Twisting The Kaleidoscope Behind Both Of My Eyes

[Saveli Pendleton]

Saveli's eyes barely opened to the sounds of other children stirring. On either side of her bed were four others, making nine in total in the small crowded room. The blonde didn't want to stand, but she could hear the orphanage's mistress addressing her, telling her it was time for her to stir and ready herself for breakfast. Reaching up with small hands the blonde rubbed her eyes, wishing that when she pulled her hands away that she was somewhere else - anywhere else than this hellhole. However, upon sitting up and allowing her blue eyes to adress to all the unnatural lighting that filled the room she realized she was stuck at this place, stuck going to another school. Monty's words had been long thrust to the back of her mind, as she was sure he had only said those things to try and make her feel better. Saveli sighed and swung her legs over her bed and allowed the bare skin of her feet to touch the cold wooden floor. It sent a wave of goosebumps up her body that prickled her arms and the young students mind immediately wanted to flee back under her covers until the room warmed a bit.

However, if she wasn't dressed in ten or so minutes and down the stairs for their first meal of the day, she knew that she'd be in trouble - and probably get a switching from the b!tch who ran the place. Another exasperated sigh escaped Saveli's lips and she searched through her cluttered trunk for things to wear. She dressed herself in plain robes and made her way down the stairs, shoes close enough to the door for her to simply slip them on. She was sure she'd have some chores to take care of outside of the building after all. They were told it built character to have chores. The blonde took a seat at the table next to two other you children who were rejects - unwanted as she was. The woman found her feet tapping slightly as the breakfast was served. Two pieces of white toast, some grits, some fruit. She found her appetite gone the moment that she smelled the food, and picked and pushed it around until she was dismissed - along with the rest of her table to look at the chore list. What a way to start a day as an unwanted child, she thought.

 

[Monty Pendleton]

The further Monty proceeded up the mottled grey path towards the orphanage, the more likely it seemed to become that he might vomit. He'd spent the last fifteen minutes lingering by the wrought iron gate, his hand making gradual advances towards the latch, until the December chill had necessitated that he move lest his fingers turn numb. The house was old and bleak, and, whilst not quite yet in a state of dilapidation, looked as if one particularly powerful gust of wind could have taken its roof clean off. Its appearance alone certainly didn't suggest that it accommodated over a dozen children. Perhaps, Monty hoped quietly as he paused a little longer by the splintered front door, the inside would redeem itself.

"Come on," he whispered quietly to himself, clenching both hands into cold fists and releasing them again. To passers by, he would almost have appeared to be sizing the building up for a fight. But there weren't any passers by. In fact, had it not been for the wail of a small child drifting through the circular attic window above, Monty might have wondered if the entire street wasn't deserted. The eeriness of it all only intensified his desire to apparate away, and it was only with a great deal of courage that he instead lifted a hand to knock firmly on the door. There was a yell from somewhere within, followed by the sound of foosteps descending a hollow staircase, and then the door was opened by a thin, wiry looking woman, who Monty might have estimated to be in her forties, had he been so ungentlemanly as to guess a lady's age. "Mr Pendleton?" she said, her bony figure obscuring most of Monty's view into the hallway. He confirmed that it was indeed him, and after eyeing him sharply for a moment, she introduced herself as Miss Byrne and stepped aside from the door.

As he had anticipated, the inside was only a marginal improvement on the out, and even that was to Monty's incredibly generous eye. It was a few degrees warmer, but this subtle elevation in temperature was almost completely quelled by the coldness of Miss Byrne's disposition. He followed her into her office, whenceforth began a lengthy discussion and a great deal of paperwork. The whole matter was dealt with in such a way that Monty got the feeling Miss Byrne found running an orphanage to be a terrible chore, and that her primary reason for allowing him to foster a child was to relieve the burden from her own hands. By the time their conversation was through, Monty was so unsettled by this that he knew his decision could not be a mistake, and consequently he could no longer bring himself to be nervous. It was then it was decided that Saveli should be fetched, and Miss Byrne left Monty by himself to retrieve her.

