Tear myself apart

Elio Zephyr

It's all just creative chaos 📷 Photographer
 
Messages
1,464
OOC First Name
Pheeb
Blood Status
Half Blood
Relationship Status
In an Open Relationship
Sexual Orientation
Panromantic Homosexual
Wand
Straight 14 1/2 Inch Whippy Elm Wand with Fwooper Feather Core
Age
1/2035 (24)
Continued from here

After being talked into coming to the hospital wing before making another trip to his Head of House, Elio had more or less been walking to the wing in silence, gripping his arm tightly to try and stop the majority of the blood flow. He was still leaving a light trail of blood as he went, but he was taking a lot of his strength not to focus on the pain shooting through the cut on his right arm at the moment. Rowan seemed to insist on coming with him though, and maybe she just wanted to see Zennon. He was so confused that he didn't even know where to begin conversation with the Gryffindor. They had been best friends once and now they seemed strangers once again. "Why were you in the duelling chamber?" he asked her, more as small talk that didn't involve personal feelings than anything else. Elio was a friendly student but even he was struggling to know what to say in a situation like this. He wasn't sure whether she was part of the SDA, but perhaps she was practising for her lessons or something. As they reached the hospital wing, he nudged open the door and looked around for a nurse, hoping that someone could give him something for the pain soon, and that he wouldn't have to have any stitches. He really hated needles.
 
The walk to the hospital wing was like a silent march, the end of which was going to cause pain to everyone. She had one chance, once chance to talk to him before she chucked out, but she just, she couldn’t seem to figure out the right words to say and then just like that, they were in the hospital wing. She bit her lip and quickly directed him to sit on one of the beds, ignoring his question for a moment as she headed to the back room in search of Zennon, but he wasn’t around. She rolled her eyes, of course not. She quickly sent a note to him to come along and to bring a nurse with him so they could patch Elio up, since she didn’t have the magical know how to do it herself. She looked back over to him and sat in one of the chairs that were close by but not too close. “Was looking for Zennon, I heard the scream.” She told him, but the conversation was hard and she didn’t know what to say. “Why were you there?”
 
Elio wasn't sure why Rowan kept trying to push him around, but he followed quietly, taking a seat on one of the beds and waiting to see what would happen next. In his head he was still rolling through what he wanted to tell Professor Kinglsey, all about how Vegeta had attacked now both himself and Elsie. He nodded at her answer, of course she'd been looking for Zennon, who else? "I was practising." he said simply, not wanting to divulge too much information to someone who didn't even care to speak to him for as long as she hadn't. There were a few other people in the hospital wing and Elio knew that he just had to be patient, but he was clearly agitated and just wanted to get back to the common room. He looked to Rowan and noticed that she had braces now, and she certainly hadn't had those before. Why was it hard to be in such close proximity to the blonde now? Elio felt like he was invading her space and turned away, looking down to realise that his jumper had been well and truely sliced as well as his arm, noticing the blood properly for the first time that soaked through the edges of the cut. He was quite deep and he could feel his whole arm aching because of the stinging, "Where is everyone?" he asked, more annoyed that he'd intended.
 
Right, yeah that makes... that makes sense,” she said, feeling incredibly guilty. Guilty because she felt like all of this was somehow her fault. True, the fact that they weren’t friends anymore was her fault, but the stuff with Vegeta realistically couldn’t have been her fault and yet she felt guilty anyway. She felt like maybe if she’d been there for him, Vegeta wouldn’t have been able to get him alone. Had this been happening the whole time they were friends? Or was it simply because of Elsie. Dammit, she hoped that wasn’t the case. She self consciously picked at the sleeve of her robe, paying attention to the Capricorn tattoo she had gotten over the break before they’d returned to school. It was still a bit itchy, but she was sure that was all in her head since it was well and truly healed by now. “Someone should be here soon, I sent a note to Zennon to bring his nurse.” She said, though she wasn’t sure it was welcome coming from her. “Elio, I...” she bit her lip and shook her head. Maybe now just wasn’t the time.​
 
Elio was still looking down as she spoke, concentrating more on his arm than her. He did look up hopefully though for a second when she said his name, as though for a moment she was going to say something he could relate to, or understand. It was just more than small talk and his heart skipped a beat at what he was feeling. Hope. Only, it left as quickly as it had arrived when she shook her head and pushed the topic away. Whatever she was going to say she didn't actually want to tell him now. So many thoughts suddenly flashed through the Gryffindors mind, and he was trying to ignore them, tell himself that he was just clinging on to old memories. "How.. are you okay?" he asked eventually, swallowing as he glanced her up and down. He didn't think Vegeta had done anything to her on the way out, if he had, Elio would certainly know about it, but there was the underlying question that he'd wanted to know how she'd been over the last few months as well. It was the first time he was talking to her for too long, she could have been a totally different person by now.
 
