Breathless

Crispin V. Cold

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Wand
Bloodwood Wand 15 1/4" Essence of Phoenix Ash
(cont'd from the YB: Merry Christmas Darling )

"Well at least ... now we can compare... notes on Lily" Crispin nearly didn't answer Andy, not trusting his voice as he stared stonily straight ahead. He spared her an annoyed glance. "What the bloody hell are you on about?" Notes on Lily? How he wished he had access to his grandfather's potions. He'd have her sober and regretting ever having touched the bottle to her lips within moments. He didn't know it was this unfamiliar anger making him think vindictively toward her. Once he cooled down, he'd regret thinking ill of his love, even if she didn't love him in return.
 
Like he didn't know she sighed when he spoke. Looking up over his shoulder behind him she felt even more dizzy as she watched the steps receeding behind them.
"You and Lily" she told him exasperated too, "can't you just put me down already?"
Her speech was still rather slow but not nearly as slurred as it had been, her fingers began to absentmindedly twirl wisps of hair at the base of his neck.
"Why didn't you bring her tonight?" she wanted to say so much more but her head was beginning to pound something awful and she found herself looking out from half closed eyelids once more.
 
Crispin's arms tightened around her, shifting her slightly to get a better grip. She was light for one with an athletic build and her height. "Me and Lily?" He scowled at her then jerked his head straight. Had that been what she'd thought all this time? That he and Lily were an item? "Lily is my friend, Andy. Not," he stressed, "my girlfriend." If he hadn't been fogged by anger he might have begun to hope, to wonder why it mattered to her what another girl was to him.

As he carried them up the flights of stairs, he dared to look into her eyes once more.
"You know where my heart lies." Eyes forward once more, he began to walk faster, cover more ground.
 
His grip tightened on her and she found that her hands instinctively tightened in return around his neck. He spoke, his words still holding an angry tone but her blurred mind could barely comprehend most of what he said. Lily was his friend and Andy was not his girlfriend. Had she heard him right? Of course she wasn't his girlfriend? It wasn't from lack of trying on her part that was for sure.

Crispin turned his head to look at her.
"You know where my heart lies."
Was he now being cryptic? She opened and closed her mouth. The intoxicated brain of the Gryffindor was giggling uncontrollably as it sent warbled messages to her to answer. She reached across with her hand and pointed with her finger at his chest. She may not have studied biology but just because she wasn't a Ravenclaw didn't mean she was stupid, well not completely.

For some reason he began to quicken his pace once more and she sighed. He was in a hurry once more to be rid of her.
"Would you just put me down... here. If you were in... that much of a rush... you shouldn't have... offered to bring me back" it was like a eureka moment going off in her head as she remembered Professor Wolf's words, "oh yeah, you got extra house points. Kudos to you".
She let her hands clap feebly behind his head before holding on to him once more.
 
Crispin remained silent, not speaking until he had reached the sixth floor corridor. Even then he opened his mouth merely to snap it shut and walked passed the student lounge. Then he stopped abruptly and whirled around, ducking into the empty spacious room. Carefully he set her on one of the sofas. Making sure she would remain upright, he hastily backed away and ran his hands through his hair in agitation. The anger was fading, leaving a nasty trail of sadness within him. He didn't like these feelings, wanted to bury them, hide them. He was done with feeling this way. To busy himself, he grabbed a cold bottle of soda from the snack area.

Twisting off the cap with his palm, he knelt in front of Andy.
"It's not coffee, but it has caffeine. Drink," he commanded softly, put it into her hands, keeping one of his over hers so it didn't spill. "Why did you do it Andromeda?"
 
Andromeda's eyes closed as she nestled deeper into his neck, she allowed dreams to briefly take her whispering his name softly but not enough for him to hear. Before she knew it she was being lowered and opening her eyes she looked about her. She did not like how bright the room seemed to be so closed her eyes again and wrapped her arms about her, clad still in his jacket her hands lost in the long sleeves.

Crispin came back to her once more pressing a bottle into her hands and trying to get her to drink it. She let the bottle lift slowly to her mouth and took a sip of the bubbly cold liquid. It went down so much easier than the firewhisky had. She took some more before trying to answer anything. Looking up at him she frowned slightly.

"Why did I do what?" what had she done this time, she hadn't been in trouble since their detention. She had only been having fun tonight, did he mean singing on the stage? She smiled.
"Why did I sing Violently Happy for you? because I love you dopey" she guffawed like it was no big secret, that it was something everyone knew. Taking another drink of the bottle she giggled to herself, holding up a finger she beckoned for him to come closer and though she tried to whisper, it once again failed like so many other times that night.
"Can I tell you a secret? I think I am ... in ... love with Crispin but he doesn't know" there was no reason for her to speak to him in the third person other than her brain was switching down, fried out of whack by the high alcohol content she had consumed, "He loves some one else or I think he does. He... he had his hands all over... Lily. He kisses me but only... " she let out a sigh staring off into the fire talking now as if she were alone with her thoughts.

