Stepping Out

Isaac Kain

defensive; sarcastic; logical; healer in training
Messages
242
OOC First Name
Pheeb
Blood Status
Half Blood
Relationship Status
Single
Wand
Knotted 14 1/2 Inch Sturdy Oak Wand with Meteorite Dust Core
Age
7/2032 (19)
The chat that Isaac had had with Professor Pendleton had gotten the Ravenclaw thinking about what he was going to do with his fourth year. He knew he'd been somewhat of an outcast up until now, but that had been what he liked. It was easier to keep himself to himself and not try, though the more he considered why it seemed to come from the idea that if he were going to put any effort into something it would have be a topic pre-approved by his parents. Any movement off the path would cause them to get angry, much in the way they had with Lillith, but remaining on the path would too have long term consequences that Isaac didn't want to face.

If he was going to have any way of being happy with himself it was a battle he was going to have to come up against, although at least he knew what he had to do. As he lay out by the lake on his front, leaning up on his elbows with a notebook out in front of him, he was idling working away at one of his own story lines as he trying to find the best way of finding out what his girlfriend thought of his latest ideas. It was moments like this that he'd come to cherish the most. Being away from the rest of the school and able to do his own thing beside someone who was willing to listen, it had become his favourite thing to do. Looking up from his book, he glanced across to the Ravenclaw beside him, "So, you know how I used to be a beater?" he asked her, seemingly out of the blue as it had been a couple of minutes since either of them had said anything. He gave a small shrug, as well as he could lying on the grass, "Thinking I might give it another try." His tone may have been casual, but it had been something on his mind for the last few weeks and Sophie's opinion of it probably counted for more than he was willing to let on.
 
Sophie was glad to have smoothed things over with Elly. Their talk had been nice, and she was glad they were no longer awkwardly avoiding each other. Maybe things with Geo and Elly would work out too, and they could all hang out again. But she was glad to hang out with Isaac too. Even though she was still a little awkward, she was starting to feel more and more at ease with him as her boyfriend. The two understood each other, which wasn't something that happened to Sophie often. Somehow, they could just be together without any complications, and she liked that.

One of the things she liked best about their relationship was the fact that they could just hang out together while doing completely separate things. They didn't always have to do things together or even talk, they could just enjoy each other's company without being all mushy about it. They were both lying on the grass near the lake. Though it wasn't that warm out, it wasn't so bad with her cloak on. Isaac was reading a book and Sophie was drawing in her sketchbook while lying on her front. Drawing was still a hobby of hers, even if she did it less than she had as a first-year. "Hm?" She asked him, looking up to glance in his direction. "Yeah, I remember." Not being a fan of Quidditch, it hadn't really registered for Sophie back then. But Isaac had mentioned it before. His next words made her pause, putting down her pencil. Her first reaction was one of mockery, as she really felt like he was too smart to waste his time on Quidditch. But she stopped herself, thinking of why he would say this to her. Maybe he was looking for her opinion? But if she gave her honest opinion, he might be hurt. Normally she quite blunt and said what was on her mind, so it wasn't easy for Sophie to take this time before saying anything. But when she did, her reply was careful. "You are? Why?" She asked him, careful to keep judgement out of her voice.
 
Isaac knew that Sophie wasn't exactly the biggest fan of the sport, but wanted to know if he went for it, whether or not she'd be there to support him. The idea itself was terrifying and if it was something he was even remotely a part of, it would have to be dealt with differently than it was in his first year. He wasn't expecting banners and whistles but if he had someone to talk about it then it may have encouraged him to continue. "I want to do something," he admitted, looking back down at his book, but his mind was still averted on the conversation despite the few seconds of silence. "I don't want to graduate in the same place I started here," he added, his cheeks turning a little pink as he said so. Right now he had nothing to his name, and asides from the minimum grades he wasn't going to leave the school in a shape that would help his future. "I don't want to become one of those, pretentious arrogant asses you get like, in Gryffindor, but I you know I want to do something more than just hide I guess." Every day was spent wasting his time, and it was starting to grate on him. "I'm going to take more classes too." he added, glancing back towards her. If he could take some more of the electives it would open the chances in his future, and for the time being it would stall his parents if they found out. As fun as he found drama, it wasn't like he could make a career out of it, and besides, he had enjoyed pretending to be other people for a while but it was time to wake up to reality.
 