Suddenly anxious again, Monty stood up, his fight or flight response deciding that he was better off able to flee from its perceived danger if necessary. His heart thumped heavily in his chest. His mouth suddenly dried. The mountain of parenting books he'd read over the last six months had not prepared him for this. Then the door reopened.

 

[Saveli Pendleton]

"Goldilocks move your fat arse!" A child hollered at Saveli as they pushed through her. The blonde was more than upset and for a moment thought of reaching for her wand and hexing them. However the look of the woman overseeing this section of chores told her that she'd better not. At least not if she didn't want to be switched. The teen sighed and carried her relatively heavy pucket of cleaner to the windows and was nearing completion of the first part of the pane that needed washing when she was called by the headmistress to follow her. All the young witch could wodner was what had she done this time? She'd not bullied anyone or harmed anyone she was sure - not that she hadn't thought of it.

With her eyes pointed to the ground, unable to look up without feeling afraid or ashamed - as the head madame made her feel she needed to be, Saveli followed. It wasn't until they'd rounded the corner to the room where guests were held that she realized this was not her being in trouble - she had a visitor. Had Gabriel come to see her for the Holidays? Or was her mother dropping off the last of her belognings for good? It was hard to tell but for a moment Saveli dared to make eye contact with Miss Byrne. The frail old hag shoved her through the doorway and SAveli stood looking back angrily for a moment, before she even acknowledged the guest in the room with them. It was a slow realization, but Saveli's grey-blue orbs eventually widened. "Bloody Hell dumbo you showed." She spoke in amazement, forgetting her filter until a swift smack to the back of her head brought her to reality. "Professor Pendleton?" She asked, this time with more respect, not loooking directly at him for fear she would cry.

 

[Monty Pendleton]

Monty was glad when Saveli averted her gaze, for if she had not, she might have caught the briefly pained expression on his face. He'd fought more battles to make it this far than he could count on both hands, only to be insulted by the very person he'd fought them for. But whilst he did not appreciate the way Saveli addressed him, Monty had to bite his tongue with some force to keep himself from criticizing Miss Byrne's method of punishment. He gave the woman a stern look, and, taking that as an invitation to leave them to it, she left the office and closed the door behind her.

With the orphanage owner absent, Monty's posture softened considerably. "Hello. Of course I came," he said. "You didn't think I went to all this trouble for nothing, did you?" The saddening part was, Saveli probably had thought that, and Monty couldn't even blame her. When everyone else in her life had let her down, she really had no reason to believe her Potions Professor would behave otherwise. She couldn't possibly have known that Monty was always a man of his word. After a pause, he sat back down on the edge of his hard wooden chair. He wanted to ask how life was at the orphanage, and whether or not she'd made any friends, but it all seemed superfluous; besides, it was clear in her tone alone that she was having a terrible time. So instead, he said gently: "Saveli, if you'd like me to foster you, I will. I'm sorry that all of this has happened to you - really, I am. But I've been burning the candle at both ends to see that you weren't left without a home, and so I'd appreciate it if you were to quit with the silly name calling. Do you understand?"

 

[Saveli Pendleton]

As the spindly woman left Saveli and Monty in a room alone the blonde made a face and cursed about her in Gaelic under her breath. It was going to be easier to do so unless she wanted Professor Pendleton upset about her language. With arms crossed over her chest Saveli looked up at him, and then around the guest room. She'd not been in that room before, and it was much warmer and brighter than the rest of the orphanage. "To be honest I thought you were acting the maggot." It was obvious that since coming back to the orphanage in her native country of Ireland that her accent was stronger, as well as her use of the slang.

Saveli, upon being reprimanded as if Monty was already her father, felt her cheeks heat up to a bright pink color. The woman bit back a laugh though, as it was odd to hear the older gentleman so stern. She threw her hands up in mock defense and laughed. "I'm sorry." She spoke, her apology much mroe earnest than it sounded. For a moment the room fell silent and Saveli concentrated on her shoes. She then looked at the man whom wasn't much taller that her. "So... Am I actually going to get a home today or do i have to stay in this hell hole for longer?" Always straight to the point Saveli didn't mind being blunt, and found many people appreciated her honesty.