Rowan loved Elio, more than anything and she knew that would never change, which, incidentally, was actually part of the problem for her. She was terrified, more than terrified, that Elio would never forgive her for it. He could never return her affections, she understood that now, but what she felt for Elio wasn’t just going to go away like that. She didn’t know how to be his friend like this, she didn’t know how to start the dialogue they needed to have, she didn’t know what to do to make him understand that she was lost, confused, and so deeply sorry for what she’d said and done. She was a fifteen year old girl, she had no idea how to move forward from here. They said every great life started with a loss and she was terrified that this would be hers, but she couldn’t move forward without closure and she knew he couldn’t either, she was right there, he was right there, she just needed to reach out and say... something. I’m fine,” No! She wasn’t fine, but did she have a right to tell him? “Been.. you know, stuff...” Damn it, Rowan!​
 
To hear that Rowan was fine, was a general response and Elio just nodded, scolding himself mentally for thinking that there was anything left between them but small talk. She was here for Zennon. That was all. Clearly she didn't want him to interrupt her and start asking questions that she wouldn't have known the answers to. It was a fruitless attempt to find out what she was doing. Elio stood up, moving past the girl and trying to rummage in the stock himself for something that would bandage his arm. He couldn't just stay here, sat next to the girl he'd spent ages trying to push out of his emotions. No, he had a job he needed to do and just staying in the hospital wing was wasting his time. "You know about Elsie?" he asked, still rummaging and not daring to look over his shoulder at the fifth year. He hadn't told her yet of what Vegeta had done to Elsie, but half assuming her twin would have filled her in on the details, it would have been included in his chat to the Head of House. If she didn't know, Elio wasn't going to keep pretending that nothing was going on, especially since Rowan wasn't even his friend. "I don't know if she told you. Vetega went for her too. Probably why he went for me today." he found something that he could wrap his arm up with, trying to tug at one end with his teeth.
 
He was moving about, probably causing more problems to his arm, but Rowan didn't have the authority to stop him and she knew that. She would have, once upon a time, but that time had passed now, as much as she wanted to go back to it. She nodded, though she wasn't sure he could see when he asked about Elsie, running her tongue along the braces she still wasn't used to. "I've... known about that since first year," she admitted, though she wasn't sure why. It probably just made her look like a right horrible sister, but, she'd made promises to Elsie, promises that Elio maybe wouldn't understand. Elsie had said she could handle it on her own, and really, Rowan hadn't realised how bad it had been, or she would have gone to Zennon immediately. "I wanted to kick his ass, but... Elsie made me promise I'd leave it alone." She added, crossing her legs and closing in on herself a bit. She couldn't look at Elio. There was a lot she felt guilty for, after all. Elio was a massive part of that. She looked at him though, when he mentioned it might have been why Vegeta had gone for him and, though she didn't feel relief, some part of her felt better at knowing it hadn't been happening as long as she'd feared, not that it made it much better. "I thought... that's... um, thank you... for helping her I mean." He hadn't had to put himself out there like that, especially since this had turned out to be the result.​
 
Elio glanced over to Rowan when she mentioned first year. How long had this been going on for! He hadn't known about anything before the incident during the previous semester when he'd stepped in, and if this was a bigger thing that the twins knew about, why hadn't he been stopped already? "What about Zennon. He knows too right?" he asked, suddenly aware that the Slytherin had been made a prefect recently. The more people they had to their story, the better chance they had against Vegeta. He waved off her comment literally when she thanked him. He would have done it for anyone. "Look, I'm fine now," he said, showing her his arm. He'd pulled up his jumper, wiped away any of the blood around the cut and then wrapped the whole thing up in a bandage. It would at least suffice for a short amount of time, and he couldn't just hang around here waiting forever. "Can we go now?" he asked, looking a bit of a sight but not caring. "I mean. I am. I'm going now. If you want to come with me to help then you're more than welcome." he said, headed for the door. He would have appreciated Rowan's company for his case, but he could have done without the added hurt he got every time he looked at her too. She looked so much less happy then when he'd known her, but aware there was nothing he could do to turn it around, pushed on.
 
