Closed Feelings

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava sat in the Accio room, waiting for Vader to finish his deliveries. The dance was in an hour and she knew he would be back here at least once more before going. She was already dressed, ready to go. If she went. She hadn't decided. She sat on one of the tables, leaning against the wall. There was a small stack of notes next to her. She'd been receiving them for a little while now. I miss you. I want to hear your giggle again. I miss seeing your sweet smile. Forgive me. They each read something similar, and there were nearly two dozen. She sighed, folding another paper flower and placing it in the open jar next to her. The thing was almost full now. She had started it a while ago, writing little thoughts on the colored paper before folding it and dropping it in. She took out another paper, a soft pink, wrote a note, and began to fold. She wished Vader would hurry back. She needed to see him before she decided anything.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader had been finishing up with some of the work he had that day, it was always such a busy time for him, so he had tried to make the most of the day, splitting time between different things, making sure to not get too lost in the rose giving, in the accio work or the studying he had. Eventually with the time towards the dance approaching, he knew he needed to get ready for that. He walked into the accio room and was a little surprised to see Ava sat in the room. ”hey Helene,” though it was a surprise there was a lot of warmth in his tone, he was surprised to see her, ”Thanks for your rose, did you get mine?” he then asked, he could sense that things weren’t quite perfect but he didn’t know what it was and perhaps she would just want to ignore it, ”Do you have a date for tonight? Maybe we could go together?” he meant it platonically of course and knew that she would know that too. ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava looked up when she heard Vader enter the room. "Hey Timmy," She greeted softly, carefully folding her paper flower. She bit her lip, letting her hair cover her face. "I... don't know yet," She admitted quietly. "I was waiting for you, actually," She started with a small smile, watching her hands as she folded the paper. "Somethings... happening and I wanted to talk to you," She shrugged nonchalantly, acting like it wasn't a big deal when she was silently freaking out.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader looked at her when she spoke, greeting him with a tone that was quiet. He put down his things and crossed the room to her. Something had happened, and he was sure that it couldn’t be that good. He smiled at her encouragingly, hoping that she would tell him what it was, though Ava had always managed to be honest with him even when he couldn’t be honest with her. ”What happened?” he asked. He had to hope it was nothing too bad, that she was just needing to talk to someone, her and that boy had just broken up and she had been quite upset about it. ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava sighed as Vader came over. "Philip," she replied softly. "Hes sending me notes. Saying hes sorry, he misses me, things like that. He wants to meet at the dance. I'm still going with you," she clarified. "I... don't know but I think... I'll at least see what he has to say this time." She shrugged, dropping the paper flower into the jar as she finished folding it and turning so she was sitting on the edge of the table. She held up her arms, curling her fingers a few times to try and beckon Vader over for a hug. She just needed one, she felt really vulnerable with Philip trying to talk to her again so soon after Tyler's rejection.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader nodded along as she said she was getting notes from Philip. He was a little surprised by this, it had been a while since she’d spoken of him or since he’d reached out to her. He wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it, but given the words from that girl Kira he was a little unsure. He looked at the paper flower, but in stead of focusing on that he approached her and gave her the hug that she wanted. Letting him wrap his arms around her. She deserved to just be loved and to be happy. He knew he could love her in a certain way but not in the way she really wanted to be loved. ”It’s okay, maybe he means well?” the boy said to her, he couldn’t be sure, he didn’t want to say that he didn’t trust him, if Ava trusted him, then he would too. ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava sighed softly, laying her head on his shoulder. She always felt better when he was close. "I doubt it," she murmured. "I don't trust him." She was quiet a moment, thinking it over. "I'll see what he wants then I'll come find you." She decided. "If... he wants what I think he does..." she bit her lip. "I dont trust him. But I dont trust myself around him either. If he really wants back in my life... he has to have your approval first," she squeezed Vader a moment in her arms before leaning back to look at him, blue eyes full of uncertainty. "Is... is that okay?"

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader listened as she spoke, he wasn’t sure what to make of it, he’d never felt that way towards anyone, there was always such a clear thought in his mind with his own relationships. He just nodded, ”Okay,” it was an odd thing to agree to, but he’d be willing to do it. He’d be willing to do what she wanted to help, but he also didn’t want to let his own opinion of him, the situation and what he’d heard from Kira cloud it too much. He’d never really interacted with Philip aside from through Ava. He hadn’t been particularly nice towards Vader in that time, but it was mostly just from what he’d done to Ava that his currently judgment was. But if that was what she wanted, for him to give approval he would. He hoped he’d just do it right. ​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava sighed in relief, laying her head on Vaders shoulder. It was at that moment that Elios words came back to her. She pulled back, looking at Timmy again. "Timmy? I was talking to Zephyr today, about everything," she hesitated. "You know you're my soul mate, dont you? I know we arent ever going to be... more than us now, but I dont want that." She reached out, brushing his hair back. "No one will ever mean more to me than you do. You're my person, my other half, and I want to make sure you know that." She bit her lip, smiling at him.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader froze a little when Ava said she’d been talking with Elio, he didn’t know why, but he just always felt nervous about being talked about. He was nervous about what everything meant, but it was Ava and he trusted her whole heartedly. He looked at her as she began talking about soulmates, he was initially a little confused by how she meant, he was sure that soulmate was supposed to mean something romantic, it had always meant something romantic before whenever he’d heard it, but the way she was talking about it was purely platonic. He didn’t really know what to say, he cared about Ava, he knew he could always trust her, rely on her, help her, that she was his go to person, that he loved her but did that mean soulmate? ”I’ve never thought about it like that,” he told her honestly, it was odd for him to think about, to know what it meant, ”I love you too Ava,” was what he said finally, still clearly in his head trying to figure through the words and what that meant, what that meant for him.​

 

[Avaria Lockwood]

Ava hesitated at Vader's words, surprised by his hesitation. But... Elio had talked about Rowan being his other person. And Vader was her other person. Between Tyler, the twins birth, and the entire ordeal with Philip that was happening that night, the slight sting of rejection that she felt was amplified by who it had come from. She had thought he would return her sentiment, tell her they were just best friend soul mates, and to hear him avoid it entirely... it made her already broken heart throb painfully. "Oh..." She managed softly, glancing away. "That... that's good then," She murmured, shoulders slumping a little. "I should... finish getting ready for the dance. I'll see you there," She spoke quietly, feeling deflated as she avoided his gaze. She picked up her things and moved to slip past him, trying not to look to put out.

 

[Vader Hume]

Vader had the feeling as soon as the words were out his mouth and as he looked at her, that it hadn’t been what she’d expected him to say, he watched as she made a quick excuse and then left quickly. He sighed heavily, he hated that he had likely hurt her. He couldn’t yet explain to her why, what he'd meant. It was difficult enough to be honest with her in the first place about his own feelings, he didn’t know if it would be good for him to be her soulmate. Vader sighed and felt himself slide down in his seat. He couldn’t admit it, but he’d hurt her. She deserved better than him. He always let her down. He always said things she didn’t want to hear, he had known ever since their fight and when they made up that he would always let her down, let her down by lying or in this case by not thinking the same as her between them. He wasn’t in the same point in his life as she was. He couldn’t explain to her why without opening a box he wasn’t sure he wanted to open yet. He sighed and got to his feet, there was work for him to do. ​