Open Regrets

Chrysander Kaster

my life is my own; freedom is finite
 
Messages
325
OOC First Name
Trig
Blood Status
Mixed Blood
Relationship Status
Single
Sexual Orientation
pansexual
Wand
Knotted 12 Inch Sturdy Oak Wand with Dragon Heartstring Core
Age
3/2035
Anyone who knew Chrys, knew he never went to the library. He was not the kind of person who studied (and let's be honest his grades definitely proved it), the only class he'd done well in was Transfiguration and given his father was an animagus, one could have been forgiven for suggesting he'd cheated. Although if he'd cheated he was sure he'd have gotten better than an E. Chrys had never felt so lost in his life, really. He and Elsie had a special friendship, she was the first girl he'd ever properly kissed after all, and they said you never forgot those kind of things. It was hard for him to believe that the only way he could see her face anymore was from the pages of the Accio yearbooks. Luna was his best friend, Marco was a good mate, Elio was... Elio, but Elsie had been a piece of his heart. He'd loved her like a sister as their relationship had developed, and he'd trusted her with a lot. Only she and Luna really knew the conflict he was going through, though now it was only Luna. He loved Luna, she was his best friend, and he would need her a lot this year he felt but, Elsie was Elsie. There was just something about her that drew people in. It was hard to not be friends with her the moment you met her, even if she hated it. Chrys took one of the yearbooks from he archives and flicked through the pages until he got to fifth year and sighed. All she'd wanted to do was Graduate, who'd have ever thought that was the kind of dream someone could miss out on?​
 
Coming back to school had been surreal, and really it had taken a lot of Ilija not to just drop out there and then. He didn't know what the next two years had in store for him but how much worse could things get? He'd headed to the library, hoping for any kind of distraction, knowing that he'd more or less lost most of the friends he'd managed to make last year, either because they'd transferred away or refused to come out of the common room, meaning Ilija was back to being by himself. He knew he could still talk to Marco, but Ilija often felt guilty, as though he was stopping him doing what he had to with his prefect duties, or was interrupting his nap times. He could have sworn sometimes that Hufflepuff took after his cats more than he realised. He entered the library and spotted one of his other dorm mates, looking through last years Accio! yearbook. Regardless of whether or not it was what Chrysander was looking at, he felt a pang in his own stomach at the reminder of last year and who had been there. There would be at least a few less faces this year. "Chrys?" he asked, finding the courage somewhere in his voice to actually speak. Usually he was intimidated by the sixth year and what he might say, but given he was currently by himself in one of the quietest rooms of the school and looking pensive, maybe it was Ilija's chance to help him. He'd been friends with the twins too, Ilija had seen them together at the study group. "Are you okay?" he asked, clutching his own textbook to his chest, not wanting to get too close to him in case he was told to leave him alone.
 
Marco wasn’t quite sure what to think of his break. It had been weird, he hadn’t seen much of either of his sisters and because of that, all of the attention from his parents went to him. He knew Eva was secretly meeting up with someone but Marco had yet to find out who. It was a little suspicious, but he was being a good brother by not telling his parents anything about it. They didn’t know and just assumed she was spending time with her cousin Nick. He was happy to be back at school, without the pressure of repeatedly being told what to improve on during term time. He was busy enough as it was. Or he liked to think he was. Marco grabbed his bag and made his way to the library, thinking that his study methods for last year had worked so well that he would continue with what he was doing. When he spotted his roommates he approached them, just catching the tail end of what Ilija said. "Hi guys," he said, making his presence known. He frowned, also wondering if Chrys was okay. It seemed as though he was missing something, something important, and wondered if either of them would fill in the blanks. He may just be imagining it, but Marco was convinced that both of his friends were down, and not their usual selves. Especially Chrys. The Prefect did not want to ask yet, he didn’t want to seem intrusive, he would let them say whatever they felt comfortable with, if anything at all. But the atmosphere was a little tense, and Marco was growing more concerned by the minute.
 
If it wasn't for the fact that Chrys wasn't feeling very much like himself, he would have been pretty horrified about being found in the library. As it was, he barely even noticed when a couple of his roommates found him, and was focused almost entirely on the photo of Rowan and Elsie in the year book. A moment later he flipped the page to reveal Sapphire and Onyx as well, but the pain of that hurt him too much and so he flipped back to Elsie. He didn't have regrets with Elsie, not like he did with Onyx. He tried to love the Gryffindor, but he just couldn't. He wasn't sure why he should be punished for that. Chrys looked up at a voice that spoke to him, Ilija, and shook his head, kicking out one of the chairs across from him to offer the seat to him. He'd never really spoken to Ilija before, truth be told, half the time he forgot his roommate was even his roommate, and then he'd see him and be reminded he'd been attracted to him since third year, not that anything had ever or would ever come of it. Especially not now, not like this. "Nope, wanna sit?" He asked, nodding at the chair he'd just kicked out before he sat back in his chair. "I heard you were there," he said, before turning to see that another had joined them, Marco. He liked Marco and definitely knew him better than he knew Ilija, but he wasn't feeling any particular way about ether of them at the moment and he nodded is head at Marco too, gesturing him over to another hair near him. "Take a seat, Marco, might as well have company."
 