She tried to sit up but found she couldn't move very far so stayed put instead, drinking a little bit more and grimacing at the taste.
"He only kisses me when we're far from prying eyes. My head hurts" she sighed again rubbing her temples, "I.. think he's ashamed of... me. Embarrassed but I... can't blame him."
 
Crispin's eyes closed, face contorting in pain. His hair, messed up by his rough hands, fell forward as his head lowered. She loved him. All this time and she had loved him, not some nameless, faceless person. She had lied, hid herself from him because it was as he had thought back in the prefects bathroom. She was frightened, of him, of herself, of the love he could give her. Now he knew. It was the most bittersweet pain he'd ever felt. Stabbing at his heart for the time lost, the self recriminations.

Taking the bottle from her hands, he set it behind him on the coffee table.
"No Andy," he murmured, taking her hand in his larger one and kissing her palm. "He isn't ashamed of you." He needed to get away, to think. If she had been sober, telling him of her love for him, he could easily see this scene playing out differently. He would have professed his love for her and kissed her senseless. Maybe spent the evening speaking in quiet tones on this very sofa. But he knew it couldn't be, not yet, not right now. He hated waiting, abhorred it as he'd had to wait so long already.

"I'm going to take you to your house. You need to sleep." Picking her up, he turned toward the door, his lips brushing her forehead.
 
Andromeda heard him and frowned. How would he know? She felt the lips on her hands and gasped at the warmth. Soon she was being picked up and he was telling her that he was going to bring her back to her house. She shook her head, not wanting to go back. Preferring it here, Andromeda wriggled until she was standing in front of him.

"I don't want to go" her voice had a petulant edge to it, she felt as if she could very well throw a little temper tantrum as well but didn't, she pulled his jacket from her and frowned as she did so. The vanishing cream she had used on her werewolf scar was beginning to show again.

Taking a step back she held out the jacket to him.
"Thank you" her amber eyes seemed to encompass him completely for the first time. Drink him in and relish every inch of him. Taking a slightly swaying step forward she put her hands on his shoulders, sliding them down slowly to rest on his chest. Feeling the rise and fall as he breathed. Lifting her face, her mouth was inches from his.

"Do you want your Christmas present now?" she asked him, looking down at his hand and picking it up placed her own hand in side it, "I've only got me to give".
Andromeda let the dregs of the booze spill her feelings, her heart for her where she could not but still she feared he would not accept what she had to give him.
 
Crispin bit back a curse as her wriggling nearly caused him to drop her. His hands splayed near her, waiting for her to catch her balance. Once she did they fell to his sides. His breath caught in his throat, nearly strangling him as she touched him. He stood there as though carved from marble, unable to move, unable to think, her pink lips too close to his. His head lowered, her breath hot against his parted lips. No. Not like this. At the last moment he changed directions, angling to press a gentle kiss to her forehead before stepping back from her. No when he kissed her, she would know it was him and only him who did so.

"You'll come with me now, to your house." His hand in hers, he lead her firmly to the door. Right before they reached the hallway, he turned his head and stated clearly. "You've already given me my present." And she had. Her love. He would wait impatiently throughout the night, most likely unable to sleep, to claim it in the morning.
 
He kissed the top of her forehead for her efforts and she frowned. So that was it then. Sober she offered up herself to him and it wasn't enough, drunk she managed to finally put her feelings into words and still it wasn't enough for him. There was no more she could do, no more she could say but leaving with him now was not an option.

Andromeda was stronger than her slender frame gave her credit for, she pulled her hand away and walked backwards back into the room shaking her head.
"I won't go" she told him very matter of factly, her speech held only the slightest of tinges to it. She knew that if she lay down anywhere now the room would start spinning about her. She had to stay standing, had too to keep focused. He had just turned her down, had brushed her aside as if she weren't worth a damn. Her hand went up to where her heart was while the other rubbed a tear furiously from her eye. She would not give him the pleasure of seeing how much he had upset her. What had she given him already? A good laugh at her expense? no he had been too angry earlier, had seen no mirth in any of her actions. She had given him his jacket back, that certainly couldn't count as a christmas gift. The boy boggled her no end.

As fast as she could she hurried to the end of the sofa, she needed something to block the distance between them.
"I think you should leave. Just leave me stew" she glared at him before picking up a cushion and tossing it at him, "Do you know how damn hard it is to admit how I feel? You are a bloody Slytherin aren't you? Go on pretend that cushion is my bloody heart, stomp on it why don't you!"
She didn't care what her drunken speel roared at him now, he had torn her apart completely.
"Just get the hell out of here!" a sob tore from her as she glared at him looking ridiculously cute in her elf costume.
 