 

[Monty Pendleton]

Monty looked down at the floor, feeling disappointed more than anything else. After all he had done for Saveli, she seemed still not to have the faintest idea what an enormous undertaking fostering was for him, nor the courage it required a single, anxiety prone man in his forties to do. He'd lost countless nights of sleep worrying not only for himself, but for the Slytherin's happiness, and all she could do in return was insult him and laugh. His disappointment arose from the fact he knew her to be a kind, generous girl, with potential to be and do incredible things; and whilst all she knew of Monty was what time they had spent together at Hogwarts, he'd hoped she might by now have come to realise that she needed not put on a façade around him. He could not - would not - begin a relationship as her father built upon this masquerade.

"No," he said simply, but without the slight irritation he felt. "Not today. And probably not tomorrow, either. This is serious, Saveli." The Inventor sighed, rubbing his face with his hands and composing his next words extremely carefully. When he pulled his palms away, he lowered them to his lap and looked at the teenager. "I understand that you must have difficulty placing your trust in anybody. Heaven knows I do, too. I'm not nearly as confident as I make out to be." He paused quietly. "See... I didn't just change my name at fourteen. I ran away from home. My living conditions were... so appalling that I wasn't left with any choice. I was very scared, Saveli. Very scared, and very alone. Now, I can't claim to understand exactly how you're feeling at the moment. You and I are two very different people. But I do know that... that this tone you use on me is a way to keep yourself from getting hurt. And at school, that's fine. But if I'm going to foster you, then I want to foster Saveli. The Saveli that showed me how she was really feeling. The Saveli that made me that tea cup." After a second, Monty stood up, fearing that he might cry if he didn't change the subject swiftly. "Otherwise..." he continued sadly, "this isn't going to work." The Potions Professor took a step forward and placed his hands on Saveli's shoulders. "Nobody's supposed to be invincible. Not even you." With that, Monty turned and made for the door, lingering by the handle. "I'll come and see you again tomorrow. Maybe 'The Devil' will even let us walk into the village," he said, raising his eyebrows doubtfully and half suppressing a grin. "Yes?"

 

[Saveli Pendleton]

Saveli's pose remained unyielding, her position defensive of herself. She gripped the undersides of her elbows, holding her arms as close as they could get. The girl's steeled eyes didn't soften in the silence they held, even though her lip quivered for a moment. Then Monty's answer came and most of the resolve that Saveli felt was gone and she looked up with eyes that nearly screamed of desperation to leave. It may not have seemed as such, and perhaps she couldn't fathom all of it, but she knew a lot of work went into becoming a foster parent. There were a lot of interviews and paperwork... False niceties as she saw from the orphanage owner when she'd first arrived.

Saveli's eyes shifted in color it seemed, a summertime sad blue encroaching. She listened to what Monty had to say closely, tears filling her eyes slowly, though she refused to let them spill over. As a hand was placed on her shoulder it took all the strength that she had not to pull away as she had for so long. Pulling and pushing away seemed to be what the woman knew. Her father had taught her all her life that other people were stepping stools, and once abandoned she felt she'd become someone else's ladder to the top. Whether it Monty's to say he was a successful teacher and parent, Gabriel's to say he was successfully able to be friends with someone as coarse as her, or Nicci's for conquering her lips at the ball and seeing a sweeter side of the hidden away Slytherin.

She didn't bother to react to anything else as Monty left, and took in a shaking breath. Turning to face him, blinking rapidly to repress the emotions that threatened to spill in the form of tears. "I'd... I'd like that, I've not left the building since I was dropped off." With that Saveli gave her best smile, a genuine one. "I'll see you tomorrow Monty."

 

[Monty Pendleton]

Monty nodded once, and then was gone. His visit had been brief, but he'd nonetheless given Saveli plenty to reflect upon that evening. He did not, of course, expect his words to have any immediate impact, and thus had been pleasantly surprised at the genuineness with which she had bode him farewell. It was not, of course, in Monty's intentions to force the girl out from beneath her shell, nor was it his desire to change her in any way. He wanted only for Saveli to know he was not her enemy; that her emotions were nothing to be feared; and that he would not judge her for feeling as any child would in her most unpleasant circumstances.

