jamie moved away for the rest of their food. Onyx took a second to fan himself, trying to cool his heated cheeks and still the furious fluttering of his heart. He had managed to gain a little bit of control when Jamie came back, thanking him softly and listening intently as Jamie spoke about his quidditch accident. Onyx's eyes widened, his heart twisting a little at the thought of Jamie falling off a broom. He moved a hand over his mouth, and when Jamie had finished speaking he unthinkingly reached over the table to place a hand over Jamie's. "I'm so glad you're okay," He spoke, concern clear in his voice, "My uncle said the game was risky but I didn't think- that's so scary," He bit his lip, squeezing Jamie's hand a little bit, sincerity mixing in with the concern in his voice. "Please be careful, I just found you, I really, really like you, please don't-"

It was in that moment that Onyx's head caught up with what he was doing. He gasped a little, pulling his hand back quickly and covering his mouth, letting his hair fall to cover his eyes as he stared at his food, trying not to panic as he realized what he'd done. "I-I'm sorry," He stuttered softly, unsure of how Jamie would react.
 
Jamie thought it was infinitely worse that that had happened to Onyx while he’d still been with the guy. He didn’t know why someone would be like that, unless it had been properly discussed and pre decided which this was very clearly a case where it had not. He laughed lightly. ”I went to Hogwarts, for a whole year before I transferred to Beauxbatons, and let me tell you, I was no where near as cute then as I am now,” He smiled, ”I was quite awkward, I wanted to just have fun but I’ve never been very good at going up to people,” he told him. He had grown in confidence over the years and quidditch had helped him feel more at ease but it hadn’t always been like that. People had often found his persistence to be annoying, they were quick to shove him away. ”I would treasure and remember every rose I’d have gotten, especially if they were from you,” he told him with a little wink. He shooked his head as Onyx asked if he would be intruding on his celebration, ”God no, I’d like you to come, it’ll just be the team and whatever people have decided to flock us that week,” he said. ”I’d much rather spend the time with you,” he liked his team, but he had never been one to socialise with them in those settings. It was always just...to much. He liked going to bars that had a chiller vibe. He liked going to cafes in the early hours and just sitting around with wine talking about life.
Jamie gave a little shrug to him, and moved his hand to take Onyx’s lightly in his, ”I’m careful, baby,” he told him with a little encouraging smile. He didn’t even mind how he had said it. Though Onyx did. Taking his hand back. He just shook his head. ”I really like you too Onyx. I don’t know why yet, but, I like you. I like your energy. I like you seeing you smile, my mother always says I’m like a dog, I follow things and annoy them until they love me, and I can sense when people are sad and make it my mission to make them feel better,” he laughed lightly, ”I wouldn’t have invited you in, if I didn’t like you to some degree,” he told him. He didn’t want to scare him. ”But you know let’s go slow, lets hang out a bit, let me ask you out properly once we’re at that stage.” he said. He just took another bite of the quiche and smiled into it. He just liked Onyx and didn’t want him to get scared off for any reason. ”What brought you to Marseille then? Does you uncle live here now, or was it work related?”
 
Onyx couldn't help but laugh a little. "I can kinda understand that. I think. From what I can remember, growing up I spent a lot of time alone. My uncle always jumped around a lot and while seeing the world was amazing, I was never really able to connect with anyone." He took a bite of his quiche, surprised by how good it was. "I do remember I only joined school to be with my sister." He drank the last of his water.

"And I remember I tried really hard to impress her for a while, and how hard it was trying to get through her defenses so she would trust me." He chuckled lightly. "I remember I got mad and said something stupid so she slapped me." He shrugged. "I spent so long trying to get to her I was pretty much always the add on twin and no one ever really saw me..." He winced, remembering how he thought Chrys had seen him. But he wondered if Chrys had ever really seen Onyx, or if he had just been someone to snog with.