Sophie picked up her pencil again and spun it around in her hand while she listened to her boyfriend. The idea of dating a Quidditch player wasn't very appealing to her, but she could hear in his voice that he really wanted to do it. She was starting to think that maybe judging people on their hobbies was a little silly anyway. After all, both Elly and Geo played the sport and she still liked them. She turned her head to look at him, studying his profile. "If you want to do it, you should." She said simply. "I don't understand it, and I probably won't. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try out." She smirked slightly as he mentioned pretentious arrogant Gryffindors, one in particular coming to mind. Fondly, she nudged Isaac with her elbow. "I know you wouldn't ever become like that. That's why I like you." She said, a hint of sincerity in her voice. She could understand his desire to do more, but she worried a bit as well. "Don't overdo it, though." Then she paused. "I'll come to your matches if you make it onto the team. But I'll pretend its for the paper if anyone asks." She said with a small smile, half-joking.
 
With his eyes fixed on the pages, Isaac listened to Sophie's words as a small smile appeared on his face. Even though she didn't like it it felt as though she were on his side. He glanced up at her when she mentioned she liked him, and his heart proceeded to flip in his chest as his smile grew. Every time his eyes caught on to hers he felt as though she was able to see right through him, and while that wasn't something he was ever going to get used to, it was strangely comforting. Isaac let out a small laugh at the idea of her coming to see him play, dressed head to toe in Ravenclaw gear but insisting she were only there to write. "The paper? I hope I don't become your next Quidditch victim," he laughed playfully, although knowing how well she wrote and how much effort she put into it, he would have read anything she put in there. Feeling at peace outside with Sophie, he hesitated to turn away, his blue eyes instead locked on her features. Before he had a chance to realise what he was doing, or comprehend the consequences of his actions that he would usually over think and cause him to break out in a cold sweat, he moved forward to bridge the gap between them and kissed his girlfriend straight on the mouth. It was only for a few seconds, but when he pulled away slowly, his eyes reopening to look up nervously into her face, he wondered whether he should've asked her first.
 
Sophie felt a little proud of her words to Isaac. She knew a few years ago she would have condemned him for wanting to be on the team without a second thought. Seeing the smile on his face made her feel like she had definitely said the right thing. Quidditch wasn't evil, it was just very overrated in Sophie's opinion. But for Isaac, she would have no problem putting up with it occasionally. She stuck out her tongue when he told her he hoped not to be her next victim. She wasn't that bad, was she? "I'll try to spare you." She said with a smirk. But her smirk faltered as she met his gaze and held it. The air between them seemed frozen for a moment, and she knew what Isaac was about to do before he actually did it. Still, her heart soared the moment their lips made contact. She squeezed her eyes shut, focusing on the feeling of him so close to her. The kiss was only a fleeting moment, but it was wonderful. Unfortunately, she had the feeling she was now somewhat pink and blotchy. "Uh." She said, blinking as she reopened her eyes. "That was..." her voice trailed off as she tried to think of what to say. Quickly, she realized she couldn't find the words. Panic rose inside her chest as the silence between them grew, because she realized Isaac probably assumed she had hated it if she didn't say something soon. Rather than think of something to say in return, she boldly leaned forward to bridge the gap between them again. It seemed like the most efficient way to make her feelings about this known. The second kiss wasn't much different from the first, but she let it linger a little bit longer before she pulled back. Her face had to be very pink by now, but she didn't really care. Her gaze was on Isaac, her mouth turning up in a shy smile. "That was nice," she said, finally finishing her sentence.
 
