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| What the Future Holds; *closed* | |
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| Topic Started: Apr 7 2018, 05:25 PM (225 Views) | |
| *Professor Monty Pendleton | Apr 7 2018, 05:25 PM Post #1 |
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Inventor • Potions Professor 1-4 Adoptive Father • Deputy Head
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[adminapproval=30535149]The first place Monty had been summoned upon his release from the hospital wing was Professor Alicastell's office. He stood rigidly outside her door, head bent, eyes closed, searching for the courage to knock. It was peculiar - feeling no symptoms of anxiety, but overcome with a numb, hollow sort of terror that gripped his insides and refused to let go. Pleasant as it was not to exist in a constant state of fear, Monty wasn't going to be sad when the nurses allowed him to stop taking his potions. The emptiness was almost worse than the chaos. A rumble of voices drifted from around the end of the corridor. Soon, the floor would be flooded with students returning from lunch, and Monty had no desire to be caught in the stampede. Steeling himself, he knocked on Katherine's door, praying it would open before the children came and attacked him with questions he wasn't quite yet ready to answer. |
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| ~Professor Katherine Alicastell | Apr 8 2018, 02:51 AM Post #2 |
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Hogwarts Headmistress Wizengamot Interrogator
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[justify]The Collapse had been a stressful ordeal for the school, not just the deputy headmaster who had fainted, but also some of the staff and students who were there to witness the harrowing event. A professor collapsing in the middle of the school was no doubt shocking for many of them to see, as a person in authority they were supposed to be able to look up to and find safety in. Montgomery was popular among the student body, and the headmistress had received quite a handful of owls from concerned parents with questions about what had happened, questions Katherine still didn't entirely have all the answers to. In fact, she still wasn't even entirely sure why, or how the potions professor passing out had ended with a Gryffindor prefect being assaulted, as it seemed entirely unrelated, and yet it had occurred as a result. Katherine had said little to Pendleton since he'd been admitted into the hospital wing, looking to give him time to recover. It wasn't until he had been released that she called for him to her office to really talk about him, and what had happened. She was concerned for him, as she would be concerned for any of her staff if they were in the same position, but almost equally, she was concerned for the school, and needed to make sure they were on the same page going forward. When the knock came, Katherine glanced up from the paperwork on her desk, and tapped her wand in the direction of the door. The silver scales adorning its wood tipped toward the lock, and with a click the latch upulled itself back and the door swung wide open. "Montgomery. Please, come in. Take a seat." The woman said, rising briefly from her seat to gesture toward one of the chairs opposite her desk. "Before I say anything else. How are you feeling?" She could only assume better, since he'd been deemed well enough to leave the wing, but she wanted to hear it from him. [/justify] |
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| *Professor Monty Pendleton | Apr 8 2018, 08:43 AM Post #3 |
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Inventor • Potions Professor 1-4 Adoptive Father • Deputy Head
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Monty took a involuntary step backwards as the latch clicked and the door swung open. He knew exactly why the Headmistress had asked to see him, and as he stepped inside, he felt more like a disobedient student than her Deputy. Had he ever felt like her Deputy? He admired Katherine, and was happy to work alongside her, but their relationship had never felt entirely sincere. Monty knew this was his fault. At the slightest chance of failure or humiliation, rather than approaching Katherine for help, he had raised around himself a wall, severing communication so that she would not realise he was struggling. For all the good that had done. Doing as he was told, Monty took a seat at Katherine's desk, hands clasped together in his lap. How was he feeling? A bit numb. Apprehensive. But certainly not tired, or scared. The potions were taking care of that. What he suspected Katherine really wanted to know was whether he felt well enough to return to work. "I don't know," he answered honestly. "It's a bit difficult to tell at the moment. I think I'm all right, but whether that's me or the potions talking, I can't be sure. I'm certainly feeling better." Monty looked down at his hands, realising that he was going to have to talk about what happened. How could he prove he was feeling better if Katherine didn't know what the matter was in the first place? |
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| ~Professor Katherine Alicastell | Apr 13 2018, 02:01 AM Post #4 |
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Hogwarts Headmistress Wizengamot Interrogator
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[justify]The Headmistress drew in a quiet breath, her lips slightly pursed together in what was far from any feelings of relief. As honest as Montgomery's response was, it wasn't what she had hoped to hear. Uncertainty wasn't reassuring, and better could have still been bad, just a little less so. It may have been the potions as he said, she wasn't entirely sure which he'd had to take since being released, but she could only hope that this wasn't what the healers were considering a full recovery. Better wasn't the best, and she needed the man to be at his best if she were to trust him with the task of being her deputy, and a professor. An ailing authority figure was not what the students needed. "I see. That's good to hear." Katherine said after a moment, silently exhaling her held breath. "I'm sure you already know that isn't the only reason I called you here today. The incident in the entrance hall - I'd like you to tell me about what happened, and why." During his recovery in the Hospital Wing, she'd given him his privacy, and had few details on the exact nature of his condition, though she had her own assumptions, just as the student rumour mill had theirs. She'd briefly spoken to the healers, to check up on how he was doing, but his health was a personal matter, and one she needed to hear from him personally if he were willing to talk about it. Either way, most importantly she needed to know if he was capable to continue handling his positions, or take a step back. [/justify] |
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| *Professor Monty Pendleton | Apr 13 2018, 05:27 PM Post #5 |
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Inventor • Potions Professor 1-4 Adoptive Father • Deputy Head