Abian had honestly been surprised by how well he had done on the OWLs. He had never really done well, but it turned out that working hard and studying actually helped a bit. He wasn't sure if he could keep it up, but he was a little hopeful now. Maybe he could actually do it, could actually become a healer. But he knew he still had a long way to go.The boy was looking for a book to help him with Herbology, when he spotted a small group of very familiar boys sitting together. Abian smiled and headed over to the table, raising his eyebrows a bit as he joked. "Did my roommate gathering invitation get lost in the mail?" He asked, as he didn't think he'd ever seen all of them sitting together like this. He always figured they had other friends, and now he wondered if they were all closer together than Abian had thought.
 
Ilija was actually glad when Chrys told him he wasn’t okay. Ilija had enough trouble opening up to people himself, passing it off with a casual it’s fine instead of telling the truth. It was easier sometimes to hide his worries although even last year he’d eventually sought out Katy to tell her what was really going on, and it had helped him more than he ever thought it would have. He willingly took the seat beside Chrys that his dorm mate had kicked out for him, nodding when he stated Ilija had been there. That was confirmation if he’d even needed any, that Chrys has a similar thing to Ilija on his mind. Perhaps not directly, but it was both caused by Elsie’s death. He looked up to see Marco had joined them too, “Hi,” giving him half a smile. He was grateful his best friend had joined too, at least it wouldn’t mean Ilija would be by himself in a conversation that could prove difficult. He didn’t know whether word had gotten round to Marco yet, although it would fly around the school quickly once lessons were back in full swing. “It’s been a strange summer,” Ilija said quietly, wanting to push conversation towards what had happened, but not wanting Marco to feel like they were just ignoring him. That was when another familiar face joined them and Ilija gave a wave to Abian, wondering if there had actually been a gathering that he had walked in on by coincidence given they were all here. Ilija liked Abian too, and now they were finally both on the team he probably saw him most of the trio sitting around the table with him.
 
(I’m so sorry guys both for how this reply sucks & for the delay)

When Chrys gestured for Marco to sit, the boy did so, and narrowed his eyes slightly. He seemed so down that Marco didn’t know whether he should ask if he was okay. No actually, he didn’t seem down, he seemed more than that. Now that he had sat down though he noticed Ilija’s expression too and he furrowed his eyebrows. What was up with them? He gave Ilija a warm smile in return, and when he heard him say it had been a strange summer, something clicked in Marco’s brain and it finally made sense as to why they were acting this way. Had they somehow been involved in it too? How? Until now, Marco had had no idea Chrys and Ilija had been friends with the Baros twins. Before he could straight out ask though, Abian joined them, and Marco sent him a small smile at their roommate. "Hey Abian," he greeted. He possibly knew about it but he wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t as it was too early in the year still. Word was bound to get out soon and the sixth year felt for his friends, he didn’t know loss so he couldn’t relate to them, although he wished he could cheer them up somehow. It wasn’t fair. Marco sent a quick glance to both Chrys and Ilija, not wanting to be the first one to say anything about the accident while at the same time not wanting to exclude Abian from the conversation. He had been shocked, to say the least, when Elio had told him, and sooner or later his friends should know he knew too. Finally, he took a breath and looked at Chrys and Ilija with a sad expression. "I’m so sorry," he told them softly, his eyes and tone clearly telling them that he had heard the terrible news.
 
It was like a roommate meeting had been called or something, so as Abian joined them, Chrys was a little shocked, but he didn't mind. He couldn't say he was particularly close friends with any of them, well, he was probably closest to Marco for certain reasons, but there was no awkwardness between them because Marco and Chrys didn't see each other like that, well, Marco didn't see Chrys like that and Chrys respected that. "Next time I'll be sure to write them in clearer handwriting because the mailing system is shot," Chrys said, smiling lightly at Abian. There didn't seem to be any point in completely closing off to any jokes. He might have had a pretty crappy break, but that didn't mean he had to let it show on his face or in his personality. Other People had it way worse than him. "Strange is... a word, yeah," he said, before waving his hand lightly at Marco and resting his chin on his hand. "Word's been getting around I guess, not surprising, we're all in the same year, so of course people are going to start noticing," he said, thinking how difficult it must have been for Rowan. After all it was her sister. "We never get together like this, we should hang out way more, you know just be boys and do stupid sh*t," he said. It had been over five years now and they'd never spent a lot of time together in a group. Losing Elsie had shown him just how much he was missing. Opportunity for change maybe?​
 
Abian hadn't initially picked up on the somber atmosphere, but as soon as he heard llija and then Marco speak, he knew there was something he was missing. He glanced between them and then at Chrys, a bit confused. But as Chrys went in on his joke and didn't go into details about his break, Abian got the feeling he didn't want to get into it right now. Except, he then alluded to something, something he clearly assumed they all knew about. He glanced at Ilija a little helplessly, hoping for some sort of explanation. Abian hesitated a bit at his last words. "What kind of stupid... uh, stuff?" He asked, wondering if Chrysander had anything in mind. "I've done some stupid stuff in my time, like the time me and Phineas were practicing stunning spells and I got hit by one." He said with a slight smile. "Do you mean stuff like that?" He felt a bit lost, but wanted to be a part of the conversation anyway. He agreed that they never really spent a lot of time together, which was kind of stupid. He liked his roommates a lot.
 

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