Rowan was still angry about Vegeta, and talking about him was only making her anger worse. It had subsided some, as she was talking to Elio, not wanting to take anything out on him, but, it was like he was persisting on the subject just to spite her. Now he was asking about Zennon? Of course Zennon didn't know, they weren't stupid. Zennon would have straight up killed Vegeta for sure. He didn't like confrontation, but knowing he was a parselmouth now, that meant that they'd made the right choice. Zennon was crap at defending himself in situations, but his family? Yeah, don't mess with Zennon's family at cost of life. "No, we didn't tell him, he would have... stepped in." She said, chewing on her lip a little bit to try and calm down. Why did Elio keep trying to leave? He was hurt! As he showed her his arm however, Rowan couldn't keep the anger from boiling over and she stood up, finally, out of her chair, unable to contain herself. "For f*ck sake, Elio. Sit the f*ck down and wait!" He was going to bleed out, or something, and she refused to let that happen, if she had to petrify him to get him to stay she was damn well going to do that.​
 
Elio didn't know what Rowan meant by the fact Zennon would have stepped in, but at least he knew not to mention it to him if it seemed like the wrong thing to do. He was nearly at the door when he heard Rowan, stopping in his tracks. "For god's sake, why do you even care?!" he shouted back before he could stop himself, instantly regretting it given they weren't the only people in the room. The prefect slunk back to the bed, not looking at the blonde at all and taking a seat grumpily, trying to salvage whatever dignity he had left. He didn't want to look at her. He refused to in fact. Instead he just sat there in silence and telling himself over and over that he was here in the wing by himself. He made a point to look in the other direction, watching the other patients to see if he could work out what was wrong with them, just so that he didn't have to look at the girl behind him that seemed to both want to ignore and demand things from him. Sooner he was done with this and her, the better off he'd be. He'd spent way too long pining over her and it was obvious she wasn't who he'd remembered.
 
"BECAUSE I..." Because she what? Because she loves him? He was refusing to look at her, clearly he didn't want to hear something like that. She looked around at the others in the room, feeling a little bad that she was disturbing them, but, what was she supposed to do. Her heart was clenching painfully in her chest and it was all she could do not to just clutch herself and cry. All she wanted to do was crawl into his lap and just sob, but she couldn't do that either, she was sure he'd hate her even more than he did now. She licked her lip, staring at the back of his head as he did his level best to avoid her eyes. "So, you're not even going to look at me. That's fine, I understand." She said, though she wasn't sure why she was even talking. But she couldn't stop herself from continuing. "You know... it's pretty crazy, everything, you, me, never would have thought it in a million years, I mean, we're so different." She said, desperately trying to stop herself from talking to the back of his head, but, the dam had burst and the words just wouldn't stop. "I just... couldn't stop it. And then, when you told me you were gay, I mean, I knew that, somewhere inside I guess I'd always known it, but, stupid me just couldn't stop myself from falling in love with you, it was stupid, but..." She shook her head. She couldn't help it, but, she still loved Elio and though she knew he wouldn't return it, she just needed him to know. "Yeah, I dunno."
 
As Rowan spoke, Elio shut his eyes and lowered his head, doing whatever he could to block out her voice. It was because she had left him that they were no longer friends. It was nothing to do with him anymore than she didn't want to be around him. Yeah, he was gay, and Rowan couldn't handle that. He'd spent a long time trying to figure out whether he needed to be more open with others about his sexuality in case they perceived him wrong, something he'd never even considered doing before Rowan had thrown a cog in the works, and something he was still unsure about. "You don't.. love me Rowan." At least not in the sense Elio knew she was referring to. "You love the idea of me. You love the idea that someone is going to come along and be perfect for you, in every way. You take perfect pictures, setting things up just the way you need them to be, and then when that doesn't work and your reality is different from what you have pictured in your head, you can't handle it." he'd never expected to say that to the blonde, unsure himself even of where it had come from, but knowing it was true. She wanted him to fit what she wanted, and the moment she found out he couldn't be set up like one of her objects, she'd bolted for it. "Don't forget you're the one who left me." he finished, still not facing towards her, but hoping that it would have been enough for her to stop making him feel so guilty.
 
