Heartbroken

S

Sam Prince

Well-Known Member
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OOC First Name
Louise
Wand
Black Walnut/ Maple Wand 12 3/4" Essence of Silver Thistle
Sam entered the dungeons no matter how much he hated them. He knew it was dangerous him being a Hufflepuff and all. But he needed to see Toni. Right now he was calm, in shock mostly. The anger wasn't unleashed yet. He paced around the dungeons for any sight of a Slytherin so he could ask them for Toni. His hands were by his sides. Eventually he sighed and leaned against the dungeons wall. He wasn't going anywhere without speaking to her.
 
Toni was in the Slytherin common room relaxing by the fire. Bored out of her mind at the fact that no one was around. Maybe she just needed a bit of time alone. "Who am I kidding" Toni said to herself rolling her eyes as the statement. When did Toni ever need to not be surrounded by people. It was always so boring by oneself and Toni couldn't stand that at all.

Humming a little tune, not actually singing, Toni walked up to the dorm to make sure she looked presentable for the outside world of everyone not in the dungeons. Thinking about the last time that she actually sung made her smile yet at the same time want to frown. Brushing her hair once and deciding that she was good, Toni walked out of the dorm and into the dungeons.

Walking out of the common room, Toni noticed Sam right away. she wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not. "Hey" She said smiling though inside she couldn't help but shake a feeling of worrying "You know the dungeons probably isn't the best place for a hufflepuff" Toni said teasing as she walked over to him.
 
Sam stood away from the wall abruptly. Toni was there. He didn't hug her, smile, wave. His face was serious. His hands by his side. He looked into her eyes. He still couldn't believe it. "Is it true?" he asked her hoping she knew what he was talking about. "Why didn't you tell me this." Sam asked her, his voice was calm and steady. He didn't move closer to her or move away. He stood still.
 
Toni was taken back for a moment wondering what was up with Sam. The smile being wiped right off her face in an instant. Looking into her eyes she knew something was wrong. Though the three first words he said almost left Toni's mouth open. Though luckily she just kept her face blank Remain calm. He's talking about something else Toni thought in denial.

"Is what true? What didn't I tell you?" Toni asked hoping for the answer to be something stupid and not what Toni really thought it was going to be.
 
Sam raised an eyebrow, "You know what I'm talking about." he said slowly his eyes looking into hers though not out of affection. "Did..you.." it was hard to say it, really hard, almost painful. "Cheat on me." he said it. Though when he said the words his hands balled into fists. The pain in his side was still there, it felt like it would never leave.
 
Toni's stomach dropped when Sam said this. Right away she knew that Jenna had said something. God couldn't that dumb Hufflepuff keep her stupid mouth shut Toni thought angerly though she showed no anger on her face. She didn't know what to show. "Umm" She began not knowing what else to say.

Looking down at her feet for a moment and shuffling her feet a few times, before looking up not able to look Sam in the eyes. She just had to look passed him. "I'm sorry" Toni said simply. "It really wasn't anything really" She said her voice sad, filling bad that Sam had to find out the way he did.
 
Sam watched as she looked down at her feet. Jenn was right. The pain in his side was worse than ever. He inhaled deeply. "Your sorry? You think thats going to make things better? Fix everything?" He asked her coming closer. She didn't look sorry,, not at all. "Why didn't you tell me?" his voice was louder not caring if all the slytherins heard. "I have to find out from Jenn. Toni?!--" He stopped his sentence there. "Who was it?" he asked slowly his voice lower.
 
Toni wished she could just make everything better. Was she really sorry that it happened? No. Was she sorry that she could posssible ruin Sam and her relationship? yes. Was she sorry that she was hurting Sam? Yes It just didn't all fit. She just didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry" Toni repeated her voice soft. "I didn't want you to find out, not like this, not by her" Toni said when saying the word her her voice grew in distaste almost hate. How could Jenna possibly tell him. It wasn't Jenna's place at all. It just wasn't right.

As his voice raised, Toni jumped slightly backing up in the slightest as nothing but a reaction. She had never seen him this angry. "I knew that I couldn't fix it so I didn't want to tell you just so you get could get hurt" Toni said not raising her voice. "I didn't want to hurt you" She said her voice soft.

When he asked who with, Toni shook her head. "It doesn't matter." Toni said. She wasn't going to bring Beau into this, it wasn't his fault.
 
Sam looked at her in disbelief. She was calm about everything. As she wouldn't tell him who it was he was going to demand her to tell him. But decided against it. He wasn't going to force her to tell him. "You didn't want me to find out at all? How stupid is that. Our whole relationship would just be based on lies! I can't believe you." His voice was louder now but after a few moments silence he calmed down slightly. "D-do you even regret doing it?" This was a question he didn't know the answer to.
 