Onyx blushed as Jamie winked at him, glancing down and taking another bite of his quiche quickly to try and hide how he was flustered. Don't do it, Nyx. Behave. Stop it. He scolded himself. His blush deepened as Jamie spoke again, reassuring him about his birthday. "I, ah, I'll make sure to come along then," he smiled shyly. Why was Jamie being so nice to him?

What Jamie said next knocked Onyx off balance. He was silent a moment, wide eyed and motionless. "W-what?" He stuttered softly, his heart kicking into overdrive. Jamie wanted to ask him out? He liked Onyx? But there was something else that he said that stuck to Onyx, and not necessarily in a good way. Jamie pulled him back though with another question.

Onyx jumped on it, quick to respond and distract his thoughts. "O-oh, um. We live near brightstone. My uncle is a photographer for a muggle travel magazine, he's usually all over the world, this is the first job hes really taken since- since I was hurt. I didn't want to stay home alone so he let me tag along," he chattered. "Its why we have such varied dinners, hes a great cook, he just picks up a recipe or two anywhere he goes and makes it at home." Onyx hesitated a moment, looking down at his half eaten food.

"M-my um, my family calls me a kitten," he offered shyly, "I think its because I'm really soft and cuddly and I can purr, its a- a weird little trick but I like it," he laughed nervously. "Sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it until someone says something," he bit his lip, almost moving his hand to Jamies again, but a flash of insecurity hit him and he looked away again.

"W-what... What happens if... If I eventually do manage to not be sad anymore?" He asked quietly, not daring to look at Jamie. "If- if you're just drawn to sad people-" he bit his lip a little harder. "Am... I just a project? And you'll move past it and forget about me if you find someone better?" He asked nervously, trying to swallow past the lump in his throat. "I... Couldn't blame you, I wouldn't be mad... Everyone always finds something better," he tried to steel himself for the inevitable rejection. This was too tempting, too good to be true for someone like him. There was a catch somewhere, he just knew it.
 
Jamie smiled with an interest expression as he talked about his family, connecting with his sister and trying his best to be trusted by her. ”I think it’s good that now you’re a bit apart from her. I assume you guys are close but it can be good to get some distance to be sure of who you are, to figure out who you are,” he was sure that Onyx wasn’t as much of an add on as he thought he was, that there would be people like Jamie who knew him and didn’t know the twin, though hr was sure that when the got to know each other better he could come to learn far more about the twin. About who she was in relation to him. But Onyx would be the twin that he knew. ”I don’t have a phone, but if you send me a note like the day off when you think you’ll get there I’ll find you at the door.” He didn’t think they would do anything before the club. So he wasn’t wanting to do more, it would be late before they went out. He was sure one of the guys would have people round first but who knew. It wasn’t him as the primary organiser.
Jamie couldn’t help the smile at Onyx’s reaction, it was quite cute. How shy he seemed. He just nodded along as Onyx went on to talk about his uncle and why they were in the area. That made sense, it must be quite a job but it made sense. He thought that kitten was a pretty apt way of describing Onyx though of course Jamie hadn’t yet heard him purr. He thought it would be fun to see how long it took before he purred. The question was pretty understandable. ”If you’re not sad anymore, it’ll just be my job to make sure each day is happier than the last,” he said, laughing almost at how sappy that sounded. ”Someone better? I don’t think it really works like that.” he said, ”I’m not the sort of person with a straying eye. If things don’t work out between us, somethings don’t work out. But I’m not going to just jump away. People are not squirrels to me,” he joked lightly.
 
Onyx shrugged a little at Jamie's comments about being away from Sapphire, eating his quiche. When Jamie moved on to when they were meeting at the club, he nodded. A note, he could do that. "Just let me know what time everyone's supposed to be there," He tried not to look too nervous. He turned back to his quiche, eating it in silence a moment as he tried to think of what to wear, if he should try to look cute, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart.