Rowan felt... exposed, vulnerable and like the world was breaking up around her. She could see the tiny threads holding them together fraying and she didn’t know how to grab hold of them and pull them back. What he’d said, he was right, he was so right. Everything he said about her was true and she’d honestly thought he didn’t know her. But what did this mean? Was there a chance for them to come back from this? Could she ever apologise enough to make up for this? She didn’t want to lose him but she felt like everytime she opened her mouth she was making things worse. She suddenly reached up to feel the tears that had been falling down her face, she didn’t know how long she’d been crying, but all she knew was that she couldn’t leave here without knowing whether or not they could fix it. “Elio,” she started her voice cracking despite her trying to avoid it. “You’re right, I don’t handle change well... I try to make everything perfect... and... maybe I did try to do that to you... I know that,” she said, licking her lips as she moved slowly around to face him. “But please... Elio, you have to know I love you for you... I know you don’t love me back, honestly I do, please don’t tell me I don’t love you, because I do.” She wasn’t expecting anything, she just needed him to know that.​
 
About now would have been a good point in time for the world to swallow him whole, as he felt Rowan's eyes on the back of his head, and he could tell from her speech that she was no longer dry eyed. Sure enough, he readjusted his position on the end of the bed so that their bodies were at least facing toward one another, although he couldn't help but think what everyone else in the room was thinking as they saw the pair of them, perched on the hospital wing bed, a mess. It took him a moment to know what to say next, as though whatever was about to come out of his mouth was either going to be too harsh, or too quick to forgive. He wanted to forgive Rowan and move on from this, but not if it meant he'd be hurt again. "So if you knew.." he began, quoting from her previous sentence, "You knew that you were like that. And that you love me. Why did you leave me?" he asked, still not looking up to meet her eyes. It didn't make sense to him. The only person he would have ever considered he loved asides from his family, was his friends, he would have done anything for them. He wasn't ready to tell her about the impact of her leaving had had on him yet, he didn't know if he could trust her.
 
Rowan didn't know what to say. Only a moment ago all she'd wanted to do was for him to listen to her, and to talk, but now... he asked her why she left, and the truth was, that it had hurt. Looking at Elio had hurt and she thought that putting some distance between them for a little bit would help. She'd always intended to find him again and talk to him, but, after she'd calmed down and the humiliation had worn off, she'd thought about what she'd said and how much of a scene she'd made and, she felt so stupid, and so horrible that she though Elio would be better off without her. She thought that, after what she'd said, the way she'd tried to make it his fault, that he wouldn't want to be her friend, that he deserved someone who was much better than her. The longer she'd stayed away, the worse she felt and then it got to the point where it was harder to return to him, because she'd stayed away for so long. She wasn't sure how or why she'd made the decision that they were better off, but she'd been so terribly wrong. She couldn't function without knowing if Elio forgave her or not and, she wasn't sure she could function properly without letting him know that she was so wrong for what she did, but how to express all of this to him? Her tears had not stopped since they had started and she wiped them away slowly, sniffing as she did so, a pathetic display, but she couldn't stop it. It had been so long since she'd spoken to him that she wanted to tell him how she'd felt and everything she was going through, but, there was so much still left unresolved between them, she wasn't sure how to fix it. "I... I didn't r-really know... not at first," she said, making sure to stay out of his space in case he didn't want her anywhere near him. And who could blame him really. "I f-figured it out... really s-slowly. It was... it was like fitting the pieces of a p-puzzle together... except I didn't have the end picture." She said, feeling like he was owed an explanation. "It was only ... m-much later that... it b-became more obvious."
Rowan tried to breath through the tears, trying to dry them. She felt stupid, pathetic and she certainly knew she looked it. She had to press through it though, she had to let Elio know that she was entirely to blame, that none of this was his fault. Even if in the end he would decide never to speak to her again, that he didn't want to be friends with her, she knew she had to make sure she did this, he had done nothing wrong. "It...it wasn't y-you that I left... exactly." She was trying to hard to figure out how she was supposed to explain this, but, thus far she was babbling more than explaining. "I should never have put you in that situation, Elio and... I'm so-so deeply sorry, honestly I am." The things she'd said, should never have been said the way they were, or at all. She should have talked to him about it in private, she should have double checked, she should have never done something so foolish in public. It wasn't just herself she had hurt, it was Elio and anyone Elio might have potentially liked too, it was nothing but a selfish bid for attention and it had taken her entirely too long to realise it, but, once she had, the damage had been done and it had been too late. All she could really hope for now, was for Elio to forgive her... if he thought she was worthy enough even for that. He'd probably lost all respect he'd had for her, she'd certainly lost all respect for herself. It was pretty crazy was six months of inner reflection could do to a person. "I was h-humiliated," she tucked some of her hair behind her ear and sighed, the tears slowly a little as she calmed down slowly. "My b-biggest personal fear, as I found out, was public h-humiliation and I'd walked r-right into it... that was my boggart... right there, p-playing out in f-front of m-me for the world to see a-and... and you... were the one wh-who'd done it... it wasn't... your fault, absolutely not, it was entirely on me... but at the time I just... I guess I-I panicked and... and I didn't know what to do. I felt like the entire Great Hall was watching us, laughing at me... they probably weren't even paying attention, I don't know." She shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself in comfort.​
"By the time I... by the time I calmed down... the night was over... I didn't go b-back to the dorms... I... snuck into the... I snuck to the Ravenclaw towers and... and Elsie stayed with me... she'd had a b-bad night too and... look, I'm... I have no excuses for... for what I did. I won't try to make any... either." She played with her sleeve, drawing some courage from the tattoo she now bore. "You can... hate me... if you want, I just... I needed to tell you... I needed you to know that none of this was your fault... you did everything right... I'm... huh... well... Zennon thought he was the monster... guess we learned the truth." Rowan bit her lip as she kicked her foot gently along the floor. "My life was empty without you in it... I avoided you the more I hurt, because I thought it would stop the pain of the Elio sized hole... but... it just got worse and... and eventually I figured it was too late... to come clean about everything. I thought... maybe you wanted to move on... and just forget we'd ever been friends... I wouldn't have blamed you at all... I just... it's what I deserve. I never deserved you as a friend... and you didn't deserve someone like me." She finally said, almost feeling like she had a weight off of her shoulders.​
 
