Finally Honest

[Kyle Alcott-Ward]

((Carries on from Farewell Surprises))

The girls were gone, away on the train for the year at Hogwarts, and Kyle and Matt had returned to Kyle's house for a conversation he had never expected to happen the way it was. He had spent two years now trying to figure out how to tell Matt who he was, and it had never once crossed his mind that his boyfriend might be a wizard too. Kyle began to walk through to the kitchen to make them tea out of habit, before realising he no longer had to, and flicked his wand instead to turn the kettle on for a cuppa before turning to Matt.

"So... this is strange." He smiled nervously, trying not to think too hard about the subject he still had to bring up with Matt. It had to happen today, Kyle had decided early on that telling Matt the truth was an all-or-nothing situation, and the change in circumstances didn't change that. Magic being a dealbreaker was no longer an issue, but all Kyle's fears that being a werewolf would be had increased tenfold. Matt could easily hold all sorts of prejudices, and this could be the end of everything they had built.

 

[Professor Matt Alcott-Ward]

Matt felt a little bit bad about being unable to focus on April's departure with the whole Kyle reveal happening. But it was all he could think about. Maybe it was better this way, at least he wouldn't be too focused on how far away she was. Well, he would never be too far removed as he had been approved as a Professor. The news was still so fresh that he kept forgetting it, but he was very excited to teach at the school. It did create one more problem, one more secret to tell Kyle. But after finding out he was a wizard, everything else seemed small. He had been lying about his job for two years already.

Still, he could see Kyle was nervous like he was still waiting for some other shoe to drop. Matt felt a bit relieved now that it was all out in the open, but he knew his boyfriend well enough to see that something was still on his mind. "It is strange." He said, giving him a small smile. "But it's also a relief, isn't it? No more lies."

 

[Kyle Alcott-Ward]

Kyle couldn't help an awkward, nervous laugh at Matt's words. Yeah. No more lies... taking a deep breath, he took Matt's hands and led him over to the sofa, sitting down with him gently. This... had to be it, no lies or secrets between them. Heart racing in his chest, Kyle squeezed Matt's hands. "It's... no more lies, yeah... I don't want us to be keeping secrets from each other anymore, so... there's one more thing I haven't told you yet, and it's big." He took a long shaky breath, looking down. "I'll understand, if... if this is too much. If you don't want to be with me because of it."

Slowly dragging his eyes back up to meet Matt's, Kyle squeezed his hands nervously as he finally let the words escape his mouth. "I'm a werewolf." He said shakily, and rushed to keep talking, terrified of Matt's reaction. "I was... bitten when I was thirteen, it's why I took time away from Hogwarts, and why my acting career never happened, it's why I've avoided things getting more serious between us, and..." He shook his head, looking down again nervously, not wanting to see the fear and hatred he was scared would be filling Matt's eyes. "It's under control, I take wolfsbane, but... I know this is a lot. I'm sorry..."

 

[Professor Matt Alcott-Ward]

Matt eyed his boyfriend a little warily when he laughed nervously at Matt's words about no more lies. He could see there was something else going on with him, and he felt a knot form in his stomach at the expression on his face. He knew his boyfriend well enough now, to know this had to be serious. He let himself be led to the sofa and looked at Kyle as he talked. It startled him to hear him say he would understand if he didn't want to be with him anymore because of it. What could possibly be that big? They had been together for two years already.

But before he could say that nothing would do that, Kyle told him. Matt's eyes widened and he felt his heart drop. A werewolf? He heard Kyle say more but he couldn't really react to any of it. He knew about werewolves, obviously, but he had never met one. How could his own partner be one without him knowing? He'd been around April!

But no, he had to be logical about this. Kyle was Kyle. And he said he took wolfsbane. It wasn't unsafe. Was it? Did werewolves react differently any other time of the month when they weren't transformed? He didn't know. He didn't know enough about this and he hated that feeling. His mouth went dry and it took him a few tries to respond. "What?" Was his first reaction. "How.. how could you not have told me?" Of course he knew why, but it was still his gut reaction. "Were you ever dangerous when you were near April?" That's what he kept coming back to in his head, had he let his daughter be around someone that could have hurt her?

 

[Kyle Alcott-Ward]

The fear in Matt's eyes was like a kick to the gut. Of course this was too much. Kyle had loved being with Matt, loved pretending someone could know who he was and love all of him, but this was... going to be the end. His body was so tense he felt brittle, like glass cracked through, a breath away from shattering. All the happiness they had built together was about to end, just another aspect of Kyle's life torn away from him by the wolf. Matt's question hit him like a dagger and he shook his head urgently. "Never!" He said fast, starting to tremble. "Matt, I wouldn't ever... I take wolfsbane and lock myself in a cage in the basement, for October's safety, and she's never allowed friends over on the full moon, I promise, I've done everything to keep the girls safe. I've never put either of you or October in any danger..." The tears were close to spilling from Kyle's eyes now but he forced them back, not wanting to get weepy and guilt Matt into staying if this was a step too far for him.

