Closed Just Killed off What Was Left of the Optimist in Me

Tristan Collins

🖋️Two-faced | Ambitious | 7th Year | Charming🖋️
 
Messages
1,221
OOC First Name
Daphne
Blood Status
Muggleborn
Relationship Status
Single
Sexual Orientation
Bisexual
Wand
Curly 11 Inch Swishy Ash Wand with Kelpie Hair Core
Age
3/2031 (17)
Set after this topic


Tristan's heart was pounding wildly in his chest as he made his way into the nearest abandoned classroom, only vaguely aware enough to check if nobody was there before he collapsed into the nearest chair. The sound of people whispering and laughing at him was still playing in his ears, and he could still see all the eyes that were on him, mocking or disgusted. Some amused, some ashamed for him. It was horrible, and he knew that Vivian had hurt him where it cut him deepest. But the mockery and the humiliation wasn't the only thing that was paining him. The other thing that kept replaying in his mind was the sight of Vivian walking away, leaving the great hall, and him. He had thought his reputation was the most important thing to him, but only now that Vivian had abandoned him did he realize he had been precious as well. Now he had lost him, as well as any credibility he'd had left at the school. Professors had seen this happen, and Tristan knew they would all be talking about him today. Everyone in the school. The thought sickened him. Tristan hunched over in the chair, and his body started to shake as he began to cry. Eevn though he was alone, he still tried his best to muffle the noise. Crying was a weakness, and he was angry at himself even as sadness overtook him. He was lost, and he had no idea how to move forward from here. Would it be possible to transfer? That wouldn't look good to future employers, if he transferred late in his final year. Unless he could spin it somehow. But... he didn't think he could just do that, not without his parents to sign off on it. And then he would have to explain the situation, which he desperately didn't want to do. Tristan pressed his palms against his eyes, as if trying to push the tears back. It didn't work, of course, but the sensation helped ground him a little bit. Though he was nowhere ready to face reality yet.
 

Kauri Tipene

positive 💛 helpful 💛 6th yr 💛brotherhood pres💛
 
Messages
640
OOC First Name
Rowan
Blood Status
Muggleborn
Relationship Status
Seeing Somebody
Sexual Orientation
Rose ) ( Pansexual
Wand
Knotted 12 Inch Swishy Ivy Wand with Phoenix Tail Feather Core
Age
8/2032 (16)
Kauri didn't know quite how to process the guilt he felt over the revelation in the Great Hall. He had let himself detach from what he knew, let himself think it wasn't any of his business, that surely it had just been a one-off, he didn't have any responsibility to anyone else Tristan may date. It was clear now, that that had been a naïve and foolish view to take. There was a lot of guilt to stomach, over what he had let happen to October. And thinking about it, what he had let happen to the other boy Tristan had been seeing. Kauri didn't know much about the boy, had only ever seen him by Tristan's side, but it seemed clear enough that this situation had been damaging to him as well. Kauri was trying to figure out what to do about all this, and he knew apologising to the Head Girl needed to be high on his list, but he needed some time to collect his thoughts and figure out what to say first. So he was just... pacing the corridors, turning the entire situation over in his mind.

Kauri was distracted from his pacing by the sound of crying from a nearby classroom, and his head snapped in its direction at once. If someone was upset he wanted to make sure that they were okay, and helping someone out would be a good distraction from the guilt he felt. Kauri opened the door before it had even occurred to him that the crying may be related to the tumultuous scene he had just witnessed. There was Tristan though, hands pressed to his eyes, clearly crying. A cold, mean part of Kauri just wanted to close the door again, leave Tristan to it, but he was here now, and there was no walking away. Kauri closed the door softly behind himself, locking it so nobody else would stumble on Tristan like this, and made his way over to the older boy, sitting down next to him and gently offering Tristan the packet of tissues he kept in his pocket. "That... was rough." Kauri said softly, not sure what else he could say.
 

Tristan Collins

🖋️Two-faced | Ambitious | 7th Year | Charming🖋️
 
Messages
1,221
OOC First Name
Daphne
Blood Status
Muggleborn
Relationship Status
Single
Sexual Orientation
Bisexual
Wand
Curly 11 Inch Swishy Ash Wand with Kelpie Hair Core
Age
3/2031 (17)
Tristan tensed up when the door opened, and he froze in place with his hands pressed to his eyes. He hoped that whoever it was would take the hint and leave. He had suffered enough humiliation for one day without being seen crying on his own. But he could hear the door lock and someone approach, and reluctantly looked up when the person sat down next to him. He wasn't surprised it was Kauri. Somehow, that felt inevitable. He looked from him to the packet of tissues and back at him, wary. "Why are you here?" He asked, his voice shaky from the suppressed tears. "Don't pretend you ... you didn't enjoy that." He added bitterly, averting his gaze from Kauri.
 

Kauri Tipene

positive 💛 helpful 💛 6th yr 💛brotherhood pres💛
 
Messages
640
OOC First Name
Rowan
Blood Status
Muggleborn
Relationship Status
Seeing Somebody
Sexual Orientation
Rose ) ( Pansexual
Wand
Knotted 12 Inch Swishy Ivy Wand with Phoenix Tail Feather Core
Age
8/2032 (16)
Kauri hadn't expected Tristan to be especially excited to see him, but he was surprised by the accusation he was greeted with. Kauri didn't withdraw the packet of tissues, wiggling it slightly in Tristan's direction as he spoke. "Of course I didn't enjoy that. I don't like seeing people hurt." Kauri sighed, glancing at Tristan's face for a second before looking away. "I... you don't need me to tell you what you did was wrong. I'm just here with tissues." For all the things he was angry at Tristan for - the cheating, the arguments, the insults - Kauri didn't like to see anyone hurting, and knew he couldn't just walk away without at least trying to help. And it felt... almost poetic, in a way. Tristan had seen him at his lowest, his weakest and most hurt, and somehow it felt as though it had brought them full circle, seeing Tristan feeling the same. Unlike that day so many years ago though, Kauri wanted to do what he could to make things better, trying to figure out what he could say.
 

Tristan Collins

🖋️Two-faced | Ambitious | 7th Year | Charming🖋️
 
Messages
1,221
OOC First Name
Daphne
Blood Status
Muggleborn
Relationship Status
Single
Sexual Orientation
Bisexual
Wand
Curly 11 Inch Swishy Ash Wand with Kelpie Hair Core
Age
3/2031 (17)
Tristan snatched the pack of tissues from Kauri's hands as he wiggled them at him, mostly to make him stop. He angrily tore one out of the packet and dabbed at his eyes. "Of course you don't." He muttered bitterly. Kauri was too perfect to enjoy that, of course. Tristan wondered if he was ever going to get sick of his own perfect act, though it was becoming more and more doubtful that it was an act. "You think I deserve it though." He told him, challenging him to say anything negative. He wanted to hear Kauri say it, to hear him condemn him. Not even he could spin this in any positive way, could he? Tristan realized he needed Kauri to be angry with him, to yell or to tell him he had been horrible. If Kauri was just here to help him, he didn't... he didn't know how to deal with that. Surely, surely, he was here to rub it in. "Don't you? Just say it."
 

Kauri Tipene

positive 💛 helpful 💛 6th yr 💛brotherhood pres💛
 
Messages
640
OOC First Name
Rowan
Blood Status
Muggleborn
Relationship Status
Seeing Somebody
Sexual Orientation
Rose ) ( Pansexual
Wand
Knotted 12 Inch Swishy Ivy Wand with Phoenix Tail Feather Core
Age
8/2032 (16)
Kauri could hear the bitterness in Tristan's voice, and though a bitter, angry part of him longed to respond in agreement, Kauri thought about it for a long moment, determined to choose his words more carefully. "I think... that the people you hurt deserve better." He said slowly, looking at Tristan. "And I think you... I think you needed to learn from this. But it doesn't... make me happy that you're hurting. And I don't think you should have to hurt alone, even if I don't think you deserve forgiveness either." Kauri finished, looking at Tristan. He didn't know if he would ever really be able to forgive the other boy, and he imagined there were plenty of other people who felt the same. Still, seeing Tristan this hurt didn't bring the kind of vindicating joy the bitter part of Kauri had sometimes imagined it would. Maybe once he saw Tristan changing, making amends, maybe then Kauri would be able to put down the hurt feelings. For now though, he knew that was more likely to happen if Tristan saw kindness was still possible, rather than being met with more bitterness and hurt. So he sat with the other boy, resting a hand gently on Tristan's shoulder.
 

Tristan Collins

🖋️Two-faced | Ambitious | 7th Year | Charming🖋️
 
Messages
1,221
OOC First Name
Daphne
Blood Status
Muggleborn
Relationship Status
Single
Sexual Orientation
Bisexual
Wand
Curly 11 Inch Swishy Ash Wand with Kelpie Hair Core
Age
3/2031 (17)
Tristan was silent as he listened to Kauri, determinedly not looking at him. Even though he had expected worse words from Kauri, the first thing he said made Tristan wince a little. The idea that he had hurt multiple people had never really occurred to him, as he had only registered Vivian's pain. He scoffed when Kauri went on that he needed to learn from this, and that seeing him hurting didn't make him happy. "Sure." He mumbled. "Because you're so perfect." He hunched over a little, though he didn't remove the hand Kauri had on his shoulder. "How do you keep this act up?" He mumbles. "Don't you ever get tired of pretending to be everyone's friend? To always be so positive?" It was easier to focus on Kauri than on what had happened, though Tristan still didn't look at him. He crumpled up the tissue in his hands.
 

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