Elio sat on the bed quietly just listening to the explanation. To begin with it did sound like it was his fault. At least not directly but it was because of him that Rowan had realised what her greatest fear was, and the idea that he was the one responsible for her finding out made the fifth year feel a bit queasy. They had all the same lessons this year but it had been different the last semester, and he hadn’t known about that at all. As the Gryffindor continued on, Elio played over a phrase, an Elio sized hole, which he had to contain himself from smiling at. It was that it was funny or amusing, so much as it had been exactly as he’d spent the last few months with a Rowan shaped hole too, and it was more than a relief to his ears to find out that it hadn’t been one sided at all. When she finished, he continued to remain silent and still, contemplating what she was saying and what he was meant to say back. Maybe there was no use in trying to plan it, and just letting her know his side of the story would fill in some gaps. “When you left me in the hall, I thought it would be a temporary thing. That maybe you needed a few days or weeks but we’d be back to normal in no time. You were my best friend, we both know that. After a while though, yeah, I did want to move on. When I realised my attempts to talk to you weren’t working and to me, well you lost all interest in me when you found out I was gay, I didn’t think you wanted to be friends anymore.” Elio still wasn’t looking up, but carried on speaking, “I’ve had a Rowan shaped hole since then too. And.. no matter what I do, no matter what I try to distract myself with, I can’t get rid of this.. void feeling in my stomach. Every time you would leave the common room without me, or classes, or turn away from me in the corridors, or slide away from me in the Great Hall. It was just another reminder you were gone.” Elio didn’t really know what to say to make them friends again, if that was even possible, but at least he had said what he’d wanted to say. If nothing else then maybe it would give him the closure he’d been searching for if she was no longer able to be around him without facing a memory of her worst fear.
 
There was something about being in the same room as Elio again that just made Rowan ridiculously happy. She’d missed him deeply, even though they hadn’t been friends for very long, they’d become close in such a short amount of time, and they’d probably been apart longer than they’d been friends, which was terrifying to think about, she didn’t know if they could come back from this and listening to him speak, more words than they’d said to each other in such a long time. She could feel what he felt, she knew what he had felt because she’d felt the same. “Elio, I’m so sorry for everything I did, I... I never meant to hurt you, I swear, I, I don’t think I could ever fill my Elio shaped hole with anything other than you in my life. I promise I’ll never leave you again unless you ask me to!” She wasn’t sure she even had a right to ask to be back in his life, but, maybe his admission of missing having her in his life too meant he was extending an olive branch. She hoped so. “Please tell me what I can do to... what I can do to fix...” she didn’t know if he wanted to fix them, but she had to let him know she wanted to try. “Please, please, Elio, I’ll do anything if you give me another chance.”
 