Onyx couldn't help the way his breath caught when Jamie turned sappy, swallowing nervously. His heart fluttered as Jamie laughed, and he ducked his head, rubbing his neck. He was quiet a moment as he tried to process Jamie's answer. "I... I don't know," He managed softly. He folded his arms on the table, keeping them close to him. "I... when I woke up, there was this... this girl. I could feel she was important. She... told me we were dating." He sighed. "I'm gay. She... she was my best friend. She told me I couldn't tell anyone, that it was too new and no one would believe she was good enough for me." His voice cracked.

He cleared his throat, shifting nervously in his seat. "She went back to school. It was... it was odd, I thought it was my fault that I didn't love her. I knew she was pretty, but... but I didn't want her. I thought something was wrong with me." He bit his lip. "I... I got drunk. On accident, I didn't mean to, and I- I ended up at this guys apartment. I spent the weekend there. I... I couldn't help it. I just craved the affection so much. I felt so guilty." He sighed shakily, refusing to look at Jamie. "The first school break came around, and I couldn't take it. I talked to her, tried to figure out what was going on. When she told me she had lied, I..." He bit his lip. "I was so upset. I couldn't help it. I had put all my trust in her and she... I couldn't believe she would betray me like that."

Onyx ran his hands through his hair. "I went over to Ben's place when I found out. I know he didn't... I was just a tryst, I wasn't anything to him, but I... my uncle says I care too much too soon, I can't help it, it's just who I am I guess, I just... wanted to be close to him, but... he said something, and... and it triggered some memories, and I-" He shrunk in his seat. "He was my ex's older brother. I didn't- he didn't- I had gone from being the captain's best kept secret to... to a toy. I spent all my time trying to make Chrys happy, buying him little gifts with meaning behind them, wanting him, and I... His own brother never knew we were a couple. For over a year, he..." Onyx sighed. "When we were together, it was just the two of us. But when we were apart... I don't think he even thought of me at all." He let out a shaky breath. "I couldn't handle it. It was too much. I was just... I felt so ashamed, so guilty. I just ran. I've been alone ever since."

Onyx shook his head. "You're... this whole thing just seems... too good to be true. Good things don't happen to me." He let out a strained laugh. "You're cute, and kind, and I- I want to think you're genuinely interested, but I..." He bit his lip, finally glancing up through his hair at Jamie with shimmering sapphire eyes. "I can't help but think you're just being nice and- and once I'm gone, you're going to forget about me and I'll never see you again." He admitted softly, looking away again.
 
Jamie nodded he didn’t know what time others would there, but he would be sure to tell Onyx when he did know. He was really keen to see the man again and his birthday which was coming up soon. Maybe he might try and see him again before then but having a sure thing with his birthday. He finished his good as Onyx explained what had happened when he woke up, and he felt so terribly sorry for him and angry for him too. The way people had treated him, it was just terrible. Someone pretending to be a friend and to be a partner. He thought it was all terrible but he didn’t think it was anything against Onyx to have then gone with someone else. ”Onyx, baby, that’s all awful. I’m so sorry that happened to you. She was horrible to you, you didn’t deserve that at all. Nor those men, your exes,” he told him. He reached out a hand to be able to go for his hand.
”Listen, that is all terrible, and I know it’ll probably take a while for you to believe it, but I am not like that and you deserved better," he said, ”I’ve been in one relationship before this. I’ve never been the sort to sleep with people randomly,” he thought that if Onyx was being honest about things that happened to him then so could Jamie, but there was less to tell. ”I’m very much a relationship and commitment sort of guy. The last relationship fell apart because we grew apart, I tried really hard to get her back, and I fought really hard, but she didn’t. Which happens. But it was deeply upsetting. You are the first person whose caught my interest since then,” he said. ”I know you have no reason to believe it, but I’m committed to whatever this could be if you want it to be. We can take it slowly, at your pace. But really, I definitely couldn’t forget you baby. If you give me a chance I’ll show it to you,” he gave smile at him, he knew it was forward and that Onyx could turn him down, and he would respect that. But he would go his best to try.
 

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