 

[Professor Matt Alcott-Ward]

Matt felt an incredible conflict of emotions. A part of him wanted to reach out to Kyle and hug him, reassure him that things would be okay. He couldn't stand the sadness and fear in Kyle's eyes. But what he was saying was so big, it was so... so much. He found it hard to form a coherent thought, let alone comforting words.

Kyle's immediate reaction to Matt's question managed to reassure him somewhat. Of course he was safe. Kyle would never harm October, he knew that. But he thought he knew Kyle would never harm anyone, and how could he know that for sure now? If he forgot to take his potion one day... But he wouldn't be that irresponsible, would he? Matt would trust Kyle with his life. But trusting him with this felt new and scary. But if he had been a werewolf since he was thirteen then he would know how to live safely with it. He felt a pang of pity as he realized just how young Kyle had been when this happened. He could imagine him as a young boy so easily, and he couldn't imagine how he had survived all this.

He put his face in his hands to avoid eye contact with his partner, he just didn't know what to say or what to do. "I'm sorry." He said softly. "Just.... just give me a moment, Kyle. It's a lot to process."

 

[Kyle Alcott-Ward]

Kyle's stomach twisted with nerves, watching Matt's expression shift as he thought about things. He could tell this was difficult and painful for Matt to consider, and he hated every moment of it. All of Kyle's past dread of this conversation no longer felt as though it had been enough, for how hard this was, how much it seemed to have hurt Matt. A small part of Kyle wished he had been able to tell Matt from the beginning, but a bigger, more sensible part of him knew that even if he had known Matt was a wizard from day one, their relationship likely never would have begun if Matt had already known this.

Kyle fought back a wince as Matt turned away and hid his face, terrified that this was really going to be it, this was going to be too much for him. Looking away too, Kyle nodded. "It's okay." He said shakily, unable to keep the tears out of his voice. "If... I understand if this is too much, I really do. I'm not... I don't want you to... to stay in a situation t-that's... that you don't feel safe in..."

 

[Professor Matt Alcott-Ward]

Matt regretted looking away from Kyle the moment he did it, because it did nothing to make him feel less bad. He could still picture the sad look in his eyes very well. He knew that Kyle was nervous and scared, with good reason. Most people would shun anyone for being a werewolf, let alone what they would do if they found out after two years of dating. But Matt had always considered himself tolerant and open-minded. He knew that a werewolf was only different during the full moon, that it wasn't like Kyle was a different person, but he still felt like it was going to be all different now.

But when Kyle started to say how he would understand if he would break up with him, he looked up at his boyfriend again. A small frown appeared on his face. "Don't say that." He said firmly. "We have been together for a long time, I love you. Don't think I will dismiss you like what we have is nothing just like that. I recognize that you told me as soon as you were able." Which was true, he admired Kyle for saying it so soon after the reveal that they were both from the magical world. It seemed like thinking that Matt was a muggle had been the only thing to hold Kyle back from being truthful. "As long as you never put April in any danger, we can ... we can manage things." He said, his voice faltering near the end. "That's the only thing I won't compromise about."

 

[Kyle Alcott-Ward]

Kyle stared down at his knees, clasped hands trembling. It had been so long since he had told anyone, he had forgotten the deep, clawing fear at the core of his stomach, scratching its way up through his chest and rendering his whole body numb and frozen with tension. Though logically, Kyle knew the worst Matt could legally do was leave him, his mind couldn't help but cycle irrationally through every history book he head read about townsfolk ganging up to murder werewolves in their midst. The fear ran deep, and it was hard to think of anything else.

The relief Matt's words sent rushing through Kyle like a warm waterfall, unfreezing his joints locked by fear. "Of course." He said shakily, trembling hands quickly wiping away another tear. "Of course, I would never, ever put either of you in any danger. That's my first priority. I've never missed a dose of wolfsbane, it's... hurting someone is my biggest fear, I never want to... do any harm, or pass this on. I promise, April's never been in any danger around me, and she never will be."

 

[Professor Matt Alcott-Ward]

Matt actually managed a weak smile at his boyfriend's words, feeling relief even though he was still tense with the shock of the news. He knew he was going to take a while to adjust to this, a long while, but he also knew deep inside his heart that they were going to be okay. He had meant it when he said that April's safety was the one thing he wouldn't make any compromises on. He knew that this subject was one they would discuss a lot, he was going to let Kyle talk about all the secrets he had to hide that came with this for hours and would show his support. He just didn't feel quite ready for that just now. He had a lot of processing to do first. He took Kyle's hand and squeezed it. "Give me some time to get used to it." He said softly. "That's all I ask. We'll stay together, now that everything is out in the open, we can move on together."

He had been planning to tell Kyle something as well, but after his reveal it would sound silly. Matt wouldn't be Matt, however, if he didn't try to keep the mood light with jokes. The heavy conversations would happen later. Right now, they needed to heal from the shock. "So uh, I have an announcement as well. It's going to be sound a bit silly after all this, and I really do want to talk more about this Kyle... when I've had some time. But I wanted to tell you I got a new job."