As he had promised, Monty rose early the next morning and returned to the orphanage, his hope and anxiety renewed in equal strengths. It was even colder than it had been the previous day, and the Potions Professor found himself idly missing New Zealand's warm Christmas. The few lights that had been strung up down the street blinked tiredly, as if they knew that no amount of neon red and green could possibly liven up the dreary road, and were about to give up trying. Monty shivered as he passed them, unable to be deterred from the warmth inside the orphanage by even Miss Byrne, who greeted him at the doorstep with a superior sniff. He gingerly followed her inside, picking his way through a sea of rather hazardously strewn pencils, and sat down in her office. After much negotiating, Monty was permitted to take Saveli into the nearby village for an hour or two, and the orphanage owner left to fetch her.

 

[Saveli Pendleton]

Had Saveli honestly expected Monty to show up and take her to town, no. Not after her behavior yesterday. She assumed he'd realized she was a horrible person and got out of there with great speed, regretting even trying to become her new caretaker. However that morning when she awoke she was told to dress appropriately for the weather as she was going to the muggle village that was just a little ways away. The girl arose and slipped on her denim and her sweater, dressing in muggle clothing that she'd become familiar with wearing while out in public. The blonde then brushed her hair, her teeth and rolled a lint roller over her clothing. She didn't need to impress Monty she knew, but if she were going to be out in public she didn't want to appear as a hoodlum.

Her feet carried her once more to the office, and she gave the door a few taps - her signature knock - before entering. On her face was a smile as genuine as the one she'd given before, but the distance she kept from Monty both was physical and emotional. Her grey eyes looked around the room once and then she sighed. "So we're going to town?" She asked, more trying to confirm that he wasn't just coming to tell her he'd changed his mind.

 

[Monty Pendleton]

When the door reopened, Monty was studying the underside of a small, rather fascinating antique clock. At Saveli's abrupt arrival, he dropped the thing back on Miss Byrne's desk like it was red hot and flushed uncomfortably. "Good morning," he said, although Saveli did not look as if she were having one of these herself. "Yes, yes, of course," he assured her, advancing a step forward and smoothing down his jacket unnecessarily. He gestured at the open door behind her, allowing her to leave the small office first and then following her closely behind. Miss Byrne didn't seem to be anywhere around, so he suggested that they simply make a break for it and hope for the best.

Five minutes later, the hopeful father-daughter duo to be were making their way down the chilly street. When they reached the top of the incline over which the Muggle village lay they found that very few shops were open, owing presumably to a lack of business around such bleak parts. Still, Monty, who tended to focus on the positive sides of a situation where he could, supposed that it at least meant their walk would be peaceful and predominantly undisturbed. After a little while, Monty sighed. "Sorry," he said uselessly, watching the path disappear beneath his feet. "I wish... I wish I had something pertinent to the situation to say." Suddenly, the Inventor stopped, turning towards Saveli. "You do want me to foster you, don't you? I quite understand why you wouldn't. I don't imagine I'd have wanted to live with any of my professors."

 

[Saveli Pendleton]

Saveli was more than willing to make a break from the orphanage to walk along the chilly streets. Anything was better than being trapped inside of the overly large house that could never be a home to anyone. Saveli turned back toward a window and watched as of few of the older children, both particularly mean, watched her walk out with someone - before being ushered back to their chores by a woman with a long ruler. Saveli shuddered at the idea that it might have been her in the same position if Monty didn't want her. Watching the younger children leave. She was fourteen after all, who wanted a fourteen year old for a child? She was already past many of her cute yeas, and was now moody.