Elio was still sat holding his own arm, but the pain in his arm was numbed a little after talking with Rowan. Every now and then it would twinge, and the bandage surely helped, but his mind was too preoccupied with the conversation he never thought would happen. She said she’d never leave him again but how did he know that wasn’t true? He couldn’t ask her to stay if she didn’t want to. The fifth year thought about what it would take, and despite missing her immensely over the last six months, he found the need to protect himself from getting hurt again. Elio always thought that when this moment came, he would have jumped at the chance to make thing back the way the were, maybe deep down he knew they would never be exactly the same. “Could start by talking to me in classes again,” it was how they’d first became friends after all. He couldn’t look to meet Rowans eyes. He knew how she felt and he didn’t want to give in, as much as his heart wanted him to.
 
Rowan thought her heart was going to stop. She couldn't believe they'd had this chance to talk and she was both relieved and terrified that she'd finally said what she needed to say. Relieved, because it had needed to be said for far too long and terrified because she had no walls, no shields to protect her should Elio reject her again. She wasn't usually this person, she was organised and she read people really well, but, with Elio, there was that little bit of something else, like how he was one of the only people in her life that could hurt her at all. Her family was a given, but of her friends, it was really only Elio who could make the biggest impact and that scared her as much as not having him in her life did. Rowan nervously ran her tongue over her braces, silently waiting for the rejection she'd really been expecting this whole time, and then... acceptance? Rowan's breathing hitched as she caught up to what he'd said. He was... giving her another chance? Rowan's tear streaked face, which had been close to drying now, cracked again as a fresh wave of tears fell. She was sure she looked a sight, but she didn't care, Elio cared enough about her still to let her try again. She was never going to do anything to risk his friendship again, never. She almost ran to him then, to pull him into the hug she'd wanted since she'd left him standing on the grounds alone, but she stopped herself, gripping her wrist where the tattoo sat instead, grounding herself to the spot. She didn't want him to throw her off and she was sure she would have to work up to that again, but she was happy to do it, as long as it takes. "Yes, as long as it takes," she said, nodding. "I won't let you down ever again, I promise, Elio, I promise."
 
Elio could hear that Rowan was still crying, and even though he was beyond grateful they were at least talking again, it was still hard that there was clearly something between them. The Gryffindor shuffled a little, inching his way closer towards the blonde as his legs hung on the side of the bed. Regardless if it was awkward, hugging was Elios way of greeting his friends, it was more than natural to him and all he wanted to do was wrap Rowan up in a hug too. Hoping she wouldn’t mind that he could only offer one arm, and that wasn’t the cleanest given the fight and his injury, he lent forward for a moment, one arm sliding round her waist and pulling her towards him, squeezing her in a tight hug with one arm and resting his head against her side. Maybe it would make things weird again, but he couldn’t stand to see her crying so hard and after so long apart, a hug from her was sorely needed. “You don’t let me down,” he said quietly. He understood things were difficult, and at times they were confusing, but Rowan never let him down.
 
Rowan watched Elio as he kind of shuffled around on the bed until he reached out for her with his good arm and wrapped it around her waist, pulling her into the hug she wasn’t sure she was ever going to get. Trying to be careful of his arm, Rowan wrapped her arms around Elio, all she could think about was how sorry she was about everything and that she’d never let her own insecurities get the better of her like that ever again. She was so busy thinking about everything that she almost missed what was said. She stepped back, he arms still resting on Elio’s shoulders. “You... what?” She was sure she hadn’t heard him right. “I did, I let you down when I didn’t trust you enough to talk to you, I ran away instead and I... I’m so sorry about that.” She nodded and dropped her hands. “I... I really missed you... and... um...” she wanted to show him her tattoo, but, she wasn’t sure if now was the right time as she played with her sleeve for what felt like the thousandth time today. “Thank you... for giving me another chance, I’ll never leave you again.”
 
Elio looked up at the blonde when she seemed confused at what he said, and listened as she explained herself more. "I get it," he said bluntly, although he didn't intent to sound so cold about it, "I mean, it gets to a certain point, you're not sure if you can bring it back." he added, knowing sort of how she felt given that he too had moments where he wanted to talk to her, but it no longer ever seemed like the right time. "I missed you too, Ro" the fifth year squeezed her a little with his arm, "I..want to make things right again. Just because, you might see me differently now, maybe that's a good thing. Maybe now we can be even better friends," It was the hopeful outlook, and one that he did honestly want to believe was possible. Eventually a nurse came over, and Elio wondered if they'd been hovering a little so that they could finish their conversation which was nice, and he welcomed gladly the pain killers and professional attention to his arm. Hopefully it wouldn't leave too much of a scar, but if it did, it would just remind him of the time he began to get his best friend back.
 

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