Isaac had never spent so much of his energy focused on the rhythm of his heartbeat, but as he waited to hear the verdict of his actions, it was the only thing he could concentrate on. He swallowed nervously, his eyes never leaving Sophies, a mixture of overwhelming emotion flooding his brain. Perhaps he should have waited a little longer, he didn't know whether they were in the right place in their relationship to have gone further, nor what was considered normal, although as he was thinking about how actually it had felt like the right thing to do at the time, Sophie had lent across to kiss him again. A small smile had appeared on his face when she called it nice, and even though it was brief, it was the most elated he'd felt since joining the school. Sophie was more than just his friend, or even his girlfriend. She was the person that understood how he was feeling and even when he wasn't able to express himself she seemed to be on his level. They may not have agreed on everything over the couple of years they'd known one another, but that didn't matter. Instead he was grateful to just have someone by his side who knew how he worked without having to lay it all out every time. When he pulled away slightly and hesitantly, he peered up at her eyes once more, "I know." Right here, right now, there was no where else he'd rather have been. He had so much he wanted to tell her, about how much she meant to him, although as always he didn't really know how. With one hand he tucked her hair behind her ear, before glancing back towards her dark eyes. "You're really beautiful Soph," his own cheeks by this point has turned a spectacular shade of scarlet, but he felt like it what something that needed to be said. The smile remained on his face, although dropping his gaze in case he'd stepped the line, he hoped their time together was salvageable and he hadn't just ruined it for them.
 
Sophie wasn't sure if the scared feeling in her chest was normal or not. Did everyone else feel terrified when doing this? It was paired with many wonderful feelings as well, but being so open about her feelings always made her feel small. Isaac was wonderful though, and if she could open up with anyone she knew it was with him. The kiss she had initiated had emboldened her somewhat, and when she met his gaze she suddenly didn't feel so nervous anymore. His words made her smile slightly, though she also felt herself tense a bit when he tucked her hair behind her ear. She hated how she could feel herself blush, though she fought to keep her eyes on his. But when he told her she was beautiful, she had to avert her gaze. It was a lot for him to say, and she was speechless for a moment. What was she supposed to answer. Should she say thank you? That felt weird. Biting her lip, she thought of how to answer. "You're... not bad yourself. More than not bad, if you squint." She finally said, nudging the conversation back into more familiar joke territory. But she also reached for his hand and squeezed it, trying to show without words that she appreciated what he had said even if she couldn't find the words to react to it properly.
 
Isaac wasn't sure how many seconds or minutes passed between his comment and the next, but he was sure it certainly felt like longer than it was supposed to. Maybe he should have just kept quiet after all. As she looked away, he relaxed his own eyesight, looking instead across the lake as a wide smile appeared on his face at her words. He laughed a little, glad that she'd not taken the situation too seriously. It seemed to be what worked between them, and even if others did things differently he knew it didn't mean they had to too. As he squeezed her hand in return, he felt as though they were alright, that things weren't as weird as he may have made out in his head a few moments ago. He let out a small sigh as he tried to figure out the words he wanted to say without delving too deep. Choosing to remain silent instead, his own fears getting the better of him, he took the hint from his girlfriend and turned the topic to something a little more lighthearted, pushing his book out the way and turning to lie on his back, feeling the grass against his arms and head and laying his free hand across his eyes to block out the light. "You should submit that to the Hogwarts Monthly. Agony Aunt. How do I tell a boy he looks good? Well, tell him that anyone can be improved with a lack of eyesight." he grinned playfully at the Ravenclaw, still holding on to her hand in one of his and began moving their fingers around one anothers.
 
Sophie was glad Isaac hadn’t taken offense to her words. Sometimes this felt like all they did. One of them would say something sweet (usually, this was Isaac, she could admit to herself) and the other would deflect with some sort of joke. Sophie wasn’t sure if that was how dating was supposed to go, but she was glad about it. Hopefully, Isaac wasn't just putting on a happy face. A part of her worried her constant deflections would get to him eventually, that maybe he would get sick of it. But for now, he didn't seem to mind. She propped herself up, watching him turn onto his back. "Well. It's good, because you got my general meaning." She said with a small smile. "That is pretty much what I meant. So, good job." This was the closest she got to saying he looked nice, or giving any sort of real compliment in return. She watched as he entwined his fingers around hers, and she squeezed his hand slightly. "This is nice. Though it is hard to draw with you holding my hand." She squeezed it again, just to make sure he knew she didn't really mind.
 