Her chilled tendrils found home in the pockets of her fleece jacket and she balled her hands into fists to conserve the warmth in them. The blonde had left her hair down, hoping that it would keep her ears warm and while she was partially correct there was also the chance that a small breeze would freeze her ears off and she'd become deaf instantly. Though what else could go wrong if that happened? As they approached the town silently Monty seemed to be disappointed that it wasn't more lively, but it was an area that many people didn't care for - it was cold and sad. Much like Saveli most days. The ex-Slytherin glanced over to Monty, and listened to his question, finding it was as simple as answering with a yes or a no. Kicking loose cobblestone beneath her feet she thought and then finally procured the best answer she could find from deep within her. "It's not that I don't want you to foster me. It's not that I feel awkward that you're my professor it's that..." She took a pause and glanced around the stores for a moment. "It's that you'll eventually decide to return me and I know it." It was obvious she had little to no confidence in her ability to be a good daughter, or in anyone's ability to tolerate her for any extended time. "I mean you know that i can yell and cry, and you know that I'm capable of being honest, but I don't chose to be honest a lot. It's easier to lie to everyone." She became brutally honest for a moment with him, looking up at him. "I'm not a good person, just like my father before me and his father before him." She spoke, and it was obvious she truly believed that to be fact.
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[Monty Pendleton]

Monty dropped his head, feeling as if he should have known the girl would worry about such a thing. Sometimes he thought so hard that he completely overlooked the blatantly obvious answer, and this one had been staring him in the face all along. He wouldn't, he was quite sure of it, take Saveli back to the orphanage without first being placed in a dire circumstance that absolutely required him to do so. It was this adamant belief he possessed that children were not objects to be thrown around between families that made the whole ordeal of fostering so frightening for him. Once he had taken Saveli into his home, then for as long as she wished it, he would do everything within his power to keep her there. He could not have simply relinquished a child of his own for misbehaviour, or because he was feeling a little stressed, and thus he had no intention to do this with Saveli.

But this was difficult to explain, and even Monty, whose words often came fluidly at just the right times, could not think how to begin. This hesitation allowed the Slytherin to continue on, until she expressed her understanding that she was as bad as her father, and Monty looked up. "No," he said, gently but firmly. He didn't have to know her father to feel strongly about the subject. "The notion that we must develop the unfortunate qualities of our parents is ridiculous. Besides which, nobody is all good or all bad." The Potions Professor sighed then, continuing their slow walk past the mostly closed shops. "Can I tell you something?" he asked after a few paces, waiting for a response before continuing. "I haven't slept in three days. Three days!" Monty grinned. "I'm serious about this. That's why I asked that you didn't insult me. I can't... guarantee anything. But I'm not looking to foster you for a month or two, Saveli. You'll have to do a lot worse than call me 'dumbo' to change my mind about that."

As Monty finished, they turned the corner onto a small road off the high street, on which a small stationary shop proudly displayed an array of leather notebooks. It almost looked as if it should have belonged in Brightstone Village. Suddenly, the Inventor had an idea. "Let's go in here," he said, gesturing his hand to the black door for Saveli to enter first.

 

[Saveli Pendleton]

Saveli gave an odd look to the Professor beside her. She'd never have imagined him having the ability to sound like a father would. The look on her face was most likely odd, but she didn't mind that. It would convey how she felt with him speaking to her not only like a father, but like an adult would. Something Saveli very well appreciated and respected. The blonde listened to his philosophy about how she didn't have to turn out like her father - but she was already close enough she figured. She hated crying, and had been rude to people strictly to get ahead. The woman glanced at him upon saying that no one was strictly all good or bad. "Yeah, I mean my father is great to my two half brothers. They even get to still live with him." There was a jealous venom in her tone, and it surprised even her that she had so much hatred for her brothers. After all it wasn't their fault.

Saveli nodded at his next question and allowed him to speak. Saveli had been expecting another serious topic, but at the grin he released she quickly began laughing harder than she had in some time. "You're a right header sometimes, you know that Monty?" She asked. They were outside of school, she didn't need to call him professor right? She then became red in the face at the repeat of her insult. "In my defense I was just surprised that you actually showed up."

Distracting from the brief sadness her words might have brought, the woman headed into the store with him, understandably confused as to why he'd picked this one in particular.