Crispin let out a strangled oath. Damn the girl for being so stubborn, even in her intoxicated state. He wanted to leave now damn it! Turning he crossed his arms over his chest, scowling as she tried to tell him to leave her. As if he would. Leave her here at the mercy of any idiot who happened upon her or to cause herself more humiliation in the morning when she remembered this night. If she remembered. The cushion hit his legs but it wasn't that he felt, only her words. He had hurt her when all he had sought to do was protect her. He stooped, picking up the cushion and carrying it to the sofa, stared into her wet eyes.

"Your love was all I wanted Andromeda." Carefully he replaced it on the sofa until once more it was in place. "Forgive me for wanting to wait until you were more yourself to do this." He drew her to him, his lips covering hers, leading her into a kiss not of passion but of love. It was gentle yet held an intensity he had dared not let her feel from him. His forehead rested against hers, he whispered, "My heart is yours."
 
She grew weary as she regarded his face, coming forward with the cushion in his hand. Visions of him smothering her with it popped into her head and she backed another step away but as he placed the cushion down his words made her stop. Made her frown because she couldn't believe what she was hearing and then before she could move away again he had her in his arms, was kissing her unlike any kiss before.

She closed her eyes and felt not just the feelings behind his kiss to claim her but his words as he rested his forehead against hers. Andromeda wanted nothing more than to believe him, to believe that they had wasted like fools the passed few months. Her hands were around his neck and slowly she moved her head to his shoulder, wanting nothing more now than to stay here in his arms but he wanted her to go back to her house. Why would he want to get rid of her if he cared? Still her inebriated brain would not allow any connection to be made.

His heart was hers, a smile settled peacefully on her face. She turned her face around once more to look up at him then kissed him as well. Hoping that how she felt for him came across just as strongly. Her mouth moved slowly at first but the more she tasted of him, the more she wanted him. Perhaps if she had been sober she would have been able to stop or been more aware of the difference in how she kissed him. She pressed her body clad in the skimpy elf costume to his, moulded herself to him as her hands as if by will of their own began to fumble with the buttons of his shirt.
 
Crispin returned her kiss, letting himself have this one stolen moment with her. Allowing his guards to fall away, for his love to pour out in the way his lips parted hers, deepening the kiss. His hands caressed her back, pulling her more tightly against him. Oh how he loved this girl, his Andromeda. His lips smiled against hers at the mere thought. His Andy. Joy soared within him and for long delicious moments he simply felt, reveling in her touch, her taste, her scent. His shirt was undone halfway before he came back to himself. "Not tonight Andy." His hand stilled hers. She wouldn't know how much it cost him, stopping them now before things went too far. It was soon and now was not the time for this huge step.

His lips took hers again then he was pulling back, keeping her within his arms. His finger crooked under her chin, bringing her gaze to his.
"I'm not rejecting you," he said firmly, the intensity in his eyes backing him up. "When I make love to you, I want you drunk on me, not firewhiskey."
 
Heady with all things Crispin Andromeda's fingers opened each button as their mouths blazed over each others. She loved him so desperately, felt so much craziness welling up inside her like the urge to run right to the North Tower and shout out to everyone that Crispin cared for her. His hands closed around hers stopping her progress, at first she was about to protest but his words were the one thing that sobered her. Embarrassment suffused her cheeks as he said the words 'When I make love to you', not if but when as if it were inevitable. She had not realized that this had been where her hasty actions had been taking her and gasped biting her lip and looking lost as she gazed up at him.

She had waited this long for him and could wait longer again for them to consummate what they had just discovered about one another. His lips on hers sent shivers threw her, he was utterly delicious and hers. A smile came to her lips then, he was hers. Knowing that she would have a thumper of a headache soon, feeling it coming on already she nodded to him.
"I can wait for that" she told him assuredly, "I can wait for anything now".

Moving a step backwards she held her hand out to him.
"The faster I get to bed, the faster I wake up sane and sober and get to see you again right?" she quirked an eyebrow, as if she still wasn't sure. As if questioning him in her state of mind was inevitable until she could fully comprehend it all. This had possibly been the greatest night of her life.
 
Crispin's smile was slow but thoroughly one of the tenderest of love. His long fingers brushed her hair back from her face, palms cupping her cheeks. His touched upon her face. "I'll always be here for you Andromeda." He gathered her into an embrace, not of passion, but of love. Simply breathed her in and counted himself the luckiest damn man in the world to have one such as she in love with him. "Let's go," he murmured, keeping one arm around her, unwilling to give up contact. Tonight had started off on such a low, he had never dreamed it could end on this overwhelming high. They were in love. Nothing would ever be the same and he would have it no other way.
 

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