Most people may have seen their relationship as a little bit strange. They'd been together for nine months and this was the closest they'd gotten, but for the Ravenclaw it suited him and he was glad with the progress they made. He wasn't used to opening up to anyone, to letting anyone in, and in all honesty it scared him to think that someone would get close enough to him to be able to hurt him. That being said, he felt like he was on a similar wave length to Sophie, and every back handed compliment was frequently met with a grin as it made him more comfortable around her. "Oh, sorry." he released her hand so that she could go back to drawing, tucking both his hands instead underneath his head. He paused for a moment, hoping he'd not interrupted her too much or broken her flow from her work, eyes staring straight up as though he were just thinking although there was still a telling grin on his face that appeared whenever he was around the brunette. "Did you speak to Elizabeth over the holidays?" he asked her a few moments later. He knew that the pair had had a little difficulty last year, and he wondered how she'd dealt with it. Sophie was Isaac's one and only friend and he couldn't imagine what he'd do if he were in a similar situation.
 
Being here at the lake with Isaac was very peaceful. If she had seen any other couple lying here on the grass while holding hands, she would have rolled her eyes at them. But with Isaac, it felt right. It worried her a little, how close she felt to him. What if he stopped feeling the same way? The thought was in the back of her mind, but she tried to push it further back. She just had to enjoy the moment, not worry about what could potentially happen in the future. When Isaac released her hand, she wanted to tell him she had been joking. Sophie could draw anytime, so it could wait. But she had said it, so now she couldn't really take it back. Hesitantly, she picked up her pencil again, doodling sun in the corner of her paper. At Isaac's question, she looked at him. A small smile appearing on her face as she saw the grin on his face. Her boyfriend was really rather handsome. So why couldn't she just say that to him? "Yes, we ended up getting ice cream together." She said, thinking back to the conversation. "We made up... it really was kind of silly. Our reason for fighting, I mean." She didn't think she could just tell Elly's business to anyone, so she hoped Isaac wouldn't ask for details. "Do you ever get jealous?" She asked him, hesitant. "That was why I even got mad at her. With both her and Geo as friends... it's hard not to feel mediocre sometimes."
 
Sophie may have been the only person he spoke to, but he was well aware she had other friends asides from him, if that was even the best thing to call himself. He was glad to hear that they'd made up, although when she asked him whether he ever got jealous, it wasn't something he'd really considered before. Who did he have to get jealous of? He supposed for a while he felt a little jealous that his sister seemed to be able to have the confidence to stand up to their parents, when he was left in the background, too afraid to do anything that would cause him to step out of line. Perhaps he'd been jealous of the students in the school, who for years he'd watch go about their business while he was left in the shadows, until of course he'd been picked up by Sophie that day. He wasn't sure though whether he was ever jealous of her though. If anything, she'd given him the inspiration to do what he did, and more often than not he found himself looking up to her. "Sometimes, I guess." It was the best he could do without going into all the details. He'd spent years pushing down his feelings and showing very little on the surface. The Ravenclaw started laughing quietly though, his eyes glanced across to her when she mentioned feeling mediocre. "I mean, sure, they're pretty amazing," he grinned, teasing but a little unaware to how his sarcasm may have come across. He didn't really know much about either Elly or Geo, but he was pretty sure that Sophie didn't need so called friends that were going to make her feel bad, it just wasn't worth the time or the trouble.
 
Sophie's feelings about her friends were complex. Her jealous was a reoccuring problem, something that had been building up over the past three years. But she did really love and respect them both as well. It wasn't easy for Sophie to open up about her emotions, so telling Isaac she got jealous of her friends sometimes was fairly hard for the girl. His response wasn't really what she had hoped for, and a small frown appeared on her face in reaction. His lukewarm admission that he sometimes felt jealousy was one thing, though it made her feel like he wasn't really all that interested in her feelings. But the obvious sarcasm in his voice when he talked about Elly and Geo made Sophie feel like she had to say something. "Look, I told you I was jealous of them, that doesn't mean you get to mock them. They're my best friends." She said, though she hated having to argue with him. "They are pretty amazing. Just in very... noticeable and outstanding ways. Unlike me." She was a little hurt by his reaction. This hadn't been easy for her to admit, and now she felt like it seemed silly to the other boy. "Look, it's... whatever. I know I need to get over it." She added with a small sigh.
 