Toni looked right down at the ground. She didn't want to see the look in Sam's eyes, the disappointment, the sadness, the angry. In a way Toni wasn't sure if she could take it. All she wanted to do was say she was sorry. She hadn't meant to hurt him. Even as he raised his voice once more Toni tried to tune it out. The loudness making her close her eyes for a moment. This can't be happening Toni thought. Denial was always a good way out of situations like this.

"No I didn't want you to find out" Toni said her voice louder than she had meant it. Bringing her voice down "Our relationship wouldn't have based on lies." She said looking up at him dreading the look he had in his eyes. "It was just a kiss Sam" Toni said holding back any form of tears that wanted to just fall. She wasn't going to cry in front of him if she could help it.

The last question made Toni wince slightly. "It was just a kiss" She repeated. Did he want her to regret a simple kiss? Toni knew he did but she wasn't going to lie. Not anymore "No I don't" She said her voice almost a whisper. A small tear welling up in her eye she held it back. Pushing a piece of her hair behind her ear. "I know this is all so hard but I mean..." Toni cut off. She didn't know what she meant.
 
Sam was tempted to look anywhere but her eyes, but he stayed in contact with them. Sam's jaw clenched and he released his hands from the balled position. "Just a kiss..? Toni! I trusted you, I did. Yeah it was a simple kiss, but you broke our trust. How would you react if I kissed Jenn and you found out about it?" he spat, he knew that would hurt.

When she said those three words, No I don't, Sam bit his lip. He nodded slowly, not knowing what to say.
 
Toni had never picture Sam really finding out. Maybe if she had she would have been more prepared for this. For him flipping out at her, though he had the right. At the comment about Jenna though Toni felt as if something was pushed right through her heart. Sure she had thought about it in the opposite fashion, Sam kissing someone else.

Toni told herself that if that was the case she would forgive Sam. Her thought was that everyone made mistakes. Maybe it was different since Toni did not find it a mistake. Did that make everything different? "I know I know" Toni said shaking her head a bit her voice a bit higher.

"It won't happen again. I know that and Beau knows that" Toni said her head coming to her mouth as she said his name Stupid Stupid Stupid She thought to herself. She hadn't meant to say the name. It just sort of slipped out. The hope was that Sam hadn't noticed. Now that was living in an optimistic world.

Toni looked up at him "I can't say I'm sorry enough. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I betrayed your trust. Ok I'm sorry" Toni said letting a single tear fall from her eyes. Wiping it away quickly she looked down at the ground. God first she hurt Sam and now she looks weak. This day just seemed to be declining
 
Sam could see the hurt in her face. His face didn't move, it was still staring at her. He wanted to unleash his anger but right now there was none. Why was there none? Why couldn't he shout at her?

"Beau?!" Sam said quickly. "I thought you were just...just friends?" Obviously not! he thought bitterly in his head. "Do you like him that way?" He took a step closer his eyes never withdrawing from her. He was terrible at reading girls, but he would be able to tell if she lied to him.
 
Toni sighed. "Don't blame him though" She said quietly. It was never her purpose to even bring up his name. Toni was willing to take all the fault. It was going to be that way anyway. At least Sam had the chance of liking Beau as a friend before Toni opened her big mouth.

"We are just best friends now...that's all" She said making sure it was clear. Sure she almost wanted them to be more but not with all the risks. With all matters she wasnt' sure what was going on or what she wanted. Looking at Sam once more making sure her eyes were free of tears. Don't be weak don't cry Toni thought trying to remain strong.

Toni wanted to just shake her head, but she couldn't. "I know nothing can happen" Toni said her voice shaking a bit though with a deep breath it calmed. "I don't know what I was feeling. Sam it just happened. It means nothing. There is nothing going on between me and Beau." Toni said "You and me are a couple. I know that" She added the sinking feeling that Sam wouldn't want them to be a couple anymore appearing.
 
Sam couldn't take anymore of this. The pain inside was spreading everywhere. It was unbearable he was crushed. Nothing was going on. He tried to keep repeating her words in his head, over and over. But even hearing her voice was hard.

Putting things into perspective yes, it was just a kiss. But his trust was broken. He was definite she could see that in him. As she said they were a couple, he thought about it. Were they? What if he just broke it off now? He looked at her. The pain was blocking the happiness that usually spreads around his body when he sees her. "I..I have...I can't do this now." he shook his head planning on returning to his dorm alone. He turned slowly and began to leave the dungeon.
 
Toni watched as Sam turned to walk away. She was tempted to chase after him. Ask him what this all meant. What were they going to do about it? Would it be possible to forget and forgive? Toni doubted Sam would. She could hope. "Sam" Toni said her voice normal, taking a lot of her energy to keep it stable. She wondered if he turn around. She wondered if he come back and talk to her or if he would just walk up to his dorm forgetting that she was hear.