 

[Monty Pendleton]

Upon being asked whether or not he knew he was a little bit mad (at least, he assumed that's what 'header' meant), Monty pretended to think hard for a moment, eventually resigning to the fact there was no other explanation for his eccentricity and nodding. He smiled to hear Saveli attempt to defend herself, but it was quite unnecessary, for Monty had long ago forgiven her. He followed Saveli into the small, dusty stationary shop, closing the door behind them with a soft ring of its bell. Her confusion only broadened his grin. "Hello," he said to the lady behind the desk, who seemed so startled by the appearance of customers that she didn't even stop to consider how unusually one of them was dressed. Monty then turned his attention to the rows of leather bound notebooks and diaries upon the shelves, picking up one of the latter and searching for a price. "Have you ever kept a diary before, Saveli?" he asked, squinting. His near vision wasn't what it used to be. He put the diary back down and smiled. "It's quite therapeutic to write one's feelings down on paper. You can choose one, if you'd like. Call it an early Christmas present."

 

[Saveli Pendleton]

Saveli walked still with hands shoved into the pockets of her pants. She didn't greet the person behind the desk, though she wondered if Monty's dressing was enough to disguise her from even being noticed. Saveli hadn't even thought if Monty owned any muggle clothing when he'd offered to bring her here, but she was sure he was muggle born - or had said something about having a muggle parent. As they continued to walk, her brain in thought, Saveli remained silent. That was until he asked her a question. "Me, no. I had older brothers. Anything embarrassing of mine they could get hands on they would." She said with a slight grimace. She shrugged a bit. "I'm not sure, other kids at the orphanage might try and read it. Besides I mean, you don't have to get me anything for Christmas, I'm pretty accustomed to just being glad to have food." She let a dry laugh past her lips at her depressing revelation that it'd been since she was twelve that she'd even received Christmas gifts.

 

[Monty Pendleton]

Monty chuckled. Having never had siblings of his own, he couldn't entirely sympathize; though he couldn't have imagined keeping a diary whilst he'd still lived with his Mother and Step-Father for the very same fear. Now that he was older, however, there were steps he could take to prevent anybody reading it, and he hadn't planned on leaving Saveli without the same protection. "That's all right," he said, picking up a thick leather diary bound with black string. He glanced over his shoulder toward the shopkeeper, ensuring she was not within earshot, and then turned back to Saveli. "I can charm it for you, if you'd like," he said quietly. "You'll be the only person who can open it." At Saveli's next confession, Monty stood up a little straighter, appalled that she had apparently not received a Christmas present for some time. "Well, that settles it, then!" he said, smiling kindly and carrying the diary over to the counter. He had just enough Muggle coins with him to pay. The shop assistant wrapped the diary in a paper bag, feeling very pleased that she had opened her shop that day, and wished the two of them a nice day. "Same to you," said Monty cheerfully, ushering Saveli out of the shop and back onto the grey street.

As they began to head back in the direction of the orphanage, Monty said: "So, I, er... I've come to a conclusion. I'd like to foster you. The earliest I'll be able to take you home is the twenty-seventh, but I'll come and see you again before then." The Potions Professor stopped in his tracks and faced Saveli, a nervous smile spreading across his cheeks. "What do you, uh... what do you think?"

 

[Saveli Pendleton]

Saveli was sure he'd get in trouble just for saying the word charms in a muggle area, but it seemed the woman had not noticed, and so Saveli didn't make a scene. Not until he'd started to buy the notebook. "Monty you don't... i mean I'm fine without... Oh bugger." She finished knowing it was no use to try and convince him otherwise. The man was stubborn much like her, she'd give him that. The blonde shoved her hands in her pocket again and mumbled a small thank you to her professor. Then out the pair went, into the grey streets of the little town and back to the orphanage. The walk was silent for a moment - only to be broken by the man beside Saveli speaking.

She didn't look at him as he spoke, afraid she'd cry or do something else that was as equally embarrassing. Instead she concentrated on a rock on the ground, that she kicked forward with every step. She was silent after being asked her opinon. She wasn't sure what to say. "Monty..." She started before, like the night he'd found her down bleak street, she hugged him quickly. As soon as it had started she'd released him. "Thank you." She said. They were now at the gates and Saveli looked back. She asked for the diary and hugged the brown bag close to her as it was handed over. "Have a merry Christmas Monty." She said, before turning and making a dash up the cobblestone to hide her new gift. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad living with the eccentric old man.

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