Even though he knew he was joking, he was still a little surprised by her defensive tone. Perhaps it was because he didn't have many other people in the school, if any, that he'd call a friend asides from Sophie but he found the whole idea to be caught up between drama of students to be much too tiring to bother with. That didn't mean though that he didn't think Sophie shouldn't have them. He'd grown up around people who'd tried to control every aspect of his life and he wasn't about to impose anything like that on those he cared about. "You completely missed my point!" he chuckled to himself, one arm resting over his eyes to keep the sunlight from blinding him as he spoke. The next words he wanted to say were on the tip of his tongue, but as ever he was hesitant to let them escape. Perhaps now wasn't the best time to say it if Sophie was annoyed at him, although in all the time he'd known the Ravenclaw he did feel as though even if she were in a bad mood, they could talk to each other. They'd been doing quite well recently but it still took a few moments for the blonde to gather his courage. "All I'm saying, is they could be. They could be two of the most amazing people in the school. It's irrelevant." It wasn't the most romantic thing he'd ever said by any means, but he was just hoping Sophie could pick out the compliment between the lines without him having to spell it out for her. He glanced across nervously as she sighed, a sense of empathy within him although unable to put into words he knew what it felt like to be over shadowed. He already thought he'd said too much, and the teen wondered if she could feel the awkward tension in the air and he rolled more words around in his head, shifting a little as he tried to come up with something, anything that would make the conversation return to normal.
 
Sophie was quickly getting irritated with herself for her reactions. Mostly, because she kept second guessing them. When she had said something to defend her friends it had felt right, but now she wondered if she had been too dramatic. At least Isaac didn't seem too hurt, as he was still capable of laughing and seemed pretty relaxed. "So your point wasn't that my friends aren't actually great?" She asked him skeptically. That had been what his tone had implied, at least to her. But his next words made her pause, frowning slightly as she tried to puzzle out what he meant. "Because... it shouldn't affect me and I shouldn't compare myself to them?" She asked, wondering if that was what he meant. Isaac's reactions were a little strange to her, but she was trying her best to understand. Usually, it was easy for the two of them t o be on one line. She didn't want that to end now because she misunderstood his reactions. "I know I shouldn't. They're just so... special. They don't even mean to be." She said, feeling sillier about this the more she talked about it. "It's stupid, forget it." She muttered, moving her pencil down her paper slowly to create a wobbly line.
 
Isaac felt a bit uncomfortable at the best of times, although he really was trying to get better at showing what he meant and not pushing down his thoughts and feelings, especially to Soph. However it was made harder when she kept jumping to his conclusions. Perhaps she wouldn't even believe him if he told her what he was really thinking, it wasn't like it was coming from a particularly unbiased source. As she continued to attempt a guess at what he'd been inferring, he quickly realized he was going to have to actually tell her if he wanted her to understand. He couldn't though. That was the problem. He paused in silence for a few moments. He could maybe tell her if he pretended to be someone else, and act it out, although then it wouldn't feel quite as genuine even if he did believe it. He turned his head a little to watch as she continued to draw. There were other means to expression than just words. Stuck between feeling awkward but as though he needed to tell her, he moved over onto his side, gently taking the pencil from the Ravenclaw. "I mean.." he began, before writing it out in tiny letters at the bottom of her drawing, complete with tiny heart. You're amazing. He felt himself cringe as he finished and handed her back the pencil, resuming his previous position in an attempt to not let her see how obviously red he'd turned. Elly and Geo could have been two of the most amazing students in the school, but to him the most was the girl lying beside him. It was so cliché that he didn't really want to say it out loud, but having her beside him was always going to be so much more important that being loud and "overly special".
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Sophie really hoped this talk wouldn't turn into an argument. The moment had been so nice, and if she ruined it by talking about her friends and then being to sensitive to accept Isaac talking about them too she would be mad at herself. Nervously, she awaited his reaction to her words. Hopefully, he would agree that they should forget about it. His reaction seemed strange, he didn't say anything for a while, looking nervous and a little uncomfortable. She frowned in confusion as her boyfriend took her pencil from her, watching as he scribbled something at the bottom of the page. She leaned in to read it, and once she did her cheeks flushed. Her gaze snapped to him, and she was now at a loss for words too. Her first instinct was to make a joke out of it again. Maybe call him sappy, tease him. But she couldn't keep doing that, not when he said such sincere things to her. Swallowing nervously, she took the pencil back. In large, bold letters, she added. So are you. To the page. Then she kissed his cheek. "Thanks." She said softly.
 

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