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Monty nodded, though he was by no means prepared for what he had to do. He had to be honest. He had to stop worrying what Katherine might think - it was far too late for that, anyway - and just tell her the truth. "Yes, I know I ought to have spoken to you sooner," he began. "I take complete responsibility for the way things escalated. I've not been coping well, evidently, and I was afraid that if you realised, you might regret my promotion, and... well, I love this job, you have to understand. I'm absolutely prepared to give it everything I have, and to do my best by you and the pupils." He looked down, shaking his head. "I've always suffered from anxiety, and insomnia. It's never affected my ability to work - until now. I think what happened in the entrance hall that day was an unfortunate culmination of anxiety, sleep deprivation, and stress that should have been addressed the moment it began to impair my concentration. It's not exactly the work itself that has been difficult to handle; certainly it has been a contributing factor to my stress, but it isn't the sole factor. I've been dealing with a number of personal anxieties lately, only one or two of which relate directly to my position, and all of which I could have handled by themselves. Everything piled up at once; and by the time I realised I wasn't managing, I'd lost so much sleep that I couldn't think clearly enough to figure out how to solve it. Really, the solution was simple: I should have talked to you, or a nurse, or anybody. But in my sleep-deprived state, I'd absolutely convinced myself the world was ending and there was nothing I could do about it." He looked at Katherine earnestly. "I'm sorry. I understand if you want to reconsider my position. But it isn't what I want. I don't want to give up on this. I've agreed to speak to the school counsellor, and I'm taking potions for my anxiety and insomnia just until I can manage without them again. If I step down now, I'll... I'll have let it win. Obviously there are other considerations; you need a reliable Deputy, and if I'm really not suited to be one, I'll not argue. I just don't want to let the last three months be indicative of the next. I want to know that... if I can't do it, it's because I really can't - not because my anxiety says so. I'm rambling; I'll let you speak." |
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| ~Professor Katherine Alicastell | Apr 17 2018, 11:23 PM Post #6 |
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Hogwarts Headmistress Wizengamot Interrogator
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[justify]Katherine nodded her head in silent agreement as her deputy spoke. Yes, he should have spoken to her sooner. Yes, it should have been addressed the moment it impaired his concentration. The man had a lot of excuses for the way things had gone, that under normal circumstances the Headmistress may not have found entirely acceptable, but she didn't suffer from anxiety, or insomnia, and so she had no reference point for how much more difficult it may have been for Montgomery who did. She couldn't put herself in his shoes and understand it, so she had to trust that it really was as difficult as he said. It was disappointing that he couldn't come and speak to her about any of this, as she was there to help him transition into his new role, and he'd known that. She had tried to make herself as approachable as possible, though understandably that was difficult for other people to see as she could be so formal, but she had thought she'd made it clear she was there to assist him when he needed it. What mattered most was the issue being resolved, and the chance of a repeat to be eliminated. "I have considerd that if this was too much for you, it would be best if you stepped down. Especially after such a public display." Katherine admitted as the man finished speaking. Deputy wasn't a responsibility to be taken lightly, and if he wasn't up to the task, or his health wasn't adequate for the position, then it simply wasn't for him. "But, just as you've said, your performance should be judged based on you, and not your anxiety, or insomnia. I do believe you to be both a capable deputy and trustyworthy member of staff, when you aren't being hindered by your mental health. That is the person I chose for the position. A change does need to happen, progress needs to be made from this point on, and while I'm pleased to hear you'll be speaking to the counsellor and taking potions to help, that won't be enough alone. Communication is vital in your role. You need to be able to speak to me if you are having any troubles coping with your responsibilities. The second you feel overwhelmed, you should feel able to let me know. I need to know I can continue to trust you to handle it." After all, he was the deputy headmaster. The responsibilities weren't just his own. They needed to work together, not apart, and clear communication was absolutely necessary. "Montgomery, what happened in the entrance hall, in front of all those young students - that can never happen again. I need you to promise me that continuing forward." [/justify] |
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| *Professor Monty Pendleton | Apr 21 2018, 05:42 PM Post #7 |
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Inventor • Potions Professor 1-4 Adoptive Father • Deputy Head
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Monty listened quietly, his heart falling as Katherine mentioned his public display. He hardly felt much better when she continued. Few days went by when he wasn't hindered by his mental health in some way or another. Did that mean he would never be cut out for the position? That Katherine would never want him? She mentioned communication, and he nodded firmly. "Absolutely. Yes. Of course," he said. Communication could have resolved all of these problems before they'd escalated, and they would resolve all future problems, if he stuck to his promise. That seemed to be the end of it - until the Headmistress made a comment that felt like a knife being jabbed into his gut. His throat seized up, and he had to blink rapidly in order not to cry. "I know," he said, his voice strained. "Believe me, I never want to put anybody through that again. If I'd known bottling everything up would lead to that, then..." He trailed off. "It isn't going to happen. From now on, I promise you absolute communication, on all matters. Honest communication. I have always maintained that the children come first, and in failing to communicate with you, I made the mistake of putting them second. I realise that now. I also realise how easily I can prevent this happening again." Though his throat was tight with tears, he spoke with determination, and sincerity, Olive's encouraging words spurring him on. Katherine's comment had hurt, but he was only grateful toward her. She still believed in him enough to give him a second chance. All he had to do was talk to her. "I won't let you down." |
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3:38 PM Jul 11