"Sam" She repeated wondering if the second time saying his name would make a difference
 
As Sam walked away he hoped against hope he wouldn't hear her voice. It would make everything much easier. But she called him. He shook his head and walked on but the second time caught him. He stopped as he held his hand cluctched tightly against the door handle. He didn't turn it wasn't possible right now. He waited for her to say something, give him a reason to stay here in this damp place. A place he would never grow to like. Especially after today.
 
When Sam stopped Toni wondered if it was for the best. Maybe she should have let him go. Maybe they both needed time, but Toni wasn't thinking logically right now. She just wanted to know what was going to happen. What was going to happen between them.

Not knowing what to say, she remained silent for a bit. Wishing that her mind would come up with something helpful to say. Anything would really do. "Do you hate me?" She asked suddenly the thought had been going through her mind but really she didn't know if she wanted to know the answer to the question. Could something this small really make Sam hate her?
 
Sam waited for what seemed like ages until she spoke. He thought about her question. He wanted to say yes, badly. But that was probably just to get her back. He turned to her. She was far away from him, but not far enough that he could tell, he didn't hate her. He shook his head though it was a small shake barely noticeable. "No." His voice was croaky as if he hadn't talked in weeks. "I can't hate you. Its not possible." he gave a small smile, though the pain still wasn't gone. It showed no sign of leaving him. "I'm just mad at you." he looked down at the ground.
 
Finally Sam turned around. The fact that he said no, that he said he didn't hate her made her want to smile even the slightest. Though Toni didn't. She keep her face emotion-less. Listening as Sam said he was just mad. That was understandable. "Understandable" Toni said almost as if she was thinking aloud.

"Do you think you just need a bit of time" Toni asked she was going to add until this whole thing blew over, but Toni knew that those words would not do her any good.
 
Sam thought about it, Did he need time? Of coarse he would forgive her. But could he trust her again? If she had already kissed she could kiss him again. They were with each other most of the time. Sam's eyes were still drawn to the floor, following a few tiny spiders scuttling past. "I dunno.." His voice was still croaky and broken. "How can I trust you..again. How do I know wheter or not you lie to me everyday?" He finally forced his eyes to hers. He needed some good advice right now. Girls were usually good at those things but all the girls he knew hated Toni.
 
Toni waited for Sam to speak her thoughts rushing around so fast they all become a blur. Not thinking about just one thing she decided just to wait for Sam to speak, to say something that would hopefully be comforting. Though as she finally heard his voice he seemed just as confused. He didn't know if he needed time. His was still standing here in the cold dungeons so he must want to talk this out either that or he hadn't quite yet got all the anger out.

How can he trust me Toni thought. She wasn't sure if she had the answer to that. There was really no sure way that he would know she wasn't going to tell him a lie. Toni didnt' know how he would know that she wasn't going behind his back and breaking his trust once more.

"Trust is a funny thing" Toni said her voice soft. "Hard to build up but so easy to break" She continued her eyes glancing at the wall behind Sam not able to make eye contact right away. "You are just going to have to believe me" Toni said knowing that it would be harder than it sounded. She wondered if he would be able to trust her again. Hopefully he would.
 
Sam's face was just as unemotional as hers. His pain died down the tinest bit. Though he was sure tonight, it would infuriate him once more. "Trust is funny." he agrred. "Though since it takes long for it to build up. Why break it?" he questioned, no matter how much Jenn or Hoshi had slated Toni he never gave up on her. But now he wondered why he didn't listen to them.
 
Toni let a small smile appear on her face if only it did flash on there to soon disappear. She wondered what he was thinking about. Usually Toni was rather good at reading people but not in this situation. Maybe she just didn't want to really know.

Why did she break his trust? The question had gone through Toni's head a few times ever since the time. Each time she was unable to answer it. She didn't know if she just wanted to see what it would happen if Beau and her crossed the line of friendship even for that one moment. Maybe she wanted to see if Sam and her could stand as much as they claimed at the start. She wasn't sure what made her break the trust. Though Toni knew she would have to have an answer. I don't know wasn't going to cover it right now.

"It's not like I thought that day when I woke up that I wasn't going to go out and break all the trust you had in me" Toni said. She hadn't even known Beau liked her until that one point. "I wish I had an answer but I don't" Toni said finally "I dont' know why I did ruin the trust but I did" She continued. There was no point denying that fact. Whether or not Sam was ever going to trust her again was up to him.
 
Sam blinked twice, "I know you didn't just decide to do. But you obviously kissed him back." he looked away quickly. "Yeah, you did break it." Sam scowled. Yep, here was the pain again. He looked around the dungeon. He was so close to the door. He turned around once more. "Toni, I have to think about this. I can't look at you or think about you right now." he knew that was an almost impossible objective. "I'm.." he stoppedwhat he was saying. He turned swiftly to the door and pulled it open letting light into this lifeless dim place. "Goodbye." he said still not turning around. Her face kept appearing in his head he blinked hard and left